Saturday, January 31, 2015

pajama party

THE very best thing about a day off to me is the luxury of staying in flannel and flip flops while catching up with the world outside of Pecan Lane. Most of that consists of people that I've never met in person but know by heart. I've heard all kinds of horror stories about how people have social media withdrawals and it's a thing, I assure you. My friend went through those withdrawals and more when she started treatment. Detox is about more than just drugs! To some sex is a drug and to others it's a certain mindset. The bottom line is that there's some dysfunction going on big time when you allow one facet of life to take over all others. At one time I was addicted to the sawmill always living vicariously through the drama of saving lives and "helping" people. No more, buddy. That was 30 years ago and I'm tired.

I just glanced out the window to see that Chester is back with the pack for a visit and this time there's no puppy threat so I'll just let 'em romp. He's quite a handsome fellow and has very good manners. I was looking through old pics this morning and ran across the one of Paige the dog catcher putting a very huge great dane into the cab of her truck because he wouldn't fit in the bay. His name escapes me, but he was Faith's one and only baby daddy, thus Ryder's huge ears. I'm telling you, this shit cannot be made up!

There is a white board kind of thing happening on this desk as I jump headfirst into the next chapter. Nobody ever makes money from writing or photography unless they do it by trade so I must find another way to make my fortune in the off chance that Sugardaddy never shows up. If I were a determined sort I'd find a Superbowl party and jump up in there to pretend that I care mix and mingle with the single men. I think I'll just watching House of Cards again and finish the laundry. The dining room will be minus a baby bed today plus a lot of other stuff because we have to get the handyman to fix the door onto that cute little porch. The lock is ancient and it won't even close now so we have a tablecloth stuffed in to keep it shut. Once again....cannot be made up.

It's been almost two years since my cousin Debbie died and it still doesn't seem real that she's not around to share the love of all those grandchildren. Neely looks a whole lot like she did as a baby and that makes me smile. Her older brothers are all boy so she will grow up knowing how to survive rough and tumble. They will watch her back and make sure she's safe from all the bad guys. And someday she will look at of pictures of her grandmother and wonder who she was. I hope I'm around to tell her.

Peace out~

Friday, January 30, 2015

pure ramble

Well thank my lucky stars and pass the MichU because it's Friday afternoon and I have two days off to restclean house and do laundry. I know..y'all so wish you were me and Mahala since we know all the ins and outs of making it 'til payday in an effed up US of America land that we love. I'm mighty glad to not have to listen to Mittens for the next year or so but Scott Walker and Paul Ryan scare the shit out of me so I guess that leaves Fat Bastard and Rand. If Haslam had the money (and he does, I've been told) he could get up in that race too since he's all loving Medicaid expansion now and Lord knows they're all in a twit over it. Our state has a smattering of Dems and zero independents making decisions about healthcare for one of the poorest states in the nation which is home to the top two for-profit healthcare corporations in our country. You do the math.

In honor of Rodney P. Williams, LCSW I just have to say "here's the thing...." I began my career in a hospital before HIV was even discovered to be rampant in our population. The blood supply was at risk and nobody knew it until several high profile people died from transfusions like tennis pro Arthur Ash. HepC was known as "nonA,nonB" and turned out to be the big one liverwise. The lookback process for all that when testing began was a nightmare for all involved. After that came NAT and you can be sure now that blood is as safe as it can be when it's being processed for the right reasons. Take the Red Cross, for instance. This national organization which does a kickass job with disaster relief and recovery somewhere along the line decided that bigger is better and attempts to drive community blood centers out of the market when, in fact, the locals are the ones saving lives by being 30 minutes away and not in NashVegas or Memphis. As long as I live the staff at Lifeline Blood Services in Jackson will be my heroes. That means you too Joe.

The snowdrops are up and cute as hell and the buttercups outside our bathroom window have buds so there's that to be grateful for! blizzard. And got some propane left. Plus celebratory things for the celebration that is about to begin. Whenever I get all disgusted with the state of things I remember the code that all healthcare peeps should live by. Do no least not intentionally or for greed. Fingerstick glucose monitoring and a focus on healthy nutrition could solve half the burden on the entire system.

Believe ^j^

Thursday, January 29, 2015


As we all know it's Thursday but I've been throwing back with old pictures all week so I'll pass on that one. It's too much trouble to hook up the damn scanner plus it's cold and it's ladies night. PLUS babygirl is cooking! She gave me this candle for Christmas that smells like caramel and I dug it out of the jar and still burn that stuff every day. Caramel cayenne maybe? Since it's almost payday and there might be some left I got some organic coconut oil at a twofer price plus there's beer and peppermint scented epsom salts and Voila!...perfect evening. Low maintenance has my picture on Wiki. Go Google it if you don't believe me.

So I talked to my "here's the thing" therapist today only to find that he's retired and wishes us well but his hands are full with grandchildren. As an LCSW contracted with EAP he guided us through some very tough times over the years. He gave me a name for a friend in need and off he went to play with the baby. That's what's up y'all. Screw Benghazi and Iraq and the two party system and Fred freakin' Phelps and ISIL?S. At the rate the destruction of our earth is going none of that will matter because nobody can afford to travel. The science is real and the people who deny that are ill advised. Carbon emissions are deadly to both flora and fauna. I finally understand that right at the time gas is a buck eightyish. Just.My.Luck.

I tried calling Mama before the news but her line was busy and I know better than to call the house phone anywhere in the vicinity of 4PM. I understand now that my father's rigid schedule including the news is an attempt to control a situation that is about to be out of his ADL skill set, so to speak. Truth be told, it already is. We are one more hospital visit away from life as we will have to figure out. A dear friend is dealing with her own situation that involves an elderly mother in her home who needs help while she's working. It's hard to know who to trust in those situations and that's why I'm glad Lori is on board with us. A mutual friend of ours stopped by yesterday and we talked farm history. Seems as if his grandaddy was the crazy part Indian guy who lived in a school bus across from PecanLane. His memories were all of kerosene and gas. He's amazed the bus didn't blow up. Martin was a horse man by trade and I remember looking at him in awe for his bizarre lifestyle. Small world.

Somebody is gonna have a beautiful home when the remodel down the road is done and I hope it's somebody who won't complain about my dogs or the occasional grass fire. If they're nice I'll share some fresh asparagus. I'm counting the days y'all. Counting the days! Call your mother unless it will confuse her more and if that's the case just celebrate another day in paradise.

Carry on~

Wednesday, January 28, 2015


Is it just me or does anybody else wonder what Snowden's up to? I mean the MSM was all OVER his ass forever until the focus shifted to blaming Obama and mid-terms. Then, just poof! I hope he's not still in the airport is all I can say. I figure he's out there spreading truth and the global way which is when you tell the truth about your country and their ways, you will be chased. The whole coming out of that bunch of journalists was amazing to me and though I never read their findings word for word I get the concept that people who carry extra flash drives can exit pretty quickly when the shit hits the fan. If it were me? I wouldn't trust this government for anything right now except maybe my partial tax refund which damn well better hit the bank soon or I'm screwed. I mean like...bad. BG's hours got cut at the BBQ pit so she's exploring other options and so am I. People will set the bar high and urge you to keep your chin up and then expect it all the time. I'm a poster girl, ya' know. Loyalty should always count but unfortunately George Bailey got scrooged and so do we. It's so amazing to think about my history with the sawmill not just with me but my entire family. My youngest brother was an EMT before he was a law officer. Gaga was an employee who got forced to retire at 70 when the non-profit bought us. She became a Pink Lady on a mission and the entire volunteer program took off later adding men called Redcoats and ICCU hostesses. My daddy pushed a wheelchair carrying patients to and fro for many years while Mama and his sisters served as pinks and hostesses regular as clockwork until they retired. My fav since Daddy, Mr. Buck, retired last week, god love him. They're the same age. Daddy got mad when corporate moved their sitting place away from X-ray and never went back. The red coat is still in my closet as testimony, right next to the pink one and the wedding dress I almost sold for 25 bucks. Live and learn.

