Wednesday, October 31, 2018

trick or treat

Well, good old ATT tricked me again.  I was busy with exercise class this morning and an interview afterwards.  There was a payment set to draft on the 28th which would clear my account and I noticed that it didn't draft.  After I got home and was ready to relax, guess what.  No service. I go to the ATT store to pay their measly 90 bucks to get service restored because you gotta' have a phone.  Needless to say, I am not a happy camper and they will hear about it.  Not that they care, but.  That's twice this month that service has been suspended because THEY failed to draft the payment on the assigned date.  Y'all are not playing fair with a very loyal customer, soon to be ex.   And now I'm in on hold hell.  No wait!  Disconnect.

My interview was quite interesting with the folks at the Dyer County Sheriff Department concerning their jail re-entry program.  More later on that.  I met some cool folks and got a lot of info.  The funny thing was that I turned my phone off so as not to interrupt what was going on and everybody else had theirs out.  Little did I know that I had no service.  

Just another day in paradise huh?  Keep the faith ^j^

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

on the town

Joy and Pearl and I sat in the colorful sunshine by the lake this morning watching turtles plop up and down off a log near the boathouse.  The temperature hit 80 but there was a nice breeze and leaves blowing everywhere.  It's mesmerizing to watch that water ripple in the wind.  She needed her hair did so we got that done and a little shopping at Buff City Soap.  We also wandered into the other crack store Pennington's and checked out their pretties.  These next weeks will be prime for their businesses and will have to tide them over 'til spring.  I finally bought a Soap Groupie shirt since I am indeed one of their biggest fans.  I watched from The Mill as that place sprang up out of nowhere.  Stanley was in the feed store and he told me that nobody else has any pecans either.  It's totally random depending on the weather which hasn't been too seasonal this year.  

I'm free tomorrow except for an interview after exercise class.  Two birds in one stone, so to speak.  I realized when I got home that my shirt was on inside out and I had been all over the 'burg that way.  Either nobody noticed it or they were being polite.  I prefer to look at is as "piping" on the shirt.  

It's gonna be a rainy Halloween so all of West Tennessee is doing their thing tonight.  I'm sure I'll get a picture of Reaves in costume.  

Peace ~

Monday, October 29, 2018

little band of skunks

I'm not normally out after dark but today I was and as I turned onto the lane I spotted the black and white critter skulking on the side.  Then another one.  I know from experience what your car and yourself smell like if you hit one.  There was a whole little family up and down the road and I dodged every one of them.  Then when I let Ellie out, she got sprayed.  Lerd.  She's outside airing right now.  

I spent a day watching movies and admiring the fall colors with Joy.  The ATT guy was in and out getting things all ready.  It was nice to have a day devoted to sitting with a friend and her dog.  She had a nice long walk today with Pearl while Gay and I peered over the deck thanking God for her good fortune.  She is truly a warrior woman, rattles and all.  

I am slowly getting my mojo back being careful to set boundaries for myself.  My appeal for home care jobs has been met heartily and I'm trying to work out something that still gives me time to be a retiree.  Since there was no TV the only news I know is that Sarah cried and there's a bunch of pissed off Americans.  Oh, and the Melania signing thing.  Lord help us all.

One of the movies we watched today was The Shape of Water and I was totally captivated.  I see now why it was so widely acclaimed.  Then there was a tearjerker and finally a really good Disney.  I have a date with friends to see Bohemian Rhapsody on Monday.  Matinee, of course.

Y'all enjoy the colors.  They were a long time coming ^j^

Sunday, October 28, 2018

hospice philosophy

I was in the trenches of healthcare for 41 years.  About 25 years ago, I began to understand that people die all the time, some more slowly  than others.  Many of them are kept alive artificially by procedures like dialysis and ventilation.  Often, it is against what the patient's wishes are because next of kin makes the decision if the patient is not able to make his or her own wishes known.  People don't want to let go of their friends and family.  I get that.  That is when my focus turned toward palliative care.  I studied relentlessly about projects that embrace the "dying well" philosophy of Ira Byock.  Kathy George and I did a whole lot of leg work to try to put together a top ten list of diagnoses and codes for a study on end stage diseases.

Mama gave me a book one year by a doctor which was a clear, clinical practical guide to helping patients die peacefully.  If I had a nickel for every frantic end of life scene I've witnessed where nobody was getting along and many were in denial, I'd be rich.  The whole  hospice movement focuses on giving aid to those who know they have a terminal illness,  That gives a family six months to make peace with each other and the past.  No guilt.  It always helps to have your plans made and shared with a select few that you trust.

My friend Gigi almost died last year from meningitis.  It was sudden and critical.  She got hit with every med in the world over the next months and survived, thank the lort.  That is totally different from chronic disease wearing away at your body.  Chemotherapy is a booming business as is radiation therapy. The treatments are strong and harsh on your body.  If there was a recent surgery or another existing condition like heart disease or diabetes....well, you get the picture.  It's a hot mess.  I have worked in that setting and loved the patients to pieces, all the while hating the job.  

Some of my friends are freaking out because I have reached out to ask for their participation in my funeral, whatever it shall be.  My motivation for this is to keep my family from having to make decisions.  I've already made them.   If any of them are dead before me, Kay's got it.   Not to worry, I'm fine except for arthritis.

Which brings me back to hospice and home health.  The down side of home hospice is that there must be somebody there with the client 24/7.  Nurses come and go and the trusted ones are instructed how to medicate and treat.  We did that with my aunt Helen.  The one shift I took with her was the last time I saw her alive.  A DNR must be signed and visible in case somebody flips out and calls an ambulance.  Hospice care can be delivered in the hospital setting as well which is what we did with both of my parents.  Their multiple health problems and age just mounted.  I was still working there and was healthcare DPA so I had a lot of advantages, namely wise advice from a staff of healthcare professionals who loved both me and my parents.  Dr. Ategbole, bless his heart, is the one who told me point blank "Let your daddy go."  And we did.  He was at peace at the end.  In fact he told me two days before "i want to die."  His was an acute event that lasted about two months.

