repeat

Let us all hold hands and pray for those who are affected by an inconvenient early spring rain and snow event.  This farm out here is surrounded by the Forked Deer river which runs all around West tn from north to south. Then there's the lake up there close to the big muddy close to Reelfoot. 1812.  It's a real thing!  That lake is home to many fish houses and lotso wetland.  I would love to see the swampy part with a good guide.  

One of the signature things at Reelfoot is the cypress stumps.   The handrail to my attic is made of those, but from here.  I have never NOT called this cabin home.  Even when I ran away to college or moved up on the hill, this place is where we grew up.  And we live here now, once again.  My dear friend Patti died yesterday and I had the big ugly cry for quite some time.  We are sooo much alike.  

I had a kind of snippy experience with a practitioner yesterday where I started spilling my guts and cute ass girl told me on the way out "Everybody's got something."  I don't know what hers is but prayers are up.  I know dear.  You are young and traveling to work and whatnot.  So are the old folks.  I saw quite a few being brought in by caregivers.  LP sat in the car the whole time.  Much more comfy that the waiting room ;)  I was in and out within 2 hours and I will take that and praise God.  Life happens one miracle at a time.

My faith helps me to believe that there is something better than a state controlled media and whatnot.  But it happened before and it can happen again if everybody just says WTF and lays down.  I will not, by any means.  I know what's going on in the world right now from the few news agencies who are allowed to post.  Gulf of Mexico?  Hell yes. 

I can't really expect any sort of miracle at any time.  They happen in the most subtle of ways.  Sometimes you don't even realize it until way later....that something you saw as a tragedy can turn into something better.  At least that's my experience.  I almost died twice from abcessed diverticulitis.  Once was on a 2am run to the ER for what I knew was going on, only to be told by a doc there that I didn't have that because my WBC was normal.  When he failed to order a CT I should have pitched a fit in pain right then and there.  Only I was already getting septic and didn't know it.  "No scan for you!" said the ER nazi.  The rest is history.  Oh..and

the reason that I almost died that first time was driving over the hill like a bat out of hell on loose gravel. 

I could see the ditchbank facing me and said to myself "Oh Lord, this is it."  I wasn't really scared but instead grabbed that wheel and got us back on the road.  I don't remember the ride home.  I reckon God got me there.  Ten days later, it all got real.  But enough about that.   Today's top story is the weather.

We got some snow last night and it's pretty dang cold at the moment.  Thanks be to Baker Gas and Oil for keeping us warm out here at the cabin.  These guys deliver come rain or snow or shine and always take time to chat.  I don't think Adam will be chatting with us today but if he does, we will offer him something warm to drink.  One time Butch delivered to us on the hill on Christmas Eve.  In the snow!

These are the kind of people that you realize, much later on, are miracles in your life.  I owe everybody and their brother but I am making amends by going to them face to face to explain where I'm at on upcoming payments.  I broke down and cried with one of my creditors which is not like me.  I think I had just had enough of life at the moment and he was the lucky one to have me for a little cryfest.  What made it so special is that he never wavered and did not scold.  He heard me.

Car settlement process is slowly happening.  We still have a rental but ain't nobody going anywhere.  Maybe tomorrow.  When we receive the money, which will be a hot minute, we have to find another vehicle that is in the budget.  LP and I have had two cars donated to us in our lifetimes.  One was a snazzy old Caddy from my friend John Yarbro.  The other was one that Lauren inherited from a friend in Jackson.  Lots of love in both of those actions.  If you can't get around, you can't work.  I took Mama and Daddy to church many a time in old that old Caddy.  It's what Zubrovka wanted for them.

We have milk and bread and TP so we are more fortunate than many.  And I think that the backwater has stabilized.  Somebody is shooting at blackbirds out there right now which is fine with me.  It allows the pretty birds to feed without being hated on.  

ever''body got sompin'

If this blog reads sort of wonky it's because my eyes are still dilated from the exam with a retina specialist.  Minimal change but he had "the talk" with me about driving.  The very same one me and Bubba and the doctors and the  cops did with Mama and Daddy.  The very last wreck was a hit and run by Daddy at none other than the Samaria Bend Road crossing on Highway 51,  Speed limit 55.  LP got slammed there as a teenager riding with somebody else.  They fly!

Daddy was soooooo mad about those keys.  Bubba was in the woods somewhere with a timber guy so I got to be the bad kid.  He gave it up pretty. easily being the stubborn sort that he was.  As for me?  I am just grateful that I have family members who watch out for me and my safety.  Bubba's' favorite phrase is either "one of these days" when I don't answer in 3 rings , or "Don't break a hip on those steps."  Alrighty then.

I found that spending less time with the news this morning kind of gave me a bit more happiness.  I can't change it, only God can.  And not that fake golden idol one.  Everybody is an efficiency expert in their own mind.  As for me?  I'm about a C-.  Try as I may I can't just keep it up.

