Monday, October 31, 2011

the lonely tree

There is a single tree remaining in the field that runs from my lane down towards my parents' house. No telling how many rings are on it, and it has been trimmed time and again to allow room for farm equipment to maneuver around it. With the upcoming installation of an irrigation system, that tree is destined for the paper factory prior to next summer. I've seen many of these systems in the bottoms, gleaming in the sunlight and inching around giving the crops a drink. Now I'll get to watch one live and in person make its' way slowly up and down behind the homestead and back towards Pecan Lane.

Evidently I am caught up on ZZZs because I woke up WITHOUT an alarm before the sun came up today. Most of my pictures are made in the afternoon because I'm just not organized enough to have the camera with me *at all times* like a good photographer will. With two days off and time to burn, I see some serious picture taking around the corner. Yard play too! On this Halloween day, I am grateful beyond belief to not have a child who expects to be hauled around to the neighborhoods where they have good candy. Been there, done that many many times. We never have trick-or-treaters out here on the lane, and only once has the yard been rolled. You know who ya'll are too. I see on FB that you got it back this weekend!

The TV is officially gone and I didn't even know it for three days. Take that MSM! As long as BG has episodes of Family Guy to watch, it's all good. There are dishes and clothes to wash and dogs to be fed. Ya'll be sure and check your candy for razor blades and other such nonsense. And for pete's sake don't let the child molesters in the neighborhood creep up on you. Ahh, for the good old days.

Over and out and BOOOOOO from the lane.

^j^

Saturday, October 29, 2011

and then it snowed

Holy moly ya'll...is it not bad enough that the country's in the freaking toilet but NOW there's a n'easter reminding the Yankees that they may get the good stuff during summer while us crackers sit down here and sweat buckets but by golly it NEVER snows in Tennessee on Halloween. But one time that I remember, it did drop an inch or so of wet heavy blogs on the interstate between here and St.Louis on that very day. We were on the way to see Phantom at the Grand Theater on my Ky cousin's dime. We had both of her boys plus a Russian exchange student who didn't know quite what to make of the whole deal. Not sure where her hub was, just absent.

Anywho, we left late in the day and by dark the snow was so heavy that she couldn't see to drive. She THOUGHT she could, but I pitched a hissy fit with the three teenage boys in the back and told her to get a room. Right.Damn.Now. There was a dim light in the foggy flakes near Cape so we pulled up in there and everybody said "go figure." We made it to the Grand next day just in time for me to ooh and ahh over the kind of show I had never seen but her dad, my uncle Jimbo loved to his marrow. Surrounded by thick velvet curtains in that historical place was magic. I swear to this day that his spirit was with us that night when nobody killed each other and we just went to bed. He had died two years earlier from early onset super progressive prostate cancer. And the feds say that PSA isn't a "good" screening test. My Ass! By the time he knew he had it, there were bone mets with elevated enzymes found on a routine blood panel. If the PSA test and less invasive procedures like today's biopsies had been available, perhaps he would still be alive. Oh Lord...I don't know if we could handle him the mix of old people we've got perking right now. They are a hoot, pure and simple.

Then there was the year my mama actually made me a costume as a hay bale out of a box covered in burlap and straps, stuff with cotton. Even had a little cotton covered hat and I proudly won first prize at the Alice Thurmond elementary contest. Ahh...those were the days. Later in life all of my work buds would get together and dress up and get drunk all the time eating seriously unhealthy food that was somebody's specialty. Everybody hung out in the kitchen for some reason :0

Over the years, I have loved a whole boatload of people that I work with, many of them in a love/hate sort of way. You guessed it! The ones with the hook that got me every time was some evil hearted self centered guy who loved being adored. Hey...at least I can admit it. I say "I love you" easily and freely and hug a lot. When I am your friend in the truest sense, nothing is too much to ask as long as it doesn't involve money ;) Thanks to Big E, I've got friends who do have a little extra. If the politicians don't spend it all before tax refund time, my friends will be repaid. Think about that when you vote.

Meanwhile, please don't let cops give war vets concussions with grenades. Just saying.

