Saturday, February 28, 2015

babyman turns two!

Jordan Owens aka #babyman and Boogs will be two years old tomorrow and he celebrated today with a room full of toys, food and loved ones. He had been there about ten minutes when he ran smack into the edge of a table and got a black eye. Five minutes later he was full force again. That's the wonder of being a get back up and try again. Sometimes you learn how not to fall but usually it happens in a way you just never recognized before. With age, comes wisdom. I wasn't vertical for very long yesterday and didn't move until the alarm went off this morning for work. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine using a day off just to sleep. It seems like a waste, but then the body knows what's up. I've been fighting a cold for a couple of weeks and trying not to develop pneumonia. Cough that crap up man! I can tell that pretty soon I'll be among the vapors set. Thankfully, Money Mike sells those too, right down the street from the sawmill. I believe he got a beer license as well.

The wheels in my head are turning in such a way that I'm bound to have a stroke of genius sometime soon with my "brand" and whatnot. I was all excited about sixties next week and it won't even make 50 PLUS there's more freakin' snow behind it and 12 degrees. No comment because Mama said that thing about if you can't say something nice. She is consulting with Lori about visiting the SS dinner tomorrow after church. She has missed them and they her. Even the girls at eggs and doughnuts ask about her. Every time I drive by the home where Granny is I think about her lost up in there dreaming about happy things like parties and pianos. It is from her that I inherited my alto voice though she can go either way. We sang together many a time, with Daddy on tenor and Mama just humming along making a joyful noise.

I am quite disappointed about the state of the world right now. Global policy is being played out by the MSM like a weekly episode of some crime show or superhero war. World stability has gotten a bit more fragile and the seas are already beginning to rise a few cm. Global warming and outsourcing of labor are two of the biggest atrocities of our day. It's like "okay, we got busted in the US for doing that shit so we'll just move the whole thing to India!" Slave labor keeps the wheels turning even in the good old US. Thank you Walton's and whomever else for putting in the two bucks. Now if you'll give fulltime hours? You've got a win-win deal. Anybody who has to work more than one minimum wage job just to survive is spinning their wheels right now.

I read a strange piece today about a football player whose family was murdered by a gang member many years ago. I am very much anti-death penalty and noticed that he wasn't. His search for peace from a thug included seeing that thug die for what he did and a large part of me understands that. I'm a peaceful person by nature but if you mess with me at the wrong time I can smooth go all out crazy bitch. I try to reserve that for important things like "leave me alone" Anyway, this sheet of ice should be melted before the snow comes which could be pretty if it's all snow but if it's more ice? Somebody just shoot me.


Friday, February 27, 2015

the pipeline

Once upon a time before the local Best Western closed I attended a seminar there which promised to teach me how to buy/sell/trade online. At that time EBay was the primary portal for sales whereas opportunities are springing up every which a way currently. These slick presenters followed their power point slides with a limited time reduced fee offer for them to manage your life on the internet. Now this was pre-FB, mind you and options were limited but the cash just was not there for a start-up company so here I am still trying to figure out a marketing strategy. There's the photography piece and the story telling part and the cooking and humor and everything that I play with just to feel like all is not lost to the wingnuts. I've never been really good at channeling success.

So now it seems that my blog feed is wonky because without FB (the lazy man's reader) nobody cares about what's up at Pecan Lane. I seriously figure this is where Zuck starts charging us to post dinner pictures. As for the dress, it's purple and green if you want it to be. It's a nice distraction from IS be-headings and Republican dumbassery. I'm off today and still in my jammies, not likely to change until bedtime with clean ones. It's still only in the 20s(barely) and the wind is sharp. Snow and ice patches persist almost two weeks after the latest big one. That's normal though, right? It does seem more seasonal to me than having every jonquil in the yard past bloom on March 1st. The quince that usually blooms in February is still holding tight to the buds just waiting for a few warm glorious days above freezing. The Forked Deer is flooded and frozen almost up to the bottom of our lane which will turn into a spring flood for sure when the upper Mississippi thaws. Other than that, I've got nothing. Daddy's visit to the neuro was uneventful except for the addition of 50 mg of Seroquel which should help a bit but won't be an answer to the whole situation. There's been a dirt moving machine parked across from the house for about six months that just got cranked up out of the blue. Gotta' go check that out! You never know where Sugardaddy is going to pop up.


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

warrior style

You know when you're all sick and tired and the weather is like YUCK and gray every day? And when there's dirty snow which is nowhere near as beautiful as the fresh fallen variety? The past ten days have been spent navigating the road to work and back with little, if any, stopping on either way. It's just been too damn cold and nasty. Plus, I've been sick for a week and I'm smooth gonna' kill whatever kid gave it to me...or their mama. Or both! As a front line provider I see everything from bags of blood to snotty noses. It's what you call a "generalist" which means you're a pretty valuable player because you can multitask and all that stuff. Corporate loves it! Anyway, generalist by their multi-tasking nature don't like idle time so they specialize in something and take on responsibility. I did that with our transfusion service about 30 years ago and never looked back. Providing safe blood and blood products to patients is something that most take for granted until there's a now. Bad weather has kept people off work and at home which hurts mobile drives that feed our local supply. Icy roads? No buses running, or couriers either. We have a disaster plan with them just like with everything else that is healthcare. That mobile unit will be at the sawmill tomorrow accepting donors and giving out t-shirts so y'all come on down and help a girl out. I mean gah!

The worst thing about winter to me is the dry eyes from forced heat. I can't wait to throw open the windows try to open them with a screwdriver and hammer for the spring. It's cool enough for about six weeks with an occasional hot day, just to air the house out and let winter into the atmosphere back up to that global warming place in the ozone. I am sarcastic now about the whole thing because I can see that we're screwed when the majority of Americans and IN FACT leading countries of the world, are so enamored with wealth while people suffer and die needlessly. You have to start small and right now I'm planning a straw bale garden. It will be small but I will baby that bitch until I grow something wonderful and always be mindful of how to survive on nothing but carrots. It beats the hell out of bugs.

