Monday, April 30, 2018

bad girl du jour

No it's not me.  That title belongs to Michelle Wolf the comedian who pissed a bunch of people off with her monologue at the White House correspondents' dinner.  Trump sent Sarah Huckabee Sanders to do his bidding at this affair and Wolf roasted her in a very uncomfortable way.  That's the only part I didn't like.  She took it gracefully and did not walk out like many others did.  Wolf hit every progressive item on the agenda including anti-abortion folks.  Once again, we are each entitled to our opinions and she is also.  She was probably using it as a springboard for her new Netflix series but whatever.  If Trump had any b**ls he would have been there himself to take the heat. 

I am still at that point in retirement when I'm not sure when the money is gonna' show up so I'm being extra cautious.  I haven't had to do that in a loooooong time.  The LTD payment came in a check the first time.  I filled out paperwork for direct deposit which is on the last business day of the month.  I checked this morning and it wasn't there so I called them to be told they had MAILED me a check on April 18th which I haven't received.  Alrighty then.  The pension from Methodist is there faithfully right on time every month.  SS varies or it did last month.  

I also just got a call from the insurance agent who said the life insurance company wanted to know who prescribes 2 medicines for me, neither of which is a big deal.  Lerd.  If I die before we get this thing done y'all do a GoFundMe for my funeral.  I also got a notice from the IRS telling me I owe them money which I knew and assumed they would take off the top of the refund.  Their bad.  Now you will get a payment plan.

I have paid off everyone involved with the surgery except for anesthesia.  They will get payments too.  Evidently what was left of my deductible was thrown to them.  All in good time people.  Give a girl a break.  

It's a beautiful day in the hood and about half of what I've planted has died due to my anxious early gardening.  So far there's no sign of Mr Snake but I haven't really dug into the dead stuff yet.  If I run across one, you'll hear me screaming wherever you are.  Vile creatures!  

I went and priced chalky paint yesterday and that stuff is high!  I have a color chart and two projects picked out so whenever the check shows up I'll be back at Lowe's.  I'm feeling creative in my old age.  I remember when my grandmother did every piece she own in antiqued avacado and gold.  It was a thing then!

All is well in my world.  How about yours?

Sunday, April 29, 2018

number 2

Weeks ago I began a post in tribute to Lauren's second AA birthday.  It was good therapy to relive how we got from there to here but far enough in the rear view that it really didn't seem appropriate for ME to share her story.  

Lauren never was wild about school but did well and started the nursing program at DSCC only to miss the pharmacology by one point.  After that she worked at the hospital as a unit clerk and figured out nursing really wasn't for her.  She set her sights on social work and commuted to UTM while working the graveyard shift at the local Best Western.  Immediately following graduation in 2010 she went to work in for profit mental health and that was a quick burnout. She was going to visit a client in Trimble and was the first person to come across a wreck where a young woman who barely had a pulse died on the scene from a broken neck.  The wails that I heard from her that evening were something like I've never witnessed.  Primal.  

Then our entire family died within a year.  She was at work when somebody called her from her daddy's phone to tell her he was dead.  As his only relative, it fell to her to take care of all that.  Shortly after that Daddy died and Mama was just a few  months behind him.  It was a LOT and we were pretty overwhelmed.  

At that point she made the decision to get on the waiting list for Aspell Recovery.  After six weeks, she started the program that saved her life and the lives of many others.  I cannot describe to you how wonderful this not for profit recovery center is both to clients and families.  She took the bus to work when she got a job and clawed her way to independent living where she now resides with Reaves who was one of the blessings of all this!  The six weeks following her birth was a hot mess with one complication after another.  She and Mikel and I went through that together and it wasn't easy for a very sick postpartum patient with a newborn.  But with the help of a village, they are both well and happy and Reaves is 7 months old.  

I am so proud of Lauren for her hard work and dedication.  She's a sweet soul with a heart of gold who can get tough when times call for it.  She's very artistic and talented in many ways.  We have a similar sense of humor where often an eye roll between us says it all.  We get it.

Happy Birthday Babygirl!  " I love you forever, like you for always.  As long as I'm living my baby you'll be. "  Keep the faith ^j^ 

Saturday, April 28, 2018

name that tune

I played that game on the way to Jackson and back trying to guess the song from the opening.  I'm a music freak so I got probably 90% right except for the ones that I couldn't even remember the name of the band.  Jack 100 FM plays my kinda' stuff.  Reaves was just waking up from a nap when I got there and the apartment immediately filled with kids who wanted to hold her and play.  Baylee and Layla are used to her and know how to handle her.  This one little boy lost control and kinda' sorta' dropped her!  No harm done...just scared her a little.  She is all OVER the place now crawling, rolling in flips, holding things between her feet and scooting around in the walker.  We took it outside and just enjoyed the sun.  She's very quick and spotted a bird in the bush next to us immediately.  Then she picked her mama a flower but I had to deliver it because she was trying to eat it.  

We had a very grumpy pizza delivery guy today who looked way too old to be dealing with the public in that capacity.  At the moment he arrived the front door was open and I was in the kitchen feeding Reaves in her high chair.  When I finally got to the door he was rude and bitchy.  He got what was left out of the 20 but it wasn't much, just saying.  I could hear him muttering " order a pizza and then not home when it gets there...."  Excuse me sir?  Did I not tell you I was feeding the baby and my daughter would be right back with the $$.  He threatened to take it back to the store and start all over.  We should have ordered from The Blacksmith like we had planned.  This guy was a piece of work.  Seriously.