^j^

Friday, October 28, 2011

research rocks

Even on a day off, I woke up at six thirty AM eager to join my brother on a fact finding mission about our farm and the history. The heir and owner is retired now and has taken an interest in preserving the history that is his heritage. On his last trip he and my brother visited with the neighbors to pick their brains, and we did the same today following trips to the funeral home, library and courthouse. We smooth forgot that the horse had broken out during the night and was grazing in my yard. It's okay...he never goes far from the sweet feed.

Yesterday's rain clouds are moving out and the sky is a gorgeous blue background to all of the gold and red leaves that hang from every tree and vine. It's almost time for the annual cuttin' and burning of the asparagus with a dose of natural mulch for the winter. Today was payday so the propane guy gets something to let him know I'm still kicking, and the rest goes to who knows what. Probably whomever leans on me the hardest.

I still have a few hours of playtime before hitting the bed with the puppies to rest up for my weekend at the sawmill. Per trickle down economics, we are down to seeing only those who are REALLY really sick because nobody else can afford to come and visit what with the price of co-pays and such. If I visit the ER and fail to be admitted, my co-pay is a hundred bucks deducted through payroll deduction. Hmmm. Not unless I'm bleeding or dying ya'll.

Always remember who you are, and keep that sense of humor close by. It has proved invaluable to me as a sanity aid.

^j^

Thursday, October 27, 2011

when all else fails....

Turn to music...that's what I do when it's nasty and wet and a SAD afflicted old gal gets stuck in the house. At least it's not cold yet! Me and the doggies are curled up respectively in our nests letting the time pass by slowly. There is soup in the crock pot simmerin' and I'm listening to Adele trying to remember who I am. All the energy involved in the drama that is my life sometimes just needs to be cached by an intense hibernation. It's the girl cave theory ;)

There will be no political views expressed here today because I'm just sick and tired of all the talk and no action. If just a few of them would stand up and listen to us rather than the money, there would be no problem. The power and the greed and the self righteous attitudes are not what Big Ernie likes to see. I always think about angry Jesus flipping those tables over in the temple. Um..hmm. Watch out ya'll, there will be a day of accounting for lifetime achievements. Just saying.

"Keep the faith somewhere, my day will come. Love owes me one." Ronnie Dunn

^j^

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

eccentricity

I never did jump on the Apple wagon even though my brother and friends did early on and have remained loyal fans. BG, of course, learned to "compute" on the model that was sold to millions of schools in the eighties. I have a very deep respect already for the writer of the Steve Jobs biography because some of the stories I've read capture the essence of a driven man. In everything from work to diet, the man was obsessed with doing his thing, whatever it might be at the time. Kind of like a four year old on a mission to do things his way...and a whole lot like my daddy at this point in time. Dayum ya'll, his OCD wears me the eff out so I can only imagine why my poor mama takes nerve pills and cries sometimes. She is learning, at the ripe old age of 78 years to finally stand UP to her man. It ain't pretty but I silently high five her every time she does it.

It's kinda quiet around here with minus one roomie. Can't say that I'm not enjoying it a little bit, either. It's bad enough when you're married to one who treats you like crap but hell to the NO on putting up with that shit when you don't have anything to lose. Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes the bug. In times of trouble, you know who really cares.

The forecast is for an all day rain tomorrow which will suit my plans for sleeping in just fine. I can feel the need for a twelve hour nap coming on pretty quick. Hello Comedy Central, that is...if the teevee people haven't cut me off yet. Except for chosen shows, I rarely watch the MSM choosing instead to get my news from the web and my laughs and sobs from favorite shows and characters. More time to explore and play.

Speaking of which, the colors are kickass and time is wasting. Ya'll remember who you are. It's the only thing that keeps me sane at this point.