American Idol and Voice and all the NCIS's are all winding up and I don't even know who's on what show. That means that I miss out on a lot of conversations at work and end up scrolling through my phone or wondering what the grands are up to. Yesterday my brother and I walked the newly refinished hardwood floors at the dead end house. Each room features a different type of wood that was covered for years with carpet and vinyl thus protected well. Ten days and a reasonable price later they are to.die.for. PLUS! I get the scraps to frame with. How sweet is that? I told Bubba I'd be finding me a sugardaddy to pay for that to be mine. The sun sets over a mound in the middle of a slough that is a haven for wildlife. Two fireplaces, three bedrooms and a lot of shiny hardwood. I watched the shadows play outside the master bedroom and knew that it would be a fine place to spend your final days no matter who you are. Since the house was built in 1918ish, only very wealthy people could afford those kind of floors. And the money just trickles on down. BF flew yesterday with some gas money which is greatly appreciated around here. Of course we all know propane guy would have just put it on my tab but to have it paid for is a miracle of heavenly proportions. Her mama is sick again which always pains me because she's a bridge club buddy of my very own mama and has a spirit that won't quit. Oddly enough, her sister and husband are high school classmates.

So, it's still winter and Israel is playing Big Ike with the GOP. What else is new? Lady Gaga really can sing really well but I doubt what's his name will ever respect her as an artist. So far James Taylor and a BeeGee or two are still alive but Elvis is dead as a doornail and Paul McCartney ain't looking so good. Jon Stewart is almost gone but Larry is pretty funny and Colbert has a beard so all is not lost. If all else fails, watch Stewie and laugh. I spent the entire winter of '14 watching House of Cards and Nurse Jackie. It can be done if the spirit is willing to be out of contract.

Baby steps............

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

small victories

As it stands, my daddy has an appointment with a second opinion as to his mental health this week. We shall see if the universe intends for him to have more OCD medication or for my mama to just continue to wither on the vine down there. He's a very obedient type when it comes to doctors. Jimmy Noonan put him on a low triglyceride diet when he was fifty something so he went to yogurt instead of ice cream for dessert. He's still 82 and healthy as a horse except for the occasional running Stafford fit and that pesky remote habit. Mom, on the other hand, is about blind and has her wheely-whirly moments but lord, who wouldn't with all that micromanaging drama 24/7. I can barely take it 8 hours a day!

So it's still cold and there's a lot of ice everywhere and that can of fix-a-flat has come in quite handy this past week what with me getting to work and able to hunt and gather food at the various stores that are nearby like the Dollar Gentral. Plus! There's this. The big house down the road has been redone and looks like a million bucks only there's no toilet yet so you have to pee in the slough out back. I have been blessed with the wood that is left over from some mighty fine craftsmanship and it will go to good use preserving the history of Pecan Lane. I'm sure that somewhere down the road there will be a museum.

I read somewhere that IS (short for ISIS) has kidnapped a whole bunch of folks again which just really sucks but what do you do? If you're a proud 'merkan you don't sacrifice your youth to a war that has always been thus and so. I'm so mad at the conservatives about the immigration/HS deal I could spit but in the end? It will be what it is. Let's just put everybody in a camp like we did in the 40's umkay? That way it'll be OBAMA's fault. I daresay middle ground is looking better all the time, with transparency of course. Homeland Security funding is being held hostage by the GOP Boehner and McConnell.

Let us pray ^j^

Monday, February 23, 2015

who am i ?

I'm not a Christian music purist by any means but Casting Crowns haunting ballad always makes me feel humble and safe. If only we could all just stay in that mindset, you know? Another of my favorites is All is Well by Michael W. My UMC raising didn't have a whole lot of contemporary in the mix. We sang hymns (in order, of course) with a piano and or organ but preferably both. There was always a choir directed by some musical genius who felt that God called him or her to draw a salary for talent sharing. The senior pastor made around 90K and the associate half that. The youth program was just parents until we hired our very first director at about 25K. This was the kid who took me and BG home one day after church because I locked my keys in the car.'s what you do for the brethren. He later became another minister at another church and has ended up for the time being in Tipton County with beautiful kids and a great message. It's an unbroken circle, I'm telling you! My heroes of spirituality run the gamut from Larry Tubb to Susan Sharpe with a lot of others woven in-between the years and conferences. My dear friend the Little General converted switched to the UMC as her home away from Quaker home. That's just 15 miles down the road, due south.

One of the biggest problems I have had with the church proper is their refusal to recognize gay marriage or even entertain the thought of being a bit more tolerant. I can still remember the news clips from all those gays jumping off the pews at the big general conference. Jesus wouldn't like that...not one bit. To me church is worship...a living breathing conscious effort to do the next right thing rather than putting self first. It is only through giving that we receive, and all that. It's kind of sad how so much of our government in caught up in the money and who can have a nicer house in the Hamptons when the whole damn thing is gonna' wash away to England. Or Cuba, by gawd.

Every soul deserves a hug no matter what, no matter when with no strings attached. At this point in time it's absolutely vital for survival since GLOBAL WARMING IS A HOAX!!!! I've noticed a marked absence of ISIS videos which can only mean that Obama's done something right for a change. For all of you folks who are not sure that the GOP has a viable candidate, just look at how their long list has been shortened already. Sorry Jeb...keep the faith ^Y^

Sunday, February 22, 2015

fast forward

One week ago today Daddy and I were sitting at eggs and doughnuts listening to the weather forecast that turned out to something that's still on my lane. I had already fixed the flat tire and was waiting to hear from heat and plumber. BG and Boogs had bundled up and run for the hills a warm place. Early this morning I got a text from a co-worker who thought I was expecting him saying that he got stuck in front of his house...get there when I can. I barely remember the ding from that one so when he sent another saying he was on his way I figured I better let the sawmill know he wasn't in a ditch somewhere. I slept for 14 hours last night and feel kinda' sorta' human again. The sheer amount of energy involved in navigating a storm wears a body out in more ways than one. Somehow I managed to keep from falling on the ice all week, always mindful of that torn subscapularis that hurt like a mofo. Poor Lori has been laid up sick all week with two kids and stuck in the country. She came to stay with Mama this morning and promptly fell on her ass on the ice throwing tea every which a way.