Yesterday afternoon I rode down to the cabin and crawled through the windows to wander around inside.  It's still surreal to me seeing it empty like that.  What I thought was a deck off of the back porch was expanded to make it a HUGE back porch /deck.  On the way back I stopped to explore the flowers at our late mayor's house and pulled up a few bachelor's buttons to transplant.  Since that house will be coming down, I'll be back later in the year to scoop up those peonies!  The one I transplanted from Daddy is just about to bust open with crimson.  There are also several white ones in the pine grove.  I will never forget the day that he and I lit fire to those inches of pine needles and leaves and let 'er rip.  After that I could find what was there.  Bless my heart I used to pick up the limbs out of that field next to it when it was a horse pasture.  Anything to be outside.

Y'all soak up the sun while you can.  I got so much enjoyment from seeing Reaves exploring outdoors.  One of these days, we'll make a country girl out of her.  Hide and watch.

Friday, April 27, 2018

wasp city

Red wasp season has begun with a vengeance.  They're still pretty slow so I'm smacking 'em on a regular basis inside.  Today is devoted to nothing but piddling with windows flung open and bird tweet as background noise.  And five more days to come of sunshine rainbows and happiness!  I'm on 24/7 alert for mr snake right now especially when in the yard.  There's probably 5 generations of them in the basement.  I shall not explore that situation.  

My second round has been planted in the bales and needs some blood meal and watering so that's today's project.  I've been shopping chalk paint prices with a specific piece or two in mind for refurb.  One of them actually came from the neighbor's front porch.  Thanks Bev and Patrick!  

I visited with a new friend and her son last evening and it was kind of like holding Reaves because he's about the same age but not quite as wild!   It's a long story how we met and met again but I'm glad we did.  

The carpenters are back at the cabin today but I haven't visited today.  I just get in their way, ya know?  I'm just determined to have this restoration documented every step of the way.  It's history!

In other news Trump has humiliated the president of France publicly and got shot down immediately.  Go dude.  The candy man has declined the VA post but continues to dispense willy nilly while the rest of us cough up co-pays for things far more important than Ambien or Provigl.  I am to the point that I had to postpone an NP visit for BP follow up because I don't have the money.  New insurance and all that.  Thanks Obama.

Y'all seize the day.  

Thursday, April 26, 2018

plank by plank

Thank the lort for small things like a bigger screen to blog with.  I was developing a permanent stoop from bending over to see that little one.  Gay straightened me out a bit and stretched a lot of things today that needed work.  Huck gave me "sugar with a growl" and curled up in his spot to soak up the vibes.  

I had intended to run by the funeral home to give my friend a hug but didn't make it.  I noticed as I was going home the procession was about to leave for the graveyard.  I silently sent my regards across the bypass.

After that I stopped at the cabin to see what was up and found that there is a DECK in progress next to the back porch.  O.M.G.  That was a great surprise!  The rest of the day was spent piddling and visiting with Mamye.

This morning I was at the 'gentral and got a call from Lorna to do lunch so we headed to Mexico.  2nd time this week for me and I never get tired of it.  This cabin is going to be a pure work of art.  Lorna showed me several pieces that her daughter has redone using chalk paint which is something I'm going to explore.  Idle hands are the devil's workshop and all that.  

I'm sleeping like a log these days which is very nice.  I wake up slowly and take on the day as it comes.  Also a luxury, instead of get up and hit the pavement.  I eat what I want when I want it and do what I want when the spirit moves.  What started out as a routine surgery has turned into a real blessing for my life at this point.  I never intended NOT to go back to work until I was told it was irreparable.  

I will be broke, but then I was always broke when I had a job so, there you have it.  I am open for the universe to lead me and I pay attention.  There is a dead white cat that got hit on the highway still laying there after two days.  I just can't bring myself to put on gloves and scoop it up.  Eventually the hawks and vultures will get him.

Y'all keep looking for the sun.  I just know it will be back.


Tuesday, April 24, 2018


I have  had this laptop for a couple of months now but still use the old one for some things.  I don't remember any passwords (because of course, they're auto-saved) so I'm slowly going through the process of changing those like for the bank and whatnot.  Going to The Mill helps because if I have a dumb question there's somebody close who knows the answer!  Some friends dropped by with all kinds of tales to tell and I was just amazed at how cool she was with the video on her phone.  Two guys and a whole BUNCH of guns at Okeena Park.  The police were right behind them.  Lord knows what they were trying to pull off.  It all ended well except for some shaken spirits.  

And the bickering about gun rights continues night and day.  I'm sick of the arguing Trumpsters drowning out the voices of reasonable gun owners.  And the withholding of medical treatments like cannabis.  Not bitchin'....just saying.

I'm short on words today as the muse is soaked from three days of drippy and soggy.  Maybe tomorrow's treatment will change all that.

Namaste ~

Monday, April 23, 2018

tick time

I found a baby one crawling on my face today.  I knew it was coming eventually so today's outing included a visit to Pet Cetera for NexGard.  I've probably got Lyme disease for life anyway because of where I live.  If I had a dollar for every tick I've detached from my body I'd be living the dream in Fiji.  But alas, I'm sitting here on Pecan Lane in the rain ( again ) .  Quite soggy.  

I posted yesterday that Yeti is dropping its' support for the NRA and it was on like donkey kong on that thread.  I finally backed out and let them argue.  I am personally proud of the brands that are not backing them anymore.  They make this move in spite of the fact that they will lose some of their customers.  However?  I think they'll pick up a lot more in the long haul.  Last I heard the Huddle House shooter was still at large which would make me pretty nervous.  As the story goes he has a history and his guns were taken away by the law only to be returned to him by his Dad.  Great move.  I'm assuming he's got clothes on by now hiding in some culvert.  Nope...they just caught him.

For the life of me I do not understand all the furor.  Nobody wants to take your guns except for the ones designed for killing with high capacity mags.  That's it.  You and I have the right to protect ourselves and our families and to hunt according to the law but it doesn't take an automatic rifle to do that.  Or semi-automatic.  There is much bickering about exactly what the definition of an automatic weapon is.  This is splitting hairs over a deadly dilemma.  A lot of veterans and law enforcement officials have come out against them because they, more than anybody, know the damage that can be done.  