^j^

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

water cooler conversation

If anybody had told you I'd be having a chat about the GOP presidential nominees today, I would have said "you're on drugs." HOWEVER..there is a very sweet co-worker who is so republican conservative that I couldn't help but ask who his fav is. We both think that Ron Paul makes the most sense with only one major policy disagreement in my book. He likes Santorum (gag) because he's a pro-marriage and family man and we both shook our heads over Rick Perry, bless his used-car-salesman heart. And then there's Newt and the new girl. She makes Palin look like a brain surgeon, if you know what I mean. He likes Cain a whole lot and my jury is still out. He has a teenage son and two cuter than pie little girls who pose for Christmas cards every year. That group is an eclectic mix of men and women who are working for the corporation, just like we are but they take the liability because malpractice reform is an oxymoron in today's world. Don't get me started on lawyers.

Elsewhere in my limited scope of vision, things are lookin' up in a "better than the valley" sort of way. Big Ernie delivered an answer to something bigger than me today in a most surprising way. No...sugardaddy didn't pay off the propane guy so save your applause for the next act. Instead, he gave me my babygirl back one more time and promised to watch over us and we dig through this life we've created together and move toward the next chapter. There are no jobs here except for factory work and some ag and construction, thanks to our proximity to the Big Muddy. The small town conservative mindset here has failed to foster economic development. Churches run our local politics and that's a very narrow view. There has been some interest in developing the area adjacent to the river downtown. There is a farmer's market and progress has been made on hiking and bike trails. It will take a lot of volunteer effort to preserve that history. I hope that it happens.

Mama'n'them seem to be maintaining, which is always a blessing. They'll have to catch a ride to breakfast with Tony next Sunday since I'll be at the sawmill. I wonder if he finds the doughnut sacks in his floorboard too. There's a special place in heaven for folks like that, ya know?

Indian summer is about to come to an abrupt halt tomorrow with a soaking rain and cooler temps. The colors still haven't peaked yet but the camera is ready complete with charged batteries. BG is out on the porch working on a shot of a gift from my dear friend Anita in Utah. One Christmas, I sent her a box of pecans in various stages of harvest from shells on to roasted with my mama's secret recipe. She repaid the kindness by hand painting a couple of mugs with a scene of our lane covered in snow.

Thanks for the karma. God is good ^j^

Monday, October 24, 2011

it is what it is

And to tell you the honest to god truth, that's a very simple and valuable truth. It took me a long time to quit the whining and put on big girl panties. It was like every time horrific happened I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and give up like a woosie. If you have ever witnessed a running Stafford fit, you know that not to be true for very long. Country girls will survive and all that precious stuff! I won't ever forget the first time I saw Gretchen muddin' on a four wheeler singing Redneck Woman. In spite of all the proper southern raising, that's pretty much me.

My friend came out today for a pro-bono installation of mama's sound system. I must say, it beats the hell out of my ten dolla wallyworld shit. The new handyman came around and fixed some windows and the back door today so we're ready for winter. Except for the propane thing. If any of ya'll believe in the power of good vibes, send that one out into the cosmos, umkay? Sorry Count...we couldn't figure out your old school gift. But it's the thought that counts! The battery charger went mysteriously missing about a month ago and I found it today under the couch cushion. Big Ernie is good ^j^

Thursday, October 20, 2011

trickle down to humanity

We've all heard about the trickle down effect where shit hits the fan and it takes some time for it to make it to the bottom of the food chain. Thus far, Americans have been able to squeak by while the politicians and CEOs duke it out over severance packages and what to bitch about next. For twenty odd years I've watched as corporate entities took over our world and told us how it was gonna be. At first they put a pretty face on it with lots of emphasis on customer service and "growing" ideas to boost production with a smile. If I had a dime for every time I acted as goodwill ambassador for my company, I'd be retired by now. Healthcare is a service industry manned by clinical people who are paid like the middle class folks that we are, and a whole boatload of support personnel who do everything from housekeeping to food service to clerical. Many of those people whose jobs do not require a degree or certification make little above minimum wage yet the work that they do, particularly in the HIM and pre-cert areas, affect the way we get paid by insurance. I have never understood why it makes more sense to not use an LPN with experience to oversee that whole admissions/orders/coding thing rather than having someone who doesn't know shit from shinola doing a computer search for a code that works. An outdated one, I might add. Anyway, the point is that the non-depression has finally found its' way into the medical arena because nobody has the money for a co-pay. That, is sad.