Mama, on the other hand, was long and drawn out involving many falls and CHF.  Many falls equals many surgeries on broken bones.  One of my main chores was taking them to the doctor as their advocate.  I wouldn't trade it for the world in gold but it was like five years of being on call.  I distinctly remember picking my mother up from rehab to see the orthopedic doc.  The pinning had failed and she was in terrific pain.  Osteoporosis is a bitch.  It was cold as shit and I had her wrapped in a blanket in a wheelchair.  When the film showed the screw hanging sideways we went to the hospital.  She did well with the surgery to repair but out of the blue developed a ruptured pocket in the colon meaning sepsis was setting up.  More surgery was out of the question.  Once again, a dear friend and co-worker said "it's over."  

Fast forward to hospice part 2.  It lasted about 3 days and I was there working so I could drop in at will.  She was comfortable and passed peacefully in the night with my brother Tommy at her side.  The day before it snowed, and Lauren napped on the little couch thing after she got off from her job.  We were all on the same page and together as a family.  Millette was there always for anything we needed.  

Hospice is about easing the pain and raising awareness of the patient's wishes by having family conversations, and with friends.  My attorney said that is the most generous thing anyone can do.  He will be speaking at mine, Lord willing.

This is probably a long ramble to keep from thinking about the past 72 hours.  Hey...whatever works ^j^

Saturday, October 27, 2018


Nobody comes down this lane much at all.  When I was out walking with the fur babies today I saw a car cautiously creeping up the hill.  I smiled and waved as he passed and he was careful not to hit the dogs.  About three minutes later he was back asking about the delivery address.  When he told me I directed him down to Patrick and Bev's.  So he goes ALL the way down the hill to turn around and crept past me to his destination.  "Thanks ma'am" he said.  When he left he once again told me thank you.  Nice young man.  I should nominate him for employee of the month.

I've been on a roll this morning networking for an additional income stream.  There are write for pay opportunities all over the place you just have to research them.  My new writing word of the day is "pitch."  How to get your work seen, critiqued and published.  I am overwhelmed with the thought of a book.  I'm sort of an essay kind of gal. I'm also exploring sitting/personal attendant possibilities.  With my healthcare experience and compassion it's kind of a no brainer.  

The hate continues, this time in Pittsburgh.  About all I can say is "Jesus wept."  And God bless us all.  ^j^

Friday, October 26, 2018

taters and onions

As promised, I showed up on the square to help with the tater and onion part of the Community Cancer Fund event.  When I showed up I asked Jeff what I needed to do and he said for me to back up because it's a war zone up here!  He and the mayor were hard at it with plenty of help so I went to the back up tent provided by Hexpol and hung out with Yaya and her bunch.  I was able to get little snacks from them.  I watched those guys up on a stage doing their thing and fondly remembered my daddy and Joe Wood doing the exact same thing out of the back of a pickup at Moody Wadley.  They were the pioneers of that piece.  Tyson sold out of their dolla' sausage quickly.  It was gone by the time I ran into Vick and her empty bag.  She got her some taters though! I saw a lot of people I knew and met some that I didn't know.  It was a Norman Rockwell kind of event with community coming together for a good local cause.  Funds raised by this organization are kept locally for cancer patients whereas Relay for Life adds to the coffers of the American Cancer Society.  One of my dear friends, a colon cancer survivor, is on the CCF board.  She got the good news this week that she is dismissed from having to see her oncologist after 15 years.  Way to go girl!!  Keep up with those scopes :)

It already looks like November.  The trees are finally changing to gold and orange and it's cold and dreary.  So, um.  They caught the bomber guy in Florida, a registered Republican. Not that it matters by any means.  I mean the Dems are just as likely to send threats, right?  Hell no.  All we want is to reach across the aisle but there's nobody willing to move toward center.  Pisses me off bad.  House of Cards has got me fired up, even though it's the Dems in power there.  It shows me how the game is played at that level.  

Expect nothing.  Give it all you got ^j^

Thursday, October 25, 2018

picture this

I'm all about supporting the growth on South Mill and have spent several years watching Tencom and The Mill Workspace come alive across from Pennington Seed and Supply.  There are now two cool shops next to his store, where I have spent the grocery money on more than one occasion.  The latest is Buff City Soap Company.  I went to their grand opening which was packed and they are STILL packed out most all the time.  Today was their ribbon cutting and I had just finished lunch so I just showed up with my mighty little phone camera and took some pics while we all mingled.  I actually saw my ex-boss there.  

The cutting was out front so all of us picture takers, including Chris on live stream, backed into the street.  The downtown development person from the Chamber was right there beside me and I actually walked into Chris' live feed.   He mouthed to me "live" and grinned.  Lord y'all.  You can't take me anywhere.  It all got done and I ended up there in with the street with Steve and the giant scissors for a discussion about a totally different project.  I wish I had a picture of THAT!  

Harvey is here today so I headed down toward the cabin to see if they were there and sure enough.  We did a walkabout and discussed the flow of the place once finished.  He and Bubba had just gotten the bad news that the same levee broke that did before.  That is major dirt work kids.  *sigh*  We chatted and hugged and talked about grandkids.  There's an easy relationship there with us and Bubba.  