My friend posted a picture of Poppy Bush's socks at the funeral and it was the coolest thing ever.....books for Barbara on his feet.  Our community has lost another young person whose death will impact her entire family and husband.  Another friend just got a diagnosis of cancer.  Everybody is struggling with something so be kind to one another please and thank you.

Gratitude ~

Sunday, April 22, 2018

live a little

I could easily become a hermit and I am already in many ways.  I don't like crowds and I hate to drive.  I'm becoming my father!  All Mama ever wanted to do was go and he wanted was to NOT go and sit in the recliner.  I've noticed that even though I haven't gained any weight since I've become inactive, I'm getting thick in the middle.  That's from sitting in front of a computer all day.  My new routine will include a daily walk, starting out slowly so as to not have a heart attack.  I'm still sort of in limbo here with a possible move to the cabin this summer.  Time will tell.  Meanwhile the living room is full of furniture stacked up waiting to be placed somewhere permanent.  PLUS all the boxes that I'm slowly going through.  My attention span is pretty short so I go from one thing to the next piddling my life away.  But you know what?  It feels good at the moment.

It's been raining heavy enough to cause a little river down the driveway and as I was watching it I remembered seeing, for the first and only time, a snake swimming downstream in that very spot.  This was right before everybody started dying so I imagine it was a message for sure.  Sometimes I think too much, yet I am a firm believer in totems and the messages they bring. I should probably search "dead mouse" since Lily went down into the vent to get one yesterday.  Evidently she captured him in the clover then brought him in here to show me.  Once she got it out of the vent, I threw it outside and she was like "where did it go???"  

I'm trying to help find a new home for a dog of a friend of a friend but we've reached an impasse because of tax season.  Anyway, Bella is on the radar and has somebody interested.  My brother messaged me this morning that two of the goodest old boy brothers that we grew up with have both died.  David Davis and Tommy ran over one of the white pines that Daddy planted and figured they would duct tape it together and all would be well.   Ayep....they got busted.  

My daughter is a beautiful woman filled with spirit but she refuses to have her picture made because she's not ever "fixed up."  Today she is and looks stunning.  They're having a baby shower during the showers for Kim who is very pregnant with Clara.  She and I got close when Lauren had Reaves because she was ALWAYS there when we needed her.  It does indeed take a village and this bunch takes care of their own little tribe.  I love it.  

Carry on with faith ^j^

Saturday, April 21, 2018


I remember a time back in January when I would have given up mu first born for a day like today.  It's warm and breezy and a perfect one to just take in the beauty before the rain starts again.  Yet I have no motivation to get up and go.  A lingering cold and wonky blood pressure are making it hard to grasp exactly what a good day feels like!  I'm pretty sure my body is still trying to adjust from the high stress level of the past ten or so years.  

Dyer County Recycles hosted a bake sale yesterday and are co-sponsors of another fundraiser today at the fairgrounds celebrating Earth Day.  Believe it or not, we have no place in this little 'burg to take recycled trash.  Now that they are a certified non-profit they are able to raise funds for a building to offer this service.  Great work peeps!

I'm a gonna' miss my friend Gary's band this evening and I hate that.  He's been in a band of some sort ever since our high school days.  We were running buddies, along with Lisa.  And that was about 45 years ago.  Time flies.

I am eternally thankful that Trump chose not to attend Mrs. Bush's funeral because it would have been all about him as usual.  I noticed that the price of gas jumped up during the past week and heard that he's having a fit and threatening OPEC on twitter.  Lerd.  When Lauren was commuting daily to Martin for college the price was right at 4.50 which used up a bunch of student loan money just to get there.  That was also when the feds didn't release funds on freakin' registration day and she called me hysterical.  Emergency congressional funding took care of that item.  Globally, we're not doing so hot on the caring for the earth deal.  Pulling out of the climate talks in Paris was stupid.  Why not just TALK instead of tweeting and trolling all the time.  There are a lot of ways we can help clean up the earth.  One huge item would be switching to paper to go containers rather than styrofoam or plastic, including cups and straws.  They can be made from recycled paper therefore saving a tree and the toxicity at the same time.  

Our rivers are a mess.  If you don't believe me go see how many tires Brian Waldrop and Bernie Arnold and their crew pull out among other thing like creepy baby doll heads.  On this farm alone there is a graveyard under the bluff where ancient refrigerators and other crap lay around and get covered when the water's up.  

Many years ago there was a fundraiser for a local charity called Help-A-Spell.  It was an adult spelling bee and I participated two or three times coming in 2nd to the editor of the newspaper which wasn't too shabby.  It was fun and a good cause and I have time to revive ideas now.  I asked one of the former judges if he would be interested in taking part and he suggested we make it for ALL ages.  Of course we all know the kids would win.  Stay tuned.

As for me and mine we shall bask in the sunshine and rejoice ^j^

Friday, April 20, 2018

there it is

We have a monumental healthcare crisis in this country which is common knowledge.  Having worked in the field I've learned a lot about how things work which is often times not beneficial to the client.  In an industry driven by profit from diagnostics and futile care in many cases, consumers are often ill informed about their options.  Let me say that I have worked with for profit and not for profit companies over those forty years and there is very little difference operationally speaking.  Both are driven by money.  

If I were in charge, and I'm not, there would be universal healthcare.  In a perfect world wellness would be FREE including pap smears and mammograms.  It makes more sense insurance wise to head off illness before it begins.  Blood glucose  I can't tell you how many times we've discovered diabetics at those little health fairs that companies do.  Basic kidney function  These tests are cheap to perform and invaluable in early diagnosis of diabetes and or end stage renal disease.  Expansion of Medicaid by stubborn states like Tennessee would help.

