Friday, October 9, 2015

remember when

One of my new favorite passions is looking at old photographs of familiar places and seeing what the lifestyle was way back when.  Recently there was a picture posted of an ancient skating rink that was on STILTS because of the Forked Deer river.  It sat where Lowery's was just north of the kudzu bar that was my mid-life single years crisis.  An iron bridge runs across the back side leading from Southtown proper to the Tire Barn and David's place.  Oh, and um.  What used to be The Hideaway.  I went in there once helping Yaya sling Avon and swore never again.  A true bar fly, I am not.

I'm still not motivated to do much except sleep and work and play but I figure it's my time to rest up for the next big adventure.  And lord knows what that will be!  I saw today, for the first time, a strategy for voters that has already crossed my mind which is, of course, Bernie and EW.  No, she's not running for POTUS, he is.  BUT, she has extensive knowledge about finance and what got us to where we are and I do believe the two of them would cause some party lines to be crossed.  And we all know what that means...don't we.  If the thought of Rubio, Walker or Ryan leading this country doesn't scare you just a little bit?  You are delusional.  They are backed by the most hostile supporters around when it comes to public health issues, including but not limited to : birth control and gun control.  These tea partiers think that everything they earn should be theirs and tax free so they can be richer.  Or so Jesus will love them, one or the other.

There are ten basic commandments and they're really pretty simple.  Don't kill. Honor thy father and mother.  No adultery. No false gods ( like money and oil and power.)  Do unto others.  Be a good Samaritan. Walk that Emmaus road with your friends and share.  Remember what you saw, where you've been and how people treated you.  And then?  Do the next right thing.

BG is in the midst of a move and now has car problems which will involve an oil pan cleanup and all the accompanying drama.  There is a U-haul reserved and rent put down.  I met my (kinda') new neighbor on the road today and she's friendly, a healthcare provider like myself.  She seemed like the kind that deserves a to-die-for house.  We were talking at work today about Julie the puppy saver who scooped up five of Ryder's baby in her Hummer and took them to be fostered, then adopted into Northern homes.  Five of the ten are still around here, including Maggie Mae and Jet.  I get to see them on FB all the time.  Chester evidently got fixed because he's been close to home with Reece.

Chester's owner was one of many many folks who lined up to pay respects to my father after his death.  I could see the pain in his eyes and all the others who had looked up to him as an honorable hard working fellow.  The years have all run together on me but I remember him being that much and more.  His end of life experience was one that he chose, staying home until he couldn't any longer.  Same thing with Mom.  She spent nights alone in that house for about two months, almost blind and barely able to walk.  That she is still kicking means she is destined for happier days.

Y'all leave a message at the *beep*

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

the book

Everybody's favorite thing to say to me is you should write a book.  I thought about it back in the labor intensive days of floppy disks and blinking cursors.  At the time I was an an avid reader of the Faith section of the Commercial Appeal, particularly fond of David Waters and several that followed him.  Their coverage of religious issues at street level is the closest many people will ever be to knowing poverty as a lifestyle.  I remember back when both parents needed taken every damn where and I thought to myself "will this ever end?" I don't feel guilty about it either.  We have known for some time that it  wasn't a safe situation and  God took care of the details.    The fields are banded with gold on green where the beans are changing.  It's a sight to behold around that old barn where Babygirl, Trapper and Pride once stomped.  .  

Now bear with me because  it's huuuummp day.  I know that I am still actively grieving, letting go of the past in little snippets and big heaves.  Ownership of property in the absence of healthy respect for its' heritage is a sin, I do believe Jesus would say.  We learn from the past and move toward the light, umkay?   I don't care if you have a zillion guns as long as they are licensed and purchased legally, not online.  There's the kicker, kids.  That business is right up there with the Koch brothers.  Cops need AKs.  Johnny I-hate-everything and you're next definitely does not.  Go.Away.