That was my day and it was full of joy and opportunity ^j^

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

breaking news

Alrighty then.  I just read about the pipe bombs sent to several key Democrats.  Nothing surprises me these days.  If these folks think that they are helping the GOP's case by acts of terrorism, they are dead wrong.  Every time something like this happens it further divides our country which, in fact, may be what they want.  Creating a hot bed of hostility is a sure road to anarchy.  If I were y'all I would start stocking up on bottled water.  Trump obviously did not send the bombs, but the hysteria that he has caused did.  I will be glad to see mid-terms come and go.  At least we'll know what we're dealing with.  This tariff thing is likely to put a lot of farmers out of business.  *sigh*

I skipped yoga today because of the shoulder and did the starting  point class which is more my speed.  Once I build up my shoulder strength again I'll ease back into the yoga.  Amy does a good cardio/core workout with a big smile.  After I got home me and the dogs did our walk and took it a little bit further.  Sam found another dead squirrel but didn't bring it home thank goodness.  I'm hooked on House of Cards again and catching up for the next season.  Frank's recovery was amazing but then he's immortal.  I am intrigued with the VP and Claire thing.  Can you imagine Melania and Pence in that situation?  Lerd.  As I passed through town I spotted a very large very nice bus parked on court square which I assume belongs to a particular candidate.  Or not.  It was not marked and was parked the legal distance away from the polling place. 

I am delighted not to have to talk to ATT today because the past few have been a nightmare. Like with most large businesses, it takes forever to get to a real person.  Such is life these days.  I'm still trolling for a part time job and trying to improve my stamina at the same time.  I have faith that Big Ernie has a plan and will reveal it to me in due time.

Namaste ~

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

ATT nightmares

I got up today and found that in spite of the payment arrangement I made ( which was not entered into the system ) my DSL service was cut off.  This is the second time that it's happened to me this month, also with wireless.  All customer service reps are polite but they say "the system" won't let them do things.  Today's debacle is over 50 bucks which I sent into OD to pay because I can't go 8 days without the internet.  I'm a writer, duh.  Plus not even any TV without the DSL.  

This is very frustrating to me.  Twice I made payment arrangements and twice they were not entered into "the system."  Service still is not restored so I'm hot spotting this.  From the mobile app which was disconnected recently.  Lerd. I am shopping for new vendors for both.  

I stayed up late and slept late,  my usual 12 hours.  This is eating up data so it will be short and sweet.  The dogs and I went for our walk and ran into the farmers doing their thing in front of the silos.  Big ass machines.  I'm assuming they're laying down something on the soil.  

Per Ed's sermon "come to pass" means that things will be different.  That reminded me of Mr. Billy Yates, he of "leave room for the spirit to work" and "this too shall pass."  We are approaching full moon so maybe that's the culprit.  Surely Mercury is not in retrograde again!!

Stay positive ^j^

Monday, October 22, 2018

hen party

I love it when the funeral home is empty and me and Kay and Janie can visit between phone calls.  Janie has a new computer and it was giving her fits.  I dropped off what paperwork I had for "my file" which Kay had already started, believe it or not.  She is an organizational wizard and one of them can't function without the other.  We spent about 15 minutes talking pre-arrangement and two hours on life.  To say we go way back is an understatement.   Now there's a form to fill out and additional insurance to buy which should be cheap.  I don't want anybody left holding the bag on this one.

I skipped the walk today because I was getting shin splints so I'll be back at it tomorrow.  I had to call my girl Gracie and sing happy birthday on the phone and she told me all about her day.  What a sweetheart.  She asked if I have psychic powers because I know she's 11.  I told her me and Mammy are telepathic.  

Haven't checked the news today because, well.  You know.  I have an interview next week for my next piece.  Between then and now, Harvey will swoop in for a day and the Community Cancer Fund will pimp BBQ and taters' and onions in their new location on the north wide of the square so as not to interfere with early voting.  Wise move.  

It's good to have days filled with purpose...otherwise I would just go into the rabbit hole.  Being able to do these things without work getting in the way is worth being broke.  

As Jerry would say "Happy marvelous Monday!"

Sunday, October 21, 2018

the patience of job

I don't know happened during the night but I woke up this morning barely able to raise my arm on the GOOD side, the one where surgery worked.  I haven't taken ibuprofen or naproxen in forever but I loaded up on them and got to church.  Plus arnica and magnesium oil.  The pain is centered in the shoulder but runs up my neck like it needs to be stretched.  Lerd.  It's always something.  

The sermon today was about Job and how much he suffered like we all do.  He had a lot of bad stuff go down leading a lot of people to believe that he must have done something really bad to go through all that.  God snatched him out of the whirlwind and blessed him with a long and prosperous life in spite of his tragedy.  Who among us has not asked the eternal question "Why do bad things happen to good people?"  There is never a definitive answer.  Evil is everywhere and so are natural disasters like fires and storms.  Ed also referenced Mark 10:35-45 where James and John asked to be kind of co leaders with Jesus, one on his right and the other on his left.  This really pissed off the other 10. So then they got a lecture on power and greed.  

I don't have a greedy bone in my body and working the steps has taught me that pride comes right before a fall.  Trying to stay humble and grateful is all I know to do.  This has been a real year of transition beginning with the birth of Reaves a year ago and my early retirement.  The financial challenges are real and ever present.  Day to day I figure out ways to economize right down to dolla' instant 'taters for dinner.  It is what it is. I am steady manifesting my future.  

Just got off the phone with a dear friend whom I call family.  We are an unlikely pair but bonded from the first day we met.  That is the beauty of being diverse.  Know your tribe and who has your back.

Peace out ^j^

Saturday, October 20, 2018

ho hum

It's a beautiful day in the 'hood and the critters joined me for a walk.  Four days straight.  I can deal with the cold if it's not too bad but not with heat.  That's why I quit before.  For some reason my washer has decided to start wrapping things around the bottom where I have to sometimes CUT them out.  Bending over that washer for extending periods trying to get it unstuck sometimes isn't worth it.  

Today, as we all know, is a national holiday.  UT vs Alabama is a long and heated rivalry and I'm afraid the Vols are in for a tough fight.  My daddy had a print titled "Third Saturday in October."  Lord knows who has it now.  Back in the day it was party on at the kudzu bar for this game.  Gene is an Alabama fan and rang a bell loudly every time they made a touchdown.  Of course everybody else there was in orange.  I gave my last UT print to Lauren as a gift for her sponsor's husband.  If I know Ktown, it's pretty wild and wooly today.