I'm happy to hear that conservatives are listening to women about their own bodies (ahem) because we've got bigger fish to fry than overturning a SCOTUS decision that came down when I was in high school. I'm almost 60, by the way. The more I see religion all up in politics, the more I shake my head and watch Breaking Bad or House of Cards. I mean jeez y'all...take it to church and keep it there. If you know the ten commandments they don't have to be posted at the courthouse. Honor thy father and mother. Do not adulter (is that a word?). Do not kill. I'm not sure where the seven deadly sins comes in but I dare say greed should be #1 especially when the Kochs have hand picked Scott Walker as their boy. I can't wait 'til Pope Francis gets a'hold of that bunch.

There is a new cat hanging around here that looks kind of huge and black and the doggies smooth ran that dude up a tree right before sunset yesterday. Chester got out of jail today and didn't show up so that all seems to have blown over thank goodness. All we need is another litter of puppies. I've been going through pics trashing the ones of the ground and my knee and ran across some vintage ones from the kudzu bar which, as Idgie can tell you, is a real thing and I have proof. It sits on the business route into Dyersburg right next to the Forked Deer and the kudzu almost ate the whole building before TimmyD took over. Several businesses behind it were totaled by the back to back Southtown floods and they're back in shape just in time for spring rains. There's a really cool iron bridge back behind that was formerly for foot traffic and, I suppose, cars back in the day. I bet I've taken a kazillion pictures from that spot.

So here's the thing about that bar and what it means to me. It was mostly, for a long time, strictly a men's den with the dailies showing up for roll call and an occasional woman and her girlfriends stopping by to celebrate a birthday or something. There were pool tables and dart games and eventually a dance stage, complete with poles, for those who dared like Yaya. And me. And Redneck Friend. And a whole bunch of others! Ladies night had dollar beer until they hiked it to 1.50 and I was pretty much outta' there. I can have a dolla' beer at home. We had fun there..bonded and kept up with family. We also pulled pills had fun parties and flirted and then all went home to the other life because that's what you do, right? Beverly has the voice of an angel and she was the last owner prior to Tim. The clientele is loyal and it's a safe place where people watch your back. Plus there's a nice patio!

Some friends of mine lost a friend this week and I could tell you a lot of stories about that whole thing but I won't because people can't tell fact from fiction anymore. Fortunately one can no longer be dooced.

Peace and love and rock'n'roll ^j^

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

higher power

Lorna and I had the best stream of consciousness chat yesterday about Lake Co peeps including one very interesting fellow that I recently met. All of our families have been high (and low) rollers in the tiny pond type of mentality that is society in a small southern town where most money is inherited and blown without a second thought to the starving children in Africa, or even the ones next door. We were both raised with family, though not slaves, servants that were handed down over the generations. Ours was Miss Rosie who wore a paper bag on her head from time to time. There was scads of money involved and it's all gone now but for a time, our families were the upper crust. Post WWII was a good time for most everybody and that's when a lot of women ventured into the workplace for the first time to pay for all that shiny "stuff" that came with an economic comeback. There were bridge and garden clubs and one generic that was simply "the woman's club" of Dyersburg, of course. My great grandfather Oscar Hamilton was a grocer on the side of town next to the railroad tracks which is now known as "shady" on a good day. KW Rogers was the owner I believe. He walked to work from Pate street and my great grandma Ethel was known to stand on the porch yelling at him as he marched toward real life and away from her uptight self.

I love Alternet because I like reading other sides to a story and the piece that caught my attention today addressed the issue of addiction and the dismal success rate for 12 steppers. Now before anybody gets offended let me say that I'm one of them on several issues and so far I'm functioning but only because I have a good support system and a solid knowledge of the rehab process. Addiction when seen as a "disease" is paid for by (you guessed it) big insurance usually. If somebody uses in response to a shitty life, for example, company dollars pay for that treatment. If not, the government(s) and private donors finance centers that usually run 4-6 weeks in length. Now that's a reasonable period of time to be working a program but the trouble comes when the recently reborn addict hits the streets again and finds the same triggers as before: i.e. friends who use, shitty job/marriage/financial situation/etc. Ninety meetings in 90 days is a nice thought but it usually doesn't work with the whole getting re-integrated picture. Seasoned addicts will tell you that there's a "character defect" behind every addiction that will still be there when the using stops, and they're right. Only I prefer to play Pollyanna and see it as "bad situation" that is a reason to get sober or at least get a grip. Back in the 80's when I attended my first meeting of CoDA it was held in the classroom of our very own inpatient treatment center that was for 2 weeks because that's all insurance would pay. That went away pretty quick with intake and rehab shifting to the private sector. A friend of mine who knows the ropes chose her own detox place and headed to Memphis to a recovery center where she promptly came back to the 'burg and did what she had been doing before. Court mandated programs are a hotbed of who can get what from whom and most of them don't give a damn. The success rate for addicts is about 10% on a good day and the court monitoring of these folks costs a lot in drug testing and staff $$$$$. I believe it's a diversionary tactic, and it doesn't work too well but it's better than jail. Booger's mama is a graduate of said program and I'm mighty proud of her because lawwwwwwd! that girl has some stories. Life is a destination and so is recovery. One day at a time.

Talk therapy is essential to healing every sort of emotional trauma that feeds addiction including PTSD from any kind of violence whether it's sexual assault or war. I've been in therapy off and on for 27 years and I know myself well enough to know when I'm gonna' need some face or phone time. Rod is my "here's the thing" guy who has been with our family since the first divorce and knows the whole deal. EAP paid for the last round and then cut me off because I wasn't in "crisis" anymore. Umm, yeah right. I still owe him too right next to propane guy and the florist and all will be paid eventually. It's the new me, you know. I stopped by a gallery on Court square yesterday and visited with the owners asking about terms and whatnot. One I've known all my life and the other is a local that I had never met. Like I told my friend Jayyyroe, I'm ready for something different 'cuz the day job is killing me.

Don't worry~Be happy

Sunday, January 25, 2015

the hallelujah chorus

That is what I am silently singing today after hooking my mama up with her new best friend who loves to read and is a United Methodist to boot. Plus she knows old people and appreciates that they just want someone to listen and care. Lest ye think that home care delivery is fractured, let me point out that the provider that serves them has provided excellent service via Regional Home Care. Lori and I have worked together for years serving the sick and elderly in our local cluster of "call centers." She is in good enough physical shape to help Mom and has the training. I'm down with that, if you know what I mean. Daddy called after passing her in the door to see if I'm off next Sunday. I did so miss my cheesy hashbrowns today but got the garbage hauled.

I was in a firebug kind of mood yesterday and all the fields are wet and planted in wheat so it seemed the perfect time to burn off the asparagus half the yard like in old times. I know from experience it will stop when it hits the asphalt. BG got all scared that I would burn the house down and hooked up the water hose which was still running this morning. I did mess with the gods a bit and burned some books that have been riding under my seat for a year thus the spread of said grass fire. It was fun watching it burn out from my bed with dogs and stuff to keep warm. Kind of a redneck pyrotechnic display.