When the thaw/monsoon started yesterday all kinds of ice chunks started flying and a lot of them went into drains causing a huge flooding problem for many local businesses. My lane is still covered in ice and will remain that way because it's now cold again. *sigh* Next weekend marks the first of March which is normally when we see green around here. I'm not counting on it this year either because hey...I'm a realist. My straw bales are sitting there all snow covered just dreaming about being home to big huge tomato plants. It will happen, it's just a matter of when.

Since I've slept all weekend there's been no TV except for SNL's 40th again which I loved. I'm glad we have it recorded so that when they cut me off again I'll have something to watch besides Ridiculousness. I'm hearing that Fleetwood Mac is about to start their final tour which makes me feel both really OLD and really grateful that I've been privy to their kind of musical genius. I have never seen them live, but have seen a lot of others over he years beginning with Led Zeppelin at the Coliseum when I was about 14. My poor mother carted us all the way to Memphis and I stepped out of my shoes on the way from the vehicle. Yes, a true rebel. As an adult we went to see Huey Lewis and the News and Robert Cray and I believe that was my last visit. Auditorium North Hall was where I sat in the balcony and jammed with the Allman Brothers.

I saw many others at the Coliseum including Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, Elton John, Jimi Hendrix, and some I can't remember. The venue sits empty now, thrown aside for the new and improved FedEx Forum with high dollar prices. Once upon a time there were plans for a giant pyramid arena for sports and music that sat on the banks of the Big Muddy. It went belly up prior to FedEX and just recently got unloaded by whomever held the note. Sidney had a dream, and it didn't take so it must not have been in the cards. Mud Island is also a really cool place for concerts when the weather is right meaning spring or fall. Otherwise it's hot as hell and rain or shine. I saw JT again there (in the rain) along with Hootie and the Blowfish and a couple more. The hottest new venue is Memphis Botanical Gardens which has a nice set list of performers until the August heat of Memphis sets in. The Overton Shell has been renovated and sees steady attendance. I saw Target there many moons ago.

And then there's Memphis in May. I've never been to this event but BG has and, once again, you pray for no rain at times like this. She happened to be there in the mud and lost one of her companions in the huge crowd. I remember when one of her friends' brother got lost and just climbed up on top of the car until the sun came up. They found him sometime the next day! I guess that kind of adventure just crosses generations. There's a big international BBQ cooking contest and a different country is featured for each week long festival. Beale Street still thrives, a tribute to the blues that started the career of many a Southerner, including Elvis who is STILL in the building...the Coliseum, that is.

Peace~Love~Rock Salt

Saturday, February 21, 2015

lord willing, if the creek doesn't rise

As predicted, the heavy rains began during the night and now Pecan Lane is covered with ice plus about two inches of standing water until you hit the hill. Runoff from the top always ends up there at the bottom which is why my lug nuts get rusted onto the Camry tires. If I had a buck for every time I've driven through it, I'd be retired now. As it is, I'm far from retirement because there is no "other half" of the bills. As a firm believer in manifestation I'm calling out to the universe for an exit strategy from this life of barely getting by and constantly being stressed to the limit. This will happen, it's just a matter of how and when. Sophie is sitting on the porch watching it rain and puzzled about the whole ice/snow/melt deal. They obviously don't understand global warming any better than the conservatives.

We are sheltered in place with all necessities at hand. If Shannah can get through the flood with BabyMan he will be spending some time watching movies and getting pampered tonight. We could make cookies and read books! I'm still pretty wore out what with the big viral hit on my lungs and head. I won't bore you with the details of mucous color but it ain't pretty. Several friends have been through harrowing times this week. My lifecoach in Chicago lost her beloved JavaBeans today and Marfie had her mama placed in a safe haven. Maybe that can happen here soon, you think? Lord willing. I'm about to be overcome from bleach fumes because a day like this just begs to get the house clean. I will sure send out a tweet if there's a fatality.

Don't stop believing.

Friday, February 20, 2015

the 8th wonder(s)

Right now they are Mich Ultra, coconut oil (organic,always) and the fact that I made it through this week without falling on my ass or running into something. I know Yanks..I'm a woos. I guess our southern state governments better start penciling "global warming" into the budget. Ryder seems like she might be with child and of course we all know who babies' daddy is. Remember Chester? We were praying it wouldn't take but she's putting on weight and hanging low. She's our beautiful but stupid daughter of Faith who was sired by a Great Dane named Luke. Only a real dog lover knows the names in that family tree. Faith was just one of those out of the blue miracles who crawled up out of a ditch behind Big Mama at Rhonda's house. Story had it that the crackhead across the road was planning on selling the whole bunch and we got lucky when they escaped. I just let the pups in and heard the clattering of freezing rain or some other some such perfect ending to our week of winter. It should change to rain in the morning as the temp rises and then we'll have a hide and watch.

Things have been pretty smooth at Casa Grands even without Ms Faye's daily presence this week. Daddy's geriatric specialist says that he won't increase the calming meds without a neuro consult and even after a call from the sweet as pie nurse, he said no and hung up on her. I told her he does that to everybody and she understood. I have a hard time visualizing the line between being a good daughter v healthcare provider in more than one way. I realize that they're old and want to stay at home, as I would. But here's the thing..he's got a type of dementia that requires a total domination of what has been "his" place for 59 years. They live in that log cabin we call home because of a gentleman's agreement with corporate. I, on the other hand, pay rent on a hundred year old farmhouse that has had no improvements over a 26 year span other than expensive floors and a new porch. Not even paint unless I did the labor.