The solution is easy.  Single payer healthcare assures equal access to this basic human right we know as medical care.  There are other industries that don't want to see this happen, particularly big insurance.  Imagine working with one single provider for all your healthcare needs.  Right now I have an ACA policy that is minimal coverage plus additional cost for dental which I really need.  However, there is a one year waiting period for restorative work like crowns and root canals.  So no partials for a year.   With no teeth on the left side.

Medicare should be available to all.  It takes the burden off of the employer for subsidizing health insurance, which is why most people continue to work past the time that they are physically able.  As a recent retiree I can tell you that I don't miss the stress of trying to provide quality care with limited resources and staff.  Payment by insurance is driven by diagnosis coding.  The ordering provider must provide ICD10  codes for every test or admission performed.  This would be true for universal coverage as well.   The wait time for procedures is one of the biggest arguments against single payer.  Taxes would go up but you would be paying for solid coverage rather than a premium to an insurance company that has a well paid CEO like at BC/BS headquartered in Chattanooga.  They pretty much run the show around these parts.  

I feel that I am well informed enough to speak from the heart about this subject.  For too many years I've seen patients and their families fall through the cracks of this fractured system of delivery.  And another thing:  Cannabis as medicine is an up and coming industry that should not be fighting the fights we face.  It's a plant....herbal.  The CBD products that I now use are serving me well in the chronic pain department.  There are a kazillion other medical uses.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  Rant over!

Thursday, April 19, 2018

good health?

I just had a mini physical by a guy who works for the life insurance company I've applied with.  I've been very diligent with the BP meds and have been checking it twice a day with an electronic machine that really doesn't work.   When he took it manually today it was 120/70 which is as they say "perfect" but I feel like I'm walking into walls.  There has to be a happy medium between medically perfect and how it makes you feel to be there but I'm not sure what it is.  So I have wasted 50 bucks on the BP thingy.  Live and learn.  

The farmers are at it hot and heavy out here plowing and spreading lime getting ready to guessed it.  Corn as in children of the....It's pretty creepy being all boxed in by it.  I have received my CBD topical and it works well and smells like heaven.  More oil is on the way.  I haven't checked the news today so I don't have a clue what is up in this world.  I'm sure it's more of the same tomfoolery.  I did read that Pruitt had a pricey soundproof booth installed in his office without approval.  That's a no no.  So are flights paid for by us.  And a lot of other things that are going on.  But, I regress.  It's out of my hands.  

Y'all stay happy and healthy and between the ditches.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

quick fix

The camera that I recently bought was a refurb that came with no instructions.  It's been sitting around idle so I turned it on last night and nada.  Error message was to turn camera off and back on.  Did it umpteen times to no avail.  So I immediately googled the error and found that the camera will not turn on with the lens cap on.  I love it when it's that easy!  The error code should say "remove lens cap."  Live and learn.  A lot of other folks asked the same question so I don't feel completely stupid.  

My new hero is that gutsy pilot who saved the day with the Southwest plane landing.  She was calm, cool, collected and according to passengers performed a miracle by getting them safely on the ground with one casualty.  The passengers worked together to try to save the victim's life but she didn't make it.  Makes you not want to have a window seat for sure.  

I'm still sifting through boxes and pictures.  It will never be done.  I found one yesterday of my 8 year old brother and two year old cousin backed by our great grandmother Ethel and Millette's daddy Jimbo.  There are pictures of EVERY Easter outfits we ever wore, and there were plenty.  

I'm actually doing Lauren a favor by not passing on these mountains of memories because some of them?  My mother photographed just about everything and had a story to go with it.  I guess I got that from her and Gaga.  

I put all the plants back outside and watered them in but the wind is still blowing the 'mater plants around so they may not make it after all that babying.  I have killed basil #2.  There are a few asparagus coming up now but not many.  We shall see.

Happy hump day peeps :)

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

up and at em

I had a breakfast date with Lorna this morning after she dropped the kids at school.  Dave's was closed so we went to Daylight Doughnuts where the whole cast was different except for Red.  Excellent food though, as usual.  After that we went to The Mill and spent some time with Chris teaching me "hands on" how to be a member.  All the furniture had been moved for the floor sealing and coating so Lorna and I stuck felt pads on the bottom of all of it before it was moved back into place for an event tonight.  You should have seen me crawling.....she took a butt shot.

I had noticed a young man come into the conference room where we had been and he was hard at work as a new member who has a very large sales territory and just moved here.  We exchanged pleasantries and he told me how excited he was to have a quiet place to work....just him and his laptop.  That's basically what The Mill is about.  A place with all you need to do business.  

The winners of the Shoot Dyer County contest were leaned against the wall up front waiting for display.  My friend Jim won not one but TWO!  I saw James Frank at the chicken store and he said they were working on the cabin again so I went by to check it out.  The back porch looks about halfway done!  Again, it is amazing to watch the transformation.  The bedroom window that was always covered with the back porch addon is now wide open with a clear view.  A concrete slab sits where the den was.  

Onward ~

Monday, April 16, 2018

quiet time

It is so eerie not be hearing the wind that has been howling for a week around this hill.  The quiet is deafening!  I can hear birds again even with the windows shut and heat on.  I slept long and hard last night, snuggled with Oscar right next to me.  He loves me so much because we took him in from the bad people.  

I went by the sawmill to pick up an Abbey/Mitzi original baby gift for Kim and got the chance to visit with everybody which included the "interim interim" director.  Kinda sorta'.  Amy and I have been through a lot these years together as co-workers for two different companies.  I got hugs.  Lots of 'em!
I passed Shine doing the floors and showed him a picture of Reaves.  

I was ready to head home after that with seriously cute quilt in tow after a couple of other stops.  Mitzi asked me today if I was bored yet and I had to be honest and reply "a tiny bit."  But not bad.  It has taken this long for my body and spirit to heal and it's an ongoing process.  I'm letting God open the doors for me and kick me in the ass if I don't walk through.  I feel more ready and open to what's next.


