Thursday, October 19, 2017

breathe in

Praise the lort and pass the gravy, the girls are back at Talbot where they belong.  It was so funny when I was there and all the kids wanted to come in and see "the baby."  They were wide eyed to say the least. Layla holds and feeds her.  All I know is that she's surrounded by people who care about the both of them and that gives me peace.  

I'm off tomorrow and it's supposed to be nice.  Then the rain sets in and there's frost coming next week.  Note to self:  check propane.  The plumbers came today and replaced all my faucets and fixtures plus fixed the commode.  Gotta' hit the general tomorrow for some ajax and whatnot.  Dinner tonight is those yummy expensive Walgreen appetizers again.  One stop's what's up.

Blessed ~

Wednesday, October 18, 2017


We have been in crisis mode so long that it didn't take much to put me to bed last night.  I woke up tired not ever suspecting the clusterf**k to come.  At some point as we were working away we noticed that orders and results were not going through the interfaces to the host.  Fine IT.  At that time of the morning it consists of somebody at the corporate level who trouble shoots a bit then passes it to the software vendor.  That is where I left it with two reference numbers before we began manually entering results.  Around midday I called good old Mike to come take a look see because a savvy lady at the vendor's call center suggested he check for new security.  As it turns out that was indeed the issue and he fixed it in less than five minutes.  It's one of the few times I remember our rag tag bunch breaking out in cheers and clapping!  And thank you Claudine for that valuable piece of info.  

Lauren will ( hopefully ) go home with Reaves this evening.  They are together at the hospital now and that makes me happy because that poor girl was heartbroken over missing that baby.  Lisa will give birth to Lyra tomorrow morning adding another baby to our grandma club.  It's been a busy one for sure.  Martha is next and then Janie and Nat have theirs in the winter.  

It's quiet here and I love it after the noise of the day.  All I hear is the birds singing and the cat purring.  If I shut my eyes I can imagine that little sucking noise Reaves makes when she's eating or working on the wubanub.  


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

4th time's charm

Little Miss Reaves will be 4 weeks old on Thursday.  The battles that her mama has fought this past month are enough to kill a grown man but she's been a real warrior woman.  The CT did, indeed, show a uterine perforation from the D and C so she was scheduled for an exploratory lap this morning.  I was at work and called to check on her pre-op and she was alone and a hot mess which in turn made me a hot mess.  All my work peeps told me to "GO NOW!" which I did and arrived about ten minutes after they took her to OR.  The lovely old hippie soul Kim and I watched hoarders, talked steps and napped during the coming hours.  

So, the perforation explains the infection.  The hole was beginning to scar over and was pushing against intestinal tissue thus the pain.  They poked and prodded, rinsed and patched and will hit her with another 24 hours of antibiotics.  She ain't a happy camper to say the least.  I wouldn't be either.  Today's heroine is Anna the 12 year old looking nurse who watched over us.  Kim and I thanked her a hundred times for being so precious.  Lord knows our little tribe needed some TLC.  

It's all been a blur of trips to Jackson and back with some work in between.  Thankfully I've slept in a bed a few nights in between couches and strengthened some friendships.  I've known the security of leaving the outcome to God by asking for prayer and feeling it.  Lauren happened to be one of the .5% who has had every imaginable complication of pregnancy except for diabetes and there was a scare there but they found her results.  

It's nobody's fault.  The process of induction is long and tedious and wears a woman's body out slowly so that by the time she delivers it's a relief.  C section recovery is normally 48 hours if all goes well.  That's when she got two units of blood and went home on iron only to return with toxemia a few days later.  A 24  hr mag drip on that visit.  Then came the D and C last Thursday and a septic visit to Ob triage on Saturday.  I am so sick of that hospital I could puke.  Yet I'm grateful for the care she's received.  She was just the one who got the big green weenie.

Peace ~

Monday, October 16, 2017

guilt trip

I am back in the 'burg but Lauren is still in the hospital with Lord knows what.  There was a repeat CT today which, if normal, could be followed by an exploratory lap to try and find the source of the infection.  She's getting a double dose of antibiotics every 6 hours but her last white count was still 16,000.  She is almost one month post partum and has been re-admitted for D and C and now this.  As expected she's tired of the hospital and missing home and Reaves.  Erica is bringing her up for a visit this afternoon.  Hurry up and wait.  That's the name of the game in a hospital.  

She was upset when I left today and I understand that.  It took everything I had to walk out of there and leave her in God's hands via Dr Atkinson and a lovely nurse named Marietta.  It's bad enough to be all post C-section and hormonal but to not have your baby around is torture I imagine.  Those two are joined at the hip.  When I left we put my name and number plus a note saying "call anytime" on the white board.  Those things are quite handy.  I asked if she had seen this scenario before and she replied "once."  It was an abcess.

This too shall pass as my Daddy would say.  To Lauren and Reaves and all their tribe, I give you my undying love for growing our family.  That is what builds faith.  

My morning hospital TV viewing included a piece about a non profit organization that pays addicted mothers 300 bucks to get their tubes tied when there have been multiple pregnancies.  The founder took in at least 5 of an addicted mother's kids as fosters until she figured out that there might be an answer.  The doctors on the show tried to eat her alive for not putting the money toward other types of birth control that require compliance from somebody who's high.  Talking about the woman's "rights" and shit.  Those unborn babies have the right not to be born addicted and trembling.  It happens all.the.time.  

Last time I checked the news Trump was still POTUS and California was on fire.  I guess I better catch up.