Because healthcare service is a basic need like police and fire protection, we have come to expect that it will always be there and that our jobs which allow us to kinda sorta afford insurance will help us pay for it until we drop dead at work from sheer exhaustion and somebody steps over our bodies to pick up the ball. Since my roommate decided it was a little too tight around here, I have found myself once again attempting to finance a household on one salary. It's doable most of the time thanks to generous friends who help me in a pinch. I've come to recognize that most of my income tax refund (if there is one) will be used to repay those people. My borrowing options at banks is zilch because of a poor credit rating that can't be improved because I can't get credit. Ahem. Whenever I get turned down, regardless of the hit to my score, I silently thank Big Ernie for keeping me from going any further into debt. Living on cash is where it's at ya'll. Not speculation, or predatory lending.

My ex and I filed a BK in '95 that was entirely plastic debt. Vehicles and bank loans were re-affirmed and paid as agreed. Within six months I had another card. That was around the time that the financial free for all started for the American worker and I quickly learned that banks and their fees are the devil unless you've got big bucks to deposit. I, by the way, do not. That is what Occupy Wall Street is about to me....a unified cry for us as a country to get away from living that American dream of the fat cat 80's. Need I say NAFTA? Sorry Bill...I'm still a fan.

Bless their hearts, my brother and his wife gradually helped me to get back to the basics of being a steward of the land and appreciating the value of an honest barter. Hey..if times get really tough I'll trade one of the dogs...nah, the cat...for some flour! With my luck, that'll be the day the propane runs out. On Christmas eve with snow on the ground. My friend Sue's remark about the latest drama: "You have a black cloud over your head." No shit. But this too shall pass.
On my way to clock out I noticed an obviously mentally challenged patient sitting in wait for some sort of test and remembered the dude who cried because he had no shoes.

If I were still a bar hopper, this would be ladies night up in the kudzu. I wouldn't trade anything for the time I spent up there bonding with my BFFs and watching the world go by. It was an integral part of the single life that I'm glad got put behind when it did. One can only take so much bad karyokee before deciding to stay at home and play in the yard or cook. The only other bar I've had the guts to walk into alone is a mile to the south of me and one of the owners is a nurse that I work with. In both places I know that somebody always has my back.

The big chill hit us yesterday and it was one of those days that look the same from dark to dark with gray clouds hovering and cold rain falling. There was a little thunder and lightning to start with, then the ugly day. I guess if I were an optimist I'd look at it as a good opportunity to make chili or something.

Please help me keep the faith. Catch you on the flip side ^j^

Monday, October 17, 2011

men are from mars

Yep, I read the book, know all about the cave and how to honor that most holy of times in which guys lay around and meditate on the meaning of life, all the while declaring that women are nags and too much trouble while they scratch their balls. I get it, umkay? And have at it, by the way. I value my alone time just like you do and if I had balls, I'd sure be scratching 'em right now. Just saying.

While I adore listening to you go onandonandonandon about your workday and old girlfriends, please have the courtesy to listen to my babble on occasion because it's what (sometimes) pays the bills and therapy is expensive. Dinner on us was a nice thing to come home to at the "shelter" where we welcomed your kids and grandchildren. When your dad died, I knew how crazy things would be but I never dreamed that you would go back. In many ways, I understand. Your entire family is grieving his death, and as the oldest son you took it like a man realizing the implications. I guess I just never figured that doing the work in the middle of this asylum would be so difficult for you.

You have helped me to learn, once again, the lessons that my father taught me about the miracle of farming and how that vocation has changed over the years. I can just picture your skinny little ass driving a tractor up onto the ferry at Heloise to float over and work in Missouri. Sam and Oscar are outside scruffing around like the boys that they are, and Faith is napping on the couch behind me. Lauren tripped over the little ones today and crashed into the living room window. No major damage, just a bunch of bloody broken glass and hurt pride. She's one of your biggest fans, by the way. But when push comes to shove? If mama ain't happy......

