Tuesday, May 14, 2013


I can empathize with the screaming pissed off Jon Stewart who ranted last night about the stupidity and lack of oversight involved in targeting political groups by the IRS. Not because Obama did it. But he is the one in charge and the GOP hates him bad enough to take this and get the whole country riled up over impeachment for that plus his failure to protect the ambassador in Benghazi. Hillary has taken some of the heat for that, but ultimately it falls on his shoulders. My first reaction was "but what about when after 9/11 it was reported that intelligence indicated that a strike was forthcoming?" I guess everybody was too much in shock from what had just happened and wanted to believe that our country would survive in spite of the lack of wisdom in major decision making. That's right...surround yourself with idiots and you look like one too. I just fired off yet another email to my representatives asking them to stop it RIGHT freakin' now with the shit. This country is dying, ya'll. We don't need one single more destabilizing thing or the whole house of cards will fall. Just imagine how wonderful it would be to have a kinder more gentler GOP that could sit down at the table and not spew hatred at the opposing party, like..you know. With a spirit of compromise and whatnot. The biggest difference I see in the parties is one concerning the ideology about sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. They have spent millions of dollars and man hours trying to overturn a law that has been in effect since the 70's and whose operation on the abortion end is not funded with taxpayer dollars. It's called transparency. Meanwhile, the tightasses who are ranting like maniacs all over the country preaching "save yourself for marriage" and "one woman, one man" are doing what they do behind closed doors and lying about it. More Republicans have gotten busted and outed for gay sex lately than ever in the history of the two parties. It's called transparency ya'll. If both parties don't get a grip and work together, we're in for some serious anarchy and it won't be pretty.

Meanwhile, back on the hill I'm looking at possible jury duty on a DAY OFF which totally sucks because there's no pay. We don't have a lot of cases go to trial around here because it's mostly drug related (I kid you not) from actual possession and sale to stealing to get the money for it. The last time I was in a courtroom prior to reporting for selection was when my young friend was being tried for manslaughter. He spent several years in the pen and is still my buddy and go to guy when it comes to cars and moving shit. BG has plans for a nice dinner which is pretty cool that we even have food much less feel like doing a little prep work. It can be done without an oven, no doubt.

The Grands are doing tolerably well as my daddy would say. BG took them to the doc's office today for a head check and tuneup on the meds. She is surprisingly healthy now that she has. It's almost hot which means one of my days off will be at Gigi's pool working on my vitamin D level and sore muscles. As usual, if the creek don't rise and Big Ernie is willing.

Love ya....mean it ^j^

Monday, May 13, 2013

rip cord

It's been so long since I've bought a set of scrubs I didn't realize that one of the newer style is parachute pants that will pull up over your shoes and not drag on the floor. Eureka! It's every short person's dream. The folks at work actually had to show me how to do the cord thingy. I've ruined the hems of every pair I've ever had that wasn't super short dragging through the mud to get to my car. You know the one...the trusty old Camry that's approaching the 100K mark. With three windows. And one hubcap. And four used tires. I sure hope I don't have to haul ass to the airport or something because I'd have to hire a cab!

As I was returning the mower to my brother's care, I noticed a couple of Joey's guys picking up chunks and tossing them into the back of a huge truck. The landfill is right across the road so there ya go. My family lived off and on in the house at the end of the road and KY cousin was the first. Of course I lived in town then...go figure. After they left there were some others and then my brother. Now it's just the family, god love 'em, and their penned up bulldogs and special needs kids. One of the dogs named Scrappy got out the other day and they came up here looking for him to take him back to jail. Not cool. Also beyond my scope of changing. As long as the dad stays out of my yard and doesn't blast me out with heavy metal, I can deal with an occasional request from his poor little brainwashed wife. But I don't have to approve of the situation, just saying.

Not bad for a Monday, thank you sweet baby jeebus. We're still on survey alert but who the hell knows anymore. I do know that the trickle down in healthcare is fully impacting the market and only really sick people show up usually. Plus the GOP has everybody convinced that Obamacare is gonna break the bank when in reality? It's just a handing off to the states of the responsibility for the exchanges in order to PRESERVE federal dollars for other things like homeland security and whatnot. That and the Benghazi witch hunt have me just about ready to get a gun myself but I won't. I'd shoot myself in the eye.