Sunday, April 15, 2018

the luxury of time

I just spent an hour and a half on the phone with a friend and I love it when that happens.  I talked KK all the way into Covington yesterday.  Tommy calls me when he's driving to Charlottesville to do weather.  I've talked Sondra through many a drive on 412 to Jackson.  It's a good way to catch up during dead time.  Heather is usually stuck in traffic when we talk.  Millette is on the road a lot so we get to catch up that way.  

I feel like an orphan today, which I am.  With both parents and a lot of other family gone I try to stay grounded and in touch with what I've got left.  My girls are the main thing right now.  Being retired means more time for family, like Paul Ryan at 48.  I'm sure I won't be idle much longer because I have the drive and creativity to do something big like change the world.  

I almost killed the 2nd pot of basil by leaving it on the porch last night.  He's nice and warm in the kitchen now along with the 'mater plants and a bunch of dirty clothes.  And dishes.  This is why I don't cook.  

Well so far we haven't been hit by Russia so there's that to be thankful for.  Trump claims victory as usual not realizing that this will never end.  There has been more than one reference to a connection between his statement and that of Dubya's after Sadaam was captured in a hole. We are about to face times like we've never seen before.  My deepest prayer is that Mike Pence is not as much of a nutjob.  Looks like Congress is about to be a free for all for Dems which needs to be tempered with some slight fiscal reasoning from the Republicans.  God knows how much those strikes on Syria cost and now everybody's all tense and shit.  Next thing you know he'll be bombing fat bastard's country which is, as Hoss would say "not good."

Anywho...y'all have a lovely Sunday.  This is the day that the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Saturday, April 14, 2018

my story

I first smoked pot as a tweenager and had an out of body experience as my friend Jimmy drove the backroads of 
Dyer county.  I really didn't like it because it made me paranoid.  Much later I learned to enjoy the experience for stress relief. AA and NA have a no tolerance policy with ganga.  A drug is a drug, they say.  All I ever heard at NA meetings was that everybody has a story and wants to tell it.

I never used again after that ride with Jimmy Neal until I was married and had a child.  It proved to be a calmative agent.  I quit again for about 10 years.  It made me walk around in circles on my days off trying to figure out what to do next.   That's called piddling.  

It wasn't until I had this last surgery that I realized that opiates are not the answer.  I was given very VERY low dose pain relief which I used wisely for those four months with myofacial release treatments weekly.  That's when I started using CBD products.  I have a topical on order for the left shoulder.  

I cannot fathom that at this point in my life we are having to fight for the right to this medicine when you can get 60 percocets if you have the right doctor. I don't miss the opiates at all. They allowed me to function at my current pain level which is how it should be.

There is a reason that THC is not socially acceptable as medicine as that is big pharm.  It cuts all into their profits for the next new pill.  It cuts opiate usage but is still illegal in many states.  Arrests and convictions have packed our courts and prison systems due to this archaic way of thinking.  Of course they make money too because of the fines involved.  Even the medical community has embraced this medicine yet it's still like working a puzzle to get your hands on it legally.  Folks go as far as changing their state of residence to have legal access.  Meanwhile an industry that is about to take off could provide millions in tax revenue and plenty of jobs.  

I am not a stoner like Dank and Dabby yet I firmly believe that in my lifetime we will see terrific change as states figure out what they're missing out on.  One by one they are changing their tunes.  I cannot remember any crimes committed by a marijuana user other than that involved with the smuggling. Mostly they just eat cookies.   I read yesterday about two crooked cops who were providing coverage for heroin dealers in exchange for payoffs.  This is the crap we whould be scared to death of.  Opiates are extremely powerful and bought on the street are often cut with other more powerful drugs.  Anything involving needles is like playing Russian roulette.  I think back to the entertainment greats that have been lost to opiate overdose like Jimi Hendrix, Janie Joplin, Michael Jackson and on and on.  John Belushi. Kurt Cobain.  Naloxone awareness in the first responder sector is gaining momentum.  That's a start for saving lives.  It should be provided free to anybody who wants it just in case you run across an overdose in every day life.  When administered quickly, it reverses the effects of the opiates.  

Most employers require pre-employment and random drug testing that includes THC.  The problem with this is that it is stored in fat cells and even days after using cannabis, the test still shows positive.  This is not impairment on the job.  I know more than one doctor who has shown up for surgery drunk.  Now THAT is scary.  I have never gone to work impaired in any way.  People's lives are at stake.  

Meth is the devil.  I've never witnessed such extreme devastation of lives as with this home made poison.  You can spot a regular user a mile away just by their skin and chatter.  It's really sad to see a life wasted like that.  

Switching gears here....we are now witnessing Trump's war games.  I have mixed feelings about the whole thing and don't really think he should have done it without Congressional approval but that's his call.  He probably wouldn't have gotten it.  I admire the UK and France for stepping to the plate to help whether it was a right or wrong move.  I personally don't believe anything will ever change in Syria because of Russian backing.  And here is where we are walking a very thin line.  Emergency meeting of the UN Security council?  Hmmmm.

It's still windy as heck and rained all night.  I did get some blood meal down before the rain came but had to water it in with a hose to keep it from blowing away.  I don't know what's in that stuff but the dogs love it.

Peace Love and Tolerance ~

Friday, April 13, 2018

you should write a book

I've been told that a kazillion times and it just all seems like a lot of trouble.  I write as i react to life except for the rare times when I wander off into history.  I recognize that I am blessed to be able to rest my body and soul at this time of life.  People are appearing to me here and there with whom I have history.  I appreciate that much more these days.  I can't say that I've ever had just one BFF.  Most of them are a phone call away if I need them.  I think at different points in your life God puts you with the friends who are your tribe for awhile.  Sometimes it's nothing more than school.  With others, it's the memories that we made OUTSIDE  the school walls.....

