Tuesday, July 25, 2017

the corporate way

I will spare the details except to say that we have been left in purgatory between a director who knew it all to one who is on a learning curve.  As you can expect, there is a lot of confusion and we're all trying our best to figure things out as we go along.  It took two of us watching a video to change a piercer on an analyzer today but we got it done and now we know.  Other things have been a lot more hard to come by like support for the LIS.  My one go-to person is at our sister hospital in Jackson and she's been off for a couple of days so it's like banging your head on the wall to figure out what to do next.  I finally gave up on the test building and went to the vet's office.

Bubba called yesterday, knowing what a dog lover that I am, with a tip on a full blooded red and white border collie. I touched base with the vet's staff and they took my name and number.   I'm not really ready to handle another dog at this point but I would sure like to help place this one.  He's beautiful from the phone pic that I saw.  

More heat....and humidity.  I woke up this morning with a scratched arm thanks to Oscar's middle of the night freakout.  I've got it sterilized and wrapped because dude has sharp little claws and I have thin skin.  My t'shirt looked a bloody mess.  That's okay because I got a brand new demolibtard one in the mail today that I will wear with pride.  

I don't know if it's the heat or what, but my give a damn's busted.  I'm hoping lots of others will keep the faith for me while I regroup.  


Monday, July 24, 2017

the art of cat throwing

Here's the drill around here when Lily the bitch cat wants attention.  She cries and prowls.  I put food in her plate and she eats two bites.  One of the dogs eats the rest.  Even though she just ate she cries again because the bowl is empty.  When I don't do a quick refill she climbs on he back of the computer chair and claws the hell out of it.  After that she proceeds to knock stuff off the table to get my attention.  Rinse lather and repeat until I get tired of it.  That's when I risk life and limb, pick her up and throw her off the porch to land squarely on her feet as they tend to do.  This is a tedious exercise in futility which is only compounded by two dogs wanting in and out scratching on the doors.  I don't pitch them though.  Oscar would bite!

It was a Monday all.day.long.  Work is still a transition in progress which can be trying at times but then it usually is anyway, transition or not.  I just do the best I can while I'm there and go home and forget it.  That's the luxury of being a peon.  

My friend Sondra is gonna' be grandma any day now and Mitzi Lou brought some of her handmade with love creations for the baby boy.  I'm sure Reaves will get some too because Mitzi and Abby are all about the creating.  The shower invitation asks that everybody bring a book instead of a card.  What a cool idea!  Plus there's the headband making station.  I saw Mama Brock in Kroger yesterday and I'm sure she'll be there too.  One for all and all for Reaves and Lauren!  Since Heather is the hostess there will be no stupid games, thankyouverymuch.

I see hope and promise with this new life on the way.  It's an addition to the next generation of the Stafford family started by  my brother at the ripe old age of forty something.  We're looking toward making a nest here for the tribe.  That thrills me to death because I was afraid I was gonna' miss it.  

I have an appointment with the dentist on Friday and my loose crown didn't make it, coming off as I chomped on Cheetos the other day.  It left a sharp edge that's poking a hole in my cheek daily.  What I need is some of that wax you put on braces.  

Stay cool kids.  It's "only" 92 today and we got some rain yesterday evening.  Even though we haven't officially hit 100 it has felt like that for about two weeks now.  I think I got dehydrated because I had some killer leg cramps two nights in a row.  Those muscles are STILL sore.  

Lord how I miss the days when the children of the POTUS were growing up and learning history while living in the White House.  All the rats are jumping ship and I would be too.  This won't end well for anybody but I'll keep on dreaming of a better day where peace and love and rock'n'roll are front and center.


Saturday, July 22, 2017

the two year mark

Ginner passed away in January of 2015 long after her husband and two daughters. Next was Aunt Nancy in June who had been suffering with Alzheimer disease for years. Pnoler was found dead on father's day eve. We sat together at Curry's as a family honoring his life.  It was at Nancy's visitation that I ran over Daddy's foot with the Camry.  Dewey and Kay will never let me live that down.  Nick sang and it was a nice service with our little rag tag family hovering together.  I knew Daddy was sick at this point of the year but just not how badly.  He was admitted at the end of June with an acute hernia that ended up showing that he was eat up with infection from an earlier repair.  He died on August 4th under hospice care via Caris.  I will never forget my doc friends telling me to let him go after that long surgery that made him where he couldn't breathe.  It went on for a week in ICCU.

Pretty soon after that we moved Mom to Maple Ridge for assisted living.  She went in September, probably around Labor Day and we got her set up in one day.  We were in and out during UT football season Halloween and Thanksgiving.  Her hip snapped at the church right before Christmas and that was the beginning of the end.  She had the least invasive type of surgery on her osteoporitic hip and it was an epic fail.  Next was partial hip replacement.  Amazingly all went well with that until she developed a ruptured diverticulum that poisoned her body.  Back to Caris in January.  Without the usual COPD/CHF meds she lasted two days.  Tommy was with her when she passed.  "Don't let me hurt and don't leave me" she said.  

It was a lot to process at that time especially because I was being thrown under the bus at work.  I'm not sure why except for I was an easy target and didn't speak up.  Well, I did but the powers that be didn't listen.  During this entire time my co-workers did their best to respect my parents and honor them with their service.  Shit happens and people die. Compassionate care is what's up if you want to be real.  

cabin fever

We are currently experiencing days on end of 100 degree plus heat indexes which makes me want to hibernate just like in the dead of winter.  I am NOT a summer person any longer since global warming kicked in.  My brief outing this morning to the 'gentral and gas station were all it took to kick my ass and send me back inside to chill.  

