Wednesday, May 25, 2016

gift from the sea

I have never been to the beach when it didn't rain at least once a day so this is an exceptional weather pattern for the panhandle of Florida.  I have totally enjoyed meeting random people and bonding with them.  We have made up names for a lot of them like Steely Dan and Minnie Mouse.  There's Becky from Arkansas who is moving to Little Rock from Texarkana and talks to anybody who will listen. Some guy upstairs has a pipe that he taps all the time.  There are old ladies playing cards too right above my head with a 2nd floor view. We took beach pictures, several of them.  I've had the time of my life so a big thanks to Heifer for being my travel guide. 

My friend called from Shelby to tell me that the weather forecast is 100% chance of rain for the next week plus I missed some big storms last night and this morning.  He always thinks about me when the tornado sirens wail.  Bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!   Somewhere around 2006 we had huge one close to the 'burg and a lot of folks got killed including Heather's grandma and uncle.  We've been through all that history and are moving forward, 

There is something about being in a different scenario that sets the imagination free.  That is something that can't be done while in the heat of everyday life.  I've been a blogger for a lot of years and never posted away from home.  Now I know that I can!  In the words of Mary Engelbreit " No matter where you go, there you are." We colored her art today with pencils.  I have no water blisters , thankyouverymuch.  When we went away last time it was to the Robert Trent Jones golf trail and village of little boxes.  I like this much better. 

Tomorrow we head back to Tennessee and real life.  Surely there's something funny ahead for me and mine.  If not, I will smooth find my own joy. 


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

happy as a crab leg

Heather is cooking dinner tonight which sounds like some creamy shrimp pasta, crab legs and garlic bread.  We had a nice day on the beach with another green flag and high spf day.  There were hats all around, just saying.  Our neighbor Katherine and her family were doing the sights with all 3 of their kids.  She and Nanny bonded last night after I gave up the ghost. 

I love watching the beach people with their wagons and whatnot.  Everybody has a story but it must be clear by 5PM.  That's when the  beach patrol gets off!  We were blessed by some incredibly devoted guy this morning who drilled for our umbrella rather than Heather having to twist that rusted out old thing.  If I'm not mistaken, it's the same one we took to Destin in 2010.

God is good.  All the time ~

Sunday, May 22, 2016

beach bloggin'

There won't be much of it because well.....I'm not used to using the laptop.  Heather drove us like a pro all the way down through Mississippi, Alabama and straight to the beach.  The weather is gorgeous and so is the condo.  First floor walkout with just a few feet navigate.  THIS is heaven plain and simple  I watched a couple of guys get called in by beach patrol with a whistle this morning for going too far on their boogie boards. Looked like father and son, both totally embarrassed. 

I'm being very careful with the sun because I'm white plus there's this whole skin dysplasia thing going on from prior sun damage.   Not only is the sound of the surf working on my soul, the salt and sand are doing their detox thing.  We have a 9 year old in our party who keeps things lively in a good girl sort of way.  She's old enough to mind and young enough to not have an attitude.  Especially with Nanny and Aunt Heather.  P is watching over the furbabies for me and he has puppies of his own so that's a good friend for you. 

BG was originally booked to come with us but plans change and she's job hunting instead.  I'll see her next weekend after I get back to real life.  We mailed her a card today with Hoops and Yoyo screeching....I can't help it, I just adore them.  If the world ends or Trump gets elected, y'all send me an IM and a heads up.   This old gal is totally in fantasy land.

Calm ~

Friday, May 20, 2016

coulda' shoulda'

That was the name of a blog I used to read back in the day.  The author was an author herself  in love with Joshilyn Jackson at the time which is how I became acquainted with her.  I won a signed copy of Gods in Alabama and have never considered kudzu the same way since.  A heap is a mighty good place to stash a body, just ask Karen Swift's murderer.  Still no charge some years later if I'm not mistaken.  That smooth got swept under the rug....just saying.  The moral to that story is don't be a fitness instructor I guess.  Same thing happened to some girl in Texas except without the kudzu.