You see here's the problem. In my tenure as a healthcare provider I have gone from totally free county paid health insurance to buying my own from a mega-giant insurance company of my company's choice. Historically, CMS is the branch of federal government which sets prices that the government agrees to pay for Medicare recipients. Not just old people, mind you. The disabled. And the slackers who know how to work the system. The industry thrives on people being sick and the cheapest way to care for them, according to insurance companies. Thus the DRG mentality assigning a set price for an admission with a certain diagnosis code. COPD? ESRF? Sound familiar? These are very sick patients whose care can run way above what Medicare sets as a fair price for that particular disease state. There are kickbacks galore, thus the Stark law and others prohibiting healthcare providers from accepting gifts from those with whom they do business. Honey..when every other vendor had their lunches cut, we could always count on good old Big Pharm to cater a meeting or bring doughnuts to a doc's office.

I remember when there was one bill for your entire hospital stay and it was separated out by specialty and the hospital paid a percentage for radiologists and pathologists based on the number of procedures. Now those specialty groups are their own business as well as all the other contract agencies with whom hospitals must agree on for a fee for service. It's insane and unless a patient has someone watching the paper trail, it can get nasty in a hurry. These folks don't play when it comes to payment especially when you're old and feeble and don't know Medicare part D from a hole in the ground. The other problem as I see it is the terrific number of medical malpractice claims and the industry that is fed by that shit. Corey B. Trotz my ass. We make mistakes like everybody else and unless it's negligence, get over it.

I've seen a lot of substance abuse over the years because hey...it's there for the stealing. At least it was prior to the little locked up drug thingy that must pass a count at the beginning and ending of each shift. Whenever somebody counts wrong? Mandatory screening. It's not near the problem that it was in past years but I can tell you that working with the sick and dying will make you weary after so long. Burnout, I think it's called. I even see that as a blessing though because it has given me the opportunity to realize that life is what you make it and somebody always needs an angel.


Sunday, May 12, 2013

rhotos and doughnuts

Sister girl! The pollen is thick as thieves around here and yesterday's mowing got me all stirred up. We're broke as heck but by golly we'll have some good ten dollar eye drops before the day is done. It's officially pre-summer now with a dry week forecast and normal temps. Like even in the 80S! Maybe I can do a day off at Gigi's pool and soak my feet. I've been working on those old dogs for months now trying to get 'em in shape for flip flops. We had a lovely mother's day breakfast at you-know-where with the usual discourse of "I can't pay until you finish". We stopped by the DQ for dilly bars and headed to their log cabin with daddy mumbling his schedule the whole time. This time it included putting up coats since it was chilly. As I drove up to the house I told mom the mother's day fairy had come to her porch! I'm such a sly one, you know. I picked her a beautiful bouquet of everything in my yard that's blooming and read her cards from my brother and I.

I never thought about being a mother as something that would be particularly fun seeing as how my own mother was wore ass out most of her life with three of us. And a fulltime job. And an on-call status as farmer's wife. She has chased cows in his absence as well as rescued him from a random drunk on our front porch one night. She never once spanked me which was probably not the wisest decision but it's one that I used with my own daughter. She did, however, slap me square in the face when I called her a bitch as a teenager, and I deserved it. Ditto for BG.

She was so cool that she hauled a bunch of us to the Coliseum to see Led Zeppelin and I left my shoes in the car as I took of in my daddy's wool Air Force overcoat. Yeah...too cool for the people. She supported my decision not to be a sorority girl even though she had been steeped in that tradition. And she has always held me when my heart is breaking, which is happening more often. It's as if she's preparing me for when she is gone. A former newspaper columnist she published a cook book of her reader's recipes that went viral (well, not back then but...) and people still ask for it. Of course that being my job, it's kinda sorta on the back burner. Ha..did anybody get that?