Not only do I have cell service with the devil, I also have internet via a landline.  They refuse to carry service any further down the road so I'll also be looking for another internet provider as well as new cell service.  Once Lauren's phone is paid for....poof.  They're history.  The carpenter has had hip surgery so it's been quiet at the cabin for a bit.  I can certainly understand that as an occupational hazard.  The farm owner will be here next week for his bi-annual look see.  Most times he makes a road trip of it and visits places he's never been.  Real history buff.

Y'all keep it in the middle of the road.  ^j^

Friday, October 19, 2018

rambling on

My evil lazy twin shut off the alarm this morning and rolled over attempting to opt out of yoga.  I got a message that got me up and at it and on time.  Natalie and Amy are very good instructors.  I still can't do a crow without falling over, but that will come.  Today we actually did headstands.  Mine was clumsy and lots of assistance from Amy but I made it.  I almost passed out when I came down!  I had two other appointments and those went sideways so I came home and took a walk with the pack.  Ellie is learning what the limits are and each day I go a bit farther down the hill just to get the cardio coming back up.  It's either keep the flow going or turn into a pile of mush.  

I haven't checked the news, purposely.  I don't want to lose that calm, ya' know?  I got my latest assignment from my editor and made a phone call to get the ball rolling on that.  Checked in with Lauren and she's just working and chasing Reaves.    Looks like we have rain coming and a chance of frost for a couple of days.  Once we get that good hard one, the kudzu will be dead overnight.  

Today  is laundry and ( possibly ) dishes day as the spirit moves me.  I'm such a procrastinator.  But hey...that is who I am.  Neither of my parents were that way.  I guess I belong to the milkman.  Tommy is much more like me...going with the flow while Bubba is regimented and organized like our parents were.  It serves him well with all the responsibility he carries.  We are trying to figure out some kind of Thanksgiving gathering but he's probably working and who knows about Lauren.  We shall see.  It may not be Norman Rockwell, but we shall gather at some point.

I think working in healthcare for so many years has given me the flexibility to see that it doesn't have to be on THE day for it to be a family celebration.  

Y'all don't try any headstands at home by yourself.  Right Christie?   As always keep the faith and remember who you are.  

Thursday, October 18, 2018

today's goal

I did my part to drain the swamp today and voted early.  They had already had over 200 and people were still pouring in.  I have a feeling that some people who never vote will be getting out for this one.  Since I'm a county resident, I did not participate in the city election for mayor and alderpeople.  Therefore, my ballot was short and sweet.

After that I got a quick burger and hit up the 'gentral for some toilet paper because Ellie keeps shredding it.  I dropped off my cans for recycle and got a small check.  I have a pile of glass that seriously needs to go to a recycle center but it's about to get too heavy to lift.  I hope Dyer County Recycles gets up and running soon because I have a bunch of stuff like batteries, electronics and glass to get rid of.  Patsye hauls all of hers back to East Tennessee,  I'm not using straws anymore so there's that.  I'll have to start a plastic pile too!  She said that at her center they don't even have to be separated.  

I just signed up for an online summit featuring John Boehner as the pioneer in marijuana promotion which seems kind of odd but.  There you have it.  I'm sure he's looking at it from a profit motive, but I did know when he left the Senate he was a different person and more like me that I realized.  He saw the shit show coming down the tracks and didn't want to be a part of it.  

This brings us to the current pandering with the Saudis which Trump defends by saying "they didn't do it."  Every decision ever made with other countries and that government has been based on their control of oil.  Multiple efforts for clean energy have been shot down by high tariffs and political deals.  They WANT us to need that gas and coal.  Solar panels.  Wind turbines.  The ways to save our earth at countless.  But we have no power, as individuals, to change things.  Only by coming together across the aisle and looking at reality can we ever have a chance of our kids and grandchildren knowing the good life that we had back in the day.   A lot of millenials will inherit boomer money but unlike their parents before them, I think they will use it to help humanity thrive.  I know.....rainbows and unicorns.  It beats being a curmudgeon.

Keep smiling...keep shining :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

change is good

Well, besides universal healthcare there's a brand new reason to move to weed.  They are also pardoning people with pot convictions which is astounding.  So many folks are sitting in prisons that we pay for in the US on pot convictions.  Legalize and be done with it folks.  It ain't going anywhere because there are so many health benefits.  Meanwhile, orange man and his gang are ramping up to get everybody off track pre-midterms.  My earnest prayer is that it won't work because everybody has had a snoot full.  I will vote tomorrow.  

I went to my first ever yoga class this morning taught by Natalie Patterson of Glo Yoga.  There were six of us and I felt totally comfortable as a novice.  My balance is WAY off so I was kind of wobbly and had to use the bar a few times but it was a good workout.  Namaste ladies.

I went for a walk when I got home and of course all three dogs followed me.  Sam found a dead squirrel and scooped it up to bring home.  He was the leader of the pack and the other two didn't dare mess with his prize.  Said dead squirrel is now on my front porch resting in peace.  

Today's weather is sunny and warm which is nice.  Tennessee weather is kind of bi-polar and climate change has made it worse.  I was able to turn off the heat today so there's that.  Gotta' preserve that propane for the cold weather.  I have one little oil heater that sits in my office and does well with the doors closed.  As for the bedroom, there are dogs to keep me warm.  Oscar has been sleeping on the front porch chair lately which is kind of odd.  I think he's giving Ellie space.  

I'm still pissed at ATT and made another phone call today and another number to call at collections.  All this over 90 bucks.  Hide and watch kids.  Once you screw me like that I'm done.  I asked for a 3 day extension on that payment and was denied.  That means another 35 buck OD charge.  So will payment of the utility bill.  

But you know what?  I still believe in miracles ^j^

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

enough is enough

It was a real treat to watch Let's Make a Deal today while I was keeping Reaves.  Fun and diversion from the madness I found when I finally checked the news.  I picked baby girl  up from a friend while Lauren was at a meeting.  She went to the doc and had her knee surgery scheduled before that.  Reaves is walking like a pro, I must add.  We played and talked and she actually repeats what she hears.  Her current favorite is If I'm lying I'm dying.  I got to see Sam and Granny Jo and TT.  And of course Erica's little tribe.  

