Thursday, July 28, 2016

brain dead

Due to the kindness of a co-worker I have an unexpected day off to do some gettin' together of my shit.  I've been revising a lot of policy and procedure and find it easier to get organized in the quiet of home.  There is also the upcoming sale at Casa Grands and I ventured down early to take some pictures.  There is still a ton of stuff there which was way overpriced so there you go.  It's do or die time so there will be bargains galore.  Hide and watch.

Just got a random call from the past which led us down memory lane for quite some time.  Karen was the microbiology queen for many years and Carol followed her up when she left.  Then came Martha!  Louise was there then and a few of us still remain.  

The medical transport helicopter just flew over which always makes me think that I'm right in their flight pattern so they could just crash all into the house here on the hill and it would be over.  Being the faithful sort I'll manifest that not to happen until I get laid one more time.  

Got stuff to do.  Later ^j^  

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

fungus among us

I'm gonna' have to wear a mask to take pictures of the vintage windows in the basement that will be in our saleapalooza next month.  The guy who installed the new ones tried to snatch them for his wife and I said umm.  Nope.  I've been looking through them this long so I'll figure out a way to turn a buck.  They will go into the big pile down at Casa Grands which is cooling as I type.  

Mr Snake lives there a lot which creeps me out but I think there's light now maybe so we shall see.  The heat wave is set to end tomorrow for us and I say Amen and thank you sweet baby jeebus.  It's been ridiculous in an oddly Southern sort of way.  I keep looking for the kudzu blooms but so far nothing.  I had no clue that they bloomed until my friend Idgie at the Dew posted about it.  The tend to cluster where the kudzu drapes over something like a tree or bush.  Or body!

I stopped by the Mayor's office to give Mozella her B12 shot and I'm praying I don't get stopped for a moving violation with a 5 cc syringe waiting to be properly disposed of.  We use these times to bond and hug and profess our love for all things us and our families together.  In an era when many Southerners espoused hatred and violence toward blacks, I grew with a whole tribe of them who took me in.  I never heard either of my parents say the N word and haven't done it myself, if I do remember correctly.

I was raised by black ladies who did domestic work and one of them is still alive in a Lake county nursing home.  I see her when shes at the sawmill and we never did go to Boyette's.  Her sister in law Margaret was the cutest little dumpling you ever saw with pigtails and a fun personality.  

There is no room in this current social crisis for violence and hatred.  Cut your losses, turn over Congress to the people and do your job.  End of story.  Realize that the collapse of and bailout of Wall Street in 2008 haunts us still in the form of lack of access to basic things like healthcare and nutrition.  Which are linked scientifically, BTW.  Also take into account that people are fleeing countries in boats to escape the harsh reality of you know who.  From this point on, they shall be some other name to me.  Like maybe FRED.

I told Mozella when the rain starts I'll dance nekkid' in it and I have to say I've done it before, right Yaya?  I saw the beautiful faces of my three best friends in one shot and it absolutely made my day even though I missed it live.  I don't even own lipstick so I would NOT have fit in.  

Our public transit in the 'burg consists of one cab service.  No bus service, The train, that's in Newbern.  BG actually rides a bus to work in a nearby town.  It would be nice to have that sort of convenience.  However I do have several heroes in the wrecker business who have gotten our asses cars from point A to point B.  You can't make this shit up.  

Time to get busy being organized.  

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

mission next

It's therapy time kids!  Y'all get to listen to my version of life which isn't to shabby at the moment except for the heat.  I'll be praying when the next utility bill shows up.  However, there is a plan in motion to liquidate the rest of the Stafford estate including two houses full of unique things. Like, so I can have a couch to lay on and stuff.  

Looking at the projected temps I figured it was best to get a few groceries during lunch rather than in mid-afternoon under the heat dome.  Of course that required lugging the perishables up the hill to the refrigerator at the sawmill until gettin' off time.  And then BACK down the hill to the Camry.  Good thing I come from strong stock.  

It warms my heart to see the graceful way that the Democratic party is coming together.  The integrity of Bernie is something I have admired from day one and I treasure my memorabilia.  For the first time in my life I knew a candidate well enough and trusted him enough to be a supporter, even though he was a rogue.  What he has done for American politics will be in history books as The Great Wakeup Call to partisan policy.