My friend Pax up in Joisey is hurting really badly right now and I truly feel his pain.  It's only been four months since I was living the life he is dealing with and the memories are still fresh.  It becomes like a movie that won't end well and you know it but damn.  Knowing enough as he and I do about the system and how elders navigate is a blessing that I continue to count.  It could have been so.much.worse.  So many folks have no advocate whatsoever except for the kind folks who care for them because it's their day ( or night ) job.  I work with a wonderful group of healers who give quality care, right here at home.  Our sister facility in Selmer is closed and I'm sure others will follow.  Too many people in our state are uninsured because of you know who and that bunch.  Talk to the hand bitch.  That's 300K people!

The original TennCare model was a great concept implemented under the administration of Governor Phil Bredesen.  It was promptly raped and gutted by shady day care providers  that the Fords lined up and pharmacies everywhere.  Administrators of both programs were nailed after that basically sound program ceased to be.  Since then, Tennessee has become the healthcare capital of the world.  A quick glance at sales and mergers will tell you that it's a house of cards that could topple at any time.  I'm glad I have my good looks to go on, you know?

I'm good to go on this trip with minimal baggage and a weary body.  I'm believing with all my heart that a few days of fun in the sun will relax me enough to think clearly about the next step or five.  I've got a couple of bills to pay and then it's nothing but relaxation for a week.  I told my friend Kim I was afraid to get excited because something ALWAYS happens.  This time, I don't even care.  I'm in Heather's hands and it feels good not to be in charge.

Heading south y'all........

Thursday, May 19, 2016


I have learned the hard way that when things get volatile it's best to just disconnect emotionally and act as if, especially if it's something that is revisited time and again with the same outcome.  I pick my battles now and unless I'm completely overwhelmed will just let things go.  An honest and rational discussion about things is one deal but being called out in front of peers and scolded is quite another.  That being said, I've survived it many times before and still have an ass after the chewings.  Humility and empathy give me the ability to step back and assess my part of a relationship so that I can change my response rather than trying to change the person.  See...that junior college psych course did pay off!

It's T-1 day to beach and I have piles to be packed which is actually pretty damn awesome for me.  BG dinged me out of the blue today and I'm excited to get to chat with her for the first time in a week.  Mozella, our mayor, is 96 and needs her B12 once a month and I PROMISED today so there you go.  She sticks that old muscle out there ready for the needle and never once has said it hurts.  Her friend Sally used to do the honors when she was alive.

Mozella's husband Earl was a son to Son Johnson who lived right across the gravel from our homeplace with his wife Ms Lockey.  They had the whole farm thing going with henhouses and roosters srtutting around a barnyard where the cows and pigs lived.  I remember watching Ms. Lockey wring a chicken's neck and I never wanted to see a headless one hopping around.  Scarred me for life, you know.  So did the snakes that swam in the Forked Deer backwater.

I'm totally loving the fact that Mahala doesn't have a day job because she's revisiting a lot of her old tales and she makes me laugh like a mofo.  Her TA was the inspiration for my BG.  She and I both know the hazards of working at the Asylum past the healthy point.  Right Liz? just gotta' know when to fold them.

Serenity ~

Wednesday, May 18, 2016


In recovery talk that's a no contact time for the client.  It happens at each transition just to make sure everybody's with the program and don't get stupid.  The rules change with every move and it's a true test of who is flexible enough to work with change.  In spite of what Sandra Bullock portrayed, it takes a whole helluva lot more than 28 days.  A sober living COMMUNITY is the only real pathway to staying clean yet there are pitfalls even there.  Friends made while sober for a few weeks often hit the streets back to usual and run into the recovering client.  That's when God has a hand in things.  Believe it or not, social de-tox is a real thing what with all our devices to be addicted to.  That's why it's so important to establish residency where you don't have sources.

