Saturday, March 16, 2024

*short*

I drove my trusty ole' Camry for 20 years and they were not kind ones, especially during local flooding.  And we had a lot.  WE got a 2015 Ford Escape from Gene Langley three years ago that is paid for.  Insurance went up but that's to be expected.  About a third of those drivers out there don't have it.  That's when they run.  Unfortunately BG got slammed in Jackson several weeks ago and I'm telling you, that car is a hot mess.  TT is taking care of her.

For the first time in my life I had a screen that got synced to my phone at Gene Langley.  But now that screen is black and I miss it.  I visited my local home owned auto mechanic this week and will be back next week with questions about fuses and hard re-sets.  If he can fix this I'll buy him and wifey a steak dinner when I get paid.

I have little to no faith in big branding right now.  And what's all with this AI stuff?  I mean even the British are dealing with it and the tech involved with the results of our election process is sketchy.  Deepfake, so to speak.  If I don't see it in person or know enough to see both sides of an issue,  I remain neutral until my vote doesn't count.  I'm still praying for some insane young Independent to step up and represent in spite of party hate.  

I hear shooting.  Somebody is happy it's spring ^j^ 

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

"don't waste a good crisis"

Those words are not mine but those of the late Rev John Kilzer who died by suicide five years ago today.  He had struggled with addiction all of his life which included being an All American basketball star in Jackson who continued on a scholarship at Memphis State to become an English professor.  Being Memphian and a deep thinker, he began to write songs and do local gigs before signing with Geffen records in the late 70s.  Red Blue Jeans was my favorite.  I had the original vinyl and gave it to a high school classmate of his.  

Brother John created a ministry at St John's UMC in Memphis that served a large group of recovering addicts.  His wit and charm and music gave people hope and a reason to come back and start over.  He was a key player in starting a class at Memphis Theological Seminary for pastors who really didn't know how to help with substance abuse issues within a congregation.  After that, he began recording again with Archer which is where we became reconnected through my Friendship friends Cathy and her mother Ruth.  Sleepin' in the Rain still chills me to the bone.  "God loves them more than you'll ever know."  He relapsed and took his own life in rehab,  On March 12th during Lent.  

It's odd how we can all make a difference in someone's life just by being present and listening without judgement.  All these people who want to regulate morality and are dead set on exclusion are a big part of the problems in our world.  I believe in being honest and doing the next right thing.  Period.

My friends at the army picked me out the perfect lamp to go beside my bed, for five doll'a only.  It's the little things that count.  I so admire what they do every.single.day feeding the poor.  I'm not poor but if they have plates ready I will eat.  Fantastic cooks and "feed the hungry" folks.

Other than that, I got nothing but faith ^j^


Friday, March 8, 2024

hind sight is 20/20

I have received a diagnosis of dry macular degeneration meaning that I will more than likely lose my central vision at some point.  It is an inherited condition and it was passed onto me from my mother who was legally blind by her late 70s.  While I have always known that it was a possibility for me it was still something that shook my faith.  This diagnosis has made me most appreciative of all the beauty of spring knowing that someday I won't be able to enjoy the colors like I always have.  Sunrise and sunset.  Butterflies.  Beautiful cloud formations.  Faces of the people I love.  

I am dog sitting for my old pal Pearl.  Even though she hasn't seen me in a year, things have gone really well.  Except for the cat!  Pearl chased Rosie, Rosie hissed and hid and is keeping her distance.  It's only for three days so she will survive.  There will eventually be another dog here so the feline might as well get used to it.  Pearl hasn't much been around cats so I can understand. Rosie and Oscar had a mutual understanding.  I picked up Oscar's pawprint from the vet's office this week and it is on my desk where we spent lots of time with her sitting by my feet.  

It is National Women's Day and I couldn't be prouder to know so many strong women who are making changes in the world, one life at a time.  I have learned from being long time single that there are times when you really need a man to help with things.  I took that for granted when I was married.  

My new meds include AREDs for the rest of my life and Questran powder on a week long trial of samples.  The closest ostomy nurse to me is in Jackson and Poopie is a hot mess so I hope to get things evened out soon.  The only GI guy in town won't mess with them except to do a colonoscopy which, from a biopsy, showed lymphocytic granuloma.

Reaves went to her second daddy daughter dance last night and looked stunning, even more so with a gap toothed smile.  Lord, I love that kid and her spirit.  I hate that we are leaving her with the world in turmoil like it is but it is what it is.  Good parents will guide their kids through the ups and downs of life and teach them to study hard and express their emotions in a healthy way.  I tried my best with Lauren and she has only good memories.  

Speaking of LP, she now has two kidney stones left to pass and they're giving her hell.  The first two went through into the strainer but those other two are stubborn.  

Y'all be well, and keep the faith ^j^



Friday, March 1, 2024

a corporate healthcare tale

I worked as a medical technologist for 41 years.  My hire date with Parkview Hospital was August 7, 1977, three months after graduation from UTCHS in Memphis.  We were a family so to speak.  Lab people took call after 3PM and on weekends because, well.  There was no instant anything.  We did EKG and blood gases as well which was shortly turned over to the respiratory therapy department.  Our automated chemistry analyzer ran once a day and the rest was tube boiling and spectrophotometer plus some manual math. Gawd, it was rough but it was kinda' sorta' normal for a rural hospital in the late seventies.  