Speaking of which, you know how we all have those recurring dreams that start in childhood or just kind of stick with you until they become reality? If not, just bear with me. I dreamed a lot of times that I was taking a bath in a porcelain tub as the log cabin burned around me but I wasn't scared. Another favorite was about the Lee place where there was an ancient long gone barn and an imaginary house that I dreamed had three stories of treasure just waiting to be picked. There were gilt edged china pieces stacked willy nilly wrapped in vintage 1940s faded pieces of cloth. I remember climbing to the third floor after much effort and catching a view of the Forked Deer river that runs just beside. There was a big levee there at the time, but I'm no so sure now. Time has passed and dreams have faded.

The Bizzle family was rooted out here as well as Gerald Brandon and the entire Son Johnson clan. Mr. Quinn had strawberry fields that people would drive for and I can guarantee you that back then it was organic and labor intensive. Manual's house sat back next to the river right off Samaria Bend and history tells about a bar back there named Cotton's. Well, actually a bootlegger's place, truth be told. My ex husband's father was killed there, as a matter of fact. Back when I was writing a "book" instead of a blog, I did a fictional piece about that den of sin hidden in a cotton patch.

Boogs is here and about to nap with Toy Story and TT. Not sure what's on my agenda except for turning up the heat a bit. Keep the faith~

Saturday, January 24, 2015

throw zoie to the train

I finally managed to find the first 2 discs of House of Cards Season 2 at Hastings, for rent. Of course I had already gotten a spoiler alert about how Zoie met her horrific end but it was still powerful. Especially seeing how the rest of them started running around scared! Frank Underwood is not one to cross, if you know what I mean. And this morning I see a really talented and sweet Kevin Spacey playing the harmonica along with Billy Joel on "Piano Man." Who knew? Dude plays Underwood to.the.hilt. and I see him as the usual in Congress therefore, I give up. Nah..not really. I just know what's up and that unless a whole helluva lot more people than me stand up, it's useless. Or it's Obama's fault, depending whichever side of the fence you live on.

My youngest brother and I have a kind of cosmic connection where we can text across the miles and catch up now and then by phone when the kids are asleep or occupied. I caught him early this morning and we chatted for an hour about everything ranging from tea tree oil to home schooling. He got an earful of Daddy when Mom was trying to have a conversation with him the other night which we all know happens on a regular basis when she gets on the phone and BLESS HER HEART that's the only escape she has from the 24/7 news he's got blaring. *sigh* I gave up on that one awhile ago when they passed on the options. So that is how Lori has come to be the Sunday go to girl. Tony has Daddy tomorrow so I reckon us three girls will become acquainted and learn the ropes. I predict she will fall totally in love with the log cabin like everybody else does at first sight.

Flu season has backed off a bit thank goodness but that doesn't mean we quit testing for it...oh NO! I'm just thrilled to have two days off in a row even if it is cold. Maybe I'll get the house clean and laundry done if I'm not tempted with warm weather to play in the dirt. Or not. Time will tell, as they say. My tax return is filed and if the IRS doesn't get greedy I may have some left to pay off the loan shark and Cadi. I have already paid in interest the amount that I borrowed on it plus some but I refuse to let it go down that way. That car is a masterpiece of American autmotive history and will make some owner very happy if they have the time and $$ to keep it running.'s gotten BG around for a couple of years and that's a miracle. It had to have two tires last week, by the way. We're still unsure if Chester got to Ryder but time will tell on that as well. I certainly am not in the mood to birth more puppies but at least I know how this time around. When Faith had her litter there were not many alive and we watched one little handicapped baby die trying to move around on a gimp leg. This was probably due to Faith's ripe old age of 10 having her first kids. Lerd.

I didn't watch the SOTU but have heard many good things about what a comedian our POTUS is when he's got the camera. Personally, I think it was a perfect response to the asshats who showed disrespect. That is not what my country stands for y'all. As for Chris Kyle? It is well documented that he was a liar so don't get all up in the air about the movie not depicting truth. My army mom friend explained it all to me because she read the book. It's all the judgement calling that pisses me off. It's a freakin MOVIE people.

Gotta' get busy piddling because this too, shall pass.


Thursday, January 22, 2015


I haven't been to the dentist since mine cut me off and sent me to collections over half the cost of a bridge. To be fair, the office manager was on a mission and it pissed her off that i dared not honor the terms of my agreement. I've known several like that, including at the hand surgeon's office. When I thanked her one day in the grocery store for not turning me over she said "girl, I know what you've got going on!" Dental insurance is rather inexpensive but doesn't pay much so one major bad tooth in a year and it's coming out of your pocket. Medical insurance covers 80% at least, but the markup is astounding. I still owe almost a thousand bucks after insurance to the guy who did my shoulder. His folks are getting antsy too but hopefully worker comp will pick that one up. If not he can just stand in line like poor propane guy. I am less in debt to him than at any time in recent history and that makes me smile, as I'm sure it does him. Dude wouldn't let me freeze and even delivered on Christmas Eve one year. The longest summer I ever remember is when we were out and couldn't cook fried green tomatoes. Anyway, I've got an aching tooth so I've gotta' find somebody.

Mom has new help coming on Sunday morning and is surprisingly okay with it. I think she's afraid too, of falling with nobody around. Daddy can't help but at least he can call me to call 911! I've lost count of trips to the ER over the past few years. Thankfully I work there so it's been easier for us than for most, which is where customer service begins..with understanding the dynamics of a particular situation and not just treating blindly. Families bring a whole lot of drama up in there that tends to wear down practitioners in time. I'm a poster child for that disorder and have about four burnouts under my belt.

So. I got my W2 today and it looks like I made a whole lot more money than last year plus I owe them for two years back so there you go. No refund on Pecan Lane this year. That's a shame since this aching tooth needs attention like BAD. Always the Pollyanna, I refuse to believe that if I don't just brush them every day and get a good night's sleep things will be better in the morning. Mama told me that by the way and sometimes it's true. Other times?'s just gray and gloomy. We're all settling in for the current installment of the SADD festival, hopefully the last of the season. I've got buttercups coming up on the south bank and I just know they're gonna' get bit.


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

children one and all

Bound for me I'm still attempting to sift through boxes and piles of my life and make sure no important thing goes to the firepile except sometimes by mistake. I have danced around more than one piece of cheap foam couch as the noxious fumes threatened to poison the entire neighborhood and possibly even kill the wheat. After years of that sort of country behavior, the place is finally almost clean. It took me a solid ten years to landscape and clean out the basement/attic/sheds/etc. That wood is forever gone, framing a picture somewhere of somebody else's memory. And that? Is my dream as a photographer. It works well with the writing piece, don't you think? There will be recipes but a bit more than just directions. I was raised on food cooked by hired African American domestic workers just like in the Oprah movie. Thanks to my mother, there's a picture somewhere of Miss Rosie with a paper bag on her head.

Ethel's car was a faded out white coupe with a red top and we would go to the dime store in it when I was a kid because she loved birds. Woolworth had a soda fountain and a little bit of everything so that was a big adventure for us. Back where the birds lizards and such...goldfish..did their own thing waiting for some animal lover to come along and buy them. I never had to buy a lizard because we had plenty around the cracks in the back porch poking out their little beady eyes to scare me to death. Always with the blue tails too.

It was cooler today, enough to wear a jacket against the breeze and the sun wasn't around much. One more day and it's back to our usual January chill but by golly it won't be long until the flowers start popping up and I can't WAIT!! Snowdrops first, then crocus. After that it's a crapshoot as to what gets bit. Last year was a real amazing one in that everything bloomed at once in April when it (finally) got warm. Here in West TN we are used to moderate Februaries and windy Marches plus spring floods on occasion.