This is for you mom, for every memory that we share and all the good times. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to raise me up as a redneck,smartass hippie southern country gal


Saturday, May 11, 2013

mother's day memories

When I was a child Mother's day was always the one occasion where we paused to pick a rosebud and tuck it in somewhere...red for an alive one and white for a dear departed one. My ex bought me a white rose corsage for Easter one year and I was too mortified to wear it up in high church. Two years ago on this special day, my father was hospitalized very much against his will for a life threatening pneumonia. The year after that mama was in the nursing home recovering from a massive knee infection. Last year? Um...don't remember. The days have flown by in a blur filled with work and drama. It is definitely time to put the brakes on for a day or two.

I started today at the dollar store and did a quick run by the reduced price rabies clinic with two of our four. We'll get Ryder next week! This control nazi who arrived an hour early and was pissed because I walked right up with Sophie in my arms informed us that "that man" in that truck over there told her we were to line up in order of who got there first. The vet just looked at her like "really!" and told her to get in line with her dogs. I saw all sorts of people with multiple dogs on many colored leashes and most of them were well behaved. I had to PICK Sammy D up to get him out of the car, but it was all good after that. Sophie snoozed in the warm sun of my front seat while Sam got stuck. He was brave.

Then I scooped up my mama and we were off to a local deli/gift shop that is cute as a bug with really good food. Our downtown crowd that includes county offices and court square hasn't had a place to eat other than southern fried in many years. My very pregnant cousin K manages to still look like at doll three weeks out from delivery. Mom and Aunt Granny did their own thing that includes a lot of repetition of course. Cousin Mo can always manage to make me laugh over even the most serious things and we have fun being goofballs and bad girls together. There is another great grandchild in the works just a week or so after that. Life goes on, ya'll.

Happy mother's day to all you mothers and grandmas and t's and whatnot. Remember who you are ^j^

Friday, May 10, 2013

awesome god

I'm a Michael W. Smith fan from way back in my choir days in the alto section. His anthems have become the mainstay of contemporary worship services everywhere and that's quite an impact to make as a musician. Like not near as desperate as the Christian metal guy who put out a contract on his old lady. I can personally testify that his style of worship is what saved me from abandoning the entire deal based on my UMC background. Things could be worse though...it could have been the COC..eek.

Since I have the weekend off and it's payday there are two movies sitting here waiting patiently for me to settle down, which won't be anytime soon. I finally broke down and bought went into payday debt for a couple of new outfits to wear at work. I got caught moneyless when they instituted a dress code years ago that included only two colors so I've been wearing my old co-worker's hand me downs. Some wise person decided that it wasn't worth the effort of trying to enforce it and there you go..we have choice again. It's never a bad thing, ya know?

I'm feeling pretty grateful these days for any number of things including but not limited to the fact that it's Friday and I have plenty of beer for chair dancing to Huey Lewis and the News. Yep...I'm that old. Gawd I miss me some 80s. BG came home with disc one of Friends like in the very beginning. That's her crack..I was doing other things in their early days. The Power of Love is probably one of the happiest songs ever recorded! It always reminds me of Michael J. Fox. He's a brave one, bless his heart.

Continuing with that blessed theme, there are other blessings like a chance to cut the hay that is my yard and get ready for corporate. I wonder if there's a blanket big enough to cover that pile out in the driveway??? Surely some nice guy with a trailer will help a girl out, especially one who has to do it all on her own. *snort*
Mother's Day is coming up and of course we're all thinking about the one(s) who raised us up. It's not always a biological thing in that when you have a child you interact with their friends as either a positive or negative. That includes a whole lot of sloppy understanding when they're teenagers. Hey..I did some pretty stupid things myself.

My own mother has been glorified and only minimally fussed about on this blog for years and years. Her spirit lives not only in me, but in BG and I'm so freakin' happy to have had her touch of southern hospitality and graces to tone down my running Stafford fits and hippie ways. She respected my decisions when I was growing up even though they weren't usually her own. I distinctly remember me and baby brother having a conversation with her in the kitchen about pot of all things. She played the "two wrongs don't make a right" card on us that day. I don't really remember when I became one who isn't always obedient. Probably the first time I saw somebody walk over somebody else at work. Right is right and Jesus likes that stuff.

The biggest blessing of all in my life right now is my relationship with BG and my parents. They have allowed her to become a caregiver at a crucial time in their lives. I suppose all that hard work to become a BSW comes in handy sometimes. She is the very best and worst of me and her dad and I choose to believe that my influence on her as a woman has been to highlight your strengths and find a good group of friends who know what you really are and love you anyway.

