Sunday, January 15, 2017

let us turn our thoughts today...

Growing up in the racially charged atmosphere of the 60s made a real impact on me and many others in the South.  My elementary school became integrated when I was in the fifth grade and there was one African American boy in the class.  I believe his name was Vernell.  It didn't seem odd to me at all because I grew up in a neighborhood where white and black saw no color difference, only neighbors and humanity.  The Johnson and Lanier kids played with me and my brothers on a daily basis.  

Dr King was and remains a hero to me as a freedom fighter.  That he was murdered on the balcony of the Lorraine motel by a cracker was not a surprise but definitely a sorrow.  His work with the sanitation workers in Memphis lifted them up and gave them hope in a white man's world.  He did the same wherever he went and did it in a non-violent fashion.  Sadly racial and gender equality are still issues with which we struggle as Americans.  Access to guns and a burning hatred make that a dangerous situation for everybody.   

While you enjoy your three day weekend, give some thought to the man who gave you Monday off.  I have honestly heard people call the national holiday that we observe "nigger day" and it makes me want to puke or fight, not necessarily in that order.  I have never used that word in life except when watching Kat Williams and laughing about "nigga' please."  The sad thing is that discrimination still exists bigger than ever and not just with the black community.  All of us are at the mercy of a government that does not hear our voices even when they cry out in unison for peace and equality.  

Donald Trump will be our president soon and it is what it is.  I refuse to buy into scare tactics and president bashing.  Instead I choose, as I hope you do, to look forward and make a difference one life at a time.  My House of Cards binge has made me acutely aware of the way things are done in government and that people are disposable if they know too much.  If you are on their radar, you don't have a chance.  Poverty. Crime. Healthcare crisis.  International relations.  All of these are issues which are vital to us as a people and they are in the hands of fools with power as an agenda.  In the words of my Daddy and Mr Yates  " This too shall pass."  

I think I set a personal record today for sleep.  I passed out after Papa John's about 5:30 and slept until 8 this morning.  That's a lot of zzzzzs.  I listen to my body now and rest when I have the opportunity.  I sat on the john this morning and marveled at the designs made by a flock of birds......hundreds of them....over the wheat field.  It's like their movements as a group were choreographed and reminded me of the power of God.  

May each of us seek wisdom from a higher power and pursue peace and equality as a lifestyle in spite of the bad guys.  


Saturday, January 14, 2017

dirty jobs

I slept in a bit today and took my time slowly waking laying there thinking about all sorts of things.  I was in and out of dreams and for some reason replayed the great flood of 2010 in my head.  That was the headwater that trapped us here.  I was off that day and got a call about 10am from my brother that the water was coming up quick because there had been about ten inches of rain from Nashville west.  The Mississippi was close to or over flood stage so when that water hit the Forked Deer it had nowhere to go.  Lauren and I went to town for supplies and I passed the neighbor and told her to get OUT with the kids.  I assumed hubby would go with them.  

By the time we returned less than an hour later, Samaria Bend was impassable by car.  I asked Mr. Smith if I could leave my car there at his shop because it never gets up in there and we caught a ride in the back of Clara's county work truck with James Frank.  Mozella was up front with Clara.  I swear to you, that truck floated.  Donna Webb was there with Newt and they were wanting to bring the horses up to higher ground at my house.  

 Clara got us delivered and shortly after Mr. Smith called to say the water was about to get our cars!  Oh boy.  Should have left the keys in it.  Soooooo...I noticed that a pickup truck had gone to the neighbor's house and I hoofed it down there to catch a ride out to the highway.  When I arrived I found the truck door open and a screaming baby in the back seat.  I had never been in the house while this bunch lived there so I crept up to the door and hollered for help.  The neighbor and the baby's daddy were doing lord knows what but I asked for a ride when they left.  Dude pulled up in the driveway and honked shortly after.  Me and Lauren piled in the back of yet another truck.  This time, the driver was an idiot and almost killed all of us cutting through a muddy field at 50 mph to get to the golf course road.  I was ready to jump when we finally hit pavement and I'll be damned if we didn't have to go through the deepest part of the water anyway.  Dumbass.  