But......back to books. James Comey has written one about just how screwed we are with Trump as POTUS and he continues to twitter fight and bring up Obama and Hillary.  Geez man.  I wonder if Pence took the VP job because he'd eventually get to replace him!  You never know.  What does it take to have him declared unfit for office?  A psychiatric eval for one thing.   The tweets are all there along with the erratic relationships with world leaders.  I think they honestly feel sorry for us....except for Russia.  They don't play.

I woke up to some face time on messenger with the girls this morning and Reaves was bewildered that she could see and hear me but not touch.  You could see her little brain trying to figure it out.  She loves Grammaw.  I had the precious honor of rocking her as she slept the other day.  It's kind of a sacred time.

The wind is still howling.  I'd say we're at a high risk for wildfires right now so no burning for me.  I learned my lesson with I caught the bean field on fire and both fire departments came to put it out.  It was on the front page of the paper and I was poster girl for " turn around don't burn." To say that Bubba was pissed is an understatement.  The only other fire I remember besides the asparagus bed mishap was when a power line snapped and fell live into a bean field.  It was HUGE.  The electric company had to help with that one plus all the firefighters  

Farmer Joey's daughter and her family are living, or will be soon, right beyond that field.  The house is to die for gorgeous and the path leading north is where I remember going with my Pawpaw.  I'm glad there will be a happy family there because it was being used as a car lot.  Long story short, I rescued two dogs that lived there and turned them in.  They kept wanting to stay HERE.  One was a great dane and he was too big for the bay so he sat in the front seat with her.  


Thursday, April 12, 2018

cast of characters

There have been so many people hired and fired during Trump's administration I can't even remember them all.  Normally during a presidential transition you have a large turnover and they stay put until the next election.  But noooo...since very little thought was given to the skill sets of those chosen for these positions, they're falling by the wayside and taking him with him. For DeVos to be in charge of the department of education with zero experience in the public system is absurd.  If you want to home school your kids, go ahead.  It's safer and not nearly as annoying as all the things that public school teachers have to deal with on a daily basis.  Charter schools are a crock....just like outsourced prison.  More money for the  big dogs instead of fixing what's wrong.  I read a lengthy well written piece about two different high schoolers and how they feel about going to college.  The bottom line is that a liberal arts education isn't worth a whole lot in the workforce these days.  Certain areas like healthcare and computer technology are high in demand but not for everyone.  When vocational arts were removed from our high school, many students went into the work world ill prepared with no skills.  According to the author, the girl who "hates school" and doesn't want to go to college happened to have a passion for culinary which she followed all four years.  

I'm in that kind of mood today....kind of "meh."  It's nice and warm but still too windy to do any gardening.  I visited Gay and Huck today and got puppy sugars.  He knows me now so I'm not a threat.  I met Lorna for a few minutes at Java and she gifted me with some Tiger Balm for my aching parts.  That stuff is amazing!  I'm also dabbling with CBD products from one particular company.  Before you call the law on me, there's no THC in this stuff.  That combined with ibuprofen and naproxen are helping me work out hiccups with pain flares.  

I've been a diet coke fiend all my life back to the days of Tab.  Just recently I was taking inventory of what could go for my health and aspartame was on the top of the list.  If I want a drink, I get the real kind which isn't often.  Mostly it's flavored water.  

So, what's up in YOUR neck of the woods?

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

'til the fat lady sings

I hate grocery shopping with a passion which is why I go to the 'gentral every day.  Sometimes you just gotta' bite the bullet and go to Kroger.  NEVER Walmart.  Too many choices.  As I was loading the car I passed my brother who is the fuel manager on his way to lunch, returning a cart to the store.  We chatted and moved on.  

I just got a call from a former co-worker wanting to know how to do some things and I honestly feel sorry for them.  They are losing another body this week which happens to be the director.  And inspections are coming plus a sale and all that the conversion entails.  

That is not my worry but it breaks my heart to see what was once a proud and professional group of healthcare providers who do the next right thing.  They are now overworked, underpaid, and have very little time for family with 12 hr shifts.  Whoever invented that for nurses is nuts.  Not mandatory, anyway.  Incentives have been cut for weekends and shift duty.  

I still see 30s lurking in the forecast so I'm showing restraint with the urge to plant.  I flipped over those shelves that blew from the porch and filled 'em with dirt and compost.  nice little compartments.  That one particular piece came from the hospital at least a hundred years ago.  

Smile.  It always gets better ^j^

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

settling in

It's kind of amazing how much I had to write about when time was limited and I was out in the world of the sick and dying.  There is a huge transition coming up there and I'm pretty much out of the loop on what's what.  As I should be, by the way.  40 years is a long time.  I'm flying on faith that it will all work out financially.  

The foundation of the cabin is done and snake free.  Windows and porches will be next.  The yard is pretty bare from the dirt work but some of Daddys stuff is still coming up.  I took some buttercups from his yard to he and mom on Easter.  Daddy took great pride in keeping the yard nice.  In the end he would get me to take him to get wave petunias and he would stuff them into hanging pots willy nilly.  Me and the sitter spent all one morning while they were at church replanting!

Per crop rotation I will be surrounded by corn again this year.  I will never forget watching the crew put together that irrigation system that stretches down Samaria Bend.  And all those years before the crops depended on mother nature's whim.  The river bottoms are still muddy as heck and will stay that way for a month or two.  

Yesterday's entertainment was a woodpecker going apeshit in the front yard.  It's the little things, ya know?

Monday, April 9, 2018

munchkin time

I just got back from a visit to Jackson for grammaw time.  We always eat...either McDonald's from Bells or carryout from Rock'nDough.  My knee is better enough that I can get on floor level with her and be able to get up if I  The weather is nice and supposed to get even better.  Maybe there will be a spring after all.  Lauren and Kim and Reaves were all loaded up for grocery shopping when I pulled out to come home.  Her daddy has a new house with a big jungle gym in the yard.  She'll grow into it.  Learning to crawl and almost there, you can see the determination in her eyes.