We had a group hug at the sawmill today and I was delighted to head home to the lane for an evening prior to a day off to sleep and do whatever I want to visit my parents. And the local storefront for ATT to get some help with our current phone situation. If karma is on my side there is insurance on the stolen one and it can be replaced for a 50 buck deductible. I'm thinking positive, if you know what I mean. As much as that bill is one would certainly expect a replacement. It's just a mini, gah.

So, all in all life is good. There will always be terrorists and war because after all it IS biblical. I saw this widely posted pic of the British jihadist who cuts everybody's head off and he had these two Japanese guys in the Gitmo suits all looking scared to death and I said to myself "self..this guy is going straight to hell." No ifs, ands or buts in my book. Gotta' run. Obama's calling on my smartphone.


Monday, January 19, 2015

the state of my union

It was day 4 at the sawmill and one for the record books again being a Monday and all. Plus there's that raging Ebola like virus that's either flu or GI or both and everybody's trying real hard not to get sick but they do anyway. Especially the ones of us who get COUGHED on when you come up in there because you have flu symptoms and it's peak season for that shit. Not that I don't appreciate the job security, you know. Tamiflu is not very effective if you're already almost dying so tough it out with fluids and rest and a few ibuprofen. Please spare the rest of the world your coughing hacking self in the grocery store/bank/loan shark's office and all other places where your fellow people hang out. At least 50% of my creditors called today while I was working and I just lined 'em up for breaks and a chat. Things have looked dark before, but I'm in a hole so deep there may not be a way out.

Speaking of world health problems, I kind of "bit" on the vaxxer thing at first until I started seeing the horrible results of children getting previously wiped out diseases and remember how sick I was when I had mumps and measles. And chicken pox! There's your cure for shingles right there y'all. From a public health point of view it's a nightmare waiting to happen. Remember the Spanish flu and all those other cholera type thingies that killed brazillions of people? In a little cemetery down the road there are children buried who likely died from one of those horrible viral illnesses back in the day. I was required to get a polio vaccine to enter med tech school and had a helluva' time getting one because they were being phased out. Good old Sara Miller at the DCHD got me hooked up. She died recently but not before a brand new public health building was constructed in her honor. She had this really cute son that I swooned over as a young one in the bars. It's a Tigrett thing.

Everything is so green and awesome looking and the sunsets have been to die for. I'm glad it's not gray and gloomy or I'd probably just hang myself. Heh..just kidding. I want assisted suicide dude! My dear friend Hoss did that after his wife went on to dung beetledom. I'll never forget sending him homemade (by this ho') chocolate chip cookies and a VOLS bracelet for wifey. At that point they were in a home together but after she died he remarried a previous wife and was with her until he too went to be frozen glory. I bet he can't wait to come back as a snowstorm. If he was telling the truth, he was a speechwriter for the governor of Oregon in his younger days. During our first encounter he asked about TennCare as a model. Governor Bredesen had just put it into place at the time. Of course that was before the Ford family and big pharm gutted it.

I am cautiously watching our POTUS as he poses for his party. Like Robert Reich, I wonder how much integrity it takes to stonewall for six years and kick ass for two with a REPUBLICAN congress. I mean gawd! Old Bernie is looking better and better with or without Warren. I just hopes he lives enough to inspire that "give 'em hell!" attitude in the majority. Not that this has anything to do with anything, but I just remembered this good looking guy I tried to pick up at the sawmill one time who asked the nurses "but does she have all her teeth?". He's now dying a slow death from obesity and diabetes. I'm kicking aspartame to the curb at BG's suggestion since it turns into formalde-freaking hyde in your body and I choose not be be embalmed before my time.

"Let us turn our thoughts today to Martin Luther King..." James Taylor

Sunday, January 18, 2015

i love everbody (and you're next)

WHAT a lovely day at the sawmill! I got to work with my favs and we quietly and quickly went about the business of saving lives all the while managing to not create one ounce of drama nor deal with any. When you can spend a day like that instead of dodging bullets, it's a simple but wonderful pleasure. BG's phone got either lost of stolen yesterday so she's borrowing a friend's Obama phone (shut.up.) until we can find an affordable one. This little (piece of shit) Samsung mini was a freebie and only one year into a two year contract so there you go...screwed again! My bill has been pretty stable since upping the data until lo and behold the current one is 30 bucks higher. I haven't looked yet to see what kind of trickery ATT is pulling over on me this time but I'll be ready to scrap the whole deal if somebody doesn't play nice with me. A Note would be nice but, hmmm..

An acquaintance who is about as different from me politically as night and day remarked that I post "depressing" things that appear to be anti-Christian/police/military/pretty much everything he holds near and dear. It's depressing to him because it's so different from his core values I suppose. I prefer to think of myself as more of a pro type person as in pro love, tolerance, and agree to disagree. I believe in fighting the good fight when justice is involved and I also believe that is a trademark of faithful people. I admire law enforcement that is practiced with tolerance (that word keeps popping up) for those of other faiths, sexes and income levels. And yes, there will be some crazy ones but that's no reason to go all SWAT team on everybody. When I saw the Occupy protesters being pepper sprayed I just about died yet was proud at the same time that they had the guts to get out there and make a statement. I am a believer in smaller government as in less $$$ involved in the electoral process and adequate safety nets for those who are stuck in a cycle of poverty and violence. The fund that was set up decades ago to care for me in my "golden years" is about to go broke so it looks like I'll be working 'til I die at the bench.

Mom just called because she's settling in for 60 minutes in a bit with Daddy at the remote. Right now he's watching golfon silent, she said. I wondered why it was so quiet! We spent ten minutes chatting about the weather and what we both should do like go to bed early. Yes ma'am..gladly. I encouraged her to utilize the resource of her home health care team in navigating the pharmacy piece because, hey. It's what they do and I'm over it. When she came home after two months away and had pre-packaged previously delivered meds hidden in the laundry room I knew we were in trouble. It was touch and go, I tell you. Ms Faye still cooks lunch M-F and it's always to die for. Daddy eats like a piglet and Mom nibbles at hers kinda' like I do. We like to savor.

It's a beautiful day on the lane and the temp hit 60 with a breeze which is my kind of weather. Azure skies and beautiful colors at sunset are the serendipity of mid-winter. I feel bad for all you N'oreasters what with the snow and ice. I could never live there until I get the nail pulled out of the front right Camry tire. The Cadi will probably go soon to a guy who's been in love with it since first glance if he can come up with a payoff plus down payment on something else. That car was the biggest gift I ever got outside of two years of BF and a badass camera. Anthony will be in heaven man!

Keep the faith y'all. It's what makes getting up again worth it.

Friday, January 16, 2015

chester comes a'courting

As previously mentioned Ryder is being romanced by a beautiful black male with a collar who just romps and plays with the whole herd that is decidedly intent on not letting them have alone time which is fine with me. The weather finally broke and it's a glorious sunny afternoon in the high 40s, just enough to make you think that spring will indeed come. I call them "teasers" because there will be more cold and ice but you can flat hold onto the memory of how it felt to be above freezing for a week. Weather geeks like my brother call that sort of condition "moderate" or sunny and nice. I'll take it. So I got a call from a co-worker who lives across the golf course and has cows and llamas grazing on one side and he asked if I had two black big and one little. Um..and I guess the boy is yours huh? Evidently Ryder and Faith have been playing visit the neighbors over at Chester's so he's in jail until the whole thing blows over. Thanks Pete! Oh, and Chester? Ryder adores you.

Even though I've still got many work days ahead I feel like TGIF if for no other reason than there's less people and stuff to deal with on the weekends. The phone rings less and outside agencies are off for the weekend giving us a break except for the occasional outpatient and crazy ER. I got schooled this week on what a luxury it is to scream for help and have somebody come running which is pretty humbling to a veteran practitioner like me. We're dealing with a lot of serious issues within our team which won't be resolved with mandates or rules. Being a good leader means taking your hands off the details and identifying the talent that will make your goals more attainable.

