Tuesday, April 30, 2019


I had an appointment for a haircut this morning at 10 with marvelous Marla.  I haven't slept the night through for at least a week because of the gut pain.  Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 1130!  Oh my, did my body need that.  Marla understood and said come on in at 2.  Cool.  In the meantime I got an SOS call from a friend who was sick and needed to go home from his sitting job.  I told him I'd be there after the haircut.  I spent a  nice couple of hours on the deck overlooking Lakewood with one of my favorite ladies and the two dogs.  We listened and bird watched and enjoyed the breeze.  It didn't feel like 85 at all.  I heard doors slam and the puppy ears perked up.   Of course, it was their Mama Gay home from a trip.  I thought Huck was going to eat.her.up he was so happy.

I have explored and advised on all things gut health which includes probiotics, oregano oil, bone broth and coconut oil.  It's one of those things you don't consider until your ass gets in a crack, so to speak.  Emotional stress contributes to the problem and I really didn't realize how much I was stifling it.  It's important not to be in a toxic environment and sometimes you don't even realize you're there.  

I have been on some hills and valleys this past year that have convinced me that there's a reason for everything.  I don't push the envelope like I used to....trying to make things happen.  I just show up with a grateful attitude and wait for what's next.  

Namaste ~

Monday, April 29, 2019

strange dilemma

If you're like me and you go to the grocery story on an empty stomach you buy everything in sight.  I'm still recovering from that nasty bout of diverticulitis and all I could do was look for things that were bland and that I thought I could choke down.   You gotta eat.  While there I saw several friends including nurse Kathy and Dr JR.  He asked me to run up there and get a chem panel on 3N!  I told him if I wasn't retired I sure would.  He is such a kind and generous man that the one time he yelled at me I cried and thought I was not worthy.  He was just frustrated, like the rest of us.  I am so glad to not be up in all that drama.

That's about all I will accomplish today and it wore me out.  The steps to my house are enough to kill a horse and hauling most anything up them is marginally risky at best.  The older I get the more this will become a factor.  Thank goodness I have rails in front and back.  My iris and clematis are beginning to bloom but not quite on the peonies. They're my favorite.  

I'm having Reaves withdrawals like, bad.  Now that she's in daycare it's a whole lot more complicated.  Her mama, daddy and bonus mom keep me supplied with pictures.  I know my parents are getting a heavenly kick out of this and glowing with pride over their oldest granddaughter.  Lauren was an only child AND the only grandchild until she was in her twenties.  Talk about spoiled rotten.

As soon as it is available I will be sharing the flyer from my friend Julie's show.  She is the one who did Reaves' portrait.  Please follow her work and give support.  She is extremely talented and could use a break like all the rest of us.

Y'all play nice.  And if you can't SAY something nice, keep your trap shut.


Sunday, April 28, 2019

almost back from the dead

Whatever this evil thing is that has had me since 
Wednesday hasn't killed me but it didn't make me much stronger.  I  haven't been that sick and in that much pain in a very long time.  I have no idea what started it only that it was preceded by chills, low grade fever and unbearable abdominal pain.  For three nights I was up and down and up and down again trying to get some relief.  I fully intended to go to my friend Gary's show yesterday evening and when I got home from work I laid down for a couple of hours to see if it would pass.  Umm. No.  I got up, took a shower and was back in bed by six.  He'll never believe me in a thousand years because I bricked last time.  Oh well..we do what we can do.

Sounds like Baby Sussex is close to being here as the world  (besides me) anxiously,  I'm sure NBC Today will be all over it. I'm very proud of a Dyersburg local reporter for publishing a quite factual piece about the passage funding private schools, most of which are faith based.  The money for these vouchers comes from the money allocated to public school systems.  We have one private school locally and there are others scattered around in Jackson and whatnot.  

Here's the thing.  They are almost always formed by churches, which are tax exempt under US law.  Once again, separation of church and state.  I say if you want your kid to go to xyz charter school, you cough it up.  I have seen this happen with several friends in the middle income bracket.  Imagine if there were some things known as Muslim schools or something, you think DeVos would give them a voucher.  I think not.

I'm really pissed about this one because of the last minute delay and meddling that led to the outcome we have.  I mean, do these people think we're not watching?  It's good old boy politics as usual and we can't change it until we call somebody out.  Rachel did just that.  High five to some serious talent.


Friday, April 26, 2019


I know you're all just dying to know about my stomach ache so I'll make it brief.  For several weeks now I've had trouble with quite painful constipation, gas and other symptoms.  I went to the health food store and got a probiotic.  All was well for about a week and then it kicked in again yesterday.  So obviously my gut is confused.  I did some research on prebiotics and decided to try some drinkable fiber first.  We shall see if it all works out.  I can take a lot of pain but I put this right up there with labor. I was diagnosed years ago with IBS and actually took Librax for it back in the day before that became a nono. Now.  Wasn't that delightful?  You all know about Poopie's poo.  Sorry but that's about all that's been on my mind.  

We walked again today and it was still a challenge but we soldiered on.  Each day I go a bit further down the hill to get that cardio from walking back up.  I noticed today that the road department has been out here patching holes.  I hear the plan is for a complete re-do this year.  It's  pretty rough, if you know what I mean.