There are a group of Republican senators who think that a trillion dollar in the hole budget will be solved by cutting SS and Medicare benefits.  Notice I didn't call them entitlements because they are not.  We have paid in a fair amount over our working lives trusting the government to repay us in the "golden years."  That is the majority of my income now and I'm not Medicare eligible yet.  And it's just me.  

After a not too well paid veteran healthcare career I decided that the toll it was taking on my body was not worth risking what mobility I have.  Two RTC surgeries in three years, one that wasn't very successful.  You're 62 now.  It may not be there much longer.  Do you SEE how scary that is?

I want universal healthcare.  This for profit shit is killing more people than helping them.  There will still be a need for brokers like Blue Cross only they won't have stockholders waiting for a payback.  The normal pattern of buy up and cut back is what a lot of healthcare providers are doing.  For profit.  For stockholders.  Our electrical supplier TVA is the same way.

As long as my girls are smiling, life is good ^j^

Monday, October 15, 2018

the moors redux

What a perfectly gloomy Monday!  It is on days like these that I'm forever grateful not to be getting dressed at 5AM for work.  I ran up to Gigi's for a visit today and Precious showed up to do a plumbing job.  We all compared baby pictures and talked trash.  He has my Leica and we need to find a battery pack to test it with before I drop 30 bucks on one.  The collection of camera lenses and old film bodies will go to Damascus.  Bella got passed around like the baby that she is and danced for us while Regina did a phone transport.  Long story there.  Mark and I talked politics and we are together in misery almost to the point of I don't give a f**k.  

As for Trump vs Warren, I don't get it.  It's another distraction in the dog and pony show that is Washington.  Um. DNA testing is pretty much a science these days so I admire EW for just doing it on her own.  As for the offer of a million to do something that she willingly did on her own?  Bless ALL our hearts.  

I still have jet lag from staying up til 1AM.  When I stopped at the chicken store Ashley told me her uncle had passed.  Said he had a 4 thousand platelet count.  That is what leukemia does, in essence.  It crowds out the other cells to the point that the whole thing just doesn't function.  Bone marrow becomes packed with too much of one cell and not enough of the others.  Speaking of white's a ramble.

Last year I was at work and noticed a spinal fluid come in.  I was busy doing something else but knew by looking at it that it was bad news.  HIPPA notwithstanding, I noticed my friend's name and ran to the ER.  She had been transported by EMS after her sister found her out of it.  She had bacterial meningitis in the worst way and was transferred to Memphis for a VERY long recovery.  By the grace of God she is alive and well.  

Regina used to sell jewelry on the side and I was at her house the day I got the call that Mama had broken her hip.  During all the times in and out during those surgeries I gave each caregiver a bracelet from her collection.  All wooden with crosses and peace signs.  I noticed that Kay still has hers on her desk.   We picked through the basket and came up with about 20 more so we will continue to spread the love of Team Janice.


Sunday, October 14, 2018

take a walk on the wild side

That was the official song of the Dyersburg High School Class of 1973.  Over 45 years of reunions we have listened to it many times.  Yesterday afternoon we got together on a chilly damp afternoon to celebrate us.  Patsye had a list of the deceased next to a candle and I was humbled to see that many names in black and white.  Out of a class of about 250 there are over 60 gone.  The party started about four which is a good thing because we're old and Everybody can't hang plus we beat the worst of the rain.  Larry and Patsye and I made it until 1AM cleaning up and we all slept like the dead, including Sally who was the definitive party animal. 

I saw people that I see all the time and some that I've not seen in years.  We are a really diverse group that grew up in the Watergate and Vietnam era.  We are the boomers.  The crowd was small but then it was a betweener so there ya' go.  Patsye is the perfect hostess with the mostest so all I did was take direction from her as we cooked.  It was fun, laid back and a great time for everybody.  We are who we are and there is no pretense anymore.  Chucky is our official DJ the high tech way.  He used to do it as a side gig but has kind of cut it back to a few weddings and stuff.  Everybody contributed and that's what makes it so cool.  

My dear friend Mary Gwyn made it and we haven't seen each in years.  We were mighty tight back in the day.  Our mothers worked together at The Dyersburg Mirror for years. She has an RV in Tallahassee so that will probably be my next beach destination.  No damage it just got moved a few inches by Michael.  

I don't know what's going on the real world at this point and I may just leave it that way besides watching SNL.  The Vols beat Auburn which was impressive.  I don't really keep up but I know they got a few whoopings there at first.   Gold old Rocky Top.

Gratitude ~

Friday, October 12, 2018

dear ATT

I have been a loyal customer with your wireless service since 2007.  If you count my time with BellSouth it goes way farther back.  Your company has always been fair with me in making payment arrangements.  I recently made one with one installment due on 10/10 and one on 10/31.  When I noticed the payment did not draft out on the 10th, I called and was told it was to be processed on the 11th.  Fine then.  "No worries, right?" I asked.  I don't want service to be interrupted.  No problem, she said.  I got a couple of texts and calls this morning and then BOOM.  They pulled the plug on me.  Now, I'm pretty much broke most of the time with zero cushion for emergencies which is why i make payment arrangements.  I went to the store and paid the past due amount.  Waited around to see if service was returned,  Nada.  So I then called customer service from THEIR phone with assistance from the nice lady and spent about 15 minutes arguing with a guy about why the service was still gone.  We must have a hundred more dollars today.  Plus there will be a fee for restoring plus the aforementioned payment agreement for 10/31 is no longer valid and will be billed no later than the 28th which is three days before I get income.  So here's the deal guys....the only thing tying me to you right now is 277 bucks owed on the last device purchased.  Mama ain't happy that just because you got your wires crossed I'm out more money.  When that "device" as you call it, is paid out, I'm history.  I'm sure you won't  miss me what with all the income from DirecTV and your other services.  