As they say "other than that I got nothing." I talked to my cousin Mo recently and we both accepted that we are in the end times of life with our parents and it's pretty tough. She has three beautiful kids and a grandson named Charlie who sang the HBD song to her all week. Mom got her hair did thanks to her 82 year old hired driver and Angel's Crown Salon. Even though she hasn't been anywhere, it has to be poofed just so.

Enjoy your weekend kids. Just don't go to the emergency room.


Thursday, January 15, 2015


We slept hard last night, all exhausted from being crazy busy at work and hard at play, in the case of the four doggies. Ryder is in heat and has a gentleman caller which will probably not have a good ending but it is what it is. If and when the money gets right she'll get a visit to the vet to stop that nonsense. She got pregnant at a year old and that's how Sophie came to be. It's really odd thinking about how she was the only one left out of Faith's lone litter...the one that eventually took her life as she lay in my lap. Pyometra is a bad way to go and an excellent reason for spaying. I've a few dogs that were "chosen" but the majority just kind of fell into my life through by not so obvious reason or another.

I've been working for almost 38 years and I must say that yesterday was one of the busiest I can ever remember in modern times. With a packed house and lots of sick folk streaming in, it was non-stop. There are a lot of reasons for all that but I'll not dwell on them because I have a day off to piddle. I'll be back there soon enough, ya' know? So here's what's on my mind today now that I'm not surrounded by people: Judgement is mine, saith the Lord. Before any of you out there choose to shame or belittle someone take a little time to examine motivation. While someone "in authority" will always be a reality, using that power to control and or humiliate someone is wrong. That applies to governments on down to the street level of humanity. I see it every day in some form or fashion and tend to avoid people who live that way if possible because I'm all live and let live. It's how I keep my sanity, plus my house has way too many windows to be throwing stones. AND there's a log in my own eye.

It's warm enough to not leave the water running now and I dread the utility bill that will come with this past few weeks of sub-freezing temps. It has stayed steady (way too high) during the winter which tells me that TVA is just slapping some numbers around because they can. At one time, the electricity was reasonable except during the hot summer months. Now it's just out the roof all the time. What began as a "temporary" surcharge to recover damage from ash spills and whatnot has turned into a permanent fixture on our monthly bills. My local provider kindly explained to me that is why they separate the charges on the bill, to reflect what their charge is and what THEIR supplier is adding on top for who knows what, now. Adding insult to injury, ATT cut my internet off yesterday over 42 bucks which isn't something you should do to someone who isn't contracted to use your service...just saying. I hear it's snowing in Lake County but nothing here yet so far. bG is on the way to Jackson to pick up her tooth which broke off of the retainer. She was born with a congenitally missing front tooth and refuses to smile naturally without something in that gap! What was once planned to be an implant has turned into Affordable Dentures because the $$ isn't there. But, I digress.

I got a card the other day from a friend in Florida and it dawned on me that the handwriting strongly resembles that of my beloved BlogFairy. It would be so like her to pull that off anonymously and then let me figure it out on down the road. Truth be told? It really doesn't matter who because there are lots of people capable of that kind of miracle working. That I was chosen for who I am is something that can never be taken away. I like to think of my history here on the farm in that way too. I don't own and can't defend where I live, but it's been my life and the history of my family and it is uniquely ours.

So Rand Paul is revving up because he sees Bush and Romney getting shot down but calling people on disability out is not a good way to start. I dare say if you did a political poll among recipients there would be just as many Republicans as Democrats. Yes, the system is badly flawed but it was put in place to help people who are legitimately not able to work and support themselves. KY cousin tried for years to get it for CHF and bad knees yet died young before she saw the money. That was almost two years ago and still no ashes. If I know her the way I think I did, she would want her remains to be close to her beloved father Jimbo.

Things are pretty quiet at Casa Grands but that can change at any moment so don't hold your breath on continued good fortune. Since the broken leg is healed and without a brace Mom is using both legs equally and now the other knee that was septic is twisting and turning out from under her. Little things like being able to carry something are beyond her reach as she toddles around on her walker. Add blindness to that and you get a situation that can go south in a heartbeat. I chant to her now "never let go!"

I got a wild hair, literally, the other night and cut mine with manicure scissors, tired as hell of seeing my face framed with dull locks pulled back in a clip. My co-workers finished up the little bits that I missed and it was all free. I am almost completely gray now and will probably remain that way until the budget allows a visit to the salon the dolla' gentral for some cheap color. My goal for this year is to barter for as many goods and services as possible.

Come on spring ~

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

hell's bells

Well y'all, today takes the cake in total media madness with the release of a blurry version of a kid learning to kill spies at point blank range. Now, remember...these asshats are all media hounds and love to video the whole deal to scare the shit out of us westerners who dare not follow sharia law. News flash people! Most of the followers of your so called religion are a peaceful lot who just want to pray and be happy not fight all the damn time over rules and regs. See: Pharisees and Saducees. Jesus did NOT like that at all. Jihadist militants want to die and will take anybody down just for the shock value of a video that may (or may not) establish him as an ISIS hero. It is cowardly to execute people who are exercising their right to freedom of speech but it has happened politically over the years here in the good ole' USA to those who dared to think outside the box. That being said, I must take issue with the continued stirring of the pot, so to speak, by the satirists. Enough already, umkay? Don't make fun of their God or anybody else's. It's holy ground, ya know? I believe in one big awesome God who is tolerant of all versions and splits on belief in his goodness and love for each and every one of us. It's when the devil comes around that all hell breaks loose. And you know what? We usually don't even recognize him. In this case I believe it is the fear that is being instilled in us by these barbarians that will be our downfall.

Meanwhile up in Washington, things are limping along on a four day work week and Harry Reid is the devil if you listen to the conservatives. What the eff ever! He's right up there with those commie liberals like Sanders and Warren. Now, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to the economy but I'd say that what has happened to my disposable income during the past 20 years is proof enough that capitalism hasn't done well by the people of this country. As my daddy would say "it has always been thus and so." I fully believe that the Great Depression was cured by WWII which was a worthy cause back when we fought battles based on honor and principle rather than greed. My father is a veteran of that generation and I've known many others. Vietnam is where the whole draft/PTSD thing turned into the unraveling of our military. An Iraq/Afghanistan ex-wife with whom I am close has told me tales about her exes flashbacks and how she related that to a Vietnam vet she met recently. Unbroken circle, live and in person.

Me and Ron Paul and a handful of others were about the only ones who looked at that whole military operation and said um not only no but "oh PLEASE no" The combat conditions were just as brutal as in the jungle only without snakes..just IEDs. For those of you who are too young to remember the outrage that was the sixties in our great country, please feel free to Google it. Kids on college campuses got shot. African Americans were persecuted and the ones, both black and white, who dared to stand up were snuffed out. And no, I'm not a conspiracy theorist usually. I'm just really good at reconstructing history as I witnessed it..

Over and out with faith ^j^

Monday, January 12, 2015

maybe i'm amazed

Blogging is something that I started way before FB and Twitter were tracking and trending. It was a time on the internet where people began to realize the power of free expression and the fact that you don't have to "know" somebody to be their in meet them in person. I've talked to a handful of bloggers on the phone and met one in person which is a story that will never die. Vicki, Tish and I tag-teamed to make Hoss's cross country elderblogger adventure one he could cherish. His first stop was in Vegas which I'm sure was interesting. Then he went to Michigan, flew to Memphis where I picked him up and after getting stuck in the mud and left to die he traveled on down to Texas. least he got some Jack Daniels while he waited.