There is vinyl siding which has never been pressure washed and a full basement and attic that are mostly empty now with most of it sitting hither and yon on the main level. My room is clean and that helps me rest better. The office is cluttered but organized and I'm on a roll outta' here to the next chapter which will probably involve a beach somewhere. To hell with snow and ice.

Peace out~

Thursday, February 19, 2015

lenten thoughts

Do you ever wonder what you would say if you had the chance to that person who holds your power? It doesn't really matter at this point who it is because we all answer to others for our actions. I was almost 40 years old before I accepted that I am not my mother and don't need her approval. At about that time my Daddy told me to go to hell in front of a group of friends and the break was made with him making me feel stupid. I'm far from stupid and pretty damned smart in a let's sit back and see what happens way. As a recovering co-dependent it is a daily challenge to not dive into somebody's drama and try to fix it. I found many years ago that boundaries are the only way to keep yourself healthy enough to be one bit of good to those who need you, much less find some personal joy.

There is this certain type of personality that tends to make everything about THEM no matter what the subject at hand and you know the type. Woe be unto you if that individual goes on an OCD rampage and decides that nothing is enough plus happens to be in a power position. Many parents are like that with their kids, organizing their lives with play dates and "activities" instead of just letting them play. Sadly, I was one of those parents at one time and for that I am not the least bit proud. Let's just say karma has paid me back one hundred fold in other areas of my life. Live and learn.

So here's what I would say to that person...the demander of perfection. By asking for more than what one is comfortable with and micromanaging the world, you are killing at a time. Your personal standards reflect who you are as a child of God and expecting others to conform will never happen unless a few rowdies give up their boundaries and their souls. I've done it a million times and it's no way to live. My spirit comes from a good and kind place where Big Ernie wants us to be happy. That's what the whole Jesus thing is about, right? The way I see it there's about to be a shitstorm of godly anger over the whole money and power thing that our world is struggling with currently experiencing, most especially in the US. I don't give a damn about ISIS. And thank you very much IRS for not charging interest and penalties on my audit. I love you more!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

cold as ice

I'm not going to complain about our one week of real winter when the entire rest of the country is suffering too. I was blessed enough to get heat and water for the duration and that's all it takes to put me in humble mode. I'm sitting here texting Lori to see if she can do a little recon down at the grands' because they've been snowed in since Monday. It's times like these when the things that we take for granted are suddenly a big deal. An old friend whose family is ill stopped by to visit today and shared that things seemed to be looking up at the sawmill which I saw as a huge booyah for the team. That's why we all strive to be the cream of the crop.

BG is now an ex-employee of the BBQ pit (and grill) so she's in high gear cleaning and doing laundry plus cooking dinner for us....the washer is spinning as we speak! Looking for a decent job in this town is like selling your soul to the devil for a paycheck so I figure she's gonna' be gone to NashVegas soon and I probably won't be far behind. Don't own? Can't defend. Middle class? Can never own. It just is what it is and it's an unfortunate truth about this particular day and time. What I see happening in this country (and others) is a worship to the golden idols of wealth with those in the upper class running their game on the rest of us via the two party system. OCCUPY was and is more than a bunch of smelly kids camping out and ruining the beauty of taxpayer funded parks. I mean good reminds me of The Truman SHOW with evil Ed Harris as director. Can nobody think for themselves anymore?

No video from ISIS is a "good thing" so there's that but it won't last. These idiots are a whole different brand of mental illness that reminds me of the Batman killer and others who have gone down in a blaze of glory (or not.) Perhaps some day mental health will be treated as the specialty that it is and not masked with drugs produced by big pharma. Everybody needs talk therapy with a trained professional at one point and to tie that to insurance and a job is shooting yourself in the foot. Trauma is the root cause of PTSD and everybody has had plenty, if you know what I mean. It is only through experiencing the past by putting it into words that we are able to let it go and move to a safer place.All in all, I have put impatience aside just as my Fairy Blogmother has done, for Lent. Now pardon me while I search for something sacred to get ashed with.

Monday, February 16, 2015

ice ice baby

Well I made it through day one of our artic chillfest without putting the trusty old Camry in the ditch. Ordinarily I'd be trying for a new one but it's only worth about a thousand bucks. Maybe a few more with hubcaps! I sat in the parking lot at church yesterday and watched as two very wealthy friends of mine drove in and and embark from luxury vehicles on their way to worship. I have no problem with that and I realize that they both do very good things for others with their money. I just have to wonder if the least of these are among them. I have no money to give but I help whenever and however I can and that counts. While they serve as pillars of the community, I wander the streets and say "hey y'all..'sup."

So yesterday sucked on MANY levels and I put out a FB post detailing what was about to go down which was Casa Poops for a week or more. The water ordinarily wouldn't have frozen in the 20s but when the propane ran out the house got cold and there ya' go. I had lost propane guy's landline (where wifey answers) and actually called the local law enforcement to get them to look it up. He was already out delivering getting folks warmed up for the coming days. He got to my house about 3pM and it was toasty soon after. Then plumber guy came with his sidekick and they ran a bigass torch in the basement and insulated the pump. ON A SUNDAY in the cold. Now I don't know about you folks, but that's the kind of friends you know are true. Topping things off in the blessings department, all services are paid for by corporate and an anonymous donor. Let's call her BF, shall we?

I learned last year that it takes a minimum of 30 minutes to thaw out a car when there's an icestorm which we most certainly had. I don't know what happened to the snow but it wasn't much. It's pretty out here when snow is on the ground and even more so when I remember to feed the birds. The hill up our lane is tricky and if you don't make it all the way up, you might as well walk home. I stayed stuck there for two days last year. These are all things that Northern residents deal with 24/7 but for small town podunk Tennessee, it's a huge deal. Traffic was still just one lane this afternoon and moving slow. I was glad to get home with my goods from the gas and chicken store and settle down in the office. The water didn't come back on until ten PM and I was smooth out when I heard Lauren holler' "we've got WATER!" I damn near did a dance and enjoyed this morning's shower like nobody's business. Lucky for me she's in charge of TV recording and I have the entire SNL 40th anniversary thingie that I can skip commercials on. How sweet is that?