After I got service I called Patsye and we met up for a WalMart run for reunion food.  We were on a mission, split up and searched and done in less than an hour.  BONUS:  if all fit in her trunk.  We paid ahead for a tray from Casey's and it was done.  Jim is bringing wood today and Travis already delivered the hay bales.  I just got off the phone with Gina for our semi-annual catch up with her giving regrets.  We laughed and shared stories about horses and daughters and grandkids and getting old.  Made my day.

My heart is broken for the state of Florida.  There will be months without power due to infrastructure damage, much like Puerto Rico which STILL needs help.  Take care of your country feds.  If we fall, so will you.


Thursday, October 11, 2018


We have a reunion planned for Saturday afternoon at the Pritchett/Thurmon cottage on Upper Finley Road.  It will be laid back, jeans and hoodies and hay bales around the fire.  More than likely I'll take Bernie with me.  There is shopping to do but Patsye has the decorations totally done.  She's manic like that!  

I took Mamye to drop her car off at Nissan this morning and she bought me breakfast and a bottle of Salty Caramel.  Next time we'll go to Coby's for breakfast.  Cracker Barrel? meh.  The car wasn't ready at the appointed time so I took her home, slept off the breakfast and took her back with a stop or two along the way.  All this, in the ratty ass trusty old Camry.  With no hubcaps or passenger side door handle.  Must. Find. Car.  I'm counting on Pinky to help with that.  

I ran out to Patsye's and dropped off a couple of things but she was at her Mama's house.  I certainly know how that goes.  Her Daddy and his bunch are out here now finishing up beans and plowing up corn fields.  'Tis the season.  

I have a date with a friend and a dog in a plane sometime soon.  It's been in maintenance and comes out tomorrow.  I can't wait to see this farm from the air.  Have camera, will fly.  Actually I'm not scared at all because of trust and faith.

The dear one who planned his entire trip to Canada back to Memphis just in time for our reunion had to head back to his home in Panama City post Michael.  Darryl has been a very good friend to me for a long time.  Annie is precious.  I hope they have a home left when they get there.  

Other than that? Rainbows and unicorns.  I refuse to be sucked into negativity.  There's a reason for everything and this too shall pass if we leave room for the spirit to work ^j^

Wednesday, October 10, 2018


My KY cousin always told  me I was boring because I wouldn't do anything on a whim.  I've gotten much better about it since retirement so I was ready to roll when Cathy texted me and Carol for lunch at Los Portales.  Our waitress was a classmate of Carol's and remembers my parents fondly from her Shoney's and Cracker Barrel days.  They always wanted HER when we went there.  Los Portales has done some remodeling and is looking really good!  Speedy is my go to.  You can't beat it for five bucks.  

I've been watching live video of my friend Billy Garrett on the Gulf Coast.  I hope it doesn't turn out to be the monster they say it is.  This ruined a lot of people's fall break plans plus a lucrative time for the tourism industry.  You can't fool mother nature.  

I'm learning a bit of law today and how state law is dependent on federal funding of roadways etc.  As usual, the feds are in control no matter what the state thinks.  Thanks Obama.  

They are still at it with the beans out here.  It's gonna be mighty quiet when they're done.  My allergies are beyond terrible and the skeeters are awful which I don't understand because it hasn't rained and I haven't seen a one 'til this past week.  

Y'all be careful out there.  And do the next right thing ^j^

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

halloween memories

Back in the day when I was a kid at Alice Thurmond Elementary we actually called it a "halloween festival". Somewhere along the long that became politically incorrect and turned into fall festival.  I remember winning first place in the costume contest one year when my creative mother dressed me as an honest to goodness cotton bale made out of a cardboard box.  I couldn't sit the whole time!!  Pate street was a safe one back then so we would hit the doors of every house around.  At home, we never had a single trick or treater  because of where we lived.  Our yard never got rolled, at least not until Lauren was a teenager.  The Autry family did us that honor!  I was the original party mom so there were always scads of kids hanging out around here.  At one gathering some heathern busted my pumpkin out in the road.  At yet another gathering, Christopher Moody busted his head on the steps coming up from the basement where the chalk graffiti still is visible.  Lord, what was I thinking!

Today is the last day to register to vote.  I hope that you are already registered and educated on what's at stake.  There's a lot of theory flying around about Haley's movivation to resign as our ambassador to the UN.  I may be naive, but I believe that she got tired of trying to defend us to the rest of the world.  That's one tough gig.

Michael is approaching and already causing flooding and storm surge prior to landfall.  Unless he changes his mind, the Gulf Coast is in for an ass whooping.  It's hot and windy here as a cool front approaches.  The rain will probably be short lived but the temps will drop beautifully.  Finally!

Y'all keep on believing ^j^

Monday, October 8, 2018

monday blues

I woke up teary and dizzy this  morning, probably because I took a whole blood pressure pill yesterday.  Won't do that again.  For some reason ( probably the movie i saw ) I felt compelled to send a message to my family and friends concerning my final wishes.  I just wanted them all to be on the same page about my situation which is no life insurance.  It won't take much to do what I want.  Bubba called  me this morning asking if I was planning on going sometime soon.  This from the one who already has his stone in place!  There is no need for a will because I have no assets.  Maybe that's what got me to crying.  I did at one time own a house and sold it to move to a lifetime of rental here on the farm so that BG could grow up in the country.  It's been very expensive over the years but I'm still glad I did it.  

Ashley at the chicken store told me that Patterson Brothers has closed up shop and is going up for auction.  Her daddy was one of the brothers and she said he looked just like Ray, the one who got murdered doing a good deed.  I remember like it was yesterday when I walked out of church and found the place covered in crime scene tape where Ray had been found knifed to death by a guy who was on the run and had killed others.  Eerie feeling.  They caught him later that day.  I'm sure he got life so we will be caring for him for the rest of his days in prison.  