Big hugs on mother's day eve eve ^j^

Thursday, May 9, 2013

somona botchen fargin icehole

Luke the dane had just about become part of my recent history in fostering dogs when I looked out into the dark at dusk and saw his huge head staring through the front door as if to say "I'm back!". He slept there and this morning when I left I found his white head totally red from several huge gashes in his head...blood everywhere! This was 6AM so I went by where his people have a business but it was too early. Later I called to let him know that he needed a vet because he had injured himself in the great escape. Animals can be sooooooo ornery sometimes, but then so can some people. When BG got home, he was gone..hopefully to the doggie doc. He's really a sweet dog but very determined to be allowed visitation with his 'hood mates. And I think I remind him of his late mama.

The salsa sisterhood visited Mexico today and learned a brand new cuss word thanks to Athena's brother Rick. It's pretty long and I can't remember all of it now..we practiced in the car and said it in unison as we dropped her off to cheers of "Towanda!" Ain't nothing like girl power, ya'll. She is a very talented jeweler and all around cool person who brings that out in others. So is Kevin my dear buddy-in-Ronstadt who delivered to me a CD with all of her top 40 hits. Spontaneous little things like this day has brought are what makes the world go 'round. Thanks Big E.

I didn't dare commence to mow the lawn yard until I was medicated and that happened today so I'm thinking weekend. I'm the front desk person tomorrow so there's something different besides jury duty to ponder. You never know who or what is gonna walk through that door. Lockdown has become a common thing in most hospitals because of the fact that when criminals are injured, somebody has to care for them because of that do no harm thing. You may not find anybody to bury your evil butts, but we'll fix you up if possible. Onward...no more Russian brother chat. Oh, and let me tell you what I think of Fox News following the one story that I've seen on that network in probably two years. You people are beyond belief to broadcast high profile trials like Jodi Arias and build a fan base on "did she do it." Meanwhile, you throw our freakin' State department under the bus like Hillary
is the one with bad intentions. The woman took responsibility for the mistake. There was no huge orchestrated cover up. Somebody dropped the ball and since it's her head to ultimately roll, she fessed up. That's what I like to see in a government official. If you think people have long memories, just look at the comeback of David Petraeus.

And so now it comes back that the hero in Ohio who went viral in one day has a criminal background. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE! Destroying someone's credibility is nothing like telling the truth. It's what lawyers get paid big bucks to do especially in divorce cases. The madder the better! That we as a society pay are entertained by the misfortune of others is understandable in some respects but eventually you just gotta have a happy story to keep sane. I don't want to know about body parts and horror past the reporting of the fact that it happened. Period.

Meanwhile, the house is still a mess and the yard's not mowed and I could care less. It's ladies night, after. Keeping the faith here ^j^

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

tight as a tick

Per my normal state of disorientation I turned up a day early for my FNP appointment but they worked me in anyway. Gotta love a small town with family values. My muscles are knotted to the point that it will require chemical intervention to fix that chit. All she did was touch my shoulder and it jumped to the ceiling. At least she knew I wasn't a drug seeker. Blood pressure is still A-okay on the low side but I've started splitting the dose so I don't feel like a weeble wobbling at work. My weight has stabilized to where I eat most anything that I want and don't gain as long as it's semi-healthy stuff. I smoke which is of course, very very bad for you. But not much, anymore. I went from a two pack a day habit that mostly burned up in ashtrays to a chosen few that I relish with only an occasional binge...mostly when I'm drinking multiple beers.

Week one of jury duty has been quiet so far which is good because the sawmill has been scurrying to fill up beds with the perpetually sick population that is our market base. It's the same with every healthcare providerin the country. Obamacare is not the problem, and you can take that to the bank. The President's healthcare plan is a re-work of Romney's that did quite well in his home state. Here's where the trouble comes in though with states taking responsibility for their obligations. They count on the feds to fund everything through "entitlements" instead of seeking an alternative that is actually good for the healthcare consumer. If you don't know what a DRG is by now, you've felt the consequences of them many times over. My new favorite Huffpost reporter wrote today about the wild variations in the cost for one DRG within a several mile radius in the NY/NJ area.