We shall see how kind people want to be right about now.  South Dyersburg is flooding and there is a winter storm warning.  Tye police have it shut off  all the way through the chicken store area.  I remember once upon a time when my favorite grocery story floated for the last time.  That was a pretty strong headwater from the Nashville area.  Small world...and big rivers.  We had 20 minutes to get to town and back home.  Then we left the car close to the bypass in a shop parking lot, only to get a call a bit later telling us it was about to be swalled up.  That was the "trusty" old Camry.  I shall not purchase another Ford.  Ever.  I'll stick with the imports.  That Camry got me through many a flood down at the end of Pecan Lane.  One morning I had to be at work before daylight and all I could see was water.  In the headlights!  I told her I wouldn't  be there until the light was better.  And I prolly got written up.

I am using this time of hibernation,  if it happens, to get my life in order somewhat.  My old ass doesn't deal well with complicated things like wrecks.  You are at the mercy of the insuring company which can be tricky.  In this case, both parties were insured by the same company.  Thus, I have been dealing with HIS adjustor.  Same claim number.  I've been jumping through hoops to get the documents to them regarding the new transmission.  

There are lots of people in my prayers today.  You are next ^j^

is he the one?

Mary Beth's sermon this morning was a comparison of the stories in all the different gospels about his relationship with John the Baptist.  I was supposed to be liturgist but *sick* so my friend Jay stepped up and did  a much better job that I would have with reading the Gospel.  MB talked about the timeline including John the Baptist and Jesus and offered a different version.  John was possibly imprisoned at the time of Jesus' baptism.  Picture this:  John can't know about all the things that Jesus had done to prove himself as our Messiah.  He was in JAIL.  Sooo...John's disciples visited him in jail and told him the stories.  He sent them back to Jesus with the question "Are you really the one?"  I can relate to that kind of curiosity because I have often felt that way myself.  In spite of experiencing miracles myself, sometimes I doubt.  Especially these days.

One of the biggest line items on the people's agenda was to get them our from under Roman occupation.  Which brings us to today in the good old USA.  Back in the days of Jesus, Jews and Christians alike were persecuted by the Roman government.  Which is pretty much happening right now.  Along with killing all the things that protect us as a world power.  I have to laugh sometimes just to get through the anxiety about what is happening here and around the world.  

The latest stupid move was to remove immigration judges because of a "a huge backup in cases."  So, you fire the ones who are doing that job?  I think not.  I will be the first to admit that I am tired of waste and fraud, especially with undocumented immigrants.  After working for over 40 years in the healthcare sector, I have seen almost every scenario where patients fall through the cracks because they have no advocate.  The current administration has no guardrails to reduce access to healthcare.  Yes, it's expensive.  And will probably become more so.  Our national forests are headed to the chopping block.  I could go on and on but I won't because it's not good for mental health.  This is where I just believe that Jesus died for us and our sins and God has a plan.  Maybe we are in the desert?  It's just a thought ^j^

farming

I grew up on a family farm that once had peonies and asparagus and other goodies that are very lovely.  Agriculture is tricky business at the very least because it is all dependent on the weather.  Too much rain is bad, especially all at once.  The rivers rise and the land is underwater until May or June.  Then you gotta' plant what's plantable and pay extra for potash because Canada supplies most of it and there's that tariff thing going on.  Canada hates us and so does Europe.  At this point in time, I don't think that our country is ready for a trade war.  Remember the Great Depression?  I have my great grandmother's ration book that was for gas, sugar and other things we depend on.  It was a total bust of the US economy and my Daddy grew up as a sharecropper's son during that time.  Thanks to Sam Reed he was able to attend UT Martin and graduate with a degree in agriculture.  His career with the USDA as a plant protection specialiust spanned decades chasing the Japanese beetle and other bugs that destroyed crops.  At the end, at the age of 55, he was able to retire due to his years of service in the Air Force.  Daddy lived every farmer's dream as both a federal ag employee and property manager.  

He was not particularly bright when it came to negotiating commission.  Five percent, If I remember correctly.  Yet we survived because of benefits for veterans and federal employees.  That stuff is gone baby gone.  Thanks Obama.  No wait, wrong one.  We all know things trickle down from DC to our individual states and our security.  The great state of Tennessee has repeatedly refused to accept money for Medicaid funding because...Hell I don't know.  That is the current administrations plan.  Pitch it all back to your states and let them deal with you.  As a red state resident, I'm not feeling really good about that.  Just a thought.

We are midway through a 48 hr monsoon.  Not sure how many inches but I think it will take us a while to dry out.  Plus there is snow coming on Tuesday night!  Yay?  It is what it is.  One day at a time ^j^

filthy rich

A nice lady named Jean came to deliver my visual aids today and she immediately reminded me of Leanne Morgan.  She didn't know who that was but she said she would find out.  There was a large print bible, big notepads and markers and lots of stick on lights with no batteries.  If anybody wants to give me a Valentine please buy me a jumbo pack of triple A batteries.  I love you for that, really.  Leanne's twin was really embarrased about that but I was just like ""never mind."  Shit happens.  She is an advocate for visually impaired people like myself in the great state of Tennessee.  We got kickass sports and colleges and whatnot.  Plus a lot of scenic places like Reelfoot Lake.  Y'all know that story right?  If not google it.  My friend Mary has suggested going with another search engine to simpllfy things.  It's just a thought, as Belle would say.  Which oddly enough how Beau did his thing.  "Well, howdy there internet people!"

