4 am musings

Apparently my body has decided to sleep on newborn time.  I have been waking up way before sunrise, this morning at 3am.  Sitting on the back porch in the dark I could hear coyotes back in the fields, probably pups judging by the intensity and volume of the yips.  Nothing like in the dead of winter when they howl endlessly.  It was a subtle reminder to me that these two cats who are eating me out of house and home are in danger if they get too far away from the food bowl.  It is nature's way.  I don't keep up with hunting seasons but I think it's around deer time and close to duck time.  

The fall colors are now peaking, a bit late for us, but beautiful none the less.  The dogwood right in front of my house is dark red and catches the light just right to show off.  

Much of my psychic energy is going into transitioning into an old, visually impaired old person who depends on others.  Always very independent, that is a hard thing to handle.  Bubba said he has never seen anybody who has to go to the 'gentral every stinking day, which ain't true.  It's just anytime I have a chance to get out!  I have so much empathy now for my parents needing rides here there and yonder for the last five years of their lives.  After they died we found a shit ton of disposable razors that Daddy had stockpiled through random trips to the store.  I inherited all of my mother's photo albums which are still in a box under the steps.  Time to haul those babies out and revisit the past.  Mom was a gifted journalist who brought receipts for EVERY rat killing she was involved in.  I have several volumes of my history that she compiled.  I failed Lairen in that respect but there are many pictures of her....just not organized by date and age...lol.

As I age and lose vision, the memories  in my head are the ones that stick.  Brothers in the cotton trailer on fire.  Debbie getting thrown off our horse Dan.  And of course, the New Year's day production at Gaga's where Tommy was baby new year, complete with diaper.  You can't make this stuff up.

Y'all enjoy the nice weather while it lasts.  Usually Novemblah consists of lots of gray rainy days.  We shall see, and keep the faith ^j^

america first?

Oh boy.  Congress is back in session, at least for today.  The final signature on the discharge petition was obtained after a "newly" elected rep from Arizona was finally sworn in.  Oh wait, that will happen today perhaps.  Then they go BACK out at the whim of Mike Johnson to avoid the Epstein files.  All of this while Americans are being arrested by ICE and forced to pay additional taxes on necessities like food, clothing and other living expenses.  Meanwhile, millions of our taxpayer dollars are being spent on marble for the Lincoln bathroom and conversion of the Rose Garden to a private club.  Corporate donors will pay for the "beautiful ballroom" which would be cool except they all want something in return.  That's how the whole thing works.  

The Trump administration has showed a total lack of respect for what the American people want.  We do not want to start a war with Venezuela.  We want affordable health care and food.  We want for the focus to be on US rather than on partisan politics.  And we are being let down every time political loyalty wins over the will of the people.

Scripture tells us a lot about these kinds of false prophets and how they lead vulnerable people to do evil things, even when they know better.  At some point narcissism causes folks to lose all empathy for others. You know, like cutting healthcare to millions while buying Kristi Noem two new jets for she and BF.  And what about that true romantic Kash Patel flying his girlfriend to a wrestling match on our dime.  I could care less about who's doing who out there as long as it doesn't affect me personally.  That kind of shit definitely affects me.  Like I would ever be a guest at Club Rose Garden.  Ha!

I got confirmation via CT that I do indeed have a parastomal hernia which will require surgical repair.  That was step one.  I have begun isolating again because my gut is so unpredictable.  For the last 2 nights I have woken up with leaks and had to get up half awake to change the whole apparatus.  This morning I was up at 4am and still going.  The changes in my stoma are such that I can't really get a good seal anymore.  And that, is a problem.  Note to self:  Talk to Jay ASAP!

My dressing is in the freezer and Bubba's 22 lb turkey is thawing.  I am giving thanks for so many things, even including the hardships.  That is how we learn, though it's hard to see through the pain and darkness to understand that truth.