Ball's in your court dude. My plate is so full I can't deal with what's on it from one day to the next Years ago, when the kindly angry bitch therapist kicked my ass on a regular basis, I vowed to never again settle. That's what mama always said about how I do when somebody shows me some attention and I reckon she would know. After all, she raised me.

^j^

Sunday, October 16, 2011

sins of omission

I am a very trusting person, particularly with people who have never given me reason not to be. Such was the case with my most recent ex-roommate. Four years out of a divorce where the wife dumped him for somebody thirty years younger, we hooked up and he seemed to be past the worst of it. I had been single for ten and knew damn well not to even attempt anything approaching a relationship with a newbie. Transition woman was not much of a keeper, so he moved on to a single life in his parents home after they went to assisted living. His daughter and boys called it home base. He can see the place where he grew up every morning and evening, just like I can. Only his place is really FLAT. Following the May flood, he and everybody else close to river packed up and hauled ass to higher ground. For a long time! The water stood for a week, four feet into the homestead which had been moved from somewhere else in the flats.

He came to the lane with half of everything he owned stashed into the nooks and crannies of his truck and became a part of the family, now three people, three dogs and one cat. Hmm. One bed in the whole place. BG sleeps on a couch and the dogs sleep with me until they get kicked out. I don't think that will be happening anymore because of some broken trust. I am hurt beyond belief...and mad at my stupid ass self for taking a chance on somebody who obviously doesn't know what they want. But I am also very very mad, and the f word is spewing forth several times already here on the Lord's day. That, is a very good thing..it's better to be mad than to cry, unless you cry when you're mad...like I do!

I have never been chosen by a man as "the one". It's always some freak kind of thing where paths cross and we spend some time together and then they move onto somebody else because I was just "too good" to them. That's the way I roll. Take it or leave it. If you think I'm assertive now, you would have just DIED to see what a freaky little co-dependent I used to be. I'm talkin' everything had to match and stuff. My poor husband was the one who took the brunt of that before I finally discovered the joys of Prozac. I don't pretend to understand the male brain but I figure it can be pretty simply satisfied whereas women require a bit more communication to understand where they stand. Like the truth: I love you as a friend, but...."

Compared to most women, I am very low maint. I do yard work and generally entertain myself most of the time because I know who I am and what makes me happy. I love tapping on the keyboard with a candle glowing, pouring out all angst and watching me myself and I come to the conclusion that there is absoloutely nothing I can do about it, period. Big E is the one in charge. Hello step one!

After twenty four years of living on this hill, I know the landscape by memory and know that the beauty that I surrounded myself is still there, even when my eyesight goes. My parents discussed, as usual, the fact that church attendance is dwindling in the old UMC where they faithfully tromp up the aisle every Sunday. Mom was wishing she could still help with stuff and Daddy was just concentrating on eggs, toast and bacon in that order. With two chocolate doughnuts for the ride home. Some things never change.

The cotton pickin' went on WAY past dark last night and is almost a wrap. It's really cool to see the equipment at work with lights on. All of the tarps are bright pink, as if in honor of breast cancer awareness month :) Somebody with paint marks the bales by numbers and off they go to who-knows-where. Hopefully to give somebody in this country a chance at a job?

Today is the birthday of one of Mr. Billy Y's kids, Laura. He's the one who said "Always leave room for the spirit to work." I will sir, in your honor.

^j^

Friday, October 14, 2011

the queen of hyperbole

This has been the kind of week where at any given moment I would stop and wonder....what day is it? How much longer until there is the freedom to let go and breathe deep???? Well Friday is here ya'll and don't let the door slap you on the butt heading out from the sawmill. I even got to leave EARLY on a Friday! Thanks guys...I'll pay you back in kind :)

We got a good soaking rain night before last and it really perked up the pots of pansies out back. There is nothing that makes me smile quicker than a pile of puppies or a big pot stuffed with pansies. The cotton picking continues now that it's dry, and soon the landscape will be brown again ready for the winter snows to blanket the rows of this year's crop. To be a farmer is to believe that the circle is unbroken and that whatever dies and leaves seed will return and multiply. Great faith lesson, ya know? Go on..kiss a farmer!

