Tuesday, December 31, 2019


Just so you know, I feel like crap for a lot of reasons. Number one on that list is that I'm too sick to babysit a sick Reaves. The stomach pills gave me my first good uninterrupted sleep for two weeks and I seriously overslept for my lunch date with Bubba and Marilyn. We took in all the ambience of Boyette's and family.  We both got jars of peach preserves.  Manna from heaven.  We talked about Lake County and all the dark secrets up in there around Reelfoot.  I could tell that my mind wasn't quite right and brought my plate home.

It is scary to be in this place, at least for me.  My kids live 45 miles away and have traveled here numerous times lately just to get a change of scenery and see Gaga.  It all depends on sickness and health and Lauren's schedule.  That sucks a lot.

It's Art is in progress and I have a few more submissions on Friday.  After that, it's up for for a month.  My job is done until take down and figuring whose owns what easel.

The new year?  I feel nothing but positive vibes.  Too tired to do otherwise.  Put your silver out tonight and you will be richer in the morning.  ^j^

Monday, December 30, 2019

the artist's eye

My cohorts and I did some more art arranging this morning and it looks pretty dang good if I say so myself.  What is usually an empty wall has come to life featuring a broad variety of artists and mediums.  In fact it spreads beyond that wall!  A big shout out to Kathryn McBride and the whole staff for helping us make this happen.  Every

My friend Gay treated me with MFR today as a Christmas gift.  I had forgotten what a wonderful feeling that is.  She concentrated on the bowel area where my pain has been.  Lauren and Reaves were here doing laundry when I got home and we had fun.   We are all still sick but managed some quality time among the chaos.  Praise be.  

It's cold again.  That should make duck hunters very happy.  As for me I'll just put on another layer and cuddle with the dogs.  

Peace and grace ^j^ 

Sunday, December 29, 2019

the journey

We were still in full Christmas mode at church today and the focus was on the magi followIing that star.  It could haven taken them longer than 12 days, who really knows.  THEY knew that the prince of peace had been born and were dead set on honoring him with gifts delivered by camel riders.  I always knew from bible school that Epiphany was a word, but I didn't really digest the meaning of it until I was in my 30s.  Now I am acutely aware of the seasons of the Christian church.  And I am blessed to be fed words of wisdom in an easy to understand style.  Even the preacher traveled many miles in time to be there for service.  Bless him.

The art display will be pretty much finished tomorrow.  The biggest challenge we found right off the bat was where to hang the chalk paint window frames because the colors are light and the wall is gray. So, I drug that baby home with me and commenced to put a background on it so that it's visible and um, way cool.  Thank you Laurie Ann!

It has cooled off and is raining so I still don't imagine there are many ducks around.  I saw one hunter on the way home after chuch for both of us and he was headed out to check on his boats.  It will be cold again soon enough.  My friend reminded me that out of towners don't understand the way conditions have to be for success around here.  

Yesterday I began the occupational therapy of cleaning out my toolbox and starting over with good stuff I have.  Hammers.  Screwdrivers.  Measuring tape.  No more wrenches or anything else that I never use.  I am slowly sorting through everything else and de-cluttering.  The stress from living in chaos like mine is enough to make you have spastic colon.  Hey.  I try.

Follow that star ^j^

Saturday, December 28, 2019

hush y'all

Today was the day for the beginning of It's Art.  I showed up at the library and a couple of other friends helped me set up what we had.  When all was said and done we still weren't through but we're getting there.  Delores and I will revisit on Monday and straighten things up so to speak. It's such a nice facility but two of the clients who were there to do something personal got mad because we were "too loud."  One chick jumped up and announced that the library was supposed to QUIET.  Great, a library nazi.  The staff was superb and helped us out tremendously even apologizing for the nazi's behavior.  

I'm lost as to day and time.  I'll have to remind myself that tomorrow is church day.  My friend Jo came by to help at the library and she is considering a visit to our church tomorrow to check out the red headed angel of God that is our pastor.  

Peace  ^j^

Friday, December 27, 2019

near miss

The lane is notorious for potholes most of the time.  Earlier this year the county graded and poured gravel.  It was dusty, but the holes were  gone.  Until now.  I had noticed that the road was becoming rough again.  The plan is to tar and chip in the spring but.....it at least needs to be grated again.

I woke up at 2AM with the belly pain and had already decided it was time to go to the ER.  I struck out in the dark and either hit a hole or loose gravel or both and lost control of my car on the hill..  I wrestled with it trying to get straight after finding myself staring straight at a huge ditch and embankment.  It took several tries to stop the spin and stay on the road.  The good Lord was watching over me and grabbed the wheel before I hit the ditch.   Scary as hell.  Had I hit that ditch and embankment nobody would have known until the neighbors went to work this morning.  Also scary.  

The ER looked pretty empty but has it so happened I was one of four admissions within 12 minutes.  I know the drill.  INT was inserted in my one good vein and blood drawn for labs.  They all came back perfectly normal and the doctor said that what I presented with was not diverticulitis but spastic colon.  He gave me two weeks worth of Bentyl with an order to follow up with my FNP for refills if it helps.  I pray so because something's got to give.  I very carefully drove home after that 2 hour visit and crawled back under the covers.  I cannot see squat at night and considering my almost wreck, I took it slow through the city while the people slept.  The 'burg rolls up the sidewalks and is deserted that time of early morning.

When I woke up it was daylight and I looked at the kitchen clock which is an hour ahead so I thought it was time for the pharmacy to be open.  I got there 30 minutes before and waited for them to open because I was desperate for relief.  It didn't take long and I was on my way hoping for the best.  I've had one so far and it seems to be helping.  Please please please let it work.  

I'm still pretty shook up over the almost wreck.  I have a clear vision of my car headed for that ditch bank before I overcompensated and finally got it under control with numerous spins. It is partiIularly scary with elders living alone Nobody knew I was out so nobody knows when I don't show back up.

There is no "cure" for IBS aka spastic colon.  It is a life sentence to keep flares to a minimum and I've had three this year.  I was diagnosed with it young in life but it hasn't bothered me much until this year.    