I don't know about ya'll but I'm glad to see Spicey go even though whats'her'name is annoying too.  What really scares me is the new guy from Goldman Sachs.  WTF?  So our country is a business to be run by those who make huge campaign contributions to the orange one?  I'll refrain from a rant because it just sucks the life out of my soul.  This house of cards is about to fall and we will all suffer, including the ones of us who knew better than to vote for the idiot.  Of course it didn't help that Russia was all up in it.  

And so, I digress.  My photographer friend and I are trying to find a cool enough time to visit the magical sunflower field so he can do his thing and I can just get off on the colors.  He has a truck which is good because I don't think the Camry would survive that trip again.  

Chester's suicide moved me on many levels.  Our mental health system is so fractured as is healthcare in general that people who need and want help are many times at the mercy of a system that's based on....you guessed it.  Money.  If therapy were free, think about how many people would benefit.  It should be a piece of an affordable preventive health offering in whatever system we end up with along with cancer and diabetes screening.  There is no free wellness benefit at all with my insuror.  40 buck co-pay for anything and everything.  That doesn't sound like much but it adds up when you are a frequent flyer as we boomers are becoming.  

Today I am grateful for friends and family, a steady job and an air conditioned home.  I may not always agree with the friends family and job but I try to do the next right thing.  That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.  

Chill ~

Friday, July 21, 2017

dream a little dream

I have two recurring dreams that have gone away over the years.  One was of me taking a bath in a porcelain tub while the cabin burned.  The other I had forgotten about until yesterday's visit to the Lee place and the sunflower field.  Bubba told me they were in full bloom and facing east so I struck out in the Camry over about a mile of bumpy field road to see the sights.  Wade was busy planting and spraying ( still ) and I think I ran over his hose on the way out.  

I spotted the gold after awhile and pulled up to have a moment.  When I looked to the right, there was the Forked Deer levee and a memory of an old house and barn that used to sit back there. Dream #2 centered around that four story house which may or may not have existed.  There were doors up from each level and treasures like fine china on each and every stop.  Up top there was a roof where one could take in the river and the farming operations.  This place sat about one mile from Cotton's bar.  I guess it could have been a whorehouse or maybe just a hotel where river travelers stayed on the way from there to here and back.  My husband's grandfather was killed at Cotton's with a gunshot.  Daddy showed me the certificate many years ago after my marriage to James.

The loose crown just came off which will makes things easier for Dr. Young Jr. when I seek dental assistance next week.  I'm thinking dentures.  That will be the day after ultrasound/job interview/therapy session in Jackson.  It seriously takes a village. I got my not to worry stone back today and it's in my pocket so all is well.   

Anybody with a truck is welcome to help me transport baby hardware from here to there.  I'll pay for gas and lunch and all.  Holla.


Thursday, July 20, 2017


There's a whole bunch of folks that read my blog and I talked to one this morning at the sawmill that I never would have suspected until she told me how she enjoys it.  As she put it, I say a lot of the same things that she thinks about and it's a joy to read the words.  That was totally humbling.  

When I stopped by the chicken store Ashley made the statement that she felt "left behind" after the rapture because of the heat.  Days on end of 110 heat index is miserable at the very least and dangerous at its' worst.  Dehydration is common even in those who don't work outside.  My shoulder has been pain free since the steroid injection.  It's nice not to have that dull pain all the time and I will follow up with therapy by Gay.  

Last night's dinner was home grown yellow squash cooked in olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  Yum!  Added a little rice to it and it was just the ticket for a hot day.  I have a non-worry stone that was given to me by Laura recently and I've carried it in my pocket off and on for days on end.  Yesterday a friend came to me deeply distressed about every little thing and when he left I passed it on to him to keep temporarily until the storm passed. He just told me it's still in his pocket.  The cross is a powerful gift.

And so...life goes on ^j^

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

loss after loss

Since I was in court all day yesterday I missed what was going on in real life.  I was shocked and saddened when I picked up yesterday's paper at work and read the obituary of my dear friend Louise.  She and Steve have been my buddies for years and years and we have daughters that played roudball together back in the day.  Joli stuck with it....Lauren could have cared less.  We were in the same SS class for years at FUMC and generally had a great friendship visiting each other on occasion for this or that.   Her daughter was killed when she was a young LPN by a drunk driver.  The kids have been with she and Steve off and on since then.  I will go to my grave remembering me, Daddy and Lauren going to Laura's funeral on Christmas Eve and it all seeming so unreal.  They established a nursing scholarship in her memory and ministered to the driver in prison after finding forgiveness because that's what Jesus would do.  Fine Christian people.  

I was running here there and yon at work today putting out fires and started hearing about a massive wreck on the interstate near the Lenox exit.  Another nice guy whom I knew through our "kids" was killed instantly as he drove a tractor mowing the sides of the roadway.  An 18 wheeler hit him and that driver is in critical condition.  

What is so odd about all of this is that it's a part of my day to day life just as it is for all other healthcare practitioners and emergency responders.  Most people never know that feeling or what it does to a soul.  Lauren was visiting a social work client a few years ago and ran upon a wreck where a young woman was thrown from her vehicle, surrounded by pictures of family and friends.  She was engaged and her wedding dress had been laid out on the bed in preparation.  Lauren stayed with her until EMS arrived and she barely had a pulse, but she wasn't alone.  That's when God sends us angels.  

Never get so busy that you take life for granted.  It's something that I have to practice day after day and sometimes minute by minute.  All is well with my soul and that's a peaceful feeling.  I try to keep it that way.  

Grief ~