So the cars got moved but we had no way home.  I called my buddy Heath and he brought us through in his truck one last time.  The next vehicle that went through was a tractor and then it was too deep even for that.  The details are fuzzy.  I stayed with Gigi and BG stayed with somebody else so we could get to work.  It took a week for the road to become passable.  Meanwhile, James Frank took daddy in a boat up to the bypass to catch a ride to Dr. Guthrie.  You seriously can't make this shit up.  

I had a short list and forgot that the post office opens at 9 so I went from there to Lowe's for quickrete.  I have mom and daddy's mailbox and seriously need to get it in the ground.  Back to the post office for stamps and then onward to the gentral.  I left the house with a shovel and a box determined to move my daddy's fuschia colored peonies to my yard.  To say I'm out of shape for that kind of work is an understatement.  After much cussing, self motivational speeches and a visit from daddy's spirit, I finally got the clump out of the ground and into the trunk.  Where it still sits, by the way.  I figure i'll pay a kid 20 bucks to do the mailbox and get to the peonies tomorrow.  I was tempted not to make that last stop at Casa Grands but I know me and if I hadn't done it then, it would not have happened.  Room for the spirit to work, so to speak.  

At the crossover on Samaria Bend this morning I stopped and gawked at a convoy of humvee looking vehicles streaming north on 51 and wondered if it was guard weekend or the army's here.  You never know.  I hear their blackhawks over at the airport from time to time.  It's a distinctly different sound from the Air Evac that runs over my roof daily.  

Mamye found a super dooper deal on NICE crockpots at Kroger and just so happened to find one with Steve's Broncos logo on it.  Before they came to visit she asked if I wanted one ....Steelers.  I told her I didn't care if it had Trump's face on it, for fifteen bucks bring it on.  Which she did, and a good time was had by all.  I was wore ass out and they headed home shortly after.  

Baby steps ~

Friday, January 13, 2017

off the grid

Like many of you I am world weary.  There is too much technology available to all ages that has precluded silence and "just being."  That is holy time and should be fully experienced.  That's what blogging is for me.  It's a vehicle to let my mind wander and tell little stories about this or that.  When I first started I was one of those who bitched all day every day about the war.  It took awhile for me to see that was not good for my soul.  

Also during that time I fell completely head over heels in love, from a distance.  That worked for me because I did my own thing.  We are still friends to this day.  We went through our parents' deaths together.  We know what's up with the kids.  That easy sort of friendship where you don't have to explain a lot because the history is there is something that will always calm a soul.  There's a group of folks that I know would come running if I needed them and he's one.  By the grace of God, I have a large group.  

I went to bed with the air on so it was kind of chilly when I got up and the temp had dropped 30 degrees.  Crazy weather, just saying.  The mist is thick and low like in a horror movie.  If there were corn up it would be the perfect setting for the children to come out as zombies.  

Enjoy your whatever ~

Thursday, January 12, 2017

mad enough to spit

Healthcare is the number one industry in the great state of Tennessee.  Bob Corker is a "moderate" Republican who put forth an amendment during Senate hearings on repealing the ACA.  His amendment proposed putting off the deadline for dismantling the ACA until at least March in order to find a workable replacement for the millions who will be affected.  There were lots of amendments put forth, and in the end he WITHDREW his.  So much for moderate.  Tennessee is the home to corporate headquarters of some of the giants in the healthcare sector as well as to Blue Cross Blue Shield.  One would think that it would be a priority to prop up the business a bit with things like accepting Medicaid money but noooooo.  That was nixed from the get go.  Corker had a chance to at least make a statement to his fellow party members and he bricked.   That being said, I'll take him over Alexander any day.   It's a short rant...and it is what it is. As a healthcare provider I'm curious to see what "replace" looks like. 

While I'm disheartened by the state of things, I realize that it's out of my control.  If I hear one more person call Medicare and Social Security "entitlements" I'll probably climb the water tower.  I've been paying for those future benefits my entire career.  They are not a handout but money that the federal government has forcibly taxed me with and I expect them to be there.  In 2016 alone, I paid over 3K in SS and almost a thousand for the medicare "tax".  That is money that I earned the hard way.

Enough ranting.  It's 72 degrees and it doesn't look things are gonna' change more than 10 or 15 degrees over the next week.  Something ain't right with this picture.   I'm not complaining though.  It beats ice and snow.  

