Tuesday, April 25, 2017

today's dilemma

I was headed to the car when i spotted the trunk open and the garbage hanging out where I failed to take it to the road yesterday afternoon.  Since there's a light in there I was sure it would be dead as a doornail but to my surprise it started right up.  Thank you Jesus!  I then pulled up to the roadside bin and reached for the handle to get out and do the deed when the sucker broke off in my hand.  Soooooo I was forced to crawl out of the passenger side and empty the garbage.  I can get IN even though the handle itself is broken off because I know how to do it.  It's that way on both sides up front.  Now, I can't get OUT without the climb which is a bitch for an old woman like me.  I called a salvage yard, found the parts and when I showed up to get them the guy said he didn't have it he would have to go " take it off".  *sigh*  Promised he'd have it by tomorrow morning.  Just for kicks I drove by Patterson Brothers to see what's up with the tire situation and they said when I get the door handle parts they can do that at the same time they install and balance the tires.  That is WHEN the part comes for their balancer.  *shit*.  The car is 16 years old and falling apart.  Talk about your lack of mobility.  This is not a good thing with a grandchild on the way in another town.  

That being said, I read today that my artist friend Mary totaled her vehicle and is looking for one as well.  I'm not sure what happened but she seemed pretty grateful to be alive.  I should be too, so I choose to see it that way.  I know .... Pollyanna to the bone.  

I honestly feel like I'm in the desert.  There are so many wonderful things in my life to be grateful for and I am.  It's just the weariness that comes with having to put out fires and climb hills every.single.day.  This is lab week so we're eating free lunch all week and we munched out on Chick Fil A today.  Matt seriously loves us and the feeling is mutual.  Marfy made my day with her intention to stay around a little longer so there's that blessing too.

Mommy needs a vacay~

Monday, April 24, 2017

almost a nurse

I've been a lab tech/phlebotomist for almost 40 years now.  I never had to do an EKG or ABG but that was the lab's responsibility before RT came to be.  If you know what all these terms mean, plus STAT then you're almost a nurse like me.  Or else you watch a lot of Code Black.  When I hired on the lab was still doing titrations on stomach acid with invasive tube like procedures and I said hell no I did not go to college for this.  

I've seen an assistant pathologist cut a guy open with a saw and a cig hanging out of his mouth.  That was back in the days of Dr. Inclan and Betty Rothrock.  The morgue was not a fun place however it's where I learned never to eat liver and why not to have an autopsy unless foul play is suspected.  If that's the case?  Let the pros do it.

The primary focus of my career has been on treatment and testing in the Blood Bank.  That includes inventory management and policy and a good bit of training and phone answering.  Everybody wants what they want and they want it now.  We help each other out in a crisis usually in a professional manner that requires just a nod or a look.  As a team....meaning all departments....we save lives and do good things.  There are bad outcomes on most any day because the people are sick or they wouldn't be there.  There's a huge dilemma with somebody's number being up and lack of empathy for a sick person.  I've seen all facets of it and you are fortunate to have somebody who cares at the bedside.

My eyes were swollen shut again today after yesterday's meltdown.  I'm glad she's not sick anymore.  Same for my parents and all the people I've loved and lost.  I got not one but two hugs from Dodo today which was a nice way to start lab week along with free!food!   Sam and Oscar are sticking close to me making sure that we're still a tribe even without Sophie.  Not sure where Lily is but you know cats.  

My friend Sue is at the beach freezing to death but I bet it's warmed up by now. Don't forget my sand girlfriend.  


Sunday, April 23, 2017

the rainbow bridge

I'm not sure if that's a legend or a truth but I honestly believe that's how those that we love cross over to the light.  Sophie went there early this morning on my bed which was her favorite spot.  Sam and Oscar wanted out at daylight so I got up to open the front door and as Sam passed me I heard a big gassy sound and knew for sure he had just farted right in my face.  I went on into the bathroom and returned to find Sophie passed on.  That was the sound and the smell and I've been there before.  I picked her up and put her lifeless body on the floor next to the bed and immediately called for help from my grave digging friends and neighbors.  Then I started digging with my brand new shovel.  

Bev and Patrick and Mamye all showed up with theirs and we got the hole done deep enough to cover and top with a straw bale.  There will be something growing over her body soon like a tomato or something.  It needs a few more bricks to keep the digger critters out.  Ethel's yellow iris are blooming so there's your flowers for a proper burial.  By the way, Daddy's peonies are ready to bust wide open.  

Keep the faith ^j^

Saturday, April 22, 2017

best laid plans

We had it all worked out for the weekend trip home except it didn't happen because of numerous things like weather and my mental state following yesterday's drama.  Like BG said, it just wasn't meant to be.  I came home to find Sophie firmly entrenched under the porch and I had to crawl in there and flush her out.  As much as I'm scared of mr snake, y'all know I love that dog a lot.  She managed to make it up the steps and into the house where she spent the night on blankets.  Then this morning, out she went wobbling down the steps to lay in the rain.  I had a lot going on but managed to get some gatorade and syringes to try and get some lytes in her.  I picked her 60 pound self up and carried her up the steps to my room where she is currently chilling on the bed.  If she's not better by Monday, it's time for the vet.  