News?  I don't have a clue.  The only things I've noticed were the huge pileup on the interstate and the execution of the white nationalist who drug a black man behind his truck for 3 miles.  This poor guy was alive the first two miles.  I have changed my stance on the death penalty in cases like these.  There is no room for hate crimes.  And still it took 10 years for it to be resolved. That is not a deterrent.  Sometimes the court system is just a little too big.  

I've been on a mission to get all things health taken care of so I know have appointments for mammo and annual gyno exam.  
Plus I got my driving glasses.  Day by day I feel my age a little bit more.  There are the usual aches and pains but the get up and go just isn't always there like it used to be.  Exercise should help.  I'm joining my friends Carol and Debbie to check out a class at the Y next week.  Plus get a haircut.  It's me time y'all.

Enjoy your day.  It's pretty ^j^

Thursday, April 25, 2019

here and there

I haven't seen my friend Gigi in months so I wandered on over there to visit with she and Bella.  She is also retired as of just recently so we're both in the same boat.  We caught up on everything and everybody.  Compared to our younger days we are considered quite tame. In bed by 10 with our respective fur babies.  

I went by to see my buddy Travis to tie up some loose ends on my tax return and while I was at the monument company I got a quick quote on a tiny stone which is all I want.  Hopefully I'll get that paid for before I croak so that there's one less detail hanging.  You gotta have stone even if you're cremated.  Mine and my brother's will be side by side in the old Carter family cemetery down the road.  It's a beautiful place for memories.

More of the same with the news.  Blah.Blah.Blah.  If nothing EVER surprised me anymore, I would have been pretty shocked about the anti trans bill guy who got caught with his pants down with a minor in a hotel.  But like I said, nothing shocks me,

That bitch in Washington is receiving decks of cards delivered by UPS in a big way and I have a feeling it ain't over.  I just hopes she donates them to people who will use them,

I was driving south on the By-Pass and ran into a large convoy of troopers.  At closer glance, they were escorting somebody hauling a freakin' HOUSEBOAT.  That's not something you see every day.  Trailers, yes.  All the time.  

Keep it between the ditches kids.  Love ya.  Mean it.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

shake rattle and roll

The dogs were up and at it before daylight this morning which is unusual.  I reckon it could have been that 3.6 earthquake that hit right before six.  I didn't feel it at all so I was clueless until I saw trucks from two Memphis news stations in town. When I asked girl at the chicken store what was up she described the shake rattle and roll they experienced at work. It was felt far and wide and the epicenter was around the Obion River bridge north of town.   I hope they check that thing out for damage. 

I am notorious for setting fires.  Once I was burning off the asparagus and it spread out into the bean stubble spreading quickly.  No harm there.  My friend and I managed to contain it with brooms and rakes and there was no crop loss.  However, my stupid self did light one during a burn ban and it got away from me in a HURRY spreading into the bean field.  The fire departments came....a lot of them.  It was on the front page of the paper.  I was made the poster child for that sort of thing so I'm extra careful  now.  

Yesterday I noticed that some jerk had dropped off a big furniture box with all the packing right on the side of the road.  I talked to my brother and he said to just burn it if there wasn't an address on it to follow up with the law.  No address so I fired it up.  It was almost through burning when a piece of something blew over into the corn stubble and started it up.  OH LORD.  Not again.  My first thought was "but he told me to do it!"  I came home and got a rake and crawled up and down the ditch several times stomping and flailing with the rake.  It got down on the ditch bank but was stopped when it hit water.  I watched it for awhile and all was well in the end.  It had been dropped between two young pecan trees and I dragged it out into the road so as not to burn those.  And dude left a calling card.  An empty bud light can shining brightly in the sun.  Some people. I prayed every time I crawled that ditch for no snakes.  

The dogs and I went for a walk this morning and I realized  how out of shape I've gotten.  That's a priority to continue until it hits 100. Then, i give.  

Keep smiling.  Keep shining ^j^

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

the ancestors

I was in the vicinity of the cemetery this morning and I haven't visited the grands in a while so I turned in and cruised through all those little tiny roads.  I got lost and ended up on the corner where all of my mother's family is buried.  Took some pics for posterity.  I eventually found the way to where my parents are buried and had a silent moment with them.  I still miss them after four years.  I became an orphan within the space of six months.  

I was fitfully sleeping this morning when the yard crew showed up so there was no lounging after that.  The allergens are, shall we say, rampant so I'ma gonna' stay inside until it settles.  One positive of my day is that I actually got to watch Kristen Hampton LIVE doing Disney face masks like Cruella which leaves your face soft as a dalmatian's butt.  She is so out there it's a steady laugh.  

Same for Rusty Myers and Trae Crowder.  I just can't get enough of it.  Trae is upright liberal and appeals ( of course ) to all of us libtards especially southern ones.  He's from Celina TN where the hospital recently shut down.  How sad.  Rusty, on the other hand, is a satirist and makes fun of Trump in a whole different way that just cracks me up.  He and his buddies are on the Well Red Tour.  