And so it goes.  I hope that the holiday spirit continues for you and yours.  It ain't over until Epiphany you know ^j^

Thursday, December 26, 2019

twas the day after

And a lot of people are back at work.  This next week will be one of those where you can't keep up with what day or year it is.  I went by to pick up a few more pieces for the art show this morning.  This whole thing is on a wing and a prayer.  I have faith that it will come together and expose a lot of locals to some fantastic regional art.  I have had the AC off and on for two days.  Global warming indeed!  Not to worry, by two weeks from now we'll be iced over again.  

I have come to accept a chronic state of fatigue as a normal for the aging process.  Remember how when you're younger and a couple of good days rest revitalized?  That doesn't happen so much when you're older.  

I should be out enjoying the beautiful day and I'll make my way out there eventually.  I am grateful for this break in propane usage.  There are still pecans everywhere but this old girl is done.  

Namaste ~

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

glad tidings

I met my brother and Sally at Huddle House where business was brisk.  Lauren and Reaves got here earlier than I expected and she had that present thing DOWN.  Everything is "cool" except for clothes.  As predicted at nap time she proceeded to have a meltdown.  Poor baby had too much Christmas. I know the feeling.  

Mr. Holmes was at it with a chainsaw early this morning.  This man amazes me.  At 78 he handles that equipment like a pro shaping the landscape just so.  I see it as an art of sorts.  I guess he didn't have plans until later and decided to take advantage of the nice weather.  

We thought we recognized the waitress at breakfast and as it turns out she was Mama and Daddy's favorite server at Perkins.  She said she still misses them.  They were quite the couple.  

Tommy posted some old cabin pictures from Christmas in the old days.  He's a lot more organized than me with the photo stuff.  I'm still sifting through boxes and albums!

I pray that you have blessed by the spirit of God during this Holy season.  Jesus.  The gift that keeps on giving ^j^  The wise men should be en route.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

merry crisis eve

I never would have thought ten years ago that I'd be not having to work the holidays.  Everybody else does it, and with a smile.  I have noticed that most businesses close early and observe Christmas day.  Except for Waffle House and gas stations.  Every one else is trying to cram ten family gatherings into one or two days.  OMG.  I really don't miss that part because there were so many of us kids and grandkids packed in that tiny little apartment on Christmas morn.  It was insane.  I think she eventually got rid of the aluminum tree with the rotating light.  That was some cool shit!

My friend Scotty fixed two of my mama's lamps for me and said "merry christmas."  They are still in the car by the way.  It is quite warm and this ham baking is heating up the place.  I may have to turn the air on.  Only in Tennessee.  T Lee was being a good daddy and rewiring his son's trailer.  The feral cat just stared at me like I was the devil.  Creepy.

Lilycat seems to be a bit sick which is worrisome when any animals hacks and throws up.  Thankfully hers are easier to clean up.  

It was on a Christmas eve long ago that I received a miracle in the mail.  One of my blog readers, evidently, was moved by my words and was financially well off enough to share the wealth with me at my poorest point.  That first thousand bucks was followed by two years of random surprises for me and to buy food.  I never found out who it was.  

Pay it forward things like that always help both the giver and the receiver.  I've never been financially solvent enough to give people money except for my kids.  Lauren is doing laundry right now and the world keeps on twirling.  

Be good.  He's still watching ^j^

Monday, December 23, 2019

false alarm

I am so used to waking up before daylight with a bellyache that I was surprised to wake up pain free.  For a few minutes until the gut got in gear!  It is called among other things spastic and irritable colon.  I won't say what I call it because we are in polite company.  Ahem.

Patsye and I had a nice visit over tacos and salsa and then we played ball with Sally.  I stopped her off at her parents' place and went in to give my regards.  They remind me so much of my own parents it's not funny.  The tables were set for the more than 20 they expect tomorrow.  And they even have things hanging in their house that came from my parents walls.  That almost made me cry again.  

Our families have been intertwined for a lot of years beginning with me and Patsye as schoolmates and her brother and father's farming interest here.  She loves seeing her daddy on FB.

If you haven't bought it by now, consider a handshake and a promise of a random surprise on payday.  The only people I have bought anything for at all are my girls and others have helped with that.  Lauren officially has bacterial pneumonia secondary to Flu B.  She cannot catch a break.

Gotta to figure out how to glaze a spiral ham.  Be merry and bright if possible.  You could always be six feet under pushing up daisies  ^j^

Sunday, December 22, 2019

yea lord we greet thee

I knew in my heart that today would be special at church since it is Christmas Sunday.  It did not dawn on me until we got neck deep in carols and scripture that it was on this day four years ago that my mother's hip broke as she was attending her last church service.  She did not fall and break it, it just snapped and then she went down.   She was on her way from the Sellers' class to the sanctuary to meet Lauren when it happened.  Mama's sweet nurse friend Tracy had taken her to church and Lauren was to bring her back to assisted living.  It never happened.  The hip was pinned and she went to rehab which is where we celebrated our last Christmas together.  I brought food and Bubba, Lauren and I surrounded her with what love and warmth we could muster.  It was obvious she was not doing well.  I'll spare the details but in less than a month, she was gone.  

She was never truly happy after Daddy died five months prior.  They had been together for 61 years.  Not only did she lose her husband but her home as well.  It was a dark time for our family that had begun a year earlier with a string of losses.  My Daddy's sister in January, Mom's sister in June and just a couple of weeks later Lauren's dad.  Then Daddy in August and mom in January.  We spent a lot of time at the funeral home.  I was still working and just about lost it over all this with heavy pressure on me at the job to do more and do better.  Needless to say I cracked and didn't last much longer.  

All of this was swirling in my mind during this joyous occasion this morning and I found myself close to tears.  On the way out Mama's cousin's wife slipped me something and urged me to open it.  It was a thank you car featuring Floyd Speck's snowy cabin and my mother's scribbled words.  Thanks to Ann for making our 60th anniversary an event!  She had surprised them with balloons in Sunday School.  When I saw my mother's handwriting I lost it and the tears flowed all the way through a big Mary Beth hug and into the parking lot.  Triggers are tough but they serve a place in the grief process.  

Except for their All Saints Day honors, I did not go back to that church for several years.  The pastor who had babied us through all that left due to health issues.  Something led me back earlier this year.  It was the Holy Spirit, I feel sure.  It was hard at first because everything in that building reminds me of them.  Pastors changed and I became more engaged.  I have no doubt that they have my back just like Dell did.