So it seems we're in two different camps on the issue.  Mental health?  A hot mess.  Gun sales?  Bigger than ever!  Remember how cops got overloaded in places like Ferguson and others and freaked the fuck OUT.   This is anarchy and eventually all the king's men won't be able to fix it.  Not even Superman.  I have a glimmer of faith that gets a bit brighter every day.  Watching young people get excited about the election is the coolest thing I've ever seen.  No candidate that I can remember has really done that.  He cuts to the chase and calls you out in a heartbeat which is totally the easiest way rather than all this thrashing and memeing about with mad little trolls spewing vile things. TOzzy my ass. 

If I had a dime for every partisan discussion I've had I'd be in Fiji and able to buy my own Sugardaddy.  I was raised by Republican Beaver Cleaver type folks and actually campaigned for Lamar once before I know what I know now.  John Jay Hooker was the one with the catchy song and a liberal I do believe.   Governor Bredesen was one of the best I've seen for a redneck state like Tennessee.  Since his party left office, the state education system has shall we say "downsized".  I did notice that our local community college has partnered with UTM for dual studies which is way cool.  

All we are saying is give peace a chance........


Tuesday, October 6, 2015


Not really, y'all.  South Carolina is washing away and kids are killing other kids because of unsupervised and non secure firearms.  I sincerely hope that the parents of that boy are held accountable for their negligence. I'm not talking money wise because it will not bring back that little girl OR save their son from going to jail forever.  These people are in prime position to step up to the plate and say "Look...this is what happens."  Thinking about other shooters getting off with their overbearing mamas at the firing range just makes me want to throw up.  That they kill themselves at the end of the carnage is the truly narcissistic act.  I am extremely disturbed that more moderate Republicans are not getting on the "back away from NRA" wagon because they are selling death one gun and one voter at a time.  Hide and watch.  I bet Rubio will be the first.  

Most days I do good to remember my own name and find some shoes.  Socks never match but at least they're new and so is the underwear.  My drawers had so many holes in them that I was truly afraid I'd end up at the ER and all my co-workers would laugh.  Nothing there matches either, but it's clean.  Poor Mom is worried to death because she only has one pair of pjs meaning only one pair that buttons up the front old school style.  She hangs out in those little cotton dusters and is tired as hell of the Big Orange cast, particularly considering their season thus far.  

The Vols memorabilia still sits in the 80 degree house surrounded by neighbors who know what cars should be around which is a mighty good feeling.  Sometimes I just go in there and wander, hearing sounds of the past like my brothers and I giggling in front of a giant window fan upstairs or Daddy decorating the Christmas tree under Mom's watch.  He loved it as much as her and couldn't wait to get out those little white candles to put in the front windows.   The original house is a log cabin where you can actually see the logs inside of the living and dining area.  The rest is primo wood for walls.  The windows are not much better than mine and we actually had to put plastic in front of the one behind mama's bed to keep the wind out.  

Today is my baby brother's birthday and I sent him a happy early on just because I love him.  He enjoys the special things like me.  Bubba says it's "just another day."  Alrighty then!  I'll take cake even if it is a week late.  This is what my Daddy meant when he told me that the older you get, the faster time seems.  I have maybe ten good years left in the workforce and no possible way to survive on SS if it's still there.  And you know what?  It pisses me off too that so many disability recipients are addicts.  That's not a's a life choice and there are options other than chasing the dragon.  

As with most of my life, the addictions are simple.  Ultra, Salem and 10 hours of sleep keep me in the middle of the road as we wander through this next phase, whatever it may be.  I visited the tombstone store today and priced various combinations that would include Daddy's bronze plaque.  It was hot but I was determined to at least start the process and I'm glad I did.  At least now I know where it's going to go.  

Peace and love ~

Monday, October 5, 2015

free bird

I was blessed by getting off a couple of hours early and jumped at the chance.  By Monday standards it was light over there and they were ready to head on back to Shelby county, home of Elvis and other famous folks like Kemmons Wilson and what's his name at FedEx.  It is the city where Martin Luther King led a sanitation strike that was a product of blacks having something other than servitude as a lifestyle.  He preached passive resistance to hate by organizing non-violent marches where people had a voice.  And then some cracker shot him right there at the Lorraine.  There's a museum there now in honor of his life which is quite an accomplishment.   When I read the theory yesterday about RFK and Oregon, it gave me the willies because
BEHGHAZI  emails by gawd!