I hit the door running at the sawmill today because there are always lots of sick folks.  You just never know what a day's going to bring and this was no exception.  We just keep on keeping on!

I'm kind of wordless today which seems odd.  It must mean I've purged enough lately to be somewhat at peace.  As the boxes are explored and the memories sorted through,  I'm getting to relive a part of life that I had forgotten.  I'm grateful that my mother and daddy were camera freaks.  

Don't stop thinking about tomorrow ~

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

duck season

I  live in a sort of wildlife sanctuary surrounded by the Forked Deer river.  There are only one or two who have permission to hunt and one is all about the ducks.  Thus....BOOOMMM!   Tis the season.  I heard them shooting as I was outside cleaning the car and carrying in supplies from the 'gentral.  

Meanwhile, I returned a call from someone whom I only recently met but who is my kind of gal.   We discussed everything from career options to family history.  Then Mamye called and we made a pact to catch up after their doc's visit.  Therefore, I've accomplished nothing except one load of clothes.  Hey...the day is young.  

I've been tripping over season 3 of House of Cards considering the current state of our affairs in the USA.  I honestly have the soundtrack as an earwig.  I've read all sorts of insults and tributes following the last official speech of our President.  I admire him tremendously.  While I disagreed with the level of troop drawdown in the Middle East and the corporate bailouts, I think he has done the right thing most every time, or at least tried.  A Republican congress is a nasty battle to fight.  McConnell will die someday a lonely angry old man and I'll just say "bless his heart."  

Having a bonus day.  And loving it ~

Tuesday, January 10, 2017


Lerd, what a day.  It was busy from start to finish so it's a good thing I left my badass phone at home.  It was sort of free feeling to not be tied to the outside world by the devil.  It has rained all day long and is blowing like a hurricane but in the 50s so I'll take it and say thank you.  My friend's husband was in a terrible wreck a couple of months ago and I saw her for the first time since I met her in the ER parking lot.  She showed me video of Rodney dancing with his therapist and playing piano.  God is good.  All the time.  

Shortly before I left I answered the work phone and was greeted by none other than WW Council's grandson Hiya.  I last saw him when his mother was a patient.  He didn't know Mom had died and was sad to hear it when he expressed condolence for Daddy.  Said he always liked him.  He and his brother spent their childhood running this farm as did my brothers.  

The mayor called last night for her B12 shot so I moseyed on down there in the rain to shoot her up.  Her house is always locked up tight but the door was open and it was dark so I just hollered and wandered on back.  I found her in the "warm" room watching TV.  She struggled with her cane to get out of the recliner and show me where the stash was.  I had already run into the owner of my final resting place, Gerald.  His and Danny's dogs got in a fight and he tried to break it up.  Guess who has cellulitis.

Sage burning aside, I feel the karma in my life moving to a more positive level.  I refuse to harbor hate no matter how heinous the act may seem.  I don't want to hear about people dismembering their babies or Republicans freaking out on the news.  I want happy shit, by golly.  As for Trump, I figure that orange hair will make him an easy target.  Remember when everybody was all freaked out about Y2K?  I see inauguration night as being like that.  

Be gentle with your soul ~

Monday, January 9, 2017

my heroes

Lorna and I met quite accidentally through a mutual friend who just KNEW we would be soul sisters.  While I've plodded along working for corporate she has traveled the world.  It soon became evident to me that one of our biggest bonds was living in pecan orchards.  Her's is all up front. The one I enjoy lines the road.  Notice I didn't call it "mine".   She has three children and her son is a man with vision way beyond his years.  I stopped by his restoration project this afternoon and got an upclose and personal look at that brick and red concrete.  The ceilings gleam with piping against original metal ceiling tracks.  According to his mom, he and his sister caught the technology bug from their dad Horace.  

Chris was the facilitator for a class we attended a couple of years ago called CoStarters.  It was a well put together set of instructions and training exercises focused on defining a business goal and making it happen.  I don't know about ya'll but I'd love nothing more than to give corporate my notice and pursue a dream.  Through that interaction with local business professionals I could actually see the possibilities in my life.  And then all those people started dying.  

I know at times it seems that I make excuses. The truth is, I know my limits and pick my battles.  Long ago I recognized procrastination as a passive aggressive behavior.  Maybe if I just did a primal scream or two I'd get something done.  

And just bless all our hearts ~