Friday, November 30, 2018

spirit in the sky

I'm glad I got to see my buddy Sam before he passed over to the angels early this morning.  He has been a father figure to Lauren and Reaves since the get go and fought a long hard battle with cancer.  Arrangements are "incomplete" as they say in the business.  The service will be in Decaturville.  

I went to yoga this morning and loved it.  I'm still wobbly and have to improvise but will not give up because my body needs it.  My feet also need new tennis shoes, just saying.  These Brooks have served me well but they're a year old.  

No politics today, whatsoever.  I'm just gonna' get some popcorn and watch the show play out.  It's a great relief to be done with the angst because it's out of my hands.  It will be what it will be no matter how I feel.  What bothers me the very most is the way every time Trump is criticized, Obama and Hillary come up.  They are out of the picture and not relevant to what is happening right now.  As God is my witness, if Trump will just go away I'll never speak ill of him again.  Because he will be the past.

I hope you're having a fabulous Friday with a wonderful weekend coming up.  The days all run together for me, personally and I like it that way.  Each new day brings an adventure.

Compromise ~

Thursday, November 29, 2018

passionate advocate

Unless you have been a caregiver at any level, you cannot imagine the commitment involved.  A true advocate sticks with a client through whatever system is being explored by someone who doesn't have a clue what's what.  They are everywhere and heroes who don't know it yet.  I was fortunate to work in a setting where I knew all the medical professionals personally and they guided me to do the next right thing for my parents.  

I visited a friend in the hospital today and saw a lot of familiar faces.  Mandy said she gets a kick out of Ellie loping like a bunny of deer in the fields.  She's learned to stay off the road, most of the time.  

Lauren is much better today as she is a warrior woman like all the other Reaves girls.  She's feeling good enough to be bored, if you know what I mean.

I spy with my little eye a shit load of trouble coming Trump's way.  Two breaking news thingies in one day?  Ummm.  What is Plan B?  It will be interesting to watch things unfold.  This presidency has been like a reality show where the cast changes constantly.  You're fired!  His election was not surprising, but all the crap that has happened since is.  He has fostered an agenda of hate for years and those roots continue to grow.  He is a gazillionare with tax troubles and people singing like my great grandma's canaries.  

The smoke detector in the attic continues to beep because I can't reach it to change the battery.  Sometimes it sucks to be your own keeper.  I have somehow managed to kill the tree lights so it's just a big green thing sitting there being non-magical.  That's okay.  I tried.  

Noel ~~


Wednesday, November 28, 2018

randomly bittersweet

Today was back on 412 day to check on Lauren's progress post-op.  She's hurting but it's only been two days.  Tomorrow should be the worst of it.  She's religious with the ice and a friend is giving her pain meds at the appointed time.  She gets around well on crutches and a friend of hers and I helped her wash her hair in the sink and do a ho' bath.  The worst part is not being able to take care of Reaves.  She is being passed around among the tribe.  My presence allowed them some time together today which she has sorely missed.  They both started crying when I took her back to Auntie Erica but she went straight to Bo's hip.  

I was sitting outside while they were sleeping and heard a very distraught young lady down the way on the phone.  I figured it was Sam's daughter so I went down and introduced myself.  We talked about how hard it is to provide hospice care at home and what a toll it takes on the family.  She vented and I just listened and hugged.  Granny Jo was inside so I got to see her and I snuck into Sam's room to tell him I loved him and kissed his forehead.  I think he knew.  

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

another world

I did my job today and enjoyed every minute of it.  My client is a lovely woman who knows me and my family well.  Her face lit up as I told her tale after tale of my life and laughed about it.  Most of it wasn't funny at the time, ya know?  Time heals most wounds where you can accept what is and be happy with life.

Lauren sailed through surgery like I knew she would.  Her friend sent me a picture from recovery with a thumbs up.  I'm going to see her tomorrow.  Sick girls need their mamas.  

I am kind of surprised at the number of Christians who are all behind Trump and the border skirmish.  Teargas?  Just no.  I don't care if there's some criminals in there only that kids are getting caught in the middle of the situation.  Bless their little hearts, they come from so little that they really do think the US is the promised land.  If only they knew.  For all of you Christ like people out there who fret about them entering our country, consider who our partner is in this.  Yeah.  Esteban and his bunch. 

GM announced a 15% cut in their workforce and flatly stated that they had warned our POTUS et al how the tariffs would affect their business.  That's a lot of jobless people, folks.  Meanwhile the Hand Maids mock Melania and make me LOL.  Whomever came up with that image is pure genius.  I love people who "get it."  

Over and out ~

Monday, November 26, 2018


I woke up around 8 and rolled back over.  Next thing I knew it was 1030.  I reckon I was making up for lost sleep from my overnight stay.  Lauren should be in surgery for her knee by now.  Her sponsor is with her and will be by her side to transition her to recovery.  I'm glad she will be out of pain.  The plans are to do a block before surgery which is what they did with my last shoulder.  That lasts for about 24 hours through the worst of the pain.  Reaves will be with her daddy for a couple of nights because umm....she would hard to handle on crutches.  

Lauren's dressing got cooked yesterday and it was just what I needed.  I didn't get nearly enough on Thanksgiving.  It tasted just like my Mom's.  I drug the tree out of the attic last night but it's still half lit and will stay that way until I figure out the wiring.  If I get one of those little Snoopy trees from Kroger I may just push it to the side.  No rush.  It's not even December yet.