I am so totally sad that I missed not only Woodstock (since I was only 14) and now the rabble rousing on Wall Street. I double dog DARE anyone who is considering a political future to come out against this funky group. They have a right to their beliefs and are peaceful. Plus a whole helluva lot more people feel the same way but can't leave their jobs to rally. Just sayin' kids. There is a time and place for everything, and if you truly want change, turn in your inheritance and do something good with it. Otherwise, live like the rest of us...check to check. Sometimes. Barely. With overdraft fees.

Wall Street and the banking industry have thrived during the times that most of us were hard at work pursuing the American dream. My husband and I, together, grossed 80K per year and had new vehicles to haul our baby girl around and get us to work so we could pay...well, you get the picture. Following our divorce and remarriage, we filed a Chapter 7 BK and were relieved, by a federal judge, of 30 thousand bucks in credit card debt. That was in 1995 and my life changed forever. From that point on, I decided that anything I couldn't afford to pay for, I didn't need. My goal is to eventually live on what I make and manage to save a few bucks. We'll see how that goes in 2012. Predatory lending is an ugly beast, and the thing that really brought us all to ours knees. While all us schmucks were trying to figure out what happened to our "guaranteed" retirement, the big boys were sunning on a beach somewhere having drinks with little umbrellas. As Bon QuiQui would say: "Ruuude".

More family drama which I shall not bore you with but just to say that everybody needs to chill out and work together. Please. We have two very sweet old people who depend on us to keep them in their home until somebody's not able or the creek rises, whichever comes first. One of my high school classmates is hospitalized with leukemia and is receiving treatment in preparation for a bone marrow transplant. Shout out to Chuck Walden and his walking warriors with flashlights. Candles burn out too quick, ya know ;)

And that. Is what I know right now. More later ^j^

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

all in a day's work

My job, and two peoples' vacations required that I go back to a part-time gig that I gave up years ago from sheer frustration with the whole end-of-life caregiving experience. There is nothing like oncology or radiology to say "profit driven" when speaking in terms of healthcare choices. Some cases, with a reasonable amount of luck and some divine intervention, will respond. Many times when the elderly are patients, they don't even know what's really going on. They just know "the doctor said."

I have read Dr. Ira Byock's book, in which he details his father's diagnosis with pancreatic cancer and his struggles as a good son and physician to keep it all straight. Or attempt to, anyway. Death is inevitable. Had I been born a few years earlier my life expectancy would still be late seventies. I look at my parents and their physical limitations and wonder at the sheer will to live involved to keep some sense or normalcy in their strange little world. She is blind and walks with assistance.....he's just plum freakin' OUT there most of the time with his OCD tantrums. I look into her eyes sometimes as they stare straight ahead and remember all of the things that she has seen. And I understand, every now and then, why it has to be that way.

Faith has taken up with mama which is a good thing in all our books. BG gets her to talking and mama just giggles like a kid while Faith is workin' up to a treat. What's really ironic is that she hid the tatoo (that said FAITH) from mama forever, covering it with a bandage for job interviews and letting it show in the bars while throwing darts or bending over a pool table. Hmm..like mother like daughter like daughter. Just kidding, Mom.

I spoke with an old acquaintance today about a conversation between a mutual friend about what he has accomplished as a seasoned veteran of law enforcement. He beamed as I repeated the words from this down and out street kid who sat on my porch the other day and told me all about HIS god and what's right in the world. It ain't about the money. Or the power. Or a bad hair day. It's about living life one day at a time, as if it's your last.