Compromise ~

Monday, July 25, 2016

not a clue

I called the doctor's office today to schedule an appointment for some colon issues.  That's my new goal to keep in good shape as long as I have insurance and can afford the 40 buck co-pay.  Fortunately Friday is payday.  The young lady who took my call reminded me that I had missed a previous appointment because who knows why.  We now have a scorecard at the front desk on no shows.  Geez. I've been a patient there for 40 years and missed ONE.   I'm talking ice queen.

I stopped in to get some gas when I noticed the red light at lunch and ran into my old friend Boatright of old time hippie days.  He's a junker from way back when who used to hang out in our den watching Bonanza.  We chatted about the abundance of cancer and our talk turned to spraying crops as a major player, especially in low areas like West Tennessee.  Traditional farming methods have killed folks for years yet nobody will try anything different to try and save the earth.  Gawd.

We had a surprise rain shower today as I was leaving work and (of course) I was soaked when I got in the house.   I'm busy tapping away at my future whatever that may be.  

I really can't describe where my head is now because it's complicated.  My brother just called worrying over his blood pressure and asking me if that 120 is a necessity to which I replied no.  If two pills is too much, take a half plus one.  Don't depend on a healthcare practitioner for everything because Lord knows they're not God.  

Do no harm ~

Sunday, July 24, 2016

mental health day

Sunday is usually go to Jackson for a visit day but I'm taking the weekend off from the real world and BG said she's good with that so there you go.  It helps tremendously that she has her phone back and we can stay in touch more closely.  It's all part of the process, ya know?

My friend Mamye came out yesterday with a bag FULL of memories that included a 1905 yearbook featuring her dad and my grandpa on the high school basketball team.  There was also a 66 year old directory from the Cumberland Presbyterian Church when it was still downtown.  The same names are still carrying forward that tradition to this day!  She's on a mission like me and Lorna to sort and archive and pitch.  It's quite good therapy.

So HRC has a running mate who sounds like an oxymoron....Virginia democrat!!  And Trump continues to use the name of Christianity like he owns it as do his followers.  What the eff' ever dude.  God knows your motives. 

The sound on my laptop has gone missing so i'm limited to the bad ass phone for entertainment.  It's probably something simple like a hidden mute button.  I brought home a ton of work to try and get organized and so far haven't touched it. Maybe the spirit will move soon on that one.  

And the heat wave continues, bless all our hearts.  It's dangerous not just for those who work in it but for people who have trouble breathing because *ozone* and heat dome are a wicked mix.  Not to mention corn sweat!

My neighbors are at the beach and I'm reliving my May vacay through their pictures.  These are the very same folks who feed me by four wheeler and help a girl out.  Mamye is one of those too.  It never ceases to amaze me that people are so good when all we hear about is the bad.  

God is good ~  All the time.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

fear and loathing

I'm not old enough to remember the McCarthy era but I imagine it was pretty similar to what's going on right now.  Politicians on a witch hunt are never what our forefathers envisioned for our country.  That being said let me be perfectly clear that the possibility of Trump as president scares the shit out of me.  So much progress has been made over the years in human rights and social change for us to just hand it over to conservatives.  Once you earn it, you have to fight hard to keep things in motion.  I'm not a fan of Hillary and would have absolutely cut off my right hand to see a Sanders/Warren ticket but that ain't gonna' happen so....there you go.  

The media is fanning the flames of racism and violence because lord knows everybody loves a good brawl.  When I was buying the washer dude had Memphis news on the desk and showed me this 95 year old lady hanging on to her purse for dear life while some thug drug her across the concrete.  Was he black?  Yes.  Do white guys do this?  YES.   African Americans have come a long way from the bondage that was their life back in the day.  I won't totally believe that the shootings are racially motivated because they shoot rednecks high on meth too.  It just doesn't make the news.  

Here's my short list on what needs to be dealt with outside of pork barrel deals:

Healthcare Reform.  The entire system is about to implode because of the insurance industry.  One single payer for everybody would eliminate the whole deal of referrals for $$ and prescriptions for kickbacks.  Remember Pharmabro???

Immigration. Simplify immigration laws where they can be more easily navigated and require them to be followed.  Leave the people alone who are already here if they try to become citizens and fail.  Most of them are working low paying jobs that Americans won't touch.  A wall on any border serves no purpose.  There are always tunnels.  

Foreign Policy.  Do what's necessary to stay in good graces with the Middle East and Asia and Russia so that nobody blows the whole world up in a fit of rage.  Target ISIS like a mofo and track 'em down like the dogs they are.  Always remember, the crew that pulled off 9/11 was in training for five years and nobody caught it on the intel radar.  