Since it's hoodie time me and  the Bern are spending quality moments cussing about how damn hard headed some people can be.  Anyone who cannot see the NRA as the devil right now is sort of.....left behind.  They do not care about your 2nd amendment rights man.  It's all about the MONEY!!!!!  Geez, I wish I had a benzo or something.  I finally feel fired up enough to take on my future which is becoming more and more different by the day.  Having the pressure of constant parental care under control has allowed me lots of deep breaths.  A friend at work today said she heard I had " a rough patch" and we caught up.  Our co-worker is very sick but eating again so there's that!

We're still dealing with the feds on money and  I had to get a copy of the FH balance today for filing.  Meanwhile the Kochs and Soros ( that's for you Doolin ) lounge around in the islands with servants of their own.  Nobody in the world should have that kind of power except for Big Ernie.  Which is why I'm excited about the prospects.  People are mad as hell and rightfully so.  Peaceful resistance is guaranteed by law....tell that to the Occupy people who got sprayed.  What happened in 2008 is a disgrace and a very good reason not to play partisan politics anymore.  Think for yourself, y'all.  And send Bernie 30 bucks!!


Sunday, October 4, 2015


When David Petraeus fell from grace, I tried really hard not to be smug because, hey.  Lives were ruined by his reckless behavior PLUS he was in charge of the entire Iraq/Afghan arena.  During the war years, I followed Micheal Yon closely as he chronicled the day to day life of our soldiers who quickly signed up for the opportunity to fight those who would dare take us down.  What happened to us on 9/11 happens every day in other countries like Syria and Iraq.  The headline story at Huffpost is about just that and more.   I vaguely knew what PTSD was prior to these I know all too well how it screws with your head and endangers friends and family.  Yes, it is real. And yes, the war caused it.

That being said, I can't help but believe that the most recent Wall Street crash was a sign of  our infrastructure coming unglued.  The rich got richer and the poor continued to, even the MIDDLE class continued to struggle.  This is bad news for commerce because when people don't have disposable income, businesses lose.  Our government propped up the banks along with many other gigantic businesses to try and keep the ship floating.  The result was that the rich got richer and never prosecuted.  End of story.  Meanwhile, we're sitting here watching our country bomb a medical facility full of innocents.  I'm sure it was a mix-up and all but why the hell are we there?  This cannot be won.

Saddam did not have WMD.  He was a two bit low level ruler and not very smart.  The premise was that we had to stop him from blowing up the world which is exactly what will happen if everybody doesn't play nice.  Israel, especially, is worrisome to me.   We have a refugee crisis on our hands that has people raising hell about sending undocumented immigrants packing when, in reality, they have nowhere to go.  Nor do the streaming masses in the Middle East.  You people in Hungary need to read your bible a bit more closely.

My sense of humor is what keeps me going when things are dark ( like right now )  and I'm beginning to talk to myself a little.  I don't answer,  yet.  As long as I have this outlet, I think I'm safe on that one.   I managed to survive without attending another arts and crafts fair and learned a little about the shared history with Memphis' Pink Palace.  Do not confuse this with Elvis' shrine which burns brightly near the airport.   The best thing about that city is the riverfront with its' excellent view of the Mighty Mississippi.

So here we sit, polarized on things like gun rights and abortion.  Abortion is a strictly religious issue that is almost completely based on overturning Roe v Wade.  Now correct me if I'm wrong but, um:   when you have dead babies and dead college students, somebody needs to get their priorities in order and take care of business.

Gotta' take mom some breakfast shortly.  Y'all keep the faith ^j^



Saturday, October 3, 2015

weekend update

Two benadryl and a BP pill allowed me to sleep for 11 hours only waking now and then to clear out the drainage down my throat.  Allergies are at an all time devil level around here and now it's too cold to run the air!  After venturing out to pay the rent and get my hair cut ( didn't happen BUT I met the new stylist that will be my BFF.)  The salon is right next door to the hottest breakfast spot in town and they were spilling over into the empty parking lot from eggs'n'doughnuts.  The five year run of free breakfast on Daddy was spent partly there and partly at other places like Mel's Diner and Perkins, which is no more.  Their tables were always sticky anyway, and now in their place is a brand new CVS, like we need another discount pharmacy.