What is truly baffling to me is the number of people who use social media as a way to beat others into submission to their ways of thinking. I can honestly say that I have never posted anything ugly on somebody's wall because, hey. It's their opinion right? I've been preached to by conservatives for so many years that I fail to bite any longer when they start to rant about what's "right". I usually invite reasonable discussion when the people involved in a thread seem to be hell bent on being right. Other than that, I'm outta' there. I hate drama so WHY THE HELL would I seek it out as a way to entertain myself? I'm okay with who I am and I think Big Ernie is too. Lord knows I try to do right. As a clue for those of you who don't know what kind of words indicate disrespect, any use of the word -tard qualifies.

I do not blindly follow the Democratic party but seek a kinder and gentler middle ground where party principles are not the maker of every single decision but maybe consider we the little people for a change instead of padding your own pockets. Both parties are rolling in money so it turns into something that my mother would call "two wrongs don't make a right...or left" Believe it or not, I actively campaigned for Lamar Alexander when I was a teenager. That was before I saw what Republicans can do to state like Tennessee. Thankfully, the powers that currently be are moving toward the direction of knowing that healthcare and education are priorities like um...TVA and BC/BS.

So I'm pretty curious to see how this whole free college thing works out because it sounds like job security for a lot of teachers if the requirements for credentialing included a BS rather than demanding a Masters. I'd do it in a heartbeat! After doing the same job for 37 years I can pretty much teach what's involved and save some wear and tear on my joints. I'll do that until Sugardaddy shows up and we fly to Belize. No wait..I'm scared of planes. I think you can get there by train or car but it's kinda' dicey in some parts according to what rebels are on the warpath.


Sunday, January 11, 2015


Mama always told me that it when it came to love I just "settled" instead of finding the real deal. In 1950s rhetoric that means I sold my dreams for a shot at beginning a family myself. At the time BG was born I was still working odd shifts and mom would come to our house on Tickle street late at night to cover 'til I got off. Her daddy worked graveyard at the rubber plant. Our lives were the perfect storm of pre-bust 80s credit and promises of forever after. At one time we made close to 80K (twenty five years ago) but that was before corporate America decided to move to Ohio or Brentwood. That house of cards built on plastic tumbled around 1995 prior to debit cards and smart phones. Imagine what it would be now! BK was easy then as long as you had all your ducks in a row. Now? Not so much. I've toyed with the idea of it over the past few years and still see it as an option if the cash flow doesn't improve. I can see small improvements such as not HALF my check gone before it hits the bank. The loan sharks are priority and if the IRS doesn't fine and penalty me to death my refund will be used to get rid of that shit forever. If there is no refund? I will survive.

My heart was warmed as a million or more Europeans marched in France against the violence and hatred that is jihad. I've been trolled about that particular subject until I'm tired of hearing Sharia law and how the "majority" of Muslims practice that very thing. Bullshit! Islam is about peace except for the ummm "later chapters??" I'm here to tell you I want no part of what's described in Revelations because that sounds like a whole bunch of drama with reward tied to obedience. Every time I hear somebody bash a religious group I just have to turn my head because that's not my fight but theirs. I believe in total separation of church and state and that's not happening nor has it ever. Hey..if you want to read the 10 commandments, don't put 'em in the courthouse.. just pull out your King James version.

What else? Hmm. The GOP is sucking hind tit as their short list gets rid of their investment opportunities prior to the 2016 election. Bernie is kicking ass and taking names which makes me giddy with hope and faith. If enough people will listen to independent voices we'll be okay. If not, it's total us against them which never works. My celebrity boyfriend John Cusack is on the board of Eat the Press which is a really far out there freedom of speech deal connected with HuffPost. He's been all over Snowden since before the Russian capture of America's #1 enemy. Dude was telling what happened during his tenure and somebody wanted him to shut the hell up. Go ahead dickheads...blame Obama one more time. Personally, I think it's Cheney's fault.

I posted yesterday about a Clint Eastwood film just out featuring a well trained sniper who got offed at a firing range by some crazy lady. He was heavy into the military conflict that was our last 12 years and we all know what PTSD is right? That was a very dark time in our history with a lot of young people believing that they were serving their country when in fact they were misled. About mid-war there began to be reports of coming doom by those independent journalists like Michael Yon who were embeds with troops. Sub-par equipment. Brutal ground and air conditions. Constant danger from crazed jihad rebels who want to die anyway so there you go. Unwinnable. The ones who defend these wars claim that it's better to attack them on THEIR home turf before they come and get us. Any high school football coach will explain to you how that won't work.

In spite of it all, I'm okay and that's a miracle considering the past year. My shoulder hurts and I'm still disobedient but maybe things will look up soon. At least we didn't get much ice this morning! I realized this morning that Daddy and I are just going through the motions with the church/eggs&doughnuts thing with an allergy shot at the end. I stopped by to check on Mom before I picked him up and she was fine but worried about that knee. Mario will be there this week to offer brace suggestions. Oh, and Chris.

Love ya'll....mean it.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

long winter's nap

Well here I sit 16 hours later with a long snooze under my belt. Me and the dogs went down about 8 and didn't even roll over until dawn. They always have to go potty and explore about that time but we managed to all cuddle back up for an hour or two more. BG is at work and I have the place to myself. The quiet is a luxury because a lot of hours of my day are filled with a lot of background noise like instrument fans and whatnot. Multiple phone lines ring constantly with all sorts of requests for information or questions about specimen collection. There is an automated phone system now so that screens a lot of random questions from people who think "why not call the lab!!" They know everything !!!! There are centrifuges running 24/7 spinning down blood specimens for testing and about ten pieces of equipment in various stages of maintenance and sample testing mode. To an outsider it looks like monkeys doing it which is what Dr. P said would happen to the lab one day. I think not dear. Even high tech machines have to be overseen by people with training.
Part of my job involves supervision of the transfusion service. I'm spoiled to having as much blood as we need for our patients thanks to the regional community blood center in Jackson. Their staff is top notch in all areas including distribution and reference testing. The new center features extra room for pheresis donors who are the ones who go and sit forever with needles in both arms. Now run on out to the mobile unit next time it's around and be thankful for just one needle. Tell 'em Poopie sent you.

There are actually recognizable piles of items in this office and that makes me happy. They may sit here for another six months but at least I'm making progress! An office is a workspace and that is exactly what this room is for me. There is no tablet and my phone is too little so it's me and the Dell when writing. I'm a keyboard person so touch screen is a lot for to deal with. It'll be a learning curve if I ever can afford one. The birds are happy outside my windows because it's not as cold and they have plenty to eat. The hundred year old pecan trees out front are backsplashed with a bright blue and cloudless sky. Why is it that I figure an ice storm of EPIC proportions is in my near future? Because that would be my luck, with no door handles.

Days like these are when I have the luxury to stretch and do chair yoga while piddling around. And so? That shall commence. Y'all have a good weekend and keep the faith ^j^

Friday, January 9, 2015

the devil in the details

Everything that I write is based more or less on experiences that I've had or shared with other people. I don't always remember the exact details but others do and never hesitate to point out that it wasn't as I remembered it. There was one guy who took total glee in reminding me that I got a date or name wrong when in fact I'm the writer and so I can make it what I remember. And sometimes I remember but the names get changed to protect the (not always) innocent. Occasionally I will embellish a bit but usually the basic premise of the story is true. Rather than testing my wings with fiction, I prefer to drill down my own life experiences to a different level and pitch it out there. It works pretty well unless I'm having a pity party but I try not to do that very often. Nowadays, I expect the worst and am pleasantly surprised when there's not a flat tire or broken bone to deal with.