In my humble opinion, the healing arts should be just another job that you do for a decent wage and try to help people. Eff a bunch of getting rich on the backs of poor people who pay out the ass for insurance. See how perfectly Pollyanna I'm feeling today! BG and Miss Faye went to the upper floor at Casa Grands to clean up the filth dust things off and worked like trojans up there where there's no AC. They even ventured into daddy's room to scoop up a pile of khakis or two. Big freakin' mess, ya'll. The day I cleaned out his office there were spiders in the papers, I kid you not. Mama hasn't been up there in years.

If I had to live without heat or central air, I'd take the air hands down. An occasional foray out into the heavy pollen is quite an adventure but until I get a singulair in me, it's risky business. Over and our from the lane ^j^

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

back seat ipad

Week three of carpooling included an early departure for me today while BG and Daddy were seeing about connectivity for the recently purchased device. As it turns out his wireless carrier doesn't include them and wants you to buy THEIRS for twice the price so there you go. Back in the box and back to Wallyworld. Things got heated when we stopped for gas and a diet coke which she immediately started gulping and then he yelled "GO!" in such a hateful tone of voice that we just did googly eyes in the mirror and stayed quiet until it passed. I'm sure she's as ready as he is to get the damn thing back and get on with life. He chanted his schedule all the way from the hospital to my house, this time including the box and return. He's just worried he won't be home by 4 to see the news.

Some guys were washing my central unit for spring when I got home, thanks to my brother's attention to detail. I must make mental note to mow the other way, something that I'm bad about forgetting because of the layout of that particular piece of yard. It includes not only the little porch but the pump for our water on the other side of the unit. The bank, thanks driveway dude, is sloped sharply so that I can just ride down on the John Deere. I thought about hurrying after work to get it done but decided that it looks like rain and it can wait. The air is muggy and so thick and full of humidity and pollen you can SEE it! Plus my joints and sinuses hurt. That's a sure sign of dropping pressure.

A friend and I sat quietly today discussing how ornery and negative people can be and how very hard they are to ignore sometimes. I just keep telling myself something that she said her preacher told her years ago: "Don't let anyone steal your joy." Profound, if I say so myself. In the end, all we can control is ourselves and our reactions. Assertive behavior comes from a calculated decision not to be led by bad karma. We can always choose to walk away. Lines drawn in the sand are a tough habit to form but worth their weight in gold.

A little bird told me that many corporate advertisers who pulled their business from Rush Limbaugh's radio station just may manage to shut his stupid trap. His style of reporting and ranting about tea bag justice has cost the station lots of revenue. Corporate don't like that, Rush. I'm glad I lived long enough to see it. Now if we can just do something about Mitch McConnell and John Boehner my life will be complete and I can go to Big Ernie knowing that sometimes the evil ones are held accountable BEFORE they make it to the pearly gates. I doubt if Coulter and Malkin will get the chance to change their ways.

As for me and mine? We shall move forward in fits and starts and continue to believe that there is good in the face of seemingly never ending self absorbed bullshit. And we keep the faith ^j^

Sunday, May 5, 2013

day off with eggs + doughnuts

Really, I had good intentions to get up early enough to go to church with my friends but that snooze is so tempting on a day off. Therefore, I barely made it up and out the door in time to fetch the grands from their place of worship. The entire trip to doughnut heaven was filled with discussions of who sat where in Sunday school, her swearing that so and so sat here or there, all the while knowing she's blind. We have not discussed my cussing the other night and will not because it's not worth going back to. I mean, it's not the first time daddy has told me to get the hell out of their lives! He gets over it pretty quick. As much as mama has fought having somebody there in the afternoon, she's managing to find things for BG to do so she won't just be a "stranger in the house." They have some pants shopping to do and a pedicure is on the books. That should be interesting since BG has a real phobia about feet. Ha!

We've had a monsoon this week but it's cool so the grass needs mowing but can wait until after the next deluge. Forked Deer backwater has run the turkeys out into nearby fields and they're a hoot to watch. Not real bright, if you know what I mean. But those suckers are fast! So are the deer that cross willy nilly by the dairy barn. There's always some critter action around here which is pretty cool. My friend over in the NC holler named Mahala has new baby piggies. Sophie is growing and we're trying to train her to take it outside but Oscar is a bad influence. Our goal today is to tackle the floors and maybe the smell will go away. Ewwww is right.