The story of the birth of Jesus is as miraculous as his rising from the dead.  Poor virgin Mary found herself pregnant even though she had not had sex with Joseph.  He was preparing to do what was customary for the time when an angel of God visited him and told him what was up.  You know the rest of the story.  

Hold your tribe tightly and with love.  Believe in miracles.  And above all, keep the faith ^j^

Saturday, December 21, 2019

the view

Mr. Holmes is old enough to be a Mr. to me and could outwork a team of teenagers on a good day.  He does all the tree work out here and has done a fantastic job.  The latest project involves cutting off the giant pecan limbs that lie over crop land and power wires.  They are known to drop off even without a wind.  Dyersburg Electric will be happy too.

I ran out to see Yaya and her kids and they were getting ready for a joint birthday party over at Carney's.  Her house is like mine which makes me feel more normal....we're just wired that way.  As we make our merry way through each day we see squirrels and drop whatever it was we had planned to do.  Friends since early childhood, me and her entire family.  We used to hang out a lot in our rowdy days.  Now we're just grandmas in love with the tribe.

Things seemed pretty calm around the 'burg considering that Christmas is just days away.  I am so glad to be snug in my house with the dogs.  And cat.  Yaya is a cat lady from way back and she has two now.  I remember housesitting for her with the notorious Putin checking me out the whole time.  He was not amused that Mama was gone.  

She lost two chocolate labs before I did and I never really understood until Faith died.  There's just something about those eyes that grabs your heart.  

I'm thinking that the shepherds are getting closer to the stable by now so I moved them up.  Patti Lou taught me that trick.  Let's just all get well before we give Baby Jesus the flu.


Friday, December 20, 2019

remember when

My brother was a photographer long before I ever picked up a camera.  He has been sending me pictures that he took 40 years ago, many of them taken from the top of the silos where he climbed up like a warrior.  There were a couple of pics of small plane crashes that happened out here involving out of towners.  Nobody was killed but both planes were demolished.  One landed in the field right next to my front yard!  Living by the airport, that's always in the back of my mind.  

The name of my road was changed a couple of years ago and I have learned the hard way that the new road name won't track on GPS.  Fire, mail, etc.....that's all cool.  But you send a FedEx driver looking for Calcutt Farms Lane and they're lost as a goose.  I wonder what it takes for a road to be trackable?  I'll have to do some research on that one.

My girls are both still sick and I'm trying to treat myself faithfully for the diverticulitis.  I'm on day 3 of cipro augmented with Oregano oil, Mg citrate and a probiotic.  I am definitely kicking low and flying under the radar.  

Y'all tell Santa if you see him I said Merry Crysler.  

Thursday, December 19, 2019

christmas past

Everybody always expects Christmas to be some special magical day.  That's how I was raised and my parents went all out on Santa even though it was, I'm sure, a financial strain.  I have pictures and vivid memories of three little farm kids growing up year by year in the red log cabin.  Both of my parents loved the season and they commenced to decking the halls right after Thanksgiving.  There was always a live tree, often a white pine that got planted and one was run over by my brother.....he and his buddy tried to duct tape it together.  There were electric candles in the windows and wreaths with bows all across the front.  There was one that daddy decorated outside until it got to be "too much."  You could see that thing all the way from my road.  They had an annual Christmas party for their friends and she would bake for days getting ready.  Everything from scratch was her motto.  That, eventually became too much as well.  I remember her having a breakdown from a low potassium on the night before a party and it was like the end of the world having to cancel.  

Like a lot of people we went from parents' house to grandma's and the aunts and uncles and them.  It was too much, really, for little kids.  We got a bunch of stuff that we couldn't enjoy much right then because we had to pack up and go somewhere else.  And by golly, we turned around and did the same thing when I became a parent to that tow headed little girl.  On her 2nd Christmas she cried just wanting to go to bed.  

The cabin sits empty now, all its' days of glory preserved carefully by my mother.  We always took for granted that we were all close by until my youngest brother moved to Virginia and had his own family.  Such is life.

Here's the thing.  Christmas is a season of joyous anticipation with a spirit of giving.  Presents don't matter.  It's who you're with.  I think long and hard of public servants who are at work on that special day and of those who are alone and have nobody to spend the holiday with.  My mother's standing joke was about her coming back to haunt me if I ever put antlers or bunny ears on her at the nursing home.  

People get sick and die no matter what day of the year.  Every holiday season is a first for somebody in acute grief.  And it doesn't end there.  Each milestone reminds us of days past.  Each of us is actively grieving something be it a person, job, marriage or any other major life change.  It is the end of "who we were" and the beginning of who we will become.

Peace on earth seems impossible in this day and time.  The vitriol and deception that we are exposed to daily tends to bring out the aggressive side of some folks.  That's why I stay in my little cave of a house most of the time.  People can be good but by golly they can be mean too.  I went to Lowe's today for lamp sockets and it took three guys to help me find what I needed.  Actually it was the one guy who knew but the other two were waiting on him to get free.  Everybody learned something about sockets today.  Just saying.

All we are saying....is give peace a chance.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019


Since I have the flu I thought it best not to drag it up into the doctor's office tomorrow.  He called me in some gut antibiotics and Mg citrate plus oregano oil are in motion.  Plus a probiotic.  I am in slug mode and will remain there until I feel better.  If there's one thing I've learned the hard way it's to take care of me.  A sick me is no good to anybody.

The cookie dough is made and so are the cheese grits.  I have 50 pounds of shelled pecans in my car and don't have the heart to pick 'em out.  If you get gifted, they'll be as is with a bow.  

Impeachment continues.  Lies, cursies and deception abound.  What to do?  I gave it to Big Ernie a long time ago.  

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas ~

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

the end

This old gal drug almost 80 pounds of pecans that represent a two month labor of love down the steps and into the trusty old Camry.  I was met at the pecan dock at Pennington's by the guys having a smoke break.  They weighed 'em up and called me back in an hour to say they were ready.  I did name it the crack store for a reason.  I skipped the crack next door at Buff City but should have gone because there's a good sale on bath bombs and soap.  I got the text after I was home.  