Peace.  Gender equality is a biggie for me.  I don't care if you're unicorns and OITNB gay.  The bathroom thing is ridiculous, so says the liberal redneck.  He was similarly outraged over our great state trying to make THE BIBLE our state book.  How's that for separation of church and state.  

SCOTUS.  Has been heavily stacked with conservatives for years.  Let's have a more middle of the road approach, umkay?  

Addiction.  Actually this is an offshoot of the healthcare piece but one that is a real danger at this point.  Instead of treating addiction as the disease it is, many unscrupulous doctors substitute a legal form of opiates in the form of suboxone and methadone.  There is no talk therapy or 12 steps of attempt to address the actual problem.  Just throw another pharmaceutical at it and go on down the road.  Easy access to heroin has become an epidemic and ironically it crosses all  social classes equally.  Shut down the pain clinics.  

Organic Farming.  I'm told that Monsanto money goes all the way back to the Rothchilds.  The waves of cancer that we see are largely due to pollution from petroleum products and unsafe farming practices with chemicals.  In the space of 50 years I've seen this farm go from my daddy on a tractor with no cab to lots of John Deere and spraying.  It is what it is but there are healthier ways to farm.  

I guess that's it for my platform rant.  My one outing for today was to the chicken store for a corn dog and I had a single dollar bill to spend at the produce guy's truck.  After asking him how much squash I could get for a buck, he gave me a sack of then and gave the dolla' to his kid.  That's what's up.


Friday, July 22, 2016


I was taken off guard the other day by a call from a number that was stored in my phone almost a year ago...Caris Healthcare.  They are the band of angels that saw us through not one but two deaths in the space of five months on the same unit at our hospital.  It was about this time in July when the downhill slide began.  Daddy wasn't doing so well at the home and his doctor had said to direct admit him if things weren't going well.  We had been to the surgeon's office on Thursday to check the wound and by Monday he was back at the sawmill.  Two surgeries later, he ended up in ICCU for a week rattling like the dead from all that anesthesia.  A good and kind team of people with whom I work advised me to take the next step.  His last words to me were "i want to die."  It was peaceful and quick. and my BFF @work was sitting at the desk when I got there. 

Mama sat in that empty log cabin for a few weeks until we got her moved to the home.  Our team of haulers did it all in one day with curtains included, thank you Mo.  They tried to make her get up at 7 which she hated but the caregivers were sweet except for the one bitch who decided to take a cellphone break in Casa Mom with Millette present.  She tripped and broke her wrist right around football time in Tennessee and sported a bright orange cast from Dr. Olson while she and Harry watched the games.  It was their last season.

The hip fracture happened on her last trip to church right before Christmas.  She was barely able to talk even with a walker but wanted to go to SS and the holiday service.  Lord...she was all about the season!  I was told that she went down slowly and EMS was called.  She was surrounded by her church family which is always a good thing.  The hip was pinned....more rehab.  I remember the follow up visit with Olson quite vividly because it was cold as hell and she was wrapped in blankets in a wheelchair. The x-ray showed total failure of the less invasive procedure so here we go with another direct admit.  In the cold windy day in the Camry with a wheelchair and my mother in terrible pain.

The surgery to do the hip replacement took about 5 hours and she weathered it well.  We had some good days together since I was right there at every available moment and getting hugs from all my besties on 2N.  Bubba made sure she had snacks and the cellphone.   The trouble started on a Sunday when she complained of severe abdominal pain.  A scan showed that she had a ruptured pocket in the colon which could only be repaired with more surgery if IV antibiotics didn't work.  The white count climbed in spite of high dose multi drug therapy.  Her doctor had a conversation with her and we all got on the same page.  Tommy rolled in shortly after that and stayed by her side most of the time.  LP was working at the home by then and on Mama's last day, there was a snow and ice event that had her stuck at work and me struggling to get there.  The snow fell softly outside her window and Lauren slept on the fold out thing for the day.  We each had our time with her.

In retrospect, I see that my Daddy was a very sick man for a long time and refused help because of the running Stafford fit thing.  I was called for emergencies when he fell on the gravel or did a hit and run or made Mama cry.  The go to girl, so to speak.  The one who had no other drama AT ALL.  It's on me that I took on more than a sane person would but that's just how I'm made.  I'm Janie.  I'm co-dependent.