Somebody mentioned to me the other day that I "needed" a relationship to which I promptly replied that I am content with the ones that I have. That there's no special guy included in that means that he would have to be pretty laid back and willing to ante up. I've been broke since the divorce and that's been 11 years of struggling. I can make it on my own if need be as long as SS doesn't shrink. If that happens, I'm screwed. I have no retirement $$ whatsoever other than the measly lifetime pension from my longtime ex-employer. I'm taking it now, just in case Wells Fargo goes the way of Citi and all the others. Back in the day families did the commune thing and didn't think a thing about it. It was normal until everybody got educated and mobile.

I'm figuring that out of fiscal desperation, more and more families will stay together just for the sake of keeping expenses down. One salary, particularly at minimum wage, will not pay the bills in this economy. All of our previous roommates have been guys who didn't really get it when it came to chipping in on the bills. Thus, their departures, every damn one of 'em. We're talking to Daddy about getting a pad so that they can Skype with the grandkids and see Tommy's weather. I wonder if you can buy insurance for them?????

I'm letting the sun dry off the grass before I tackle it with a mower. Or not.

Keep the faith ^j^

Saturday, May 4, 2013

better late than never

I had totally forgotten about writing to my senators concerning the gun control reform vote. One of them did a robo e-back letting me know that they had received my message, etc. Nothing specific about the issue. Imagine my surprise today when Senator Alexander responded, as Lamar..of course. His entire epistle was a bull headed argument for 2nd amendment freedoms with an actual claimer to be an elite NRA member. Imagine that ;) He gave no specific reason for voting against the broadening of background checks except that he freakin' adores the right to bear arms. It simply amazes me that radicals from other countries come here with a well thought out scheme to achieve a goal and we can't even manage to keep from killing each other with guns. Oh yeah...Lamar also mentioned that guns don't kill people. Right off the bat I was like "what the hell were YOU thinking girlfriend?" I mean this is the great state of Tennessee, home of the Volunteers and whatnot...close enough to KY,MO,MS,AL and GA to spit over the state lines.

Meanwhile, I managed to piss off my parents again by asking that they just let us do what we do and not micromanage. They don't take to kindly to that and even at 80 they buck us on a lot. "Ya'll go behind our backs and don't ask our opinion" is what Mama said. Well, you know why? Because it's easier to get forgiveness than argue for permission. I let go a little bit more each time which I suppose is Big E's way of preparing me for their deaths. Or maybe I'm being entered into a sainthood contest! Once an adult, twice a child. I wouldn't change a thing.

Things are looking grim again what with the household debt not being paid in a timely manner due to day to day crises like flat tires. I drove a friend's car today and was amazed at how quiet it is. My muffler is about gone, and of course the window has BEEN gone for five months. Poor Tara! I thought she would just die of embarrassment. I will forever more be the den mother of that group. One day BG and I drove around for an hour trying to find one of 'em to pick up for a ride to group. Dude didn't have a clue where he was! Spending time in an outpatient rehab setting is very intense especially for the counselors. A good therapist will get inside some heads and kick ass/take names. Calling out, if you will.

Only one day off then back to the sawmill and possible jury duty. Let's hope I don't pull a murder case and get sequestered. That would be just my luck! One thing is for sure...I take it seriously. If I were to be judged by a jury of my peers I would expect truth and justice. That's the calling, so to speak. Sometimes it happens, sometimes not. It is what it is and the system, as flawed as it is, is there for the people. And also for lawyers to make money. I should have married one..rearview vision is 20/20.

We're listening to my favorite classic rock station 92.3 from Jackson. My friend Gregg works there and we met when his band played at my brother's club years ago. They opened for Jimi Jamison who was attempting a comeback thing and did all of the Survivor numbers as just himself with good electronic backup. For 3500 dollars. The place was packed and I'll always remember B working the crowd serving drinks and saying "party time!". It was a dream of his at one time where he did the majority of the work and financial risk and got dumped on by a partner. I met many other musicians there and it's a part of my life that I'll never regret. Mary Carson and I tried our hands at running the kitchen and failed miserably when nobody at a bar wanted food. Go figure. There was a prom there one year and I must say it was gorgeous!