I think it's Flu or at the very least extreme fatigue.  No fever.  I just can't go much.  Lauren and Reaves ended up with another day together thanks to their illness.  I found something Monsters Inc at the dollar 'gentral today for dat baby.  Christmas Eve is a week away.  That doesn't seen possible.  It's like my Daddy told me about the years flying by the older you get.  

Y'all keep it between the lines and please please please be nice.


Monday, December 16, 2019

live and learn

Today I slept in and when I woke up I was fairly certain I'm down with something.  Considering all the strains of Flu going around it must be one of them.  Hong Kong maybe.  I am taking extra special care of me by not doing much until I feel better.  All three dogs have tried out the new bed and it's perfectly Oscar sized.  They take turns, of course.

I visited with my friend at the health food store today when I went to purchase Mg citrate.  We talked for the longest about every little thing.  I could spend the rent money in that space.  It's about as much like crack as Pennington's and Flirty Birds.  

We have had thunderstorms almost continually all day.  I hear it rolling and look out at the dark and gray.  For some reason I see the glory of God in weather.  I know, deep thoughts.

This house is beginning to not seem so much like mine now.  It's packed with memories that were passed onto me and I am the keeper of the heritage so to speak.  The matriarch.  Not that I consider that to be like queen or anything but.  I am the eldest of all the grandchildren.  Let that soak in for a minute.

Yesterday afternoon while friends were visiting I held my feverish grandchild while her Mama got things ready to go back to Jackson.  I sent sausage thingies with them and watched them drive off into the sunset.  Only there wasn't one.

I can ramble because this is my safe spot.  My own weblog.  If you read it from the latest post you probably don't have a clue about the rest of the story.  It's worth a read if you have a spare day.  To all of my fellow bloggers, thank you for keeping the faith with me ^j^


Sunday, December 15, 2019


I'm pretty sure I have the flu, one kind or the other.  Which means I should add gloves for opening and shutting doors in public.  I slept until church time and did a few errands.  The Flu B girls rolled in shortly after and we had a large time while the laundry was going.  Then they took a nap with Ellie and I swear that was the highlight of my day.  All three of us Reaves girls slept in that bed when Reaves was a baby. 

My Republican friends came over to spend some time and remind me that the Senate will block impeachment.  Being a well informed adult I would say they're right. We continued to make merry anyway.  At this point, I don't really care.  We discussed our local Democratic candidate for District 77 state rep.  Underdog on a mission.  

My dogs have never had their own beds which is probably why they sleep on mine.  Sammy D is always in the office with me so I bought him one at the 'gentral today.  Ellie tried it first but it's all Sam's now.  Looks like I'll be out a few more bucks to get the other two bedded up.

Feliz Navidad

Saturday, December 14, 2019

'tis the season

And not just for decking the halls.  Flu is rampant and I'll be lucky if I don't get it because I've been exposed to both A and B.  I got out this morning to pay my respects to an old family friend and visit briefly with his tribe.  And then of course I had to get my Stella fix for the day.  She was all laid out in the office with Ann and David waiting for a belly rub.  

I went to Kroger after that and after I loaded my car and returned the cart some random elderly man approached me to say thanks for putting the cart where it goes.  This turned into a long tale from way back when and I wished him a Merry Christmas.  He was full of the season!  That kind of thing makes my day.  I dropped my last five dollar bill in the Salvation Army bucket on the way in.  Members of my church are ringing today.

One thing that really bothers me is to see stores throw away perfectly good cooked food that could be used at a shelter.  I have asked before why they don't do this, and it's a corporate no no.  Whatever.  Dump that fresh food in the garbage when people are starving.  Makes sense, right?

I just read that over 170 members of Congress voted against lowering prescription drug prices.  Wonder whose pocket they're in?  It doesn't take much to figure out.

Lauren and Reaves both have Flu B.  Lauren had wrapped a few things to make it "pretty" under the tree and of course Reaves opened every one of them.  Got her first Barbie!

Y'all be merry and bright ^j^

Friday, December 13, 2019


Friday is just like any other day to me now.  I don't have to wait for the precious weekends off, occasionally three day ones.  That rarely happened at my job.  I always thought that not having to juggle work and life would be sweet.  And it is.  I'm just glad I got out when I did.

It's been a busy one for me in spite of sleeping late.  My buddies came and picked up the pecans for shelling in Tatumville.  They were sixteenth in line with a "no drop off" policy.   Two to three hour wait.  We started looking for Plan B which is be there when they open.  Like, duh.

I called around to other area companies and they were 5-6 days behind.  Sounds like a bumper crop!  I got an unexpected hug from my Babygirl today and the vibes were good.  We're planning Christmas at Gaga's.  OMG those clothes are so cute.

The evidence has been presented and two articles of impeachment advanced.  It's all good until it hits the Senate and then we separate the men from the boys, so to speak.  Anybody who is a true Republican and supports this shit show is not on my radar.  It's a shame it has to be that way.  When he said Merry Christmas I thought I would die.  Dude, please.

All of the ranting in the world won't change our current reality.  It will take a spirit of compromise if we are to survive as a nation.  I pray for that and other things.  

So, the menu is set. Spiral sliced ham, baked pineapple and cheese grits.   You so wish you could be here!  Hmm...maybe baked spinach.  

Y'all hang on because we're all in this together.  When one faithful person says to hell with it, we lose our power.  Jesus wouldn't like that.


Thursday, December 12, 2019

not for sissies

For the third time this year I have diverticulitis or maybe something else.  Both times prior it lasted about two weeks.  I have an appointment with my doctor friend next week to see what's up.  If it ain't one thing, it's five more.  Marla did my hair today and for the first time ever I had my eyebrows shaped after they were colored.  You can actually see them now!  It's always a treat to go to Headlines, especially when they're not busy and we get to play and visit.  Me and Chucky are old school crazy ass friends from way back.  

I'm about to unfriend yet another troll over Greta.  "Global warming hoax" and all that.  You non-believers may not see Waterworld but our children and grandchildren will.  Trump is an idiot for being jealous of someone courageous enough to step up at the tender age of 16.  I am so sick of this back biting I could spit.  pttttt!

