in limbo

That's kind of how I feel right now, if you know what I mean.  There's a part of me that is still feeling the ambulance rides and then the other side says...girl.  Put on them big panties.  My mother actually gave me a pair one year!  I got a surprise visit from the girls last night and after much deliberation we decided on grilled turkey and cheese plus ice cream.  Except Reaves just had ice cream for dinner.  And yogurt.  And M&Ms, in Easter colors.

There is a side of me that wants more than anything to be close to my girls..and I indulge that thought in this time of in between.  The problem for me would leaving the serenity of this farm.  I want Reaves to experience that just like Lauren did.  My brother told me once "if you don't own it, you can't defend it" and he's right.  Yet I think that the owners of this place are good and honest folks who want to preserve the history.  They could have already made a kazillion by developing it yet they choose to honor the heritage.  That..means a lot.

Things are greening up which means I need to catch up with Mayberry and start over.  Such is life on the farm.

"And this too shall pass"