I do not get that Trump is still trying to blame Obama for something that continues to spiral out of control.  Same thing with blame gaming Hillary.  It's HISTORY and is not relevant to what is on the table right now.  All the world leaders think he's a jackass playing hardball with no ammo.  Russia blames Israel.  It's all a hoax....and on and on.  The Syrian army is very adept at chemical warfare as are many of the countries backed by Russia.  And on top of all that?  Russia is ( more than likely) involved in a massive election pandering.  Come on Mueller.  Give it to us straight.

Sunday, April 8, 2018

the art of piddling

It's always been my nature to work in spurts as the spirit moves.  I have pictures here from multiple families that are slowly being sorted through for those that care.  The fuzzy "can't tell who you are" ones are going in the trash.  It's a hot mess right now but I will conquer this.  My mother would flip in the grave if she knew how many books are yet to be opened.  She photographed EVERY little thing and I'm glad she did.  There is a rich history there.

Not only are there pictures but a lot of really old stuff like pins and whatnot.  Daddy's life in volunteer and career service pins.  Mama's charm bracelets.  And on and on.  Going through this stuff now is good closure for me.  BG and I were trying to remember when life with the grands changed course and figured it was around 2006 or so.  He was diagnosed with fronto temporal dementia which ain't a pretty thing for somebody with a temper or anybody who lives with them.  

The ghosts of Mr and Mrs Council visit often via bumps in the night or creaks on the stairs.  Daddy appears daily in the form of a bright red cardinal by the bathroom window.  Hey Daddy..I say.  And yesterday it was Hey Spike.  The history of this farm alone is enough to boggle the mind.  That story has been told in bits and pieces along the way.  

Go hug somebody like you mean it ^j^

Saturday, April 7, 2018


Being retired is a big adjustment for somebody who has never known anything but working for the man.  I made a decent living in the lower middle class sector but struggled with money in spite of it.  I drive a 17 year old car that has been trusty thus far.  If that car dies, I'm screwed.  However, during the boon of the 80s we did manage to have two nice vehicles with payments, of course.

I feel healthier even though the pain is still there.  I can't imagine trying to do the job I left in December, not knowing that I would not return.  I slept a LOT and still do.  The rest is what my body has needed for a long time.  About 7 years ago the drama started with my family and it took a toll on all of us.  We still get their mail on occasion..  

I have things in mind and plans to put into motion but I'm taking it slowly as the spirit moves.  Spike's widow sent me a picture of something she found while going through his stuff.  It was a letter to the editor written by a high school me urging support for our athletic teams!  I don't remember writing it at all but even then what I said made sense.  I write because I want to express myself with words and photographs.  And I am always a rebel with a cause.  

Manifesting clarity and wisdom for myself is at the top of my list.  The sage burning is a daily ritual that soothes me.  Slowly but surely I'm discovering who I am now.  Not somebody's employee or mama or daughter or minion.  Just me, Janie.  I get the biggest kick out of giving people my email address that inclues "poopster", like on business calls when I have to spell it out for them.  I always dare them not to laugh.  My childhood nickname is Poopie.  Long story.

I pray for peace and abundance in this world.  There are so many things we have taken for granted that they are slowly going away due to man made pollution to fund the big dogs.  Imagine growing your own food and do it in a healthy way.  I think my straw bales loved that little dusting of snow this morning.  

I am celebrating here on the hill, the life of James Reece Noonan.  Heaven has gained one of the sweetest angels ever.



I woke up this morning knowing there was a chance of show but it still was a shock to see it falling on all the green.  The wind is whipping it around so much that it blew off my well cover and the shelves on the back porch with a couple of plants and feeding supplies.  Lerd.  Crazy weather.  Everybody at the 'gentral was talking about it.  It's just a dusting but still.....

I had planned to go to Spike's service but my blood pressure is still a bit wonky so I decided to stay put.  He would totally understand.  I sure am gonna' miss that fact I already do knowing that I can't just call him up.  I am thankful that he is out of pain and misery.  

One of the smoke detectors is beeping so I've got to figure out how to get up there to change the battery which ain't easy for a short gal like me.  There are times when I miss having a man around to help with things.  Like I tell my brother "I'm just a girl."

Y'all stay warm.  Surely spring will get here eventually and when it does it will go straight into summer like it always does in West Tennessee.  Normally by this time we're wearing shorts.  


Friday, April 6, 2018

one of these days

Much like Ruth Whitefeather Feldman I am a cannabis activist.  While I know in my heart how it all happened it doesn't help when you think about the number of people who could be helped by access to cannabis.  Meanwhile Big Pharm does their best ( with a big budget ) to keep it illegal or shady.  It is a PLANT people.  Like hemp...rope stuff.  Great crop back in the day before Monsanto got involved.  Reefer madness my ass.

It looks like a slow news day except for Trumps usual shenanigans.  I don't even look anymore.  He makes me sick.  I scan the other stories instead.  I did notice the irony in his choice for that Department of Interior job.  Geez man.  Didn't you check out her resume?

Auntie Erica just treated us to pictures of her two baby girls playing, one of which is Reaves.  They look like they're having a ball together.  Baylee is older so she gets to be the boss of those two.  God works in mysterious ways.  

Plans are to head to Nashvegas tomorrow with my friend to attend Spike's service but ummm....drumroll.  Chance of snow from here to there.  We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Lauren has a 2nd birthday coming up this month and words can never describe the miracles I've seen during the past two years with Aspell.  She went from taking the bus to a job at Goodwill to a full time position with lots of help for transportation plus a community to help raise her child.  Happy early birthday Babygirl.  I am proud and humbled to be your momma.