Those two lost 20's came back to me by karma today.  When you do good things it always comes back around.  

Peace and timeout ^j^


Wednesday, December 11, 2019

ole smokey

This is the name of a distillery in Gatlinburg TN.  Evidently they did not anticipate that their Salted Caramel would be such a big hit.  Neither liquor store has had any since Thanksgiving.  I'm picky about what I drink and I prefer the flavored stuff.  The first time I tasted it after Yaya recommended, I had to say "Devil....not today."  Anyway Crown has a version of it that is seasonal so I decided to try that out.  Not the same kids.  Okay now the whole world knows I like to take a shot.  Sue me.

Today was exercise and errands.  I met a sweetheart of a girl at the mall to pick up some clothes for Reaves and stopped by another favorite place for a gift card.  I've bought this kid so many clothes and there's only two toys.  Not to worry.  She will be well dressed.  

On my way home I thought I spotted a poacher on the road until I recognized Gerald.  We live a mile apart and rarely see each other.  We chatted while he picked up "enough to make a pie" and then went our separate ways.  He is the elder of this community now.  

I refuse to be anything but positive, even if in a snarky way.  That's just my style.  I pour my heart out onto this blog day after day and sometimes it's nothing more than taking out the garbage or one of those series of events that you can't make up.  

Y'all be blessed.

Tuesday, December 10, 2019


That is what my friend Pax calls this wonderful tool of communication within an online community.  Of my 1500 friends I probably know 500 personally.  Many of them have been my friends since I started blogging all those years ago and though we've never met, we know each other because the internet don't lie if you're telling the truth.  

Once of those old friends hasn't been around for awhile and I thought of her today while watching PTT by Kristen.  Lois is a hoot and even did some time at second city.  My favorite roving reporter piece was on a turkey testicle festival.  UCMTSU. That's the kind of comedy that I like.  Happy shit, stupid shit, satire and if you don't get the satire just move along.  Kristen Hampton makes me LOL.  So do Trae Crowder, Stephen Colbert and everybody on SNL from season 1. Amy Schumer. Wanda Sykes.  On and on, they make me laugh.  

Most of them do not use "cursies" in their routine with Trae being an obvious exception.  It's part of his character y'all.  Rednecks cuss whether they're liberal or not.  His act is satirical and heavily influenced by politics like with Colbert.  I eat that kind of stuff up.  What I admire most about them is that they are positive people.  They look for ways to urge people to be nice and understanding and otherwise not so holier than thou.  

I am not watching any more impeachment crap.  Call me when it's over and we'll all hold hands and sing kumbaya.  We could probably burn some sage and light candles for a spiritual transformation to sanity.  

Peace and love ^j^ 

Monday, December 9, 2019

dumpster diving

This has been quite the day, gloomy but warm and windy ahead of the cold front.  I went to exercise this morning and made a few personal phone calls waiting for time to take my client grocery shopping.  That involved two wheelchairs because the motorized shopping scooters were both taken.  About the time I got him inside some kid came rolling up with one.  Our lucky day, so it seemed.  I parked the wheel chair in what I thought was an appropriate place to not get stolen and when I went to look for it after checkout it was gone.  OMG.  I asked the checker if she had seen anybody with it and she pointed to where their wheelchairs are parked.  Good save.

As we were wrapping up business I couldn't find the mailbox key despite multiple retracing of my steps from car to apartment.  I had dropped it on the office floor.  Whew.  He paid me twenty bucks and I took a small sack of garbage to throw in the dumpster.  When I headed to get something to eat I couldn't find the money that I thought I had put in my jacket pocket.  Somewhere between that office and my car I had lost it.  I kept telling myself I'd find it later stuck somewhere in my purse of car.  Nada.  The only thing I can think is that it was in my hand when I threw that bag of garbage.  Easy come easy go I reckon.  I'm sure not going back to town to dig through that dumpster.  

This is the second time I've lost a 20 in a month.  Hopefully whoever found them needed it more than me.  Happy to make somebody's day!  It's all on me because I'm not organized at all and stick money here there and yonder.  I've had three debit cards this year because of misplacing them.  I seriously need a keeper.  

Anywho, at least I can say I know how to drive the scooter at Cash Savers.  I got stuck trying to get over a bump back into the store and an elderly gentleman helped by giving me a push.  I guess the battery was about dead.  

Keep the faith ^j^  Oh, and PS.  I dropped an entire brisket sandwich from Arby's down my chest while driving.  

Sunday, December 8, 2019


Today the second  candle got lit.  We sang traditional carols and soaked up Advent as a joyous congregation.  I sat with Delores the stylish one and Hubert the usher.  My friends Will and Mary Beth brought the message through scripture and sermon.  Waiting is the theme.  For the birth of our Lord as an outcast in a barn.  The scripture included warnings and baptisms by John of honey and locusts and camel hair.  Prepare the way of the Lord, was his message.  Indeed.

As a hippie I have always embraced peace at all costs and was even there when the sign went up.  I have one hanging in my house made of copper.  To me the message is simple.  Just let it be.

We prayed today for our leaders all the way from local to POTUS.  For wisdom, clarity and an awareness of how many people are suffering.  Several young people have found their way to my kitchen table because I listen without judgement.  That's basically what therapy is.  Once the story is told, the power of that grief is gone.  Usually it is in response to not feeling "good enough" that people go off the rails.  Loving unconditionally and without judgement is what these people need.  I need it too.

Like Pelosi, I do not hate Trump.  I believe he is unqualified to lead this country and a GOP packed Senate is fueling the fire.  Somebody needs to grow a pair and break ranks.  Like several.  

Eventually it will be over, one way or another.  I will perhaps be able to have conversations with folks who drank too much koolaid for my liking.  These are the ones who were so totally trollish that I had to unfriend or unfollow them.  When you put political opinions on FB, you figure out who these people are pretty quickly.   But.  In the words of the late great Billy Yates:  "This too shall pass."

Saturday, December 7, 2019

put your lights on

I have two lamps that are very dear to me that don't work.  My friend T Lee is not only a master carpenter and woodworker but can also fix any damn thing.  I took the lamps to him this morning and he told me exactly what to get at Lowe's.   I love it when that happens.  We go alllllll the way back to teenage shenanigans.  The last time I went by there he and Logan were in the shop working on a piece for Logan's house and he gave me two bags of crappie fillets.  Pure gold, people.