Y'all don't eat all the chocolate bunnies at one sitting.  That is all ^j^

Monday, April 22, 2019


It's a beautiful Monday and I've been out and about for a bit enjoying the day.  I visited with some friends in the Finley area and came away feeling hopeful.  It takes a village.

Brainstorming is often my downfall.  I get these grand ideas known as "the big picture" and get caught up in the little details of making something happen.  I'm learning to back off from that.  

Oscar is my little black and white rescue terrier.  He was horribly abused prior to coming to live here by default.  The past neighbors were responsible for that.  He kept coming up my way with big scoops cut out of his back and I called the Humane Society for a welfare check.  Dude said he couldn't afford to feed him so just let her have him.  As a result of this he is startled easily when he's sleeping which is often with me.  I've got scars to prove it.  Sometime during the night I put my foot in the wrong place and he chomped into it.  Lawd y'all.  From all the blood you would have thought there had been a murder.  My prayer now is that I don't develop cellulitis because I've had that from a dog bite in my hand and it ain't fun.  

I'm sitting here listening to music for inspiration ^j^

Sunday, April 21, 2019

the reckoning

Something hit me today like a ton of bricks.  I am 45 minutes away from my daughter and my grandchild and they both really need me to be more regular with my visits.  We have fun and play for a couple of hours.  Then it's snuggle time.  Yet I am not a part of her life in a real way.  We skype and talk on speaker and she usually screams and whines because Mama's on the phone.  There is nothing to keep me from moving closer.  Jackson is a way cool place and has a lot of nice bedroom communities like Medina.  Unless I find a job real soon it will be back to the basics.  My friend has urged me not to see cost as a factor but I'm not quite there yet.  I've put in a lot of years on this farm and it's in my blood.  Never owned a thing on it, ever.  Daddy was a modern day sharecropper which is what he learned from HIS father.  That was his second job in addition to USDA.  My Pawpaw was the manager of the property when Mom and Daddy got married.  He took the job in 1956.

Both of them worked not only at the day job but in the garden.  Daddy grew it and she canned it.  This gave me a keen appreciation of growing your own in order to eat.  We had chickens but not for long.  There were cattle every freakin' where surrounded by rusty barbed wire fences falling off the posts.  The cows were his hobby after retirement and he chased them 'til the end.  The small herd went to a local vet eventually. Two years later the P.H. White cattle rub came down.

Sometimes I miss the sound of their moos.  I suppose I should go to a safari park and talk to the animals.  I hear it's good therapy.  I received a very powerful totem yesterday in the form of a hawk.  This wasn't just your usual hawk scoping out small animals to eat.  He was perched with wings spread on the tree right next to my front porch.  And of course there's the red winged blackbird.  And the full moon ^j^


One of the traditions at my home church is flowering cross for Easter.  Usually folks drop their flowers off to the arrangers as they arrive for SS or service and they work their little tails off getting it done.  I had to work today so I took my dogwood and azalea and left them in a vase at the base of the cross covered in magnolia leaves.  When I came back by this afternoon it was a masterpiece.  The running joke is "why did the Baptists cross the road?"  To get a picture in front of the flowering cross of course.  I love it.

I still have SNL to look forward to after I walk the yard a bit.  Tomorrow I will go see Bill and get a few flowers.  I'm going small and in pots this year for the most part.  I don't know what that senator was thinking when she made the remark about nurses "playing cards" but she's opened up a HUGE can of worms.  When you insult any particular group of healthcare providers, the whole tribe plus other disciplines want to whip your ass.  She can kiss her re-election goodbye.


Saturday, April 20, 2019

in between

Today is Holy Saturday and it's beautiful compared to the storms and darkness of yesterday.  In a way I take it as a promise that the resurrection did happen even as the followers mourned.  Imagine their surprise to find that empty tomb!   One of my favorite parts of the Bible is the road to Emmaus because that is basically the beginning of true discipleship out in the world.  Believers talking about what they have seen and witnessed.  

I thoroughly enjoyed Colbert's take on the Mueller report and can't wait to see what SNL does next.  I've been  a Trae Crowder fan from the beginning of his rants on the porch.  Now that he's on tour and making albums I hope he doesn't stop the porch rants, good old Tennessee style.  Liberal Redneck indeed!!

I haven't seen my girls in a couple of weeks and I need a fix.  We'll wiggle our schedules around to make it happen.  It makes me sad that I'm not there to play Easter bunny stuff.  I'm sure she's hunted some eggs and had a grand old time anyway.  

Be kind to one another ^j^

Friday, April 19, 2019

between the lines

So many people tend to read something into one's words that were not the intent of the author.  I'm just as guilty as the next guy though not the way I used to be.  I take most interactions at face value and don't get offended easily.  I am a very direct person and I became that way through finding out what my core beliefs are.  About myself. About humanity.  As I find a new piece, or one that has been hidden away, I incorporate it into the big picture that is the rest of my life.  Learn from your mistakes.  Be kind to others.  Stay true to yourself.
Even while the "base" is rejoicing over the no collusion thing, there are a lot of underlying issues unfolding.  For example Trump's nasty responses to a report that was unusually well crafted and should have been reason for a period of quiet.  For two years we have been on a "witch hunt" to get him.  In his words "that's bullshit."  When was the last time you heard a sitting POTUS say bullshit?  Yeah.