Thursday, April 5, 2018

meet and greet

I have watched in wonder for the past couple of years as Chris Donaldson has hatched his plan for a co-work space in Dyersburg.  I've posted pics of the progress along the way but to see it now you'd never imagine what a mess that building was before he started.  Today was grand opening/ribbon cutting day with attendance by both mayors and a ton of other folks who came to check it out.  An entire class from TCAT came to see what's new downtown and were treated to a bird's eye view of the co-work concept.  As a business incubator for startups or even established business operations, it is sure to be asset to the community.  I got to visit a lot of folks and catch up with their lives plus I made new friends.  Win.Win

I ran across the street to the crack feed store and my personal consultant picked me out a beautiful and HUGE boston fern for the front porch.  It will hang right behind the swing as usual. It's still not spring here no matter what the calendar says.  I hear there will be below freezing temps next week which will require a bucket or two to save what little I have in the ground.  

My heart breaks for all those kids whose mothers murdered them en masse by driving over a cliff into the ocean.  Geez man.  It seems there is no limits on crazy anymore.

Keep smiling.  Keep shining ^j^

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

out and about

It amazes me that I can still sleep as long as I do even after four months off.  Obviously my poor body was out of gas and serotonin.  I went to the surgeon's office for the 20 hundreth time today for a paper which wasn't what HR said I have to have so um.  Back to square one on that.  There is no hurry.  

After the boomers last night it got quite enough that the garden center at Lowe's was closed off with redirection to the main entrance.  Found my blood meal and lusted over some to die for calla lilies that my friend had loaded up for her sister's belated wedding reception.  Also got some meds at the same price I was paying before so praise Jesus and all the saints.  

Okay then:  The YouTube shooter.  Obviously a lunatic with a death wish.  You're against animal cruelty and you're pissed off because YT doesn't post all your videos yet you shoot PEOPLE?  She obviously had a grudge with them which just goes to show you that crazy people into their own little heads 24/7 will go to any length to be noticed.  

Lest you think that I am totally left wing, I am supporting Dr. Rolando Toyos for Corker's senate seat.  I like Bredesen but....meh.

Happy hump day ~~

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

against the wind

I fought it all the way to Jackson and back this morning feeling like the next big gust was gonna' sweep me off the road into Safari Park.  I know that road by heart now....every landmark.  It's so nice to fly on down that smooth road they were repaving back in the heat of last year around when Reaves was born.  Those were some hot slow and miserable trips.  I spotted this huge bunch of wisteria hanging above  a residential street over there and it had even begun to take over the power line.  That stuff is magical to me.

Reaves was napping when I got there but woke up quickly to enjoy Grammaw time.  Auntie Erica and Baylee brought over a new walker which is just her size and she proceeded to roll up and down the  sidewalk while we were enjoying the warm weather.  The wonder in her eyes just melts my heart.  She held  me eye to eye the entire time I gave her a bottle.  That was AFTER oatmeal with bananas.  

We are now under a tornado watch which is something we don't take lightly here in tornado alley.  It's warm and windy....just the right conditions for a big storm.  Let's keep our fingers crossed that I don't have to go to the basement with the snakes.  Hell I'll probably take my chances in the hall with the critters.  I left the redneck water hose going overnight the other day and woke to find water streaming down the driveway all the way to the lane.  

The details to be tended to never cease.  I've just priced life insurance so that Lauren won't be stuck with the bill.  New health and dental are in the works.  The BK trustee must be dealt with also.  All of this was coming outta' the check from my status as an employee of the hospital.  I'm on my own now!

Ya'll be safe and happy....and love the one you're with ^j^

Monday, April 2, 2018

walking the walk

Usually the few comments left on this blog are either from Jim or the Turkish terrorists.  I notice when one is there.  Following my post about not being an " Easter Christian" someone felt compelled to call me out for talking the talk without walking the walk.  It's easy to invent an identity to comment so who knows what the deal was.  I feel no need to defend my spiritual beliefs or actions to anyone because God knows my heart.  The church building is a gathering place for those who choose to worship in that way.  I've done it for years and will do so again.  And that, dear reader, is between me and the Almighty.

No Jackson trip today because I feel like crap and it's raining.  We will shoot for tomorrow and hope for the best.  I pretty much go with the flow on scheduling now because I can.  That's a pretty sweet feeling.  I spent yesterday digging through ancient pictures of family and friends and found one of my buddy from the feed store when he was a hot young lifeguard at the Moose pool where I worked.  And of course I posted it.

Feeling peaceful ^j^


Sunday, April 1, 2018

good intentions

I had intended to meet my friend at church and ended up sleeping until 915 so there you go.  I did however go by and visit with the ladies putting flowers on the cross and it's the same bunch every year.  There's not much blooming right now....daffodils are almost gone and too early for others but I managed to pull together a nice assortment of this and that to put on Mama and Daddy's grave.  They had an extra lot which was eventually sold for someone who was younger than me.  That's kinda' creepy.  It was the first time I had visited since her stone went up.   Bubba prowls around out there every Sunday morning and found the gravesite of some old timers from the farm, Simon and Hettie Bizzle.  

I stopped by Cousin Mo's to leave a rocking chair that was Lauren's for repair and addition of Reaves' name on it.  She is remodeling their house and it is to die for gorgeous.  They were headed out to have Easter lunch with the fam.  

Ryan's guy was here mowing when I got home and I had to give him specific instructions about the asparagus bed.  It hasn't started bearing yet so he mowed over it to cut down on the weeds.  Peak season is April.  It's hard to believe it's that time again.  

This coming week brings a trip to Jackson for girl time and Nashville for Spike's celebration of life.  Dana and I are in awe of the number of people who have read his tribute.  He was much loved and respected, to say the least.

Y'all have a happy Easter and find lots of eggs.  Save the chocolate peanut butter ones for me.