We have very important people walking around the sawmill taking notes.  Thanks be to the lort, our close scrutiny was two weeks ago and I got to leave on time.  Lunch breaks are now spent running errands and eating in the car because *corporate.  Until I was mandated to do it, I never realized how much of a life saver it is just to change scenery for 30 minutes.  No noise except for the rumble of the Camry.  The value menu at Wendy's beats the 6 dolla' special at work.  Just saying.

So.  The DNC all has their panties in a wad over Bernie supporters questioning the vote which is very close,  by the way, in a non delegate sort of way.  If you follow the big wins for both he and Hillary it's quite plain to see that his crowd is much more progressive in states where there aren't that many rednecks conservatives and high dollar Dems.  What I see shaping up is something that America has never seen, Ralph Nader and Ross Perot notwithstanding.   For the histrionic DNC leadership to suggest that Sanders supporters might get violent at the convention is absurd and a nasty tactic.  Play nice DWS.

Believe it or not, it's still chilly.  Heather sent me the forecast for our beach place and it looks almost perfect. Low 80s all week!  I'm getting organized slowly which is the only way I know how.  There's bound to be a name for that syndrome other than procrastination.  If so, I need a cure.  The babysteps that I take to get up and move ahead feel good.  And what's up.

Waves ~

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

making a list

There are literally piles of stuff to be washed in every room of the house.  I slept a little late and got my hair cut before heading out for the swimsuit adventure.  I hate to shop so it took me exactly 15 minutes to get in and out of JC Penney.  Meanwhile my beachmate and her hubby are on their own little adventure.  I pray that there is success!   I figure being on the beach will be a good way to bring positive vibes toward you know where.  Chucky and I talked about everything and nothing and the rest of the crew is a new mix of  licensed students, hand picked by their instructor and co-owner of the salon and the usuals.  One lady was there to get a do on CRUTCHES.  I've never wanted it that bad y'all.  Anyway, it's short and cute and has sea salt spray on it.  I don't do ponytails well, just saying.

Jill Stein began quietly and intelligently trolling for supporters around the same time that Bernie began in earnest to gain steam.  Her party is Green which is better than red or blue at this point.  Here's my suggestion:  She and Bernie should team up and rock everybody's world.  I'd go for that in a heartbeat and even leave EW alone about leaving the Senate for a run.  Just give me an option puleeeeezzz!  I will not support any political party that does not match my own personal beliefs.  Period.   At this point that includes, but is not limited to, access to medical cannabis and a huge step away from opiates.  I mean gawd...the oil cures cancer!  No chemo in the world has ever done that completely.  It's also good for seizure disorders that have previously been treated with a benzo cocktail.  Phoenix it.

The house is looking better slowly but surely.  You can see the floor in every room and the piles are getting organized.  It's like I've been "picking" in my own house for two years.  I'm still behind on the yard but that can wait until right before corporate.  As long as the inside is decent and has a place to sit we're good.  I haven't seen Harvey since he was a pallbearer for Daddy.  I am forever grateful that his family honored a decades old agreement but also because he has a keen interest in preserving the history here.  Maybe I can talk him into a pumpkin patch or something.  The little neighbor girl would love it.  Speaking of which, they have a huge plot out back and Bev is working her ass off to produce some fresh food.

It's still blackberry winter here.  Cousin Sandy came to visit in a hoodie last night and we had a contest to see who could keep the longest ash up in the air like Gaga did.  Only she would have hers in her LIP and be talking.  After a couple of tries, Sandy won hands down.  She's a night shift OB nurse so we have *lots* in common besides our blood family.   I babysat she and her sister Nancy when their parents lived on College.  I dream about that house and want so badly walk up there with Floyd Speck's art and do a walk through.  I still have moments when I can visualize the layout of the place.

I'm tired of justifying myself to others and taking emotional abuse from people with their own agendas.  I'm watching  kildeer do it's thing on the gravel keeping those babies safe from Mr. Snake.  It's hilarious and calming all rolled into one.  Before I got this bigass window, I never knew what I was missing.  Nothing like nature viewing with the AC on.  

Work smarter ~