He is his own worst enemy, no doubt.  His stubborn persistence on being right and having the last word will be his downfall.  It's not a matter of if but when.  We are approximately 18 months away from an election which is what it will take to turn the tide.  I'm not endorsing anybody at this point just doing research.  This vote will count. 

Today is, of course, Good Friday.  The cross is draped in black, waiting quietly as we ponder what happened that day.   My friend and I were discussing this the other day mid-air about how the crucifixion must be felt in the heart.  That's the beauty of the gift, so to speak.  

Peace be with you ^j^

Thursday, April 18, 2019

come and get me

That's about the way I feel today.  There's not an ounce of oomph left in this old body.  I was beyond annoyed to be forced to listen to the AG all morning.  I kept watching the eyes on Rosenstein and they NEVER moved unless his name was mentioned!  What a good old boy redacted version of 'Murka.  There's a lot of blank spaces up in there that we the people can't see but Congress will. 

Praise be!  I have new driving glasses just in time to see the girls if it's not a monsoon.   All three dogs have been treated for fleas and ticks.  I have more free time to explore what I'm going to be when I grow up.  It's all hunky dory.

This is foot washing day for many of us.  There was that last supper when Jesus told his bunch what was up and washed their feet as a final act of love, knowing that he would be betrayed.  

Maundy Thursday

Wednesday, April 17, 2019


I have a lot of gifts and pretty fair skill set.  I'm a steady alto if I take a few breaths in between.  I'm a writer, or like to call myself one because I do it faithfully even if it's nothing but a whinefest.  My friend Chuck once referred to me as a very "consistent" blogger.  I've been reading his during our respective Lenten journeys and I can so relate.  Caring for someone who is disabled and caught up in the giant medical industry is a lesson in what the hell do I do next?  The answer is rest so that you can be of more service.  I never did that when I was on the home stretch with my parents because I was still a full time employee of said medical revolving door.  That gave me an inside track that most folks don't have.

With the political climate in our world being what it is, I feel very vulnerable.  Our government is being run by rich people who don't know us from Adam except from some voter app.  I didn't choose that and a lot of others didn't either.  The decline in civility and world peace during the past two years is still not enough to wake up the eyes of the cult.  If they come to my house the dogs will bite their asses!

The Wesleyan tradition is that pastors come and pastors go, often on a circuit.  Appointments are made by the Bishop of the conference area with lay input.  It's like playing a game of chess or something where you have to consider what the needs of a particular congregation are and find the right person. I would never begin to remember the names of all of them over my 63 years there.  There are a couple I choose to forget.  When I was a high school student we got our first kinda' sorta' youth minister/associate.  His name is Larry Tubb and he had us teenagers from the get go.  He actually kept me in those pews until I graduated from high school.  We had a little coffee house in the old library.  Melted candles on bottles and the whole deal.

I was a delegate to annual conference ONE time and one time only.  Some of you may remember the story of Gary Shorb coming at the end of opening service to pitch his hospital system to the delegates.  I was not amused because I worked there and had to report the next morning.  It was late and I was in Jackson. 

Donna Locke drove me there that night.  She's got the sweetest soul and the look on her face as I sat next to her on All Saint's day has given me faith through the years.  Her husband Mark is the one who put together passion play that moved my faith from head to heart.  Willis G was a part of that era.  

There are certain ones who have held me up during the past five years.  Dell King is one.  Ed White is another.  I am pleased to now know Dakota Simpson and Will Clark and I look forward to the next one in line.

Peace and Grace ^j^



home sweet home church

Here we are in the midst of Holy Week.  I've attended most of the Lenten services on Wednesday at noon in the chapel and have been blessed beyond measure.  Today there were stations of the cross in the sanctuary which I lovingly took my time visiting, reliving the events leading to the crucifixion.  I was the only one there and it was quiet.  By the time I got to the altar I was in tears as I knelt to pray.  I felt so humble and so grateful for the community of believers there that have been such a big part of my life.  It took a long time following the deaths of my parents for me to go up in there and not lose it.  My friend Delores held my hand through it.  At the communion rail I lit candles for my parents and for Lauren and Reaves.  

Ellie ate my driving glasses some time ago and I've been winging it but finally went for an eye exam today.  Very little had changed in three years and all looked good.  It was quick, pleasant and informative.  Thanks to all involved at Family Eye Care for making that happen.  BTW, their cash pay price for an exam is 30 bucks less than Wallyworld.  

With four animals and farm dust all over the house I decided my best vacuum option was a shop vac so I bought one yesterday.  Nothing fancy, but it works wonders.  I've read about all the millions being pledged to aid in the reconstruction of Notre Dame and have to wonder why folks won't give that freely to the least of these.  I'm funny that way.  Those poor folks in Puerto Rico are still struggling with the basics and yet another hurricane season is on the way.  

I am thrilled to announce that I am now a "top fan"of Kristen Hampton.  This gal never ceases to make me laugh.  I'm a top fan of a lot of unconventional comedy.  It's just how I'm wired.