Sunday, October 15, 2017

touch and go

Something tugged at me when I left Lauren on Friday afternoon.  I was sick and tired of that hospital just like her and ready to come home, Reaves notwithstanding.  "I'm just glad it's over" she said following the uneventful D and C.  I called on Saturday morning and found that she was in OB triage at the ER because of fever and chills.  Oh we go again.  I threw together some stuff and headed back that way and by the time I got there she was admitted.  She had a low grade fever of around 100 and was shaking like a leaf.  I watched as they hung three antibiotics and headed to the apartment to care for Reaves overnight.  Sometime in the middle of the night, her temp went WAY up and they called the doctor in who wasn't even on call but is part of her group.  He ordered blood cultures and examined her thoroughly trying to find the source of the right upper quandrant pain.  She got massive doses of pain meds then passed out and woke up in a drenched bed with the fever broken.  I knew none of this until we talked this morning.  It's good that I didn't because I'd have been torn between which girl to stay with!

Reaves and I got along fabulously.  She's a great baby who doesn't fuss much except for a valid reason.  Her new pacifier has a little animal on the end of it to help her hold on which is awesome.  Wub a Nub maybe?  I'm out of the loop.  Anyway, she loves it.  Because she was born only one day before Lauren's birthday it was kind of like a flashback for me to 33 years ago.  She wakes up every 3 to 4 hours to eat and get changed and usually goes right back to sleep in that sweet little electric cradle.  WITH the wubanub.  Lots of kids were curious to see "the baby" and they would tiptoe in and gawk at her.  Mike was in and out.  Soberstock was going on next door and the music was loud and parking scarce.  

Once again, I am sleep deprived after a three week recovery from four days of it.  I admire my daughter for being such a good little mother and all that it entails in spite of all of her own physical ailments.  It's bound to be a test.  And she would tell you that baby girl is worth every bit of it.  

To all of you who have prayed and sent good vibes, thank you.  To my co-workers who are some of those very ones, bless you for understanding my dilemma and allowing me the time to spend with our new family during this rough patch.  Like the doctor told us during day 1 of induction: " This will be a marathon, not a sprint."  Right on Dr. West.

Lauren was still wearing the raggedy Bill Murray tshirt she went in wearing so I went by the gift shop and got her a new cute one.  Play it as you see step at a time.

Gratitude ~

Saturday, October 14, 2017

when you know too much

Right now I'm listening to the sound of Reaves' electric cradle and worried sick about her mama.  Infections do not play when there have been multiple surgeries involved.  I noticed ampicillin hanging when I left there which is useless against MRSA many times.  The fact that is is three weeks and a few days after delivery makes it quite worrisome.  The tribe is keeping an eye on her. My job is to be grandma for a night with no supervision.  

I go back to the sawmill on Monday facing a new reality, one which involves 12 hour shifts.  It's been a looooong time since I've done that and I'm not too thrilled about the prospect at the age of 62.  Early retirement is looking better all the time.  For the first 15 years of my career we worked all three shifts, often on call for 24 hours at a time.  I was in my twenties then.  It was a different time but I did the odd shifts even after Lauren was born in 1984.  

I'm at a crossroads and I will prayerfully do what's right for me and my family.  There is no reward for work ethic in today's corporate world.  My brother messaged me that Kroger is selling off their convenience stores to concentrate on the grocery business.  The one in D'burg just spent millions on a remodel with the same space when they could have built a brand new store.  Go figure.

Sorry to be a downer but sometimes you just can't suck it up and smile.  Today is one of those for me.  I ran into a friend at the food court today whose 87 year old mother had a stroke last night and ended up in the same hospital as Lauren.  Y'all pray for her too.


Friday, October 13, 2017

my father's eyes

Oh boy.  If I ever have to spend a month in and out of Jackson General again at least I'll know my way around.  Lauren's procedure was the last on the doctor's list, the one we like so well.  Therefore, it was way past dark thirty when we finally left the building.  There were scripts to be filled and we missed the Kroger cutoff time so here we go to the 24/7 Walgreens on a mission for food and medicine.  A note to you shoppers: Dinner for two can be bought there easily for fifteen bucks worth of appetizers.  By the time we got to the house Lauren was missing that baby so her daddy brought her home all swaddled in a blanket.  He was tired and so were we.  Long day for everybody.  We stayed up 'til midnight piddling and slept until Lauren got in severe enough gastric pain that I had to make ANOTHER run to Walgreens for gas relief.  Reaves ate and slept and played a bit...gazing in wonder at whatever it is she can see at this point.  

I heard Lauren say from outside in the sun "Mom...Cardinal" but she was on the phone so I wasn't sure if she was talking to me.  When I went to the door she told me there had been one on the bush beside her.  " Grandaddy" I said.  "She looks like you Mom"  I replied that I look like my mother so there you go.  She looks like little Janice Ann Reaves.  And acts like Billy Stafford when she's mad.  Lauren is such a good mother. Her first outing will be to Soberstock tomorrow.  A debut, if you will into that community.  

I headed home after that and had a safe trip.  These days I don't take that for granted anymore.  High five to Madison county on.the repaving.  Your city deserved better.  My tour of the blood bank at the hospital yesterday was fascinating.  They do ten times the volume of transfusion medicine that we do but have a staff dedicated to just that as a major medical center.  Trauma isn't there forte as they are usually an in between point with Air Evac shuttling to and fro.  That's why we have a helicopter parked out back.  Google EMTALA.

The critters were happy to see me roll into the driveway and I'm glad to be in one spot for a minute.  I have cleaning to do before next weekend's Dyersburg visit by the girls.  Like....a lot.  

Teach your children well ~