Y'all enjoy the last few warm days of 2025 because winter is coming ^j^

tylenol and turkey

Well, here we are in the midst of the longest government shutdown in history  According to MAGA, it is the fault of the Democrats.  Never mind that Mike Johnson has put the entire house on indefinite paid vacation to avoid seating a newly elected representative from Arizona because she will be the deciding vote on releasing the Epstein files.  Meanwhile, food assistance is being kept from millions of people when they money is readily available.  Try putting that on your Thanksgiving table... Never one to pass up a chance to blame things on the previous administrations, Trump touted that Wally world's package deal for the meal is 40 bucks.  There are fewer items in the bundle and name brand products are being replaced with great value, the store brand.  But yeah, he takes credit for what he had nothing to do with, claiming that the price is "25% lower than under Biden."  Typical Trump.  

Lauren and I have enjoyed several beautiful sunrises out here lately.  She is helping me to clean and organize this messy house, which is her forte.  We listen to podcasts together and share opinions about the state of the world and, in particuar, our country.  And RFK continues to spread dangerous imformation about health issues.  Tylenol?  Please y'a;;.  The biggest danger I have seen from this OTC med is that people who want to commit suicide will take an entire bottle and die a slow death from liver failure.  I have seen it, and it ain't pretty.  Depending on how long after ingestion the patient presents for treatment, often times the patient would say "but wait..." and by then it's too late.  

Meanwhile, we are slowly drifting toward winter with a hard freeze in the forecast.  That should help the pecans to drop.  I still talk to Patty when I'm out there picking them up.  Lord how she loved it!

I am scheduled for an abdominal and pelvic CT next week to try and figure out what's up with my gut.  The surgeon who ordered it was quite personable and I deducted right away that he is a keeper.  If it is a prolapsed stoma, that's an easy fix.  If there is a hernia too then it becomes more complicated.  We shall see what God has in store.  And always, with faith ^j^

where's the beef

I am a country girl through and through.  As a farmer's daughter I have many memories of Daddy busting his ass to raise cattle and manage crops.  The herd was small by many standards, but it was his second job (besides USDA) and it took up much of his time off from the day gig.  I loved riding around with Dadd, and later Bubba, to visit the cattle that roamed around the farm.  The fencing was ancient barbed wire and cattle don't usually like being fenced in.  He walked the fence lines daily trying to keep those moos from escaping, yet they always did.  So did the horses.  It was a very common event for me to wake up and walk outside to find some large animal or another wandering in the yard.  Usually the finao horse, appropriately named Pride, would get really pissed when we tried to get him back into the barn lot.  Poor dude froze to death one winter and got buried right behind the very barn he loved to escape.  

My point is this:  Famers work very hard and their work is heavily weather dependent, eespecially with crops.  It is risky business that you have to love to keep going back in season after season.  Their livelihood is currently threatened by several economic decisions made by the current administration that includes tariff driven losses on crops and undercutting beef farmers by bailing out Argentina and importing THEIR beef.  China does not want American soybeans.  Zero orders since the tariffs went into place.  Farmers do not want a bailout, they want a market.  And that has been destroyed.

To another point, I learned that there is a bunker under the demolished East wing of the White House which is being renovated and covered with the corporate funded big beautiful ballroom.  BTW, Hitler did the same thing in 1937..Google it.

Things look pretty grim what with a gtovernment shutdown, healthcare crisis, recession, taxation without representation ( see Arizona rep still not sworn in ), indiscrimate bombing of fishing vessels and a whole long list of other bullshit.  I believe that Americans are knee deep in the fallout from all of these capricious decisions yet we are powerless to do anything but pay higher prices and die needlessly because of partisan loyalty.  I do not blame all Republicans, but the MAGA ones are not our friends.  They are afraid to cross Trump *and Vought, et al * so they just nod and do the work of the devil.   