Happy hump day folks.  Keep the faith ^j^

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

expect nothing

If there is one core truth that I have learned in life it is that.  Expectation eventually leads to disappointment so I'd rather just go with the flow and then nothing surprises me.  Well, maybe some things but I digress.  The ability to adapt to change is the key to surviving life and keeping your sanity.  This, I learned the hard way.

I got to visit with my BFF today and she hasn't changed a bit.  We are of similar mind on most everything.  Fortunately I was home in time to watch Kristin Hampton do amazing tricks with bananas in her hot car wearing a Bea Arthur t-shirt.  Check her out.  She's a hot mess in a good way.  

The birds are singing and it's warm and so all seems right in my world.  I watched in horror with everybody else while Notre Dame burned on the first day of Holy Week.  There is a message there I'm sure but umm.  Very sad.  The good news is that lots of the stained glass windows were saved.

There is a red winged blackbird that has claimed the newest baby pecan tree as home.  He or she perches up there even in the wind guarding and protecting me and mine.  I will never in a thousand years catch him in a picture, but he's my daddy telling me to soldier on.  

And I will ^j^

Monday, April 15, 2019

a fact of life

I stopped by the visitation for my friend's mother just to give him a hug, just because.  I have been FB friends with two of his sons forever and finally met them in person.  It's funny how we come together at odd times but funeral services are the norm.  You see everybody and their brother.  As I was leaving I hugged two more necks that I've not seen in awhile, one of which was my cousin/sister.  

Carol and I have lunch about once a week and our usual favorite spot is Los Portales.  Usually it's quiet but today it was packed out with squealing kids.  I love me some leftovers from there.   I later ran into yet another old friend from high school that I didn't even  recognize when he passed by.  His wife asked me "Do you know who that is?"  Lord have mercy y'all.  In the words of Brother Dave Gardner "Ain't life strange?"  

There's this guy who hangs around the chicken store and I onl  y paid attention to him because he chatted me up a week or so ago.  Today, he was parked longwise across two spaces and asked me for a dollar to which I replied no.  "Oh, and nice parking job dude."  He came in, bought a drink and left.  When I stopped to get gas this afternoon he was back, probably waiting for another stooge.  I've been hit up too many times by pan handlers in parking lots.  You wouldn't believe the stories they come up with.  

It's a beautiful day in the 'hood.  And for that and much more, I am thankful.

Always remember who you are ^j^

Sunday, April 14, 2019

whatever it takes

Morning came dark and rainy and I needed the sleep.  Once I let the dogs out I was able to rest in peace for two more hours waking just in time to watch the service at my church via live stream.  My internet connection is so slow I had to watch it by phone but still, I got the message.  There were palm fronds and kids and lots of Hosanna.  Ed began his message with a story about being at a Christian music festival on the same day as the Columbine shootings.  The shooters asked one particular young lady if she was a Christian to which she replied "yes."  Those were her last words before she was murdered.  Going through her diary after her death these words were found  "Whatever it takes."  

God never promised that things would be easy.  Many times there seems to be no way out.  That his Son knowingly took the cup and died a horrific death for us is the core of Christianity.  The triumphal entry and the events of Holy week lead to betrayal on many levels.  Imagine having one of your own tribe kiss you as a sign that you will die and it makes all the little betrayals in your life meaningless.  There will be struggles.  There will be pain.  Bad things happen to good people.  Yet in the end, God almighty has our backs.  

I'm not a preacher by any means but I feel called to make a difference where I can.  If that means listening to somebody's problems so be it.   Sharing life stories is a powerful tool for healing the soul.  So how do we serve others?

Whatever it takes ^j^

Saturday, April 13, 2019

from beginning to end

Ultimately we all have rights as to how our medical care should be delivered.  As long as you are deemed of right mind, the decision is yours.  There's something called a Living Will that every hospital you ever enter will ask if you have.  My parents had theirs in order all properly signed and notarized.  I was their go to girl on that because....you know why.  An advance directive in the pocket of the right person makes sure your wishes are honored.  Hey...you may have to argue with the gigantic systems that make money off of futile care but it's worth it because THAT person trusted you as an advocate.  Which oddly enough brings me around to the subject of abortion.

There is a legal precedent that guarantees a woman's right to terminate a pregnancy.  Rape.  Incest.  If this woman knows enough to figure out she's pregnant six weeks is a reasonable amount of time to have this done safely and legally.  I am pro-life meaning that decisions must be made quickly.  For funding to be withheld from Planned because they perform abortions is absurd.  No federal money goes to that part of it.  The federal funding covers birth control and basic women's health.  Google it.  Evangelical fury has turned this into a talking point in the political arena.  

I remember the day I got the call from my daughter and she asked if I was sitting down.  "Are you pregnant" I asked.  The answer was yes following about ten dolla' store tests.  Alrighty then.  That little miracle is 18 months old now and surrounded by so much love you can see it in her smile.  Her mother made a decision knowing that it wouldn't be easy raising her alone.  Thankfully that has not turned out to be the case.  It takes a village y'all.

My friend Old Horsetail Snake was a former speech writer for the Governor of Oregon.  He and his wife both did the assisted suicide thing when the time came.  It's the only humane thing to offer to an elderly population or those with terminal illness.  You can only do so much THC before it's time to give up.   The states are in charge of this and the northwestern ones are particularly understanding of human suffering.  