My aunt Virginia who died last week was told a lot of different things by doctors who were tending to her but in fact, she died before there was a real cause of the whole problem identified. This formerly vibrant energetic woman went down quick and at this point it's all academic as far as what the cause was. Unless it was Ebola? That really isn't significant because they all get called "cardiac arrest" in the end. She had lived a long and active life and was the only member of her immediate family living except for Daddy and Kaffy Rose. Like the preacher said, she's dancing with them all right now and having a ball.

Every time I talk to my mother now it turns into a polite question and answer session about what's new occasionally veering off onto some forgotten piece of history. I know all the stories, especially the one about the old Chevy with no brakes that they drove on the back streets of Martin to avoid wrecks. There's the one about the older brother who set fire to a cotton trailer with the baby boy up in there playing. Nobody knows that stuff but us and we probably all have different takes on the reality. I think it's kinda' funny myself! I'm glad Harold didn't burn up even though he grew to become a thorn in my teenage side. I'd be all courting some guy on the couch and he would be hiding behind it listening. He also picked the lock to my bedroom door with a bobby pin just to see me go off.

I have two days off which is a luxury that I took for granted when it came regularly. At an older age I'm now paying for working reduced hours as a younger woman. Something is bad wrong with that math, if you know what I mean. It is, however, helping me to dig out of the seemingly endless pit of debt that has plagued this joint for eons...well, ever since the divorce 13 years ago. It began after 9/11 and has grown into something that is delicately in the balance as the politics of the world rage on. Once again may I remind you that 1)Islam is a peaceful religion at heart and 2)Jihadists are the Phelps equivalent of international terrorism. Move on to something that we can change.

It got close to 25 today which I never thought of as warm but compared to 5 it's pretty balmy. The house is minimally warm enough to keep the pipes from freezing but I almost messed up and let the whole deal turn into an ice cube by leaving the hose attached to the outside hydrant. Hey..I've been busy and besides I'm a girl. The Camry still smells like gas inside which probably means a problem with the fuel line. I've been warned that it's a fire waiting to happen so I can only hope somebody with a phone is nearby to capture the moment. Imagine if Stephanie Plum had all the pics of HER blown up cars. The tires are decent (unlike the Cadi sitting on 3) but there are no door handles on the outside of the front and just one hubcap. I should probably just take that off so they all match.

As for all you control freaks out there...chill out and have some fun ^j^

Thursday, January 8, 2015

walking in memphis

Growing up as a northwest TN native the logical next move for my education post-DSCC was Memphis as in State, not University of. After that came the University of Tennessee Center for Health Sciences where many a practitioner did clinicals at the Gaston. Baptist on Union is where Elvis got pronounced but they've moved East where all the rich people live. I would have hated to pay the bill on that demolition! Rumor has it that one of the members of the ginormous pathology group that I worked with through Methodist Healthcare was in the autopsy room. The Shelby County medical examiner was Jerry Francisco for years until OC Smith took over and tried to blow himself up or something. Sometimes memory fails me.

There was a pizza place across the tracks from MSU that was to die for. My boyfriend lived in Germantown so I mostly drove out there to avoid the inner city in my free time from learning to be a lab tech. Dude sold stereo equipment all his life and evidently loves dogs. He bought me a golden retriever named Brandy who died of heartworms because I didn't know to treat her. She had one litter of beautiful red pups who earned me a lot of money and were my best friends. Butch moved here from Chicago with his mom and stepdad and sisters. We spent a lot of time on the banks of the Mighty Mississippi drinking wine and eating cheese back before it was all polluted and such. A lot of toxic shit has happened between then and now. For some odd reason, he became Jewish during the time he was cutting me loose from that teenage girl crush. Mama always said she gave him credit for getting me through college because I wouldn't have lasted anytime without some stress relief from the 10th floor of Randolph. He and Glen lived in an apartment in Frayser for awhile and they were the perfect storm of intellectual genius. We watched SNL together when it was new and Saturdays went on forever. I will always give him props for being a gentleman and a poet.

Mama called the drug store today and asked them to straighten out her medicine because she doesn't know what's up and neither do I. Meanwhile Lorna's mom is fighting for her life due to influenza (A) and being elderly plus a colostomy problem. Let's all hope and pray that there will be a swift admission and some peace for all involved especially she and Ann. Getting old is not for sissies if you know what I mean.

It's James Taylor and double sonic value cheeseburger time on the lane. Y'all keep on believing ^j^

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

prince fred

By the time I made it into Yahoo! chat rooms I was freshly divorced and ready for action which is what that was all about. The bots were horrific hos' so it was unusual for me to run across a real live person who cared like Mark. That was back when people had time to sneak off for a private chat via the innerwebs. And yes, I had phone sex once and felt like trash. Here's the thing...I left a long term marriage with a lot of issues on the table and found that he actually was pretty dependable when it came to things of honor. I will never forget the sadness in his eyes when he asked for another chance because he "finally" loved me. I have no clue what I was looking for at that time. A friend maybe? Now hang with me on this one. Right about then I had a terrific crush on work guy and kind of used chat room conversations to um, channel that. It only took a few months for Prince Fred in Nigeria to find my gullible ass.

First the prince sent flowers and a teddy bear (ack) on somebody's stolen card and then proceeded to send me lots of merchandise from all over the damn world and asked me to send it on to Nigeria because he was busy in London and it would save him some import tax. Big huge flip flops like size 13! Digital camera and expensive phone! I have to say that the Homeland Security branch of our local county law was a bit puzzled by all of the deliveries when I called for a consult. Seems as if the UPS guys over in Covington had already picked up on the scam and it was full blown. Oh.My.Lerd. Anywho I packed it all up and sent it back on my dime because I just knew Jesus wouldn't like it for me to keep all that stuff when there was criminal activity involved. Fred actually called me at work via an ATT operator and threatened me for not sending his stuff to Nigeria with the label he(they) emailed to me.

I remember the night Mark called me and told me that he had found a true love and would be moving to marry and live with her. "Boy, do I have a story for you!" This is a guy who wrote music for a living and tried to "leave room for the drummer" often referring to himself as a musical whore. He was in a long term and distance relationship with somebody in Nashvegas and not real happy with it when Big Ernie decided to bless him with somebody special. I love it when that happens. I will always associate Santana and M Branch's "Game of Love" with him. It was around that time that the biggest miracle I've ever witnessed happened right down at the end of the lane. Gumbler was out with a chainsaw trying to rustle up wood for a bonfire and the saw broke and flipped him into a ditch with a telephone pole on top. Luckily the ground was soft and no bones were broken and he ALWAYS kept his cell in the coverall pocket. A 911 call went out and people swarmed Pecan Lane trying to help him get out from under that huge pole. Dude had everything he needed including a flattened piece of metal to drag him out unscathed.

Seriously? You can't make this shit up.

Monday, January 5, 2015

cruisin' funerals

Today's plan involved me working until 12 then scooping up the grands for my aunt Virginia's funeral. We made it just fine and the service was very nice, planned by Ginner herself. Her death was sudden and swift which, for an 88 year old, is a blessing from Big Ernie. I've seen too many folks linger while modern technology extends their lives past what they wish for or can endure. Mama sat tucked between me and Daddy listening to the beautiful music coming from the choir loft that I have sung alto from many times when we swapped churches for programs. Daddy and I spent a lot of years together doing just that...he in the tenor section. Three other guys and him did a quartet thing for years that was a big hit with everybody who heard them. He and I also spent many rehearsals together for the living last supper extravaganza which featured twin Jesi Gerry and Terry Anderson. They come in handy for scene changes.