In the early 80s Methodist Health Systems and Baptist were in a pissing match to buy up the feeders all along Highway 51.  Methodist paid 10M over market price and the county government took the highest offer.  MHS also bought six other rural West TN facilities at the same time.  The majority of employees and physicians supported a Baptist sale but we were not heard, even after we all showed up at the courthouse for the hearing.  Money talks.  Supposedly the proceeds from the sale were put in reserve for indigent care.  I am currently searching to see what happened to that money.

Eventually the "vision" of MHS changed from rural healthcare to a partnership with UT Memphis for transplant services.  That was when they sold ALL of us to Community Health Systems.  CHS was on a roll then buying up little places and they were doing well until a big merger with HMA.  Stock dropped from sixty bucks to the current 2 and some change.  The merger involved a lot of money posted by a hedge fund.  Right after I retired the facility and all practices were bought by West Tennessee Healthcare.  A feeder for Jackson, so to speak.

Union City is still a Baptist facility, the only surviving one outside of the Memphis metro area.  It is about the same distance as driving to Jackson for what that's worth.  As for me, I just want to be treated well by people who care.  My PCP is amazing and very overworked.  Says he can't afford to retire.  I know the feeling buddy.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it ^j^

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

the morning after

Following yesterday morning's "wake up and fall" I headed into PT to concentrate on the left side of my body which is where I hit on elbow and knee before rolling over and popping my hard head on the bedframe.  My head now has a knot on it and is sore but I'm pretty good with pain.  Felicia gave me some TLC on the left side that included pulsing electrodes and moist heat at the same time.  Most of their attention has been on my right side because that is what first brought me there.  I feel pretty sure that was the result of being hit by an 18 wheeler several months ago.  But enough about that.

Now Texas is on fire and I'm sure the Republicans are blaming Biden and the immigrants.  In my honest opinion it is just another tragedy caused by global warming.  Yes, it is real.  And yes, we are in big trouble because nobody listened when there was a chance to turn it around.  Al Gore's book "An Inconvenient Truth" was written many years ago and still applies to what we are seeing.  Floods, fires, natural disasters of all kinds.  God gave us this earth to preserve and enjoy and we have almost literally destroyed it.  How sad.

Now onto the guns.  Y'all know how I feel about all that.  I believe in the right to carry for self protection which does NOT include long guns like the one used at Joel O'Steen's church which was purchased legally. In Texas, of course.  Why?  I keep asking myself over and over again why these guns are available.  There is no use for them except for law enforcement or military action.  NONE.  Except for committing mass murder.  Put yourself in the shoes of parents whose kids have been slaughtered at school or other public places.  We assume them to be safe yet here comes another nutcase hearing voices aiming a repeating weapon at innocent people.  Enough is enough.  We don't want to take your guns away, just hold you accountable by doing background checks, requiring proper training, and licensing.  That ain't much to ask.

I miss my kids badly.  There is a part of me that wants to move to Jackson just so I can see them on a regular basis.  I love country life as well.  Lizzie will be graduating from kindergarten this spring and going into "real school."  She is smart as a whip and very artistic.  Loves to dance and jump and run.  Confused as hell about her family situation.  

We had some fierce scary wind these past few days and a huge thunderstorm during the night which woke me up.  They never scare me for some reason.  Actually I see God in things like that and am in awe of how powerful the weather can be.  Following a high of almost 80 yesterday it's in the 40s again.  Typical West Tennessee.  

Y'all be humble and grateful and remember from whence you came ^j^

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

before the fall

There was no pride.  I was just out of sleep and walked to the bathroom.  On the way back i fell on my LEFT side which will give Krystle or somebody a project in the morning when I show up.  I don't know where it hurts yet, ya' know?  Reba gave me a big ass bandage to put on my elbow and the leg is good.  Just a lil
 skin scrape with no blood.  I got lucky, again. I have always been clumsy like "walk into a doorframe" clumsy.  I seriously need a keeper at this point.  I am keepin' on right now because that is all I know to do.  help.pray.hug.love ^j^


Sunday, February 25, 2024

walking on water

Today's sermon was about Peter attempting to walk on water after Jesus said "come here" to him .  He asked him to trust in the one who had performed countless miracles in front of him so Peter stepped out of boat but got scared and doubtful.  That is what made him start to sink.  Poor guy still didn't believe in spite of all he had seen.  I can identify with that ya' know?  I myself am a living breathing miracle after several near death experiences yet I still doubt at times.  One of my favorite quotes lately is "Fear is what if.  Faith is even if."  One of my friends asked me recently why good people suffer and I had no answer for that.  Those of us who try and give and help the least of these often suffer devastating life events.  I don't think that freedom from problems is something that you earn from being good.  Tragedy does not make judgement on character.  It just is what it is.  

One of the most chilling stories that I have read lately was about a little girl who trusted a family friend to take her to the bus stop.  He murdered this child by blunt force trauma and threw her body in the river weighted down with a rock and rope.  This child trusted the guy.  He was part of her daily life and lived on the family property.  He had taken her to the bus stop many times before.  What went wrong?  Only God knows where evil lies.  

Anywho...it's warming up here but still windy as heck.  I am hopeful that the propane I have left will last me until it's full on  warm weather.  That is my rambling for today.  God bless you and your mama'n'them ^j^