That's it. I'm tired of bitching, discussing and otherwise wearing myself out. The choice is mine alone to make ^j^

Friday, May 3, 2013

one toke over the line

I had forgotten all about Brewer and Shipley 'til I searched for that old hippie anthem the other day. I feel my part in history vanishing with the events that, someday, nobody but me will remember. I mean...the last surviving war vets and all that just tears my heart out. I grew up in an America that had seen the Great Depression and rebounded because of and following WWII. These were wars that had a purpose, for liberty or pursuit of happiness or whatever. The Iraq/Afghan tour of duty has shattered more families than were ever created in the anything goes era of the 50s and 60s. I watched young men who were DRAFTED into a war that never had a purpose come home from the jungle strung out from the horrors. That's when I realized that war is not always our business especially when it concerns rescuing others. With the budget deficit that we have, it's an economic necessity. And screw the NRA. I suggest that the beady eyed french sounding dude who is their mouthpiece looks a lot like Hitler. So there!

BG couldn't remember if I loved or hated Ron Paul ( no she's not a blog reader, much ) but she recognized the last name so she called and asked. Evidently her friend's kid had drawn a pic of wise old Dr. Paul for her daddy and it was stuck up there on the frig' right next to the grocery list. "Ron Po" was the title. We giggled over that one and I reminded her that I do not like the younger Mr. Paul in the least. My biggest nightmare would be to wake up and he's friggin' POTUS. I'll save a cyanide cap for just that occasion. Same goes for Rick Perry. The GOP had a solid chance to give the Obama presidency a run for their money and instead they wasted an opportunity to play nice for harpies like Palin et.al. My friend Phyllis used to blog about the harpies during the Bush administration. I suppose Ann and Michelle would fall into that category as well.

Here's what I like about liberals straight up. Your sexual preferences are yours and cannot be dictated by anyone's government, only by the heart. The war on drugs is a terrible failure based on 25 years of faulty drug education that demands total commitment at a time when most of them aren't exposed, or their parents were doing it and they already knew. Kids will be kids and most liberals will pick their battles accordingly. Entitlement mentality aside, the social programs that were created from dire need in the 30's continue to grow due to abuse and mismanagement. That's the thing about government...it's just all so big and stupidly connected. If you want to stand for something, sometimes you have to step away from party lines and define what you want. Was John Edwards a bad boy for what he did? Prolly. But here's the thing...his mistake was used without restraint during the presidential campaign and that is wrong. They ALLLLLL do it, ya'll. Like my ex used to say "A hard dick ain't got no conscience."

It's Friday and I've got one more day to work before one off and then "the big one". Jury duty starts Monday and we're expecting a good going over at the sawmill sometime soon so we're all on edge. I scored a toaster oven that needs to be cleaned but will make perfect cinnamon toast. After I almost passed out yesterday I tinkered with the BP meds and will do that at night now because oh.my.lord it makes me dizzy as hell to be that low and walking. Kind of like walking through quicksand. I'm focusing on healthier eating because cooking takes a lot of time the Mama Stafford way and I know my limits. The first time my cholesterol got to 250 I was a believer in EVOO and fresh food. I've struggled with weight a lot of my life, just like my mother. But now? I eat what I want, stay active and take a few necessary meds. My weight rarely changes now even if I gorge because my gut just can't take it. Small delicious bites are better for the tummy AND the soul.

I'm to the "whatever" point with the whole drama thing. I love my little office/living room and it's not cold in here. There are, however, boxes of history strowed ever which'a'way. And maybe someday it will all be done.

Keep the faith ^j^

Thursday, May 2, 2013

heads up!