She and Trae Crowder and Sean Dietrich and the lord god almighty keep me sane.  Family and friends surround me.  The sun rises and sets as always.  I rewatched "Don't Look Up"  the other day.  I imagine that it will be that way.  I hope that my eyes are not shut to science and power grabs by billionaires.  I'm probably on the bad list now.  If they don't send my SS I will catch a ride to DC and protest peacefully.  Canada is pissed and holding firm.  That is a good thing in my opinion.  Who knows about those Gulf of Mexico folks.

Anyhoo. I am trying out the toys that she brought and the best ones by far are the gooseneck lamp and stick on LEDs.  Plus a large print Bible, praise the Lort!  I still have my Daddy's life application version.  I believe it was an anniversary gift from Mama.  Has his name on it and everything.  I peridically serve as a liturgist at my home church.  When I am not up there, I sit in the pew and watch the screen as I listen to the liturgist.  It's never a perfect rendition what with all those crazy biblical names.  I don't know one from another when it comes to the Old book.  But, I'm still learning.  It's never too late^j^

fire

I have always been fascinated with fire.  Ain't nothing like burning a bunch of crap to make one feel productive.  It can also get you in big trouble in a rural area.  My daddy knew just exactly when it was time to burn the pine needles over by that tree line next to the pasture.  One year I caught the empty field on fire burning off the asparagus bed and when Daddy came to investigate he said "Don't worry.  It won't jump the road."  And it didn't, but me and Debbie Elder were out there running around with whatever we could find to whack it out.

And then there was the time I made the front page of The State Gazette for (accidentally) causing a fire in the very same field only it was full of beans.  Bubba came along with the city and county fire people and first responders.  The damage was minimal and I learned that lesson the hard way.  It must have been a slow news day because the paper had the whole thing recorded for history.  That was NOT one of my finest moments.

I have had a recurring dream spanning most of my adult life.  In the dream I am in the bathtub, only the tub is in the living room.  I don't think I am real concerned about the house being on fire around me.  It's not scary, just something that I can remember.  

In a way that is how I feel about life right now.  Everybody's got drama and it changes day by day.  I admit that I have whined and cried way too much over car problems, and I apologize to God and everybody about that.  The details involved with something like that are hard to work out when you depend on others for a ride. I still work part time and so does LP, so there's that.  

Our friend told us yesterday to remember that it's just a season and it may seem long but eventually it will morph into something different.  That's how mother nature rolls ^j^  Faith.Hope.Love.  And the greatest of these is love.

it is what it is

Well kids, it seems that the not so trusty Ford is headed to a staging area to be totaled out.  This is pretty disturbing since I have a 4K note left on the transmission replacement.  This is what Old Hoss would call *not good.  In grand scheme of what's going on in the world right now, I might not even need a car.  I am enough of a conspiracy theorist to believe that taking things one day at a time is the only way to live.  Nobody knows that tomorrow will come.  My faith gives me the strength to keep on keeping on.  I think we're all gonna' end up in boats like in Waterworld, anyway.  I have a very grim view of our future right now because, well you know.  Watching the Constitution being burned like an old American Flag is really pissing me off.  There are three branches of government listed therein which are told to work together.  Trying to abolish the judicial branch is suicide for all of us.  'It's all about checks and balances.  Otherwise it's just a kingdom.

I am a Christian yet I respect the religions and spiritual practices of everybody else.  I believe in one great big God who loves us and wants us to be at peace.  All the rest is just details.  We can argue until the cows come home but everyone has their own relationship with the higher power.  If it works for you?  Go for it.I really don't care what is happening politically right now or whose fault it is.  As I have said before, I am a centrist which means I lean left but toward the middle.  I do have some Republican in me, just not the way things are right now.

So, I did break down and watch the Musk and Trump show and my first thought was "Who the heck is that kid>>   A cute little stage prop who got shushed on natioanl TV.  He went MIA shortly after....lol  Honestly, when I watch those two together I can see why so many people listen to them.  The charisma is captivating and if I didn't know what I know I might believe it too.  It is trickling down at a very rapid pace to where the 'Merkin people are getting kinda nervous.  Well, a bunch of us.  Food prices are insane because, IMHO, corporate greed.  To get the old school bag size of crunchy Cheetos, it costs two bucks more for party size.  At the gentral'  I've been craving them like Gaga did.  Her fingers were always orange as DJT''s tan.

LP and I are hanging tight through this season.  I keep remembering Daddys words: This too shall pass.  And leave room for the spirit to work ^j^