Sunday, February 15, 2015

green acres

I'm sure it was a lovely place but the perils of country living are constant during the winter. I went to bed right after the sun did not expecting the big temperature drop until mid-morning today so I was not so pleasantly surprised to wake up and find a)no propane, b)frozen pipes and c)a flat tire which one can of fix-a-flat crapped out on. The dollar general wasn't open yet so I sat in the parking lot in the Cadi waiting for the manager to open up and let me buy more. I also scooped up some deicer and a couple of scrapers because things look mighty bad for these parts during the next 24 hours. My parents are snug but will have nobody to look after them for the next few until Ms Faye can safely get out again. Lori lives 30 minutes away and I'll be at work. Lauren threw a bitchfit this morning over the whole thing while Booger screamed because it's so "hard to be him". Meanwhile, I'm making deals with the devil to get heat and water and transportation. We're over the madness now and have kicked into survival mode 'cuz that's what country girls do. There is a holey blanket hanging over the dining room door which takes the brunt of the northwest wind. I nailed it up in a fit of defiance toward old man winter that he thinks I'm that much of a wimp. Meanwhile, my friend Lorna sits in Lake county about to be buried in snow and also with no heat, just water. Her phone will be cut off tomorrow and there's no car so she is stranded. If I know her, she'll be lighting candles and calling to karma!

Mom and daddy had their 61st anniversary yesterday and I'm amazed to even think of a union that long. Their wedding picture got more "likes" than anything I've ever posted because everybody knows them and loves 'em to death. Daddy got pissed at the dollar store today when his card wouldn't work so he just paid with cash. It wasn't a pretty scene what with everybody scurrying for bread and milk. We ate our breakfasts in silence for the most part, turning now and then to crane our necks toward the TV carrying that superstorm our way. My brother is currently at minus something and he hates cold weather like I hate the heat. HOWEVER. Considering the past winter and this current one? Not.So.Much.

The last warm day we had I wandered around in the yard looking at whatever was brave enough to jump out and get frozen. Walking the yard is a ritual for me because I know where every flower grows and every pet is buried. It's something that daddy and I do together as he did with his own mother. I reckon that's how the farmer in him got born.

Stay warm and drive careful ^j^

Friday, February 13, 2015

preparing to live

When I became single again I did all the usual stupid shit like looking for men in the wrong places and for definitely the wrong reasons. I didn't realize that I had never been just "me" and not somebody's employee or daughter or wife. I reconnected with childhood friends and made new ones in the unlikeliest of places, always with one eye open for "the one." I've had several "ones" and not many of them are still friends except for the ones whose wives know me and realize I'm harmless because I hate drama. Prince Fred was my first experience with Nigerian con when he attempted to use me as a middle man for tax free purchasing. The UPS guys in Covington said he was selling BIBLES to the people there! At that point in time I was struggling to find something that I longed for but just wasn't sure about what it was. I spent a lot of time at one particular place during those days because nobody likes to drink alone and there's always somebody there that knows your name. My brother entered into a partnership that included a to-die-for venue live music wise and I made every step he did because I'm an aging groupie and love a good live show. I promoted the thing for him and saw it go from an establishment with potential to a BK burden for only him. Soon, he'll be out from under that and able to quit one of his jobs. He doesn't understand me and my scatter brained ways which are part girl and part tired as hell but he works with me and for that? I am grateful.

I just cussed the damned water tank while trying to get the Dolla' Gentral hose off so the mofo won't freeze . Daddy used to cover the edges with dirt but I'm a little late for that. North winds are scheduled to barrel down around lunch tomorrow and church on Sunday is a no-go even though Mama would really like to see everybody. There are not enough clothes in that house to bundle her up in plus I'd like to sleep in. Maybe around Easter, and then lunch at my house. I haven't given anything up for Lent except being negative.


Thursday, February 12, 2015

damned groundhog

We gotta' blame it on somebody and Obama's got more than his share of blame so I figure it's because the hog in PA saw his shadow, which mine did not. My cocky little self said "Self...winter is almost over." The key word here is almost because it is the middle of February and there's a snow predicted just in time for my trek to the sawmill on Monday. Anybody remember what happened the last time???? As a Girl Scout I should know to prepare and this time there will be window coverings and water drippings during the deep freeze. Plus slap some cardboard on that windshield! This is one thing I took for granted when my husband did it for me and I miss it but a carport would be nice too. Anyhow, chances are good that we'll get a few inches from whatever this monster is named. But global warming is a hoax..heh.

I've withdrawn from politics for now because I'm in mourning for JonS still even though he's not gone and never will be. His comedic talents allowed three generations of Americans to believe that all isn't lost if you can just laugh at the ridiculousness of it. While we allow the MSM to fill our minds with money driven projects, including the news, we will be fed according to what they choose for programming. I'll take an indie channel any day over Days of Our Lives and golf. Or Wheel of Fortune. That's Gurney's favorite. Besides...this whole IsraelvCongressvIran thing makes me nervous. Talk about the homeland security detail from HELL!

Needless to say the sick folk who took a break for a few days are back in full force but that's okay. It's too cold to do anything other than stay inside anyway but I did manage to haul some straw yesterday afternoon. If I don't have a garden, it won't be from not trying. When the zombies come around and you're stuck, food comes in handy. I can see it now: the back to back Forked Deer river floods were a sign of the end times and I'll be stuck here on a hill right by the airport. That will guarantee my safe flight to somewhere that's full of love and peace and potential sugardaddies. That's a far cry from the time I rode through the muddy water in the bed of a county work truck with Clara at the wheel.