Y'all keep the faith ^j^

 

eye of the beholder

 If you are politically progressive like myself, or even if you are MAGA, it is time to stand up and be heard.  What is happening these days is mind blowing and if you don't watch independent media you are only getting half of the story, or even less.  Being one who tries to see all sides, I occasionally drift over to see what's going on with the other side.  And I am always shocked.  I think it is important not to become desensitized to the violent rhetoric being used by maga.  Saturday will be a big one with protesters all over the world marching for No Kings. It is not just Americans who are upset.  "Now Poopie" you may say.  Don't be hyperbolic due to your trump derangement syndrome diagnosis.  I expect to see heavy military presence at these events, especially in blue cities where troops are already in place.  It is free speech at the core of this movement and many others.  BTW, antifa is not an organized group nor is Soros paying all these millions of protesters.  These are people who are not happy with the way our country is going, particularly with the government shutdown.  While one party showed up to work as usual, the one in power was told not to negotiate on healthcare provisions for Americans.  Oh and also, Puerto Rico is part of the USA so Bad Bunny is welcome.  Hey...it's all about the money right?

I retired before the age of 65 so I was covered by a marketplace plan until I hit the official Medicare age three years later.   There was no premium based on my income of SS payments.  During that time I was working as a sitter/personal assistant and in about August of 2019 I noticed that I was bleeding rectally.  My surgeon friend treated me with heavy antibiotics but there was no CT because I would have to pay a shit ton of money for it.  I should have trotted my ass right over to the hospital and gotten a CT.  It would have saved a world of trouble for my gut.  More antibiotics followed and it was pretty much kept under control until January 2020.   

In December of 2019 I had received a notice that my premium was going from zero to $1350 a month.  And that is how I entered my near death experience with an abcessed colon resulting in an illeocolostomy.  Everybody was kinda sorta expecting me to die but God had different plans.  Anywho...

My brother paid the 1350 so that that the incredibly expensive surgery would be covered.  I was very VERY sick for about six months.  During that time ( after Trump left office ) my monthly cost dropped to 330/month only I did not realize it because umm...sick as a dog.  I don't remember the details. That particular healthcare emergency changed my life forever.  I was navigating all of this by myself while managing a household of one*sometines* and a yard full of critters.

I remember odd things from that hospital stay. Trump was getting impeached for the second time, Kobe Bryant and his bunch crashed and COVID broke loose.  I watched on TV while China literally built hospitals in a week.  

On the morning of January 23rd I opened my eyes to the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen.  That was the day that my mother died in 2016 and I swear, I thanked her for that beautiful sight.  I was alive and I felt her presence..

Currently there are trolls on my FB page wanting to argue and I'm like "Really?  Get a life"  You will not change my beliefs in right v wrong with your angry rhetoric.  

Keep the faith ^j^

make it make sense

Following a brief hiatus from Pecan Lane posts, the Poopster is back! I have glasses that I can see to type with, which is heavenly. Part of the reason is that I found myself whining, bitching and moaning WAY too much for a blessed child of God like myself.  I reckon I sort of went down the rabbit hole with the state of our nation. There have been many foxhole prayers lifted up this year, particularly during the long, hot dry summer.  I'll spare you the details but it was pretty rough because I have a really big sense of what the least of these are dealing with and it ain't good.  At all.  

Project 2025 is now in full force.  It has been bait and switch from the get go but, girl please.  Things are not normal here in the USA.  The government is shut down because MAGA republicans refuse to negotiate on basic things like affordable healthcare.  As a retired healthcare provider, this is something I consider "not acceptable." Republicans wereo told by speaker Mike Johnson to take a paid vacation and not talk to the other party about the matter at hand.  Millions of Americans will lose affordable healthcare with the current big beautiful bill as it stands.  In some respect, I believe that is exactly the plan.  Genocide by attrition if you will.  Can't afford to see the doctor?  Just go ahead and die so the regime won't have to mess with you. I retired at the age of 62 because of multiple health problems, including two bad shoulders, even after surgery.  They wore out on me early because I'm a farm girl and did a lot of digging and hauling back in the day.  Plus all that repetitive motion in a semi-automated clinical lab at our local hospital.  After 41.5 years and a lot of mental stress at the end, my body gave up.  I was literally forced to slow down.  My daddy retired from the federal government at the age of 55 with a nice package because of those years of service.  Those perks are no more.  He was a USDA employee for decades pushing pins into a map to track various pests that destroyed local crops.  At the end of his career, he was traveling a lot because of meeting Cuban refugees at a Florida facility to inspect what they brought in plant wise.  The local office shut down and he managed to get a family friend to take his place which was mainly at the Memphis airport.  Times change and terms expire.