The death penalty thing has moved from a negative to a positive to me despite the advances in DNA.  I say update your damn database and release the innocent.  Fry the rest of those freaks.  Drug charges should be null and void and replaced with supervised mental health.  It's a start.

Thanks for reading dear ones.  Poops is in a mood ^j^

meh and blah

Yeah, it's that kind of day.  I'm working on raising my spirits a bit by listening to music and writing.  It's the kind of afternoon when, if you're not a nap taker, you just wait for bedtime.  I can't remember the last time I took a nap because when I go down it's for the count.  The dogs have gotten to where they circle as if to round me up for our nightly snuggle.  I've found a couple of ticks on myself already so it's time to get that treatment started for them.  That's another expense of summer along with lawn service.  

I'm working on pieces about West Tennessee bands for my current assignment.  Always a groupie at heart!  Lauren went to see the remake of Pet Sematery and loved it.  She's the one who got me to watching strange things. I still don't like to be scared though!  Girl could watch hours of unsolved mysteries if she had the time.  

Good Friday for me will consist of a visit to see them which is indeed good.  I imagine I will quietly drive back that afternoon contemplating what happened on the cross.  For me.  And you.  On the Via Dolorosa.  


Friday, April 12, 2019

the savage beast

They say that music calms it and I'm a believer.  I love music of all genres and it inspires me to get in touch with my thoughts and feelings.  Plus it makes housework more tolerable.  When I was little we had a record player that got some play with classics like The Platters.   I took piano lessons because I was "urged" to and could probably still play if I had one here.  It's on loan to a lady who plays at church but will come back to me at some point.  I hope it's no time soon because there's no place for anything else up in here.  I've even taken a liking to rap and hip hop in my old age.  I currently listen to a TON of Brandi Carlisle.  I see many more awards in her future.  First Aid Kit.  I love it when I'm introduced to another artist that stirs my soul.  

I made a quick run to town and that's the extent of my travel today.  There are dishes to wash and things that must be done before I can begin "tidying" up.  The spirit moves me in spurts so I know when it's time to get focused and now is it.  I wonder if Adderal would help??   Nah.   My luck I'd have a stroke.

The pollen is thick as dust on every outside surface.  My upper respiratory system can tell it big time.  I'm feeling humble and grateful and even optimistic.  Finding the right path takes a lot of patience and going with your gut.  I'm not sure where I'll end up but I'm a much better listener of the Spirit than I ever was before.  I have great friends and a beautiful daughter who is a stupendous mother to my only grand.  I live on a little patch of paradise that is part farm and part nature preserve.  And I am loved beyond measure.  I call that peace.  And you know what?  Faith is what got me there.

Palm Sunday is approaching and of course I'll be worshiping virtually.  Holy Week after that.  A friend and I had a long discussion about the agony of Good Friday and the importance of grasping what actually happened that day before all the hooray of the resurrection.  You can't have one without the other.  

I am looking to this generation to fix things.  They are smart, bright and ready for change.  I may not see it but it's the shift in motion toward peace and justice that gives me the will to live.  I am totally over all things bullshit and call it when I see it.  That gets me a lot of troll activity but I ignore it.  

Y'all stay faithful and look for the good.  Gratitude is what's up.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

things i ponder

I'm kinda ADHD so my mind tends to race from one thing to the other.  As a result, I am not nearly as productive as I could be.  What I am striving for is to get my house in order to where I can have an office and a sitting room I'm  not ashamed of.  Right now it's packed full of furniture and boxes. Patrick asked me the other day why I keep getting furniture when I have a house full.  The simple answer would be that I'm a hoarder but it's not that.  I know what pieces I want to keep.  It's a process.  I can even begin to Kondo the rest of it until I get the whole mess in piles.  There's a method to the madness.  It has taken me a year to go through albums and pictures and boxes of stuff left by my parents.  And I'm still not done.  Now and then I find something that somebody SOMEWHERE needs to see.  

The bomb cyclone redux is blowing like the devil here but thankfully it's warm.  That means allergy central what with all the pollen blowing around.  I take three meds for allergies and it takes all of them to keep me from being a sniveling mess.  Meanwhile I am adjusting to having a normal BP which is kind of tiring if you know what I mean.  Also, a process.

If my house ends up in Kansas I hope there's not a blizzard there ^j^

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

lazy personified

Actually I'm not lazy, just easily distracted and I go where the spirit moves.  Today I woke up at 6:30 thanks to the dogs so I just got up and on with it.  It's a beautiful day and I cruised around without a specific agenda other than paying the rent and getting a few groceries.  It's a real challenge to grocery shop when your stove ain't working.  I'm out of propane again so it's snack and microwave time until that's taken care of.  I had time to kill so I visited a guy at an exhaust shop to get a feel for what I need to make the trusty Camry a bit quieter.  He patiently explained to me about how a converter works with the manifold which seems to be my problem.  He will get my business as soon as he gets un-busy.  He took over the homegrown business when his Daddy died and comes highly recommended.  