There is some construction going on at the sawmill to make it ADA compliant and as it so happened the contractor hit a pipe which started a giant flood culminating in (what used to be) an office. There were plastic bags everywhere on top of every instrument and it was a terrific save by the 2nd shift folks. All's well that ends well, I say. I talked to corporate today about an existing issue and was told that there is "nothing that can be done" about my predicament. Alrighty ,then. It was just another day in paradise until my brother called with that tone in his voice that's kind of like "do something with YOUR mother" so that she doesn't run off the help. Daddy has turned out to be pretty low maintenance because of his ritualistic behavior. Neither of them realizes that they would not be able to stay there even one day without Ms Faye or BG. Her biggest worry is about how much money is being spent. Fine then...you want to give it to the nursing home or stay where you are at H.O.M.E? I'm done and have dis-engaged from that particular struggle. Neither of them has dealt with finances or driving for five years so they have no clue what we've managed to get for them benefits wise. The healthcare part has been my job and the finances his. It's a good fit, I think.

My two days off were glorious weather wise and I managed to get the house somewhat decent. Sophie is staying outside more since she's grown and that's a good thing because she leaves a trail everywhere and my feet are magnets for dog poo. The grass is getting fertilized well out back next to the redneck patio. It is a collection of stones and plants and the realization of a dream that I had sitting on the back steps picturing a shade garden there instead of a damn big ass grill. It's one of the few things I've stuck with...gardening. The former first lady here Mrs. Council blessed me with stuff that returns every year and every season. That requires payback to the cosmos. And of course my grandmother Gaga was a member of the Summer Hill garden club! How niiiiiiiiice.

I have this friend who was a sorority girl down at Ole Miss who used to call herself a stealth member meaning she played the game and acted the part but she was definitely above all of it. She's now a state employee with a very good job and a difficult life and I miss her terribly. We used to talk all the time when here yippy little dog was alive. Love in 3-M hon. And thanks for all that you do for the non-humans of this world.

My 2nd oldest friend T called the other night and told me how much I'll miss my folks when they're gone and so forth. And this, I know to be true. I am to the point where I must take care of myself or go down trying to save them from the inevitable. After 20 years in a loveless marriage and ten with a bunch of user assholes it's time for me to be kind to myself. It's the only way to survive. Ethereal friend also called from Dallas recently about a job thing and we caught up. These are lifelong relationships...the ones who will call on a whim and you'll talk to them no matter what's up. Well, unless it's a huge sexfest with Sugardaddy.

Carry on ^j^

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

what doesn't kill us

Well, it makes us like, you know. HUMBLE and eventually stronger! Such was the case yesterday with a friend who has achieved two major milestones this week (including a job) and promptly found herself in a wreck last night on the way to meet the new babysitter. GEEEZ. Not only that, there were some kind of bs unpaid fines so her license had been revoked and she ended up in the hooskow. Been there, done that one. It's amazing how much court fees add to the city and county bankrolls. BG's court money (which got pocketed by the office thieves before the whole bust went down) got paid twice thanks to the opportunity for corruption and greed. Don't get me started, ya'll. I respect law enforcement but have no tolerance for over eager young ones out to climb the ranks. Jump out boys. Google it.

Yes, I went to bed at 6PM yesterday and slept for 14 hours and boy did my body need it. I can't remember the last time I fell asleep watching TV and then moved to my own bed. I woke up just long enough to do some yoga in place and drifted back off. It's amazing how good stretching feels to these old bones and muscles. I talked to my oldest friend in the world this morning about this that and the other, catching up with bullet points. Talk about some history ya'll....we go all the way back to the nursery at FUMC! And if she's still around, she'll be the one to bury me.

I'm sick to death of the Russian brothers and their families so I wish the MSM would move onto something else besides "if it bleeds it leads." What difference does it make if his mother was behind it???? Geeez Louise. I know, I know....it's job security for the paparazzi of death. Oh and also? I don't give a rat's ass about Kate and Will's baby bump. Or Kim K's for that matter. I heard a track off of Beth Hart and Joe Bonamassa's new partnership and immediately had to listen again and again. Whomever put together that talented duo is a genius. See Saw will definitely go on the "happy" list.

Corporate is coming and bringing the entire fam which should be interesting. I've met two of them before, one multiple times. Ya'll should have seen me chasing down this twenty something in the orchard grass to give her a relative's antique platter. Sweet as pie! We had puppies then and she was totally taken with 'em. A city girl, she fit right into our rural paradise.

So that's the state of our union. One day at a time ^j^