If you dig deeper than the main stream media, we are in deep shit here.  Trump's entire cabinet exists solely to implement the policies of Russ Vought, et al.  Flood the zone with nonsense like military parades in front of an absent audience.  The tariffs that he put in place willy nilly are killing the market for American farmers because our biggest customer buys elsewhere, Meanlike from Argentina and Brazil.  Meanwhile, the departments of war and racism spend billions of dollars on ICE recruitment bonuses for unqualified recruits to rappel onto rooftops and zip tie people based on race.  Jesus wept.

I must admit that most of my information now comes from podcasters on YouTube because I make my own decisions in a non-partisan ways.  I believe that DJT is an old white con man who is not aware of anything other than his opportunities to flex and see himself on TV.  The department of war has gone global, and the rest of the world hates our country.  Foreign leaders have moved on from even listening to him and the dribble.  Instead, they walk away and go to Plan B.  If there is peace in Gaza, Trump will claim that he ended war number 10.  Not on day one, mind you.  As daddy said "Jane, it will always be thus and so."  A biblical reference for sure.  And also "Leave room for the spirit to work."  That is a hard lesson to learn, but well worth the patience.

I have not seen baby Reaves in a hot minute and she is coming to visit tomorrow, Lord willing.  She is not a baby anymore but a thriving 8 year old who has a lot of spirit and and spunk.  Thus far, it has taken a village to raise her.  That's pretty cool in my book ^j^

death to democracy

I don't about y'all but I am pretty scared about everything in our country right now.  I see no hope for us average hard working people the way things are going at the moment.  We are dispensable to the current administration.  All of us except for the boot lickers and rich people.  Comedy is what restores my soul and will to live.

I have to admit that I was not aware of what is in Project 2025 until it became a reality.  Yep...we are neck deep in the project.  I did what I thought was right and exercised my right to vote for the lesser of two iffy candidates and my vote didn't count.  Still doesn't.  Living in a red state that invited National Guard protection for a major city in West Tennessee.  Black and blue mayor, mind you. Memphis is also where Musk has built data centers that pollute and poison the entire area.   There's your AI up close and personal.  The entire concept of freedom is taken away by that technology.  Manipulation online,such as that is great bait for those who have no personal beliefs and eat up the disinformation. As my 3rd grade teacher would say "think for yourself and say the pledge of allegiance." We all did back then, but times are different now.  I feel no allegiance to the current leadership.  I wish I didn't know what is going on and living in blissful ignorance like so many.

Today's dictator of the week is Brendan Carr, an author of one piece of the media takeover in the project.  There has been so much hostility surrounding the death of a MAGA influencer that many compare to Jesus.  Personally, my Jesus don't like that.  But then again my Jesus is a peace loving dude who stands for peace, love, acceptance and inclusion.  None of that is happening right now.

I watched Jimmy Kimmel's clip that caused him to be fired.  He said nothing about Kirk personally.  His take was on the fact that the POTUS is using that death to his own advantage. That is not hate speech ...it is an opinion .  I happen to agree with it.

If you appreciate the freedom that we have, please put the partisan shit aside and reach across the aisle to someone who believes differently than you.  Dialogue with those who choose to attack your beliefs.  Think about the rest of us if you dare.  Speaking of Jesus, that's what he would do. Plus a miracle or five.  That is truly what we need right now ^j^