All the yammering about gun control is getting on my nerves so I'm kind of bowing out of that conversation because basically we all agree that it's messed up when people get murdered for no reason other than somebody is off their meds and looking to make a name for themselves.  It gives us some sort of sad diversion from what is happening to society as a whole which is a total breakdown of values.  Notice I didn't say FAMILY values because those survive in spite of a shitty economy and cash driven political system.  Babyman is in full scream mode and has been since arriving last night.    When he saw me he hollered "Grammaw!"  so I scooped his ass up and threw him on the bed.  TT gave him a bath and I went to sleepy  time.  Gizmo comes too so that's an extra two players in our little menagerie of pets and people.

My daughter was a student at Dyersburg State when they were held hostage for several hours, and fortunately  wasn't in class.  The shooter was an out of towner on some kind of demented mission to be like the idiots in Paducah.  One of the best surgeons I know  tended to those victims.  Since then it has become a total clusterfuck of gun free zones and sitting ducks.  This much, I know.  My biggest struggle is with the NRA and their blatant disregard for lives lost in the face of these tragedies.  All they can say is "guns don't kill people...people do."  Well, duh.  Oh, and there's my all time favorite "when guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns."

Hate and anger have forevermore fueled violence.  The only thing that can fix that particular root of all evil is a keen awareness of survival skills so that when the zombies come, and I think they already have, we have the courage to love others with tolerance and understanding of their lifestyles and ethnic or religious backgrounds.  If there is one true God of the universe, the rest is just details.  Take that Kim Davis.  Big Ernie will get you for that one.

Friday, October 2, 2015

dead to me

The nameless guy who slaughtered college students in Oregon is history, hell bent on a death wish that was chronicled as he watched others go down in a blaze of glory and blogged it.  People died, lives were saved and candles lit.  The bottom line is that without firearms, those people would be alive just like the kids at Sandy Hook.  Who remembers watching what'shisname with the red hair smeared all over the MSM for months.  We are drawn to this kind of train wreck mortality because we can sigh and say "thank god it's not me."  Only someday it will be you and yours if gun laws are not amended and mental health processes made more patient friendly.  We have become a society of zombies thanks to big pharm, self medicating to maintain sanity in a roller coaster world.  And no, I never miss a happy pill.

As a firm believer of the liberties promised by the constitution I cherish the American right to bear arms for defense or food.   There is no place in modern society for automatic weapons except for an easy dolla' at firing ranges or shooting up a room full of innocents.  My heroes in this entire fiasco are the two veterans who made wise tactical moves in the face of unbelievable horror...and even after all that bravery and smarts, pundits and people dead set on their cause split hairs over who is right about right to carry.  Get over your bad selves people.  No reasonable person doesn't want cops to have guns and use them responsibly.  It's that shooting randoms that gets 'em in trouble.  Everybody has a camera dude...remember? So today our favorite Bush said that "stuff happens."  Um.  Right on brother.  Donald Trump is gonna' eat you for breakfast.

My newest favorite series is Entourage because if you can't have Cusak, Piven will do.  And for once, BG returned the discs on time so it's just me and Nip Tuck.  I've been limping for a couple of weeks and showed up on time for MFR fun with Gay.  It's nice to be able to point to where it actually hurts instead of hurting all over.  In case you don't know about this form of therapy, you should Google John Barnes.  He's the guru, if you know what I mean.

Tomorrow morning is haircut and I can't wait.  Then have lunch with Mom and a gathering mission including cauliflower.  Ms. Faye called today, really missing her son and wanting to talk which we did, at length.  She will always be a part of our family  'til death do us part.  I think Babyman is coming so there will be cute pictures if he's still long enough.  Heck, it's Friday night of spring break.  Let's get crazy .  MEANWHILE thousands of local artisans have gathered at historic Reelfoot Lake selling everything from kettle corn to jewelry.  Today was the annual benefit for our community cancer fund where local volunteers do it up right and by-pass the American Cancer Society and their regional offices.  Also a smart move.

Like I told the FedEx lady....happy Friday ^j^