BGs ohone is a piece of crap so I upgraded at the local ATT store with a delightful lady named Lisa who truly knows her stuff.  While I was there various confused people came in with questions for she and her co-worker.  By that time I had missed lunch with my girlfriends so I just headed on home for the day.  It's blackberry winter you know.  Following days of rain the temps are running in the fifties.  Jim always appreciates the weather report, right?

I'll keep y'all updated on the sick puppy situation.  She's so incredibly sweet that it makes me sad to see her so lethargic.  Either she was poisoned or got into something bad but she's still wagging her tail so there's that.  

Peace and love ~

Friday, April 21, 2017

life is hard

Probably the most important book I've ever read is The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck.  That phrase is the first sentence of that book and a solid truth around which all the rest of his hypothesis is built.  We rail against injustice in numerous ways that are acted out in our daily lives when, in fact, if we TRULY grasp the fact that life is indeed hard, controlling behavior can be a distant memory.  It's not just you honey....it's hard for everybody.  People we love die or move away.  Jobs end. Marriages fail.  Trust is broken.  It happens every day and very often to those who deserve it least.  

This is when big girl panties come into play.  I started trying to put mine on when I went to therapy in my 30s and it's been a rocky road ever since.  Hey...at least it's interesting.  As a healthcare provider I'm one of those who truly does want to "help people".  Most of us start out that way but time and experience often result in burnout particularly when money is involved.  As a strong advocate for the patient it really bothers me to observe practitioners who just don't care about anything but the buck.  

The shopping for Reaves continues and cousin Sandy has done an order at Carter's that will be full of treasures I'm sure.  She also brought me the latest addition to my beach sand collection, this time from Panama City.  Plus a Dove peanut butter egg.  Who loves me right?  

I'm frazzled and worn out with the details of trying to keep my world twirling.  I guess I should pull that book out and read it again, huh?

Let it go ~ 

Thursday, April 20, 2017

dog gone

The hottest front page story in our local news has been about an asshat who shoots dogs that come on his property.  He has kinda' sorta' free range chickens and just hates it when the puppies start digging.  He was warned several years ago after killing several pets to ceaseand desist.  This time, he did the deed and transported the bodies to the side of 51 North around Trimble.  They were labs and somebody's babies.  

Speaking of which, Sophie is MIA.  She's always on my bed except for short potty breaks and I remember letting the whole pack out yesterday morning at dawn.  Sam and Oscar were here to greet me after work.  I did what I do and carried on and didn't even notice she wasn't in her usual cuddling spot.  When I came home and she still wasn't here, I started driving the 'hood and calling around.  If I had a dime for every time Faith did that I'd be in Fiji but Sophie just isn't built that way.  She's a homebody and a baby girl.  Three years old with soulful eyes likeher grandmas.  

The rain started as soon as I headed down Samaria Bend and Clara was behind me going to check on her girls.  Driving back east I noticed Daddy's white peonies blooming so I stopped to pick some.  The crimson ones should be ready by mother's day. 

As luck would have it my tire folks need a part for their installer balancer thingy so I can't get new tread for the weekend of BG transport.  So...onto plan B whatever that is.  It's totally out of my hands.  

Peace. Be. Still ~

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

count zubrovka

"You should blog" he said.  "What's that, I asked."  At that point JL Yarbro proceeded to explain to me what a weblog was and how it was a vehicle for writers and photographers like myself.  Thousands of posts later, I come here to pay homage to my old and dear friend who was one of a kind.  

John lived with his parents Big John and Cissy next door to my grandparents Gaga and Pawpaw so we were constant companions as children.  We grew up attending FUMC together.  We followed each other to graduation from DHS and beyond as fellow hippies and soulmates.  My grandmother told mom about Miss Cissy coming over all freaked out over Little John being sick with a fever as a small child.  My grandfather died when John and I were three, leaving Gaga in that house on College Hill alone.  

John was married before, but Jana is the love of his lifetime.  I came to know her through him and she accepted his hard headed ways with some trepidation but always tolerance.  He was an artist and musician as well.  I remember a period when he would scout graveyards and take mesmerizing black and white photos of the stones that told life stories of the generations.  He recognized that I had a gift for photography and gave me what will forevermore be known as the badass Leica.  Back in 1995 he probably paid 2K for it and it was state of the art.  He delivered it to me in a bag complete with all the supplies I needed including cards and lenses.  I had a ball with it for years until I left it in the rain one day.  I think the camera itself still works, but the cable doesn't.  

Fast forward a few years and he contacted me about a gift of his parents' 95 white Cadillac Seville with less than 100K miles on it.  It was a money pit....always something going wrong and costing an arm and a leg to fix but we loved it.  He thought my parents would enjoy riding to church in it, and they did.  That car is still sitting in my front yard here on the lane and hasn't moved in a year.  It's a classic, for sure.  

That kind of generous heart is something that has always meant a lot to me.  He could have sold that camera and that car and pocketed the money but instead he chose to enrich my life.  My heart breaks for all of us who loved him.  Like Chucky said " See you on the other side buddy."

Spirit in the Sky ~