Pecan picking is at a standstill for now until the next weather event or freeze.  One of my fondest memories is of my youngest brother climbing a pecan tree and shaking the devil out of it.  It was raining nuts!  

So I'm hearing that the White House declined the invitation to be a part of the impeachment hearings.  That says a lot right there.  If they were all innocent as they claim I'd say it would be a good move to at least show up and quit calling it a witch hunt.  This is serious business. The way that his cohorts are ignoring subpoenas I'd say they think they're above the law.  

I remember a conversation a few years ago with a friend about how we, as boomers, had known the best of times and that is gone..the simplicity.  The innocence.  The little guy who could support his family through small business and agriculture.  Unless we preserve that heritage for our kids and grandkids, they will never know how good we had it.  

My daughter was born into the financial boom and subsequent crash of the 80s.  We had two cars, owned a home and could afford quality daycare.  We went on family vacations.  My income, of course, was cut in half after the divorce but we had struggled so trying to maintain that lifestyle and credit was easy.  That whole snowball landed in a Chapter 7 bankruptcy back when they were available.  Now it takes an act of Congress for that.  

Once again, I found myself strapped and had to resort to a Chapter 13 four and a half years ago.  It's so close I can smell it.  That will give me 150 bucks a month for a car payment.  I've never been a very good money manager, I agree.  But I'm learning as a retiree on a fixed income to make ends meet.  If I find a part time cash job, and they show up when least expected, that keeps me out of overdraft.  I've done everything from water flowers to take a list and do the grocery shopping.  I enjoy doing things like that because it broadens my view on life, so to speak.  

Y'all keep on the sunny side ^j^

Friday, December 6, 2019

a healthcare story

I began work as a medical technologist at Parkview Hospital in 1977. We were sold by Dyer county to Methodist Health Systems following a nasty uprising by employees and physicians.  MHS offered 10M over market value for Dyersburg and soon after bought up the other six in West Tennessee. It was a bidding war between Methodist and Baptist and MHS won thanks to Maurice Elliott.  That meant they had a lot of damage control after this huge buy.  We went from paper to LIS in a matter of months which was pretty cool.  They treated us well and we got regular raises based on performance.  There were parties and Christmas gifts .  Free turkey dinner.  The volunteers, including my parents, were a big part of face value there.  They were honored as well.

Somewhere around 2003 the vision of MHS shifted from funneling patients to Memphis to being a transplant center. The entire West Tennesse seven were sold to Community Health Systems, a for profit rural healthcare brand.  They had facilities all over the country and were on a binge to get more.  There was a huge deal brokered by some hedge fund manager to merge with HMA in Nashville.  Once again, we changed hands.  The CHS stock was selling at 60 bucks a pop at one time.  Last time I checked it was about five dollars.  The merger was a huge mistake financially and they began to sell off what they had bought.  That was right after I retired.  

I have spoken with many patients and families who are extremely unhappy with inpatient care at this facility.  Many of them have said "enough" and gone elsewhere.  Ditto for the employees, at least the ones who care.  To be a healthcare practitioner requires patience, thought and compassion.  Otherwise it's just a job.  Is that what you want when you're sick or dying?

I got a bill today from said hospital for my part of carotid ultrasound.  203 bucks on a 1600 dollar charge after insurance. I get 10% off for paying within a month.  Why does a diagnostic test like that cost 2000 bucks?  Here is my theory.

My FNP sent me for those diagnostics and a referral to a surgeon to cover her ass and rightfully so.  I still don't know what I owe for that referral but I'm sure it's pricey.  Add to that I had to travel to Jackson to even SEE a specialist.  There is something wrong with this picture.  

One of my most vivid memories of work is when we hired Corizon to install and implement a cath lab.  That is when the diagnostics ramped up with stress tests and whatnot.  Funnel them to the cath lab.  I saw a lot of bad shit up in there.  

Basic healthcare is a right and I don't know the answer as long as things function as they are.  Medicare for all is not sustainable or economically viable but there must be a better way to keep us healthy.  Lifestyle choice....meh.  Unless you're a meth addict we mostly try to do the right thing for our bodies.  

One thing I know for sure is that our POTUS could care less.  Until others grasp that idea, it's all for naught.  

double duty

Following exercise this morning I picked a few pecans down the lane  These babies are monster size but not falling really well yet.  I had my phone in my pocket during that session but not during Amy's class.  I feel that I have met today's goal. 

What I gleaned from the MSM today is that there was another mass shooting at a naval base, Kamala dropped out and Trump still isn't in jail.  Oh, and Kerry endorsed Biden.  I don't really care who endorses whom.  I will make up my own mind and I watch closely.

I talked to my art coach yesterday and he was very complimentary about what I'm trying to do.  Positive, like a coach should be.  The schedule and artist list are set unless somebody wants to come out of the woodwork and bring something in.  Up front and center will be a painting that Gracie crafted for me with my initial.  There will be things from my home that reflect all avenues of art.  I guess you could call it an eclectic combination across all genres.  

I saw snow in next week's forecast but I guess it's time for a dusting.  I have very little shopping left to do and the whole month to make merry.  I got my yearly Christmas cards from Patsye and Kathy and I'm putting them around the door frame, old school style.  There will be pics.

Deck the halls ^j^


Thursday, December 5, 2019

mad skills

I went to the cabin to pick and though the trees are still full the ground is bare.  It has been picked and picked until some wind or rain comes along for round 2.  I looked around among the construction trash for something to whack them with.  Nothing was long enough and light enough to be any help.  What I need is PVC pipe.  That works like a charm!

I have numerous friends who are fighting health problems and I feel so bad for them. It is frustrating to be limited healthwise.  One buddy has a detached retina and will be having a second surgery tomorrow.  Don't ever take your eyesight for granted.  I've thought about that often through the years as I watched my mother lose her vision to macular degeneration.  She loved to read and watch TV.   In the end, she could do neither.  Not to be outdone, she listened to books on tape.  