I ran by to pick up a Matilda Jane dress that Lauren bought for Reaves second hand and it's cute as pie.  This child is seriously styling but would still just rather run nekkid.  Her mama got her some new unicorn shoes last week.  To die for adorable.  I'm ignoring politics at the moment.  They're all nuts at this point and most of it isn't about we the people.  

Over and out!  Enjoy that sunshine :)

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

good news

My BP is 120/60!  Of course that is because I take a pill prescribed by my GP.  I don't like feeling that way ya know?  When the adrenaline is rushing is when I'm ready to go for it.  Me and Carol "ate mexicans" today prior to work. Ain't nothing like a cute waiter/ess  taking your order.  I think we hit 80 today but I can't swear to it.  I just know I worked up a sweat in between air conditioners.  

There is really ugly spot at the point where Samaria Bend crosses over 51S.  Once upon a time the junkyard was a decent place but ummm...now it's a hot mess.  You got your people hauling metal off the highway and weighing it up.  Sometimes pieces fall off like the one I saw yesterday.  Across the street is some kind of shed where guys get out and play with cars that never move and don't work.  Mr. Smith is right next door and is an excellent addition to our community.  As far as I know the junkyard people rent the empty car lot next to the pond. 
Imagine passing by this 5 times a day and dodging the screws and whatnot.  Not to mention the metal piece in the middle of the road.  You gonna' do business?  Clean it up.

I went down to the cabin today and found Daddy's dogwoods in full bloom.  They may make it 'til Easter which is a pretty special day.  My first experience with my mother's mortality was on an Easter Sunday as she was driving up to the corner of Main and McGaughey following Daddy who was all ahead of her for choir.  She had macular degeneration and couldn't see well enough to not pull out in front of somebody.  I was working and followed up.  It wasn't pretty what with the airbags and all.  She had one more wreck before it was over with the driving.  That's when Daddy took over.  Her favorite preacher Rev'd Cook showed up in the ER with a mini-sermon entitled "Surprise!"    

Monday, April 8, 2019

from the heart

I got a phone call last week from a friend of some friends who need help with their living situation.  I promised to meet with them and see what was up but said up front that I am already committed.  This was just kind of a pro-bono social work call with old friends.  We talked and wandered and looked and visited.  At one point all three of us worked together in healthcare.  Many memories there.  Too many to count.

After that I went to the crack store Pennington's for dirt and a few flowers.  I have an abundance of compost out here so I think I'm set except for the two 'mater plants.  Not until May though.  Oh.  And a fern.  Gotta' have a Boston even though they die out easily.  

The ATT guy is here checking out my line so if I turn up missing call 911.  I'm still hot spotting for about 5 days now.  We shall see.  I picked up dinner to go from Dave's on the square which consists of a big fat burger and onion rings.  Nom nom.  

The poison whatever is still itching so I picked up another product at the Finley 'gentral to try and help with it.  I hate taking Benadryl because it gives me a hangover.  This is a cream that contains all three.  Wish me luck.

Happy Monday.  If you can remember what day of the week it is, consider yourself blessed beyond measure ^j^

Sunday, April 7, 2019

peace and quiet

I'm listening to Delta Rae and running through the day's blessings.  I started with a double dose of Charles Stanley and Steve Gaines plus reading the scriptures from the FUMC newsletter.  Hey....church is where you find it.

My friends and neighbors double teamed it today to salvage some furniture for me from down the road.  It's on the porch but I can drag it in if need be.  One piece is in excellent condition complete with beveled mirror.  Great big shout out to Keith and Patrick for making it happen.  There's a long story there but I think y'all know the loose history.

The three of us visited in the front yard listening to the quiet and marveling at what a bit of paradise is like to call home.  My birds are happy now that the rain has stopped.  And as fate would have it, there comes "that" song that always reminds me of a particularly painful night.  Before my mother died.  I knew it was coming and my brother stayed with her.  

Y'all be safe out there ^j^

Saturday, April 6, 2019

inner child

I have always been headstrong.  Over the years I have developed boundaries and learned to identify many personality types and act accordingly.  My self confidence has never been higher due to the fact that I'm a grown woman who understands that everyone has an opinion and we are each entitled to that.  To claim that there is one truth is ridiculous in my eyes but every day's business for many.  

That being said, there is a little girl inside me who can still be shamed on certain occasions.  There are triggers, which I usually identify and work through.  But at times, I feel that I am never enough.  When that happens I put myself in time out and cry until I'm past it and can find the grace to embrace ME again.  Fortunately I have a tribe that lifts me up when I least expect it yet need it the most.  

For many years I was everybody's darling at work because I was an overachiever.  The last few years there were literal hell because I was burned out from all that striving for perfection.  I am generally reliable, dependable and do what is expected of me in any particular situation.  But, everybody falls short.  And we are forgiven because of the Cross.  

I used to play the victim pretty regularly rather than owning up to my part .  I'm way past that to the point where I prefer to address the elephant in the room and move on.  If I am wrong I admit it and ask for forgiveness.  What hurts is waiting for that forgiveness until it's freely given.  

I forgive most things easily but there are some things that I will never forget, mostly involving people who put their own self interests above those of others.   I could tell you stories by chapter and verse where I have witnessed this, some including my own family.  But the re-telling of the story does nothing but keep the memory alive of something that was painful.  