^j^

Monday, October 10, 2011

Saturday, October 8, 2011

beatin' a dead horse

As my late friend George used to say "Oh, boy!" My morbid fascination with the (all bad) news led to the discovery that the feds are ramping up to raid all of the medicinal marijuana shops in California, which is legal in THAT state, among others. Now, I totally understand that state governments don't have the cash borrowing power that the US government does, but mine, at least, has done a very good job on the local state levels to begin eradication of the most horrid of all drugs, meth. Feds can't deal with that because they're too busy chasing illegals and pot smokers. Nor should they. To me, this is a total waste of our money on something that will always be there and creates a terrific stream of violence because of its' prohibition and the underground trade. Millions of dollars in tax revenues for medicinal and personal use of weed could be plopped into the treasury. But bound for us...playing Big Ike and putting even more hours on the DEA payroll. Come on people! No wonder everybody's getting all riled up and staging protests. But then, some folks just never learn from history. Wonder how the country would go if just one state seceded? All of that is just to say this: Pick your battles wisely or you lose before you ever start.

It's still quite warm here with cool nights that require central AC to filter out the cotton and whatnot. As usual, we're in the middle of a long dry spell that will end with a rain that never ceases. We were one short at the sawmill today but thanks to Big Ernie there was a good crew in ER and we weren't that busy. My co-worker and I were discussing family dysfunction this morning and she brought up my grandmother's lost fortune, a nice little chunk that was left to her when my grandfather died at 45. There were three children, two older girls and a baby boy. By the time my grandma died, my mother and aunt had to pay for the funeral because there was nothing left of that vast fortune due to babyboy's love of alcohol and drugs. And no...pot was not the problem. He was big time hooked on Qualuudes and the other powerful prescription drugs of the sixties and seventies and he died at the age of 36 on my watch at the hospital. Not.Pretty. I remember watching his two little girls at the cemetery wondering how their lives would be affected by this tragic waste.

Corporate swung by yesterday afternoon while I was out chopping limbs so that was a good impression :) We are discussing the history of the farm and trying to piece it together for a book but there's a gap in the ownership history that we must track down. This community was once a thriving residential place next to the busy river. My ex husband's grandfather was murdered in a bar set right next to the banks, hidden in a cotton field. You can't make that shit up!

I'm outta here to enjoy the sunshine. Peace out kids ^j^

Friday, October 7, 2011

and so it goes.....

It's been an interesting two weeks around here on the hill what with no 'puter to play with. Following an intense thunderstorm that knocked out the electricity for a couple of hours, I found to my dismay that my *beloved* old Dell desktop refused to even boot up. My friend looked at it and pronounced the mother board "fried" and when I put another tower to the whole thing, the modem was fried as well. Hmmm. ATT gladly sent me a new one for a mere 75 bucks in ten installments, so there you go. Some things are just a necessary part of life, especially when one roommate is job hunting.

Yesterday was "take your parents everywhere" day and we managed to get groceries, hair done, bank run and flu shots all by noon. Corporate is here to view the cotton pickin' which is well underway right across the lane. It is an amazing process to watch, especially considering the fact that most folks my age can remember picking it by hand with a sack on their shoulder. My BF's mother picked cotton the day he was born almost 56 years ago! What a woman.

The world is still crazy in spite of my hibernation from reality so I think I'll just stay there for awhile. It beats getting mad because some people are so damn stupid and prejudiced. My friend Drew sent me a quote from Steve Jobs which really grabbed me where I'm at these days...emotionally and physically. Every day passes by when I manage to hold onto my "inner voice" I give thanks, because that is the only way to grow and learn. When it all seems impossible, there is a path into the light.

The political scene is getting uglier by the day, and I blame both parties and the MSM. We, as a country, are struggling to survive in the worst economic times since the great depression. It did not happen overnight, rather in bits and pieces over the years of corporate greed and lack of oversight by the powers that be on every level. It's out of my hands, so I just pinch pennies and pray. At least I've got a job, even if it is the same old one I've had for 34 years.

You might be a redneck....if there's a freezer sitting on the back porch waiting to be moved. That is so typical of the way we do things around here. One day I just got tired of the thing and shoved it out the back door where it still sits. The entire house is covered with stacks of clothes and boxes and the dogs will lay on most anything other than the floor so there's plenty of hair on everything. Such is my life.

Keep the faith ya'll. It's the only way to be ^j^