I've begun to notice how nice people can be when you greet them with a smile.  "Mornin' sir."  "Thank you, darlin'" is all it takes to make the world a little bit better and Lord knows we need that right now.  I am so done with politics I could puke.  Everything in the government and court system takes so damn long.  Meanwhile people are losing their benefits while we invade Iran.  I'd go AWOL.  Do not mess with the Iranians.  Remember...nuclear power.  Ahem.

What is so seriously scary to me is the number of people who don't even see half of the picture, much less the big one.  Scandals are an every day happening and we've become numb to the craziness.  

I'm kind of riled up because I saw an old friend today and after talking a bit discovered that she had been through a lot of drama.  We almost got run over 5 times while we stood in the parking lot jabbering.  When I got back to the car I discovered I had left it running the whole time.  OMG

Drunks and idiots, God protects us all ^j^

Tuesday, December 3, 2019


That sigh of relief you hear is me being grateful and thankful for avoiding surgery on the blocked carotid.  I was very impressed with everybody at Jackson Clinic, including Dr. Thorne.  His advice was to do nothing because the internal carotid which goes to the brain is clear.  The external branch goes to the face but I've had no symptoms.  I was hoping for the best and expecting the worst.  I was planning on spending the night in Jackson but got out so quickly I made it home right at dark.  Praise be.

I slept until 1030 today which is not usual but then the two rowdy dogs were outside and didn't wake me up at sunrise.  Another blessing, indeed.   I was treated to a beautiful sunset during the ride home on 412.  

We are broke as a joke around here and still no job leads.  All I want is about 20 hours a week doing odd jobs for clients.  I'm great with people and willing to do most anything as long as it doesn't involve heavy lifting.  My shoulder says no to that.

Y'all be blessed and thankful for good health and happy times.

Monday, December 2, 2019

baby it's cold

My friend Larry called me with a heads up that the big wind knocked down a lot of pecans.  Today's temperature when I went to pick was 38 degrees and I lasted less than an hour, double layered and crawling.  The ground is still very wet and if you show up without permission I will cut you.  There are three of us who have access.  

I went to Pennington's aka the crack store and got another burlap bag so as to consolidate the bounty for hauling.  I may have to hire somebody to haul it Tatumville. Blowers rock.

I'm still remembering my dreams which is odd.  Must be something going on in Poopie's head.  My focus right now is on the art exhibit.  I went there today and took a couple of pics and measured the space.  Thank goodness they have a stepladder!

Over and out ^j^

Sunday, December 1, 2019


I missed All Saint's Day at church and when I showed up today it was the first Sunday of Advent complete with communion.  I sat down front as usual with the cousins.  My dear friend PL showed up late wearing a sweatshirt with today's message.  Who among us has not felt hopeless?  The season of Advent is about waiting patiently for the baby in the manger.  I went to lunch with friends afterward and it was a lot of fun to be literally breaking bread with fellow believers.  

Lauren and Reaves rolled in shortly after and we had a nice visit as usual.  I let them open an early present which was the last of mama's Christmas village houses.  Of course the light didn't work!  Reaves picked pecans from the office stash and put them in various containers, giggling all the way.  Being Gaga is way fun.

Being hopeful?   That's a lifeline ^j^

Saturday, November 30, 2019

shop local

I originally got out just to vote but I decided to visit some small businesses and pimp them out on Small Business Saturday.  I shop locally as much as possible because I believe in boosting the economy of this area.  We have some really cool businesses run by both young and old entrepreneurs.  Of course I only visited a handful but it was an eye opening experience.  Small businesses are the friendliest because they really WANT you to have a pleasant experience and be a return customer.

Sammy D just got jumped by the other two and I had to take a paddle to them to break it up.  I guess because he's the oldest and weakest they pick on him.  And it's always over food.  This time it was cat food that Ellie knocked off the table onto the floor.  I learned the hard way not to get hands or feet involved in a dog fight.  

It is Novemblah Plus today so I'm creating my own little paradise in here.  A few candles ought to do the trick.  Y'all be good because Santa's watching.

Friday, November 29, 2019

black friday

I'm not one of those people who get up in the dark and fight the crowds at big box stores.  My sold purchase was two shirts and a sweater for me at 20% off  Cute stuff that I will actually wear.  My other present to me will be a day at Headlines.  I can never expect to find Sugardaddy looking the way I do now.  

I ordered two more things for Reaves and I'm done.  My friend Taylor, RN has started an online children's boutique with very reasonable prices.  We were in the trenches together on more than one job.  

I actually ate another whole plate of leftovers last night and it was even better warmed up.  Funny how that works.  The electric knife died on me so I stuck the other breast in the freezer to slice later.  I have no clue where the carcass of that first one went but last I saw Ellie was tearing it up

I know it's not Advent yet but I'm about to light the first candle just because I'm a rebel like that.  Peace on earth ^j^

Thursday, November 28, 2019

table for three

I cooked my southern fried ass off yesterday so that I'd be ready when Bubba got off.  Lauren got here a bit earlier and we finished laying it all out.  We had to lock the dogs in the bedroom to keep them off of Bubba's truck and out of the food.  While I was cooking yesterday evening Ellie ate a whole stick of butter and a package of rolls.  Bad dog.  I put the breast bone out of reach and them let her have at it today.  She is currently sleeping off the tryptophan.

We talked about Thanksgiving past and every little thing and it was nice to be together even though it was just us three.  We have a strong bond and even though he's not a kid person, he loves him some Reaves.  

I started watching The Irishman yesterday and I'm hooked.  It seems that the streaming channels is where all the talent is these days.  When I find myself watching "real tv" the commercials annoy me because I'm not used to that.  One more reason not to have it.

It is now acceptable to put up your tree.  Carry on with joy toward the manger ^j^

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

dream a little dream

I don't normally dream much but the past few nights I have.  Night before last there were people in a little wagon on wheels that drove like a car and had chicken wire around the box.  Uh..okay then.  I must have been scared because I fell out of the bed and knocked my head on the night stand.  Like I was about to run like hell!  Thank goodness that woke me up or my whole body would have hit the floor.  

We had a heavy wind last night that shook those nuts right on down for me.  I spent a couple of hours at the cabin on all fours.  A lot of them were on the deck!  I remember how they used to sound like bombs going off when they hit that metal roof.  The turkey wasn't supposed to be ready until 2 but I took a chance by going early and it was ready.  Got to visit my old crop duster friend who is idle for the winter.  