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

the sky is falling

Adding insult to injury, we will soon be without Jon Stewart to make fun of the wingnuts and allow us to laugh at something as ridiculous as partisan politics. How sad is that? He has bravely and hilariously taken on both sides of the aisle for many years much to the delight of jaded folks like me. His fits of "really???" have echoed my own dismay at the state of our country and the world. Comedy Central will be empty without him, well except for all the other satirical pieces that make us laugh like Southpark and King of the Hill. Can I interest you in a career in propane???

The sun is out today and it's a bit warmer but won't last. Winter returns for Valentine's Day and my parents' 61st anniversary. Mom got me to order Daddy a new American flag (the old one looked like it had been at Iwo Jima) and a Murphy's Law desk calendar which is a tradition. We didn't order our usual Mary Engelbreit ones so I'm kind of missing that but life goes on. Budget..budget..budget! I have spent enough on her art to buy a retirement home in Fiji if I ever make it there. This past week I've been continuing the purge of old pics and whatnot, organizing as I go into folders loosely named. Then I go back and put names to them which is the fun part. Ultimately there will be a disc containing the best of my best for perusal by the local gallery owner and one for viewing at the kudzu bar reunion. I ran into TimmyD at our usual early morning spot and he said "go for it." More business for him, ya know!

Meanwhile ,back at the sawmill, we are close to being fully staffed which is something I will NEVER take for granted again. The failure of our great state government to implement InsureTN will surely have an effect on our bottom line which is a crying shame because hospitals have forever more put out gillions of dollars on charity care which is why YOUR bill, after insurance, is so high. It's all funny money and denying coverage for those who cannot afford it is just plain stupid when the #1 employer in your state is healthcare. Let's blame Blue Cross and be done with it! My employer subsidized health insurance is adequate but not good enough to keep me from paying a whole lot out of pocket. Thus, no pap smear in a long time (with a history of ASCUS) and no FNP visits. After a couple of weeks without meds my body got cleared out and I went back on 'em full force. Some things you just gotta' do. Speaking of which, y'all pray that BG finds another job because the asshats she works for are trying to kill her.

It's my day off so it's time to forget about reality and play. With faith ^j^

Sunday, February 8, 2015

in the desert

I often relate to all the different phases of what Jesus did like trudging through a no man's land alone and afraid and honestly just overwhelmed with the inhumanity of people. He spent his entire ministry trying to show folks how what he is about is not being the greatest and richest and most powerful but the least of these. Count your blessings. Follow the original 10 and remember them when temptation knocks. If you fall, it ain't forever...get back up and start over. Those who choose to languish in their hurt filled pasts only give more power to the evil. Move on and love life because that's why we were given it from God or Big Ernie or Buddha of whomever. Be inclusive because honestly? It's what J would do.

I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the flu and strep tunnel which means a lot less scurrying for us at the sawmill. Infectious disease wise this past month has been a bitch what with all those kids getting the measles at Disneyland. I hope somebody learned a lesson or two because if not we won't have to sorry about ISIS..we'll all be playing Hunger Games by the time they get here. There are certain rules and regs which are imperative for social order and infectious disease treatment is one of the biggest world problems at this moment. Hell, Ebola damn near put us into a tailspin. Add to that the news that Homeland Security is about to lay off about 30K due to lack of funding and we've got ourselves in a great big open border type situation. FEMA will take the brunt of it which means there won't be much flood and tornado relief coming down the mountain. You heard it here first, y'all. I try to believe in miracles but the stupid just burns.

I'm delighted to have my happy pills back after a hiatus from daily treatment which made me feel about 20 years older and unable to not be mad function in my little stress filled world. Thanks to the IRS and Patterson Brothers the Cadi is purring like a kitten. We had nothing but bread and peanut butter in the cupboard so I cruised by Kroger on the way home from work and did the deed. I'm one of those do a big swoop and get it all if I have the money kind of shoppers. That way I don't have to go back for a long time! We are building back up the staples that have been long gone during our recent "lean" times. Both of us are determined to get out of the unproductive hole we've been lounging in. Girl power...that's what's up! To quote some famous general: "I have seen the enemy and he is us." I agree with all my heart but I still keep the faith.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

in a nutshell

By my very own personal standards, the sawmill was pretty okay and I'm thankful for that because I'm wore ass out and it's only day 2 of 5. I was all excited about coming home to play outside and move straw bales to their resting place but the wind was too much and it is February after all. I know how to make compost tea now and also how to change the SRV on a hematology instrument because I've done it a few times. Same for changing the cuvette wheel and doing calibration on the hundreds of pieces of equipment we've used. It's what I do, plus sticking squalling babies and saying "bless your heart" to some frail old person with no family around to witness the madness. People simply do not understand that nobody lives forever and sometimes aggressive care is not the best answer if the patient is suffering or just says NO. Our national healthcare system is clogged to the gills with emergency rooms who have no history or warning about the sick and injured who will either catch a ride or be brought in by EMS. Since a redneck Republican committee of our great state senate shot down a chance for something different I'm still mad. I'm sure there are "reasons" that the governor threw this out to be devoured before people ever knew what was up. "Too much like Obamacare, my ass" she said.

This whole thing with Boehner and Israel is way out of hand and I'd say if either one of them wants to represent "the people" they should just remember who they are, and it certainly ain't Big Ernie. I feel bad about Bobbi Brown but not at all surprised considering the history up in that family. We have TV again and I'm looking forward to Better Call Saul because I know a bunch of lawyers just like him, and a few guys like Mike. It's always good to have them in the wings. Also I will be recording CBS Sunday Morning for the first time in forever because I love it. And SNL. Don't judge because I paid the giant mega broadcast company for a simple pleasure like 500 channels of which I watch maybe 10. QVC ain't my thing and the DVD player is about dead.