I have friends who were sitting right smack in the middle of the path of Hurricane Michael so they are on the run.  Looks like the Carolinas will get slammed again too. The temps here are supposed to drop about 40 degrees by the end of the week.  It's strange because normally the leaves are changing by now but they're just shriveling up and dying.  Too much heat and too much rain at the wrong times I reckon.  

There is a lengthy debate going on a post that I put up and I'm just staying out of it.  It's satire and I love that like comedy.  Ain't that right Rusty Myers? Some people will argue another into the ground just for kicks.  That was not the intention of Facebook but, whatever.  I share what I share and if you don't like can still like me.  I'm not into the whole arguing thing.  

Maybe I just needed a good cry, ya think?

Sunday, October 7, 2018

pass the popcorn

It's been years since I actually went to the theater to see a movie but I wasn't about to miss A Star is Born.  Both the music and acting were superb plus there were a few tears shed.  There is something to be said for sitting in the dark watching a big screen.  No distractions, just the story.  Carol met me there and we were astounded at the cost of popcorn and a coke ( 23 bucks) so it's a good thing I had a corn dog beforehand.  The price of admission can't be beat though.  4.99 until after four.  My main takeaway was their honorable treatment of addiction as a disease.   Which is totally is.  Nobody is at fault.  You gotta' want to get better.

I missed a chance to fly this morning because I was asleep when Beth's text came.  Maybe next time.  I have SNL to look forward to.  I love me some YouTube and mine isn't even red.  It gives me the convenience to watch what I want to see at a convenient time, especially with late night comedy.  The days of October are slipping by quickly and it looks like we will have bonefire weather by reunion time.  Bring it, I say.  Ninety five degrees in October is NOT normal.  Thanks Obama.

Over and out from the lane.  Keep on keepin' on

Saturday, October 6, 2018

in the mist

I rarely remember my dreams.  I woke up in a panic this morning because I had been dreaming that the law showed up wanting to search my house. I'm all bad and stuff.  They didn't have a warrant so I refused to let them in and they were about to get nasty when I delivered the ultimatum:  "I need to call my lawyer."  Now, I have one close attorney friend that I have no doubt, no matter what time of day or night I called, would answer the phone.  He has done his share of pro-bono work over the years in the form of unofficial guidance on a number of things and we usually end up talking about everything in the world.  There are a few more, one not even licensed, who would be there for me in a heartbeat.  I have no idea where this dream came from but it was vivid and I was freaked out.  Ellie woke me up wanting to go outside.

Lauren sent me a pic last night of  Reaves in the little red rocking chair.  Priceless.  It was given to Lauren by my mother when she was Reaves age and got broken in one spot.  Cousin Mo got it fixed and painted both Reaves and Lauren's names on it.  To die for cute.  You care barely walk in there for all the toys.  I took Cathy's little table and chairs and she really was  intrigued with that.  There was a sock monkey from Mamye that went into the inflatable ball pit where she likes to hang out.  

It's fall festival time and I bought some brownies at the Holice Powell king's bake sale before I went in to the 'gentral.  I left my readers in Jackson and must have.  The girl at the checkout said "You know there's some on your head right?"  The guy behind me just about lost it.  I  have two kinds of for driving and one very strong reader.  The cashier told me that when her mother died she found 40 pair of reading glasses in a drawer!

Something very strange happened yesterday and it kind of startled me.  My friend Amy has been dead for about 2 weeks and all of a sudden her name popped up on messenger,  I clicked on it and was actually able to read that conversation between us about our employer.  Talk about shivers!  I think it was her way of letting me know she loves me from heaven.  Also, somebody was on her

Fall break is over for some and starting for others.  I drool at the beach views I've been seeing.  I will go next year if I have to turn tricks on the street corner to get the  money.  Hide and watch. I rolled by the cabin today and through carefully sidestepping the snake skin in the kitchen.  It's so quiet in there without the whir of saws.  I came home from there the other day with about a 12 inch square chunk of the mantel.  My creative side jumped on it.

Let's get past this Kavanaugh thing and love one another.  Just like with Trump, it is what it is.  All of us didn't ask for it, but a majority did so there ya' go.  I'm staying positive in spite of it all.  Life is about more than who's in office.

Carry on young people ~ Frances Yarbro

Friday, October 5, 2018

the worm turns

Reaves and I watched soap operas which was a nice distraction even though I didn't know who was screwing whom.  My grandmother used to call it "watching her stories."  She was asleep when I got there and Lauren was gone when she woke up and she was not happy with that.  I got her a hash brown at Micky D's and she didn't want any part of it.  She intermittently giggled with delight, howled with anger and everything in between.  I ended up giving her two bottles not knowing that she's on whole milk now.  People stopped by and every time one of them walked away she started wailing.  Just not a good day.  She has a rash from the enterovirus..tiny little red specks.  Having that and strep together can't be fun.  Lauren too.  

I just tuned in to find that Phil Bredesen who is in a hotly contested race with Marsha Blackburn for a Senate seat has unofficially "endorsed" Kavanaugh.  That being said, he does not have access to the FBI investigation results or anything else that sitting senators have.  That was not a very smart thing to do four weeks out from an election.  That's all I'm gonna' say.  And yes, I will still vote for him.  Let's just get the damn thing over with and look ahead.  

I really am not a fan of the two party system and never have been.  But hey....that's where the money flows.  And the money is how you get your name out there.  Billions are spent on campaigns each season. Imagine if we were to have independents and or progressives who don't get the partisan money?  They don't stand a chance.  I did not vote for Trump but I did not vote for Hillary either.  Sanders got my vote.  

Every little government from city and county all the way to the top is pretty much a good old boys' club.  It's just the way things roll in this country.  What I would give to have somebody like Jimmy Stewart as Mr Smith in Washington.  No, a whole BUNCH of them could stop the madness.  

Over the years, our voices as citizens have been lost, hijacked by big money and big media.  End of story.  I try to be optimistic that it's not gonna all blow up but in my heart, I know it will.  But I sure won't go down without a fight.