Forgive others, but mostly just forgive yourself.  Shame is a soul killer ^j^

here we go again!

Mowing season on the lane officially began today with none other than one of the ones I raised at the wheel.  My one special request was for them to weed eat the monkey grass.  It's a sprawling hot mess.  I have two azalea bushes that may or may may not make it this year.  If not, they're history.  I went out to my friend Bill's nursery today and he gave me some free big pots to put my 'maters in.  I spotted this totally cool hummingbird feeder that's like a tube so I scooped that up but haven't figured out how to put it together.  I'ts a hanging bar with multiple feeding ports.  The crowd is growing outside my bathroom window.

Today has been productive in an odd sort of way.  There were loose plans to meet up with the girls but that didn't work out so I've been doing laundry and otherwise spreading joy.  I needed to get a bit more organized.  I pray that you and yours are well. 


Thursday, April 4, 2019

scratching the itch

Well, today's adventure was a visit to urgent care to find my systolic BP is , as usual, out the roof.  O2 was great and weight stable.  Normal temp.  My reason for being there was an outbreak of poison ivy from digging in the dirt too early.  Or maybe the dogs wallered in it got it on me.  Whatever.  She gave me a half dose of Decadron due to the high BP and recommended a product called tecnu which I had never heard of.  It removes the oil from the blisters.  Go figure that one.  I woke up with a new patch this morning so I knew I needed some relief.  I headed to Walgreens during school traffic and picked some up along with a bit of supper from their frozen section.  Hey....I could live in their stores for a year and never go out.  You can also use this stuff to remove skunk smell from your dogs.  I have a feeling it will come in handy around here.  Oddly enough, this is the first time I've had the evil skin rash in years but you can't see the leaves yet dammit!  

The continuing saga of ATT and me includes a scheduled Monday visit from a field tech.  I won't go into the long story but I asked old girl if she had the notes from the last six months in front of her.  Yes. I work from home.  And yes, I'm at the end of the line.  "has it been raining and stormy there?" she asked.  Honey please. We'll see if he shows up on the right day.  Meanwhile, the line hangs above the exposed septic tank with a nifty protective cover thanks to the last field tech's visit.  I know they don't hate me, really.  It's just frustrating.  

I have to admit that I'm an NBC morning junkie.  I love all hours of it and this week has been pretty sad for all involved what with the departure of the great KLG.  I actually cried today as she talked about her late parents and what they taught her.   Jenna has big shoes to fill but you know what?  I think they fit her.  

I will try one more time with the BP med that I was prescribed and see if it does the trick.  If not, I'll have to get back to the doctor for something different.  It's called isolated systolic hypertension.   Exercise will help a lot now that it's "pretty" outside.  

Live, Laugh, Love.

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

a guy, a girl and a dog get on a plane

One of the many things I've never done is fly in a small plane.  I flew one time commercial and once in a helicopter.  The chopper was most def not for me.  No!Doors!  My friend Chuck flies all the time and we had discussed him taking me up with Griz for a bucket list item.   He called this morning and we met at the airport after the Lenten church service which is a whole 'nother story.

We saw all the flood waters in northwest Tennessee and he showed me where each river enters into the other.  He was a true professional and went through the checklist with me before and after we took off.  Since Griz didn't get the front seat he just slept in the cabin.  I watch planes take off and land from that airport daily.  Today was a lesson in how it works here and what it looks like from up there.  

I have a friend with a very complicated life at this point.  I've invited him to join me for the Wednesday services and he's like...ummm.  When I arrived today I noticed a nice looking black gentleman with papers hurrying into the side entrance by where the kids were playing.  Later on, I discovered that he is the one and only James Luvene.  Now that's too much of a coincidence considering his relationship with my friend.  He spoke of being integrated as a fifth grader who could not read or write in Hattiesburg, MS.  The principal's wife was his teacher and on day one NOBODY spoke to him or acknowledged his presence.  There were hate signs outside the school, parents angry over integration.  The teacher took all this in and quietly took James aside on day 2 to show him the library and pick out some books.  Thus, their relationship began.  We all thanked God for that lady and her acts of nobility in the face of right and wrong.  He worked through four grades in one year with her help.

Honestly?  That's what Jesus would do ^j^

Monday, April 1, 2019

i'm pregnant and it's yours

That was my lame attempt at an April Fools joke.  If it happened it would be like a biblical scenario.  Immaculate conception and what not.  But hey, remember how old Sarah was when she gave birth!!
Lorna and I met up at Dave's to solve discuss the problems and blessings of the world.  We laughed like hyenas because we have the same sense of humor which is sometimes pretty twisted.  We are both old enough to be over the bullshit and enjoying life because hey...it's short and then you die.

The birds outside the throne are sparking much joy in my little world.  I read that a famous rapper got gunned down in front of his own clothing store.  I'm not familiar but it does sound gang related since he was a longtime member of Crips maybe? 
According to everyone interviewed he was a social activist and did a lot to improve communities.  Solid family man.  

By the way my score on name that tune yesterday was about 10% on the way there but a solid 90 on the way home.  Not bad for an old hippie.

Keep the faith ^j^