Mom had her regular appointment with the ortho doc to see if the fracture is healed and it's not but he told her to take the brace off anyway because it bothers her. She then proceeded to ask for advice on the other knee which is bone on bone and he mentioned she might just want to put the brace on that one. Anything for stabilization, you know. While she was being x-rayed I ran on over to the funeral home to see my guys who lost their Dad. It's like the red sea parting when you enter the doors of that place with folks in suits holding them back for you. Papa Joe was laid out on the right side and I visited with the fam until it was time to return for Mom. I dare anybody to say that I don't know how to use my time well.

She said the Camry didn't sound as bad as usual which means she hasn't been in it lately. It's cold and our water froze at 21 degrees in 2 hours this morning so I'm kind of worried about this deep freeze headed our way. I have spent a week without water before and it ain't easy for a girl like me. Not a survivalist, if you know what I mean. As long as the sun is shining, I won't whine. Too much. For some odd reason the sawmill is hot as hell and we have fans blowing on strategic areas like whoever is having hot flashes or wore under armour.

There is this couple I know that started many years ago in the midst of a lot of emotional upheaval for all involved. She is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met and she is now engaged to one of my best guy type friends ever. I could not be happier for them! Well, except if Sugardaddy showed up and was cute as well.


Sunday, January 4, 2015

walk the way the wind blows

Daddy and I went for eggs and doughnuts this morning after I hauled 20 bags of garbage in the freezing cold thanks to the (trusty) old Camry and some work gloves. It's nothing like the forecast of a teen-low later in the week, but chilly and windy just the same. Please say a collective prayer for no ice storm this winter because I don't think I could handle a re-do since I'm still in therapy for last year's injury. The tingling and numbness come and go according to activity and sleeping position. I need a brace for that hand but it's kind of low on the list of priorities at the moment. I just stopped by the former residence of the scary people to check out progress on the renovation and I must say I'm amazed at what was under all that hoardedness. The hardwood floors are original and will be refinished. Not sure about windows but they are sorely needed for a circa 1918 home. The originals are pulley and rope like mine and won't open. Even though it's not mine, there is a joy that comes from seeing an old home restored to its' original glory. I guess I have to move for mine to get that chance.

We're passing on the FH visitation this evening because it interferes with Daddy's viewing schedule but we're on for the 2nd visitation and service tomorrow, thank you very much co-workers. Plus, Mama has ANOTHER visit to the ortho doc to see if she can get rid of that brace. She's a slow healer and it was a bad break. I'm still working at my own PT and evidently stretched something in the buttcheek area that hasn't been used for awhile. It reminds me every time I step a certain way. Actually the whole right side of my body is out of sorts and crooked. I find myself constantly in motion trying to get relief. The office is looking rather spiffy if I say so myself and will soon resemble some sort of focused intention on a new life. At the very least, it will be better than the old one full of misery.

Gotta' go put some more shit up. Y'all be careful out there!

Saturday, January 3, 2015

cornelia rejoiner jayne

My aunt Virginia is the eldest of the four kids born to Wilmer and Lottie Stafford during the Great Depression. Originally from Tippah County MS, aka Blue Mountain, they raised these kids the usual way for sharecroppers...poor and hard working. The girls were all lookers and Ginner, as we called Virginia, bears a striking resemblance to their great grandmother Cornelia. She has always been a sharp dresser and perfectionist by nature, a cat lover when nobody else in the family likes them but me and her daughter Donna. Her husband Leland was the police chief for years and then worked at a local industry until retirement due to bad health. When BG was about four, we drove to Memphis airport to pick Donna up for his funeral. Katherine the older sister was a nurse and we had that in common all our lives. They are both gone and so now with Ginner's passing they're reunited as a family in heaven. There is a certain unbroken circle thing to that which helps to keep me from being afraid. We all die sometime,some sooner and some later. Just don't push your chances by snorting meth or eating your feelings. I remember KA's funeral like it was yesterday and have a picture somewhere of the whole clan including cousins Robert and Peggy. If can dig it up, that will be my memorial. That is when Donna and I reunited for a few years prior to her death. Alpha 1 antitrypsin deficiency doesn't play.

It's been days since the sun came out and SAD is getting pretty dug in here at CasaPoops. BG is off today and on a breakfast run in said monsoon. I got out to do some business this morning only to find that *gasp* predatory lenders also don't play. A heartfelt deal made in good faith was broken because well, you know. When you sign that check, they've got you by the balls. This particular brand of robbery will become a thing of my past soon and I'll have plenty of experiences to add to the consumer lobby group that I just KNOW is out there waiting to know what it's like to stand in line at one of these places on "check day" so you can buy food or a Christmas present for your kid. Real sweethearts, they are. This particular branch also holds the Cadi title. Hey...don't judge me. I'm trying!

All the xmas decor is half off at the dolla' gentral where I went looking for a charger cable and found cheap ass Chinese technology. Walgreen's was much better! While I was there I ran into Ms Polly who is in my parents' SS class. They are sponsoring financially a young lady who is doing a mission trip in Africa. That is totally what Jesus would do, in my opinion. Well, that and feed the poor in your own 'hood. I see a revival of good old common sense and homestead mentality coming up and I can't wait to plant a raised bed. Low maintenance, indeed.

Keep the faith ^j^

Thursday, January 1, 2015

just breathe

As you can imagine today was busy as a cat covering up poop at the sawmill and it's a luxury just to sit and take a deep breath to transition into off the clock mode. Currently there are little Booger feet pounding the floor between my office and the kitchen where his TeeTee and Momma are passing time while the cabbage boils. My little friend has discovered the joy that is post-it notes while listening to Mercy Me sitting in a chair beside me. For a minute, anyway. There's just way too much to explore and climb on up in here.

The bitch is off my back for now so that's a good omen for the first day of a new year. I'm now able to move it enough for self therapy thanks to a tough and talented practitioner named Pelham, as in myofascial release. With what my shoulder has been through in the past year I assumed that after surgery I'd be good as new and I was for awhile. It was not until the stress and worry of everyday life came back to smack me in the face that it became evident that I was indeed NOT healed. The holistic method used by she and other practitioners is the perfect thing for both chronic and acute injuries. It's what got me through (along with NSAIDs) prior to surgery. What a shame that insurance companies don't pay for that type of treatment vs. opiates. Oh yeah I forgot, that's big pharm in the bed with the whole process.

Here's a simple question for you healthcare consumers: Do you really care if what you have is the flu or not? What difference does it make? Now, for sure bacterial infections need to be treated ASAP with antibiotics but a virus doesn't work that way. It slowly makes your body feel like putty while it ravages every inch of it. You KNOW if you have it so why go to the ER for a Tamiflu script? Just thinking out loud if you know what I mean.

In other news the biggest troll of them all showed up on my page last night as a New Year's Eve treat. He's always real touchy about an sort of piece that even dares to infer that perhaps cops aren't perfect. News flash people....nobody is. Mistakes will happen, burnout and overload are rampant because of political games. I have the greatest admiration for public servants who don't union up and let the fat cats tell them how to be. Unions were a legitimate answer to horrible working conditions in the past but they were responsible for the loss of millions of jobs over the past 30 years. I don't need a highly paid union rep to tell me how to do what I do. If my job requires that, it's time to move on.

I'm waiting until daddy's shower time to call and tell mama happy new year. We have found that works best because then he doesn't know she's on the phone and it doesn't interrupt his "routine." Lord.Have.mercy! Bg is headed to the drug store for tea tree oil and then for a few groceries. She had the day off and watched BabyMan. I found them sitting at the (not round) table eating Life cereal when I finally made it home. Do not call me early in the morning because I will be asleep. Besides, it's supposed to snow and we all know how I do on that stuff.