Keep the faith ^j^ 

Thursday, October 4, 2018

a day with mamye

Mamye needed to leave her car at Don's shop in Newbern so we met at FUMC and did the caravan thing up there.  It's a typical shop with cars and motorcycles, bottles of oil lined against the wall.  He's a racer at heart and has done Sturgis times whatever, Bonneville Salt Flats and so much more.  His team is Scatty racing.  We all go way back.  Mamye bought me lunch at Coby Jo's  and we headed on out toward Fowlkes.  There were a couple of other stops but we won't mention them, right Michelle?

I get to be grammaw tomorrow and I can't wait.  I still have birthday presents to deliver.  I feel very blessed to be friends with the people who are her tribe so that I get to see that sweet smile every day.  I figure the table and chairs will come in handy soon since art is essential.  I don't care if your a truck drivin' gun totin' sonofagun.  There's just something about creating an image that frees the soul.

My sister Helen called from OK City just to catch up and it took about two hours.  We talked about all things political, family and in between.  She, her cousin Janet and I were all the same age.  We talked about Mommy's house and her china which they shall have for Thanksgiving dinner.  I do so love me some tradition.

Front steps were halfway done this morning.  I think those guys hate it when I come up exploring with my phone cam.'s part of the gig and I'm pimping you out!  I'm considering spending the night on that deck in a sleeping bag just for fun but i'd never make it without a toilet.  

Come together ~Right now

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

civil discourse

As expected there's a lot of chatter about Kavanaugh and who knows what's up with Rosenstein.  My personal opinion is that the conservatives tried to push it through with a quick vote unlike when Obama nominated Garland and it was never brought to a vote.  That bothers me a lot about this deal. I'm no defaming the man or calling him guilty or innocent.  I just believe that all the hoorah is dividing us further while the monkeys are out running the circus.  I don't care how much beer he drinks.  The way his accuser was treated by the party in power was disgusting.  

Many people think the #metoo movement is about women wanting to bash people's reputations.  I see it as the power of collective voices of women who have been abused and were afraid to speak out about it.  Even when reported, rape depends on DNA evidence which dies quickly so if there isn't an immediate kit done, there is no evidence but one person's word against another.  My late friend was raped by her father and told the truth at some point.  The entire family turned on her and stayed that way until her death because he committed suicide after she came out.  That, is why people don't come forward.

My day is made of simple things now.  Trips to town once a day, a visit or two here and there.  I'm still dealing with Ellie things like shredded toilet paper and car chasing but she's on a learning curve.  I need a good leash so I can walk her.  That girl is fast as greased lightning when she runs wide open.  Sam and Oscar are both asleep by my feet.  What a little tribe we are.

My next two days are booked so this one is all about me.  Y'all play nice, please?  The only way we will ever survive is to meet in the middle.


Tuesday, October 2, 2018

why come forward

I met Lorna at Coby Jo's for brunch and got the special.  It's been so long that I've had mashed potatoes and gravy I can't tell you.  Fried okra.  Lima beans.  Hamburger steak. With gravy!  We have discovered that the best time is between 1030 and 11 to beat the crowd.  She had a box of clothes for me from Ann which I have yet to dig into.  I stopped by the cabin before I came home and found Johnny and Billy hard at work.  It's simply amazing.  At the Dock I found four black boards sitting outside and asked Mike if I could have them.  They'll make cool craft projects.  There are four tiny pane windows left to be replaced.  Now THOSE will be rare.  

Reaves is still sick so back to the doctor she goes.  Fairly high fever off and on.  Bless dat baby and her mama too.  If I had my way, we would all be in a tiny house on the beach playing.  Maybe next year.

There is great healing that accompanies coming forward.  If you have a tribe close enough to trust, talk about  your abuse, whatever kind.  The release of pain with each telling is worth being vulnerable.  I grew up during the era where you "didn't talk about those things."  That was what it was but it's different now.  It doesn't have to be made public.  Just find a counselor who is willing to hear your stories and lead you through them.  I also grew up in a time when you didn't talk about mental illness or addiction but kept it in the closet.  Every family has a story  like that.  

It would be easy to give up hope right now because of the circus atmosphere.  He said.  She said.  Trump says.  When he ridiculed that reporter I about lost it.  Very un-presidential and passive aggressive.  Folks who are not concerned are not really paying attention to the big picture.  

Just saying ^j^

Monday, October 1, 2018

alrighty then

Todays snicker was over Trump calling the Democrats out for being "mean and vicious" for treating poor Kavanaugh so badly during the hearing.  Um.  I watched it and I didn't see much except for Democratic requests for more time to review the documents, all requests respectfully submitted to Grassley.  This is not about Brett's drinking history.  Heck, by some people's standards I'm a drunk.  It is about his lying about what happened under oath.  This kind of blame game is what is tearing this country apart at the seams.  I have a lot of Republican friends and they treat me with respect.  Trumpsters, do not.  

We had a nice round table discussion yesterday at Casa Poops including Mamye, Steve and Rick Campbell.  Lord have mercy y'all.  What a wonderful time we  had reliving the past.  Rick just dropped by and I almost didn't know him until he got close.  The dogs went nuts ( of course ) so I have no doubt that if anybody tries to sneak up on me, the canine alarms will go off.

I ran by the hospital today and bumped into one of my old friends who is a pilot.  I told him I'd been looking for a plane ride and he said he would call next time he's over that way.  As the crow flies we live about a mile apart with the airport and golf course in between.  I'll probably freak out because I've never been in a small plane.  It's on my bucket list though!

So is a Forked Deer river float.  I'd love to explore the area around the farm.  Reunion invitations are in the mail as of today.  Patsye discovered that we had sent three to deceased class members.  I hope their families understand we did our best.  

I need to see my girls so I'll be cruising up 412 one day this week.  That baby girl is growing like a weed and has such a sweet and happy smile.  Until she gets pissed.  She can throw an all out running Stafford fit in a heartbeat.  

Y'all remember who you are.