Friday, February 6, 2015

fresh darn skippy

My heroine of the entire Stephanie Plum adventure is Lula, bless her heart. Well, and Grandma Mazur too. There's something about a woman whose social life revolves around visitations! Thank you Claudia for introducing me to the joy that is one next adventure in Joisey. Oh....and Vinnie. Connie. Ranger. Joe. Whoever that kid is who thinks she's a horse. Girl I work with Connie's type all day long. That was back when getting put up in style was the rage. Now everybody looks as cremation as an option because it's cheaper more pocket friendly when the whole world economy is in a tailspin and it's all Obama's fault. I guess we better start stockpiling Walton plastic bottled water and cammo and attending AFP rallies. Oh, and burn more carbon why dontcha? When that committee comprised of narrow minded old school style GOP one uppedness squashed the "notion" of allowing federal money to be used for healthcare because ten years down the road it will be on the state's back, I don't care. I could be dead by then and none of it would matter except for the cremation or whatever KayKay and I decide on. Girl's got my back.

Not sure what's up with the rest of the world other than more ISIS posturing and a very sad looking Congress. I never go out for lunch but today I was determined not to make too many stops on the way home so I took some time off the clock to pay bills which is my new mantra. Of course nobody knows that 90% of federal tax returns have been received! So far everybody is off my back until the next wave hits, and I seriously hope I'm past all that. Mom seems to be maintaining fairly well and not crying much so there's that plus blessed Lori on Sunday mornings. That's when CBS shines, you know. I caved and got a refill on my happy pill today, one that I managed quite well without for a month but I felt like I was coming unglued so it's only four bucks on the Kroger value plan. So is Synthroid, for that matter. The albuterol inhalers are about 120 bucks first of the insurance year which is kind of ironic. Supposedly the whole reason for the gigantic price increase was to "protect the ozone". Right.

One of the treasures of getting old is that you just don't care what other people think as long as you present yourself with honorable intentions and treat them as equals. I try to do that and focus my communication with eye contact and relevant topics unless I'm in a rambling mood then all bets are off. Here's hoping that my sawmill weekend plus two days is not very busy because my arm hurts like hell. "They" say it takes a year to recover.


Thursday, February 5, 2015

not my circus

Well as many of you know our state senate stopped Insure TN in its' tracks yesterday in spite of a valiant effort by the governor to reign in the idiots. Yesterday is the past so I won't be fretting over it even though my job could very well be in jeopardy because of the stupidity of a bunch of Tennessee rednecks. Here's a news flash for all y'all up there in NashVegas. Voters can send you home just as quick as they got you there and many of them are looking at other options. And I'm certainly not talking about just me, you know? Everybody knows I'm a demolibtard and see healthcare, especially the preventive type, as a human right. My favorite FNP has abandoned her private practice to work for a chain type care facility where she no longer takes appointments but sees you behind the walk-ins so I'm shopping for a new one. UrgentTeam is the name, I believe. I have one day off every other week and need some refills. What is so hard about that?

That being said, I have a list a mile long of "things to do" on that one day. The sun wasn't even up when my eyes popped open, part from habit and also because I passed out at 8PM. My arm hurts again and I can probably bullet point the reasons for that but I won't whine because it doesn't become me. Neither does bitching about it. No snow here on the lane but it's mighty cold and a good day for indoor activities like cleaning up the nasty ass dining room lighting a scented candle and spraying Febreze. Gotta' research spring veggies for that straw bale dream I've invested in.

Sometime after I went to bed I heard the wind chimes going nuts and thought that it sounded a little close as in the damn dining room door blew open again. BG found it that way when she got home from work and moved some stuff up against it to keep the cold wind out. The way we ration the propane around here there's a definite priority, if you know what I mean. My landlord says they will "get to it" but so far it hasn't been anywhere near the top of the list. Most of the past two years is a blur to me because of the constant state of crisis within my family. I still can't believe that Mama broke her leg while I was two weeks post-op for the shoulder thingie. Talk about your bad luck! She was on the rehab road, so to speak, for four months after. Thank the lort' I've got friends who will help a girl out. The seriously cute mailman just went down to the end of the lane where nobody lives so maybe he's checking out the house. The dogs love him because he gives them treats. Plus he brings all my bills and puts them right there where I can find them.

Meanwhile, Rome burns ^j^

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

file this

I'm sittin' here on the eve of our best chance for snow this season which I must say makes me nervous because Feb and March last year were a nightmare. If all goes well there will be an inch or so which should make for some nice shots to put in my portfolio. Maybe after I'm gone BG can auction them them off to pay for my funeral! It's all just an exercise in fun for me but I wouldn't mind a little extra income. Tommy told me once that it boggled his mind to think of the number of his images floating around on the innerwebs being used for Lord knows what. Speaking of which, Lent is coming so y'all better get out there and raise some hell prior to the giving up of something wicked. And eat a king cake sans baby because that's kinda' creepy. Enough about all that partying. I think I know where I can get ashed and I will wear it with humility.

The sheer JPEG volume that is pictures I have taken with the badass camera is something to behold, not to mention all the times it went away and came back to photograph once again. I'm slowing weeding through the ones that look like somebody was a little tipsy and thought the cat was cute, and there's a bunch. Much of my time with Babyman has been spent posing and playing attempting to capture something digitally that I'm seeing right in front of my eyes WITH human emotion as a value added. He will be two in a month and there will be a party I'm sure where he will be the shining star! Since the feds paid me back maybe I can afford a present this year. I'm headed to a barrier island and watching Magic Mike Redux if it kills me.We were unpacking stuff at work today and I wanted with all my heart to save that paper to wrap up items for Etsy but honestly it was just a bit much past what I could muster at the moment. You see the cheap ass used tire we bought for the Cadi last week went flat at the BBQ pit so there you go...another kink in today's plans to get home and start a day off in style. I guarantee you I'll be out cold by 8. And keeping the faith, as usual. I'm already jonesing to get the straw bale garden going. While we were having a chat at the round table this afternoon Lauren asked me if it hurt them to get wet. Obviously, she is her grandmother's granddaughter and that's all good. When I think of where we were one year ago, all I can do is thank Big Ernie and sweet baby Jeebus.