I'm procrastinating on this deviled egg thing but it must be done so I'll find some big girl panties and get 'er done.  Y'all be thankful and blessed ^j^

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

christmas cards

I know, I know.  It's only Thanksgiving eve eve.  I was at a meeting today where the subject turned toward sending Christmas cards.  I was astounded at how many still do it.  Which is totally cool!  I treasure each and every one I receive but I just don't do it myself.  Y'all know I love you and wish you some happy holidays and all.  A whole bunch of warrior women took on what seemed like a task that couldn't be accomplished and did it in two hours.  That's teamwork kids.

It's quite blustery today.  Warm enough but with a strong wind.  As I was talking to one of the pickers today the heavens opened up and I almost had to pull over in Southtown because I couldn't see.  What really irritates me is these fools who drive with their lights off in the pouring rain or at dawn or dusk.  Please think of the safety of others.  

Tomorrow will be cooking day which is when I make a thousand deviled eggs  Dressing is frozen and ready to cook.  Other sides are simple.  It's those dang eggs that are so much work!  But man do I love them.  

The next person who annoyed me was a chick parked at the gas tank at the chicken store talking on her phone.  I had to maneuver every which a way to get to a pump after sitting behind her glaring for a few minutes.  Chickie got out, went into the store and never bought gas.  OMG.  

I went on a country girl binge last night and fried a whole pack of fresh chicken filets, southern style.  Now, I'm not used to eating like that so you can imagine what it did to my gut.  I'll spare the details.  

There is a little town about 30 minutes away from here, give or take.  They have cancelled their Christmas parade because of social media controversy over an "inclusive" float featuring a rainbow.  Knowing that county, and West Tennessee as a whole, that doesn't surprise me.  But it makes me sick.

I am thankful for a lot of things which I talk about daily.  I rarely say thank you to the ones who come to read, comment and like.  You are the ones who keep me writing.  And smiling :)

Monday, November 25, 2019


Many of us are accustomed to thinking in the realm of scarcity.  New cars.  Fancy clothes.  Expensive food.  Hoarding "things" here on earth, so to speak.  I used to be that way but no more.  I give daily thanks for what I have which is simply, enough.  I'm not rich financially and never have been.  This life on the farm has been and continues to be a gift that many cannot imagine.  My daughter and grandchild still get to enjoy it.  That's four generations y'all.  

It is important for kids to know from whence they came.  You can show them pictures all day long but there's nothing like experiencing that in real time.  Lauren has come up with memories from where she was two years old of things that I had forgotten.  The blood of our ancestors and the blessing of family mean a lot to both of us and to the heritage that is Ferguson Farm/Calcutt Farm.  I have spoken to many of my age people who kept their horses here when Mr. Council was the horseman.  The late Ms Mary Crawford walked the house with me and explained what every room was for back in the days that she lived here.  

This old gal has been so busy I haven't even gotten the kitchen cleaned up for Thanksgiving.  While Lauren was washing clothes I tackled the dishes..always leaving the silverware for last.  It's still laying there screaming my name.  But at least I have a fork and something to eat with it.  

Y'all be blessed ^j^

Sunday, November 24, 2019

always check your messages

It was still dark when the alarm went off but I forced myself to get up and hit 412.  I thought it was odd when I had to knock and wait for an answer.  Lauren opened the door and I was like "huh?".  As it turns out, she has strep and was told not to go back to work until Monday.  She messaged me late last night and, of course, I never look at messages when I first get up.  I had to laugh and then I went in and woke up Princess Reaves  who is not an easy riser.  After a few minutes of rolling around with closed eyes and me messing with her, she opened them up and grinned the biggest It's Gaga grin you ever saw.  Not a usual early morning sight for her.  We played a lot and she was in a great mood.  I bet she said my name a hundred times  Bonus:  Me and Lauren got to watch CBS Sunday Morning in honor of my parents.  

I hauled that huge ass turkey up into the apartment for their friendsgiving next weekend.  I hope Kim has a big oven.  Anywho, Lauren is on her way HERE now to wash clothes.  We have lots to talk about.

This is the day that the Lord has made ^j^

Saturday, November 23, 2019

the party's over

The event that was almost a year in the making is over.  Taking down is not near as much fun as setting up, just saying.  Of course I was dead asleep by the time the show was over but I heard lots of tales today while we were cleaning up.  There wasn't a huge mess so we were done in a couple of hours.  Lots of alcohol to be returned for credit due to a smaller than expected crowd.  Those that were there had a blast I'm told.  

We're back to the cold and gray part of Novemblah again today.  There will be no picking unItil it dries out and warms up.  I'm waiting for another big drop.

The hearings are done and it seems pretty cut and dried to me but then you know how I believe in justice, which isn't always served.  We shall see what the Senate does.  It should be interesting concerning the ones up for re-election.  I'm watching House of Cards again and it's a very timely view considering what's up in Washington.  

Tomorrow is a Reaves sitting day so I'll be on the road early.  I decided after seeing that picture of myself that it's time to get the hair and eyebrows done.  I'm not ready to be totally gray just yet...and especially not eyebrows.  My present to myself for Christmas will be a visit to Marla the magician.  And maybe a botox treatment for wrinkles.  Hah,,,,just kidding on the botox.

Other than that, I've got nothing.  I'm not feeling real inspirational or nostalgic today so it's time to piddle.

Keep the faith ^j^

Friday, November 22, 2019

goal met

My phone is constantly reminding me that I'm not active enough, mostly because I rarely have it ON my body, just close by.  I spent a day of setup for the FunkmonsterI event and around 4:30 my smart  (ass) phone told me I had reached today's goal!  No shit!  Of course I couldn't stay because I'm blind as a bat at night and had no driver.  Actually I do okay around places with streets that are lit.  It's those long dark stretches that get me.  

I looked at a selfie of me and my old friend Angie today and saw a lot of wrinkles on my old face.  I'm talking " get you some moisturizer gurl" wrinkles.  On the list, check.  It's been raining off and on for two days now.  I call it Novemblah.  

Y'all be kind and hug the next friend you see.  Hell just hug a stranger if they look like they need one ^j^