Peace ^j^

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

on the wild side

Well thank goodness flu season is taking a break and the sawmill isn't like a chinese fire drill, at least not today. Instead, the air got turned off and the big ass fans on while they did some duct sucking. It's a blessing it wasn't busy because nobody could hear a damn thing up in Chemistry! We have a new girl who caught my heart on day one and will forevermore be a hero in the world of healthcare because she's young and still has that sparkle in her eye when it comes to "helping people" and learning. I feel much better about the state of things, if you know what I mean. I did a little workplace activism today and contacted the state legislators in our area about Insure TN and how from my two perspectives, resident and employee, think it's stupid to turn away federal money for healthcare when Medicare is cutting reimbursement to the least of us. As we all know TN has a rich history with politicians who are in the bed with making sure that their business interests are taken care of. Bill Frist ring a bell? BTW dude...the Schiavo family is past all that.

I confess that I did read the headline about the Jordanian pilot being burned to death in a cage but I didn't want to watch and you can't do that at work anyway. All if took was one paragraph to make me sigh "Jesus" and turn away. On one FB page that I visit a comment drew a parallel to Nazi Germany and I truly believe that if they had their way it would be thus and so but...there's always a but. These fools are like a bad horror movie and getting a boner over all the MSM attention they get when ransom demands aren't met. we're gonna give you money so you can extort more? They are attempting to fleece every government in the world who has civilians in their territory just doing their jobs. Allah hates your guts people. Chew on that.

The grands are maintaining and doing alright last I heard. I called Mama right before I passed out last night and she remarked that I was up late (8:30) but I assured her me and SammyD were already snuggled up for the night. It finally cleared off and I watched the stars and moon do a little dance outside my bedroom window. I rarely see sunrise except through the break room window and I miss it but the sunsets make up for it. Spring is coming, dontcha' know! I found the first crocus today, a gold patch on the south bank bed under BG's window. Lorna's iris have survived the winter and will soon be giving me something to appreciate other than purple and yellow, each variety coming from a different yard to mine. I'm still studying the straw bale situation and noticed that there are a lot of pallets in my basement which would be primo for that sort of thing. Anybody who feels like hauling them up the concrete steps to outside is welcome to holla'. I might even provide refreshments, as they say at the Sanitorium.

I feel hopeful for the first time in like...forever. There are things that have been on my back that I allowed to weigh down my energy and faith and I'm done with that. Life is short and then you die. There was this movie one time with the catchphrase "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna' take it anymore." In a nutshell, that's what's up in my world.

How about yours?

Monday, February 2, 2015

groundhog day

I spent it like many other, Bill Murray waking up over and over again to the same movie that is on repeat. According to the media the official dude in PA saw his shadow but there was not a shadow or ray of sunlight to be seen in the 'burg today so I'll take that as an early spring. There is the most beautiful orange sunset showing out against the pink and blue sky framed with the green of winter wheat. This place is what helps me keep sanity in a world where there usually seems to be very little normal. Of course it's gone now because it's 6PM and dark and cold again! Dammit to hell I reckon I'll just have to brew up some compost tea for that straw bale garden in the works out back. I will grow me some food this year, or die trying.

According to the "official" place my refund is somewhere on the innerwebs winging its' way to my local bank, thankyouverymuch feds. If you can finance a ten year war on terrorism you can damn well make sure the money you took out of my hard earned check is returned in a timely manner. As a side note, I noticed that there are no penalties or interest from 2012 and the pension payout for 2013 wasn't taxed either. Hmm...whom should I thank for this fortunate change in screwing the little people? I'll settle for thanking Big Ernie and leave it at that because I see pizza in our immediate future. I failed to return House of Cards to Hastings but I have card where I sold a book there so maybe that will cover the late fees.

I've been a Kathy Mattea fan for a long time and I admire her devotion to the history of West Virginia and all that entails which is pretty depressing considering the history of coal mining and poverty there. When will we ever learn that the the gifts that God gave us will be what we miss when they are gone? The modern day version of that is fracking and Canadian oil in pipes driving down the price of gas so that we can buy a bigger honkin' SUV to drive those kids to soccer practice. In the end? None of that will matter.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

gimme' shelter

It has rained cats and dogs for many hours now and it's nice to be inside for the day. The wind was blowing just the right way where it leaked a river on the bathroom floor at Casa Grands so there's towels and a bucket for now. Yeah I know. Lori was with Mom so there wasn't that to worry about but we got right onto notification of the proper people about the fall risk. Have I told you how much I adore this woman??? She and mama talked the whole time and that's what therapy is all about. TLC is what the elderly need and come to mention it I'm getting there. Today is Amateur Night #2 with the #1 spot going to New Year's Eve as far as people who get drunk and drive. I'm sure Seattle will win because my friend Chuck has put has put his mojo on them and Tom Brady is now "tarnished". Ante up people!

I've had the best time this weekend piddling and going through history, attempting to archive what's a keeper and trash the rest. I have a copy of the Saturday Evening Post when JFK was murdered that is a real classic and a copy of the Commercial Appeal from when Ike passed. My mother was a real historian you know. As daddy and I drove back through town on the way home I asked him the dates on all the downtown landmarks including the hospital where I was born. He put that one at about 1900. One of the more progressive banks in our city houses their offices in the former Cordell Hull hotel building. Shoutout to Megan and John and that whole bunch.

So I have a sore throat (again) and feel like shit so it's time for some oil pulling and detoxing and whatnot. My only trip out of the house yesterday was to get straw bales for the beginning of my garden. The nice young man there loaded 'em into the Camry and away we went all looking redneck and shit. SammyD was riding shotgun and we made it home without incident. In case you haven't notice, I'm in one of those moods that can't really be defined. Certain realities have become painfully obvious and I struggle with letting go of feelings of betrayal at times. If you have never been thrown under the proverbial bus, count yourself blessed.

And always...keep the faith ^j^