As I was going through boxes I found a letter from my friend Cindy from 1971 that she had sent to me from a very strict college in Florida.  She was managing to have fun in spite of it.  Lord, the tales we could tell.  

I am 4 days away from payday #1 and still not in the hole, last I looked.  I will have to go there to renew car insurance and Netflix will probably hit but I'm making baby steps.  The dogs were raising hell and I went out to find my annual Simpson pecan crew, minus Bubba.  Ain't much there guys but have at it.  

It's mighty cold to be crawling around in the leaves but I've done it myself for many years.  Tomorrow will be a hard freeze and the rest of what's there should fall.  

More later.  Love ya....mean it.  

Sunday, November 25, 2018

kingdom come

Yesterday was play day with Reaves and of course, she was full of herself.  She even said grammaw for the first time with a little coaching.  Lauren was cooking a double batch of Mama Staff's dressing so she sent me home with a pan ready to cook.  I can eat on that for days.  That baby was so tired she fell asleep in my lap without a bottle.  She's hooked on soft fuzzy things and wanted to be wrapped up and held in what KayKay gave her.  Her eyes are as big as the eyes on that softie.  She napped awhile, had a mama fit and went to sleep in my lap again.  It's so tiring going full throttle like she does!

I got back to the burg in time to feed the dogs and head on over for a sleepover with a new client.  That won't be a usual thing but a transitional one.  We had Thanksgiving leftovers and chatted then turned in early.  I slept like a baby until she woke up this morning at sunrise.  She told me never to say anything about her on FB just like my Mama did so mum's the word.
I found my way up to church for Christ the King Sunday which I didn't even know was a "thing" on the Christian calendar.  I learn something new every time I go.  Delores is my go to seat mate and her hub is usually multitasking with SS teaching and ushering.  Every hymn we sang today was one that reminded me of my parents and my heritage there.  Roots are good.  One lady told me that the older I get the more I look like my mother.   I take that as a compliment because she aged very well.  She was not a sun worshiper like me so she had fewer wrinkles.  

The wind is howling right now in advance of a cold front but it's warm.  Duck hunters everywhere are rejoicing and their dogs retrieving.  Tis the season.  Y'all try not to buy too much stuff this year for the holidays.  I can't afford to but even if YOU can just remember those who have nothing and act accordingly.  It's what Jesus would do.  

Joy ~

Friday, November 23, 2018

black friday

I would not go NEAR a store today even if I needed something right damn now.  I consider my gas at 2.19 a serious shopping score.  What I read today said that a lot of hedge funds lost a bundle betting on the price riding high like it did in October.  They also noted that the entire global economy depends on the price of oil.  That's some scary shit.  No wonder it jumps up and down so much.  It's all being played like a game of poker and the Middle Eastern countries have the aces.  You know, like our friends in Saudi Arabia where they lure and kill American journalists then cut 'em up in pieces.  Lerd.

Today is mine to blow and I started it out with Natalie's yoga.  I'm still very wobbly but making baby steps.  I have trouble with my balance on the one arm or leg things but I can do warrior and up dog/down dog like a pro.  One of my classmates brought her daughters and it was nice to have some young'uns  in the tribe.  Natalie shared a Melody Beattie book with  me which I will devour.  

The closest I got to retail was the pharmacy for BP meds and a consultation with Kevin.  It's so nice when merchants will go above and beyond to save you money.  That means they are good people trying to do the next right thing.  Air Evac just flew over , or else the Army.  I can never really tell.  Usually the Army is louder and lower.  Farmer Joey is finishing up the beans ahead of an overnight rain.  

Tomorrow is Small Business Saturday and even though I don't have shopping money, I will support my favorites with my presence and take a few pics.  Small home town businesses are the backbone of America and our only alternative to big box import stores.  If you ever see me at Target fighting over towels you'll know I've lost it.

My clever neighbor brought a meal from his family's dinner and got a real kick out of the note he included which from old Trump himself, thanking me for my support.  Funny stuff.   As I have stated, John Roberts is my new hero for standing up to the POTUS.  And of course, he's getting tweeted to death.  

Now about that little missionary.  I'm sure that Jesus called you to convert those 15 people of that little off limits isolated tribe.  Having a Bible does not protect you from arrows.  At some point, common sense has to prevail for you to spread the Gospel.  Are you a martyr?  Most certainly.  And now your ability to spread the Word has ended.  Very sad.  

I ate like a piggie last night consuming leftovers from two different places.  I've lost about 10 pounds so it's all good.  I don't diet.  Just eat what I want when I'm hungry.  I'm a big on multiple small meals.  I start a new chapter with a client tomorrow, one who is near and dear to my heart.  I'm sure we'll have plenty to talk about.

Namaste ~

Thursday, November 22, 2018

turkey madness

O.M.G.  Imagine, if you will, an intimate Thanksgiving meal with about 300 people.  That's what happens when you go to Cracker Barrel.  If I had not gotten there early, we would still be waiting on a table for two.  Our waitress was beyond precious and she got a fat tip for her kindness.  When I left there were vehicles parked up the sides of the access road because there was no place in the lot.  I got the last one at 1045.  Bubba got off at 11 and he was one of those parked on the road.  That place is loud as all get out.  We don't do crowds well, either of us.

He bought up some "must sell now" turkeys and gave me one to freeze for whatever occasion comes up.  Working at Kroger has its' advantages when things go on clearance.  Employees are the first to know.  Not only does he run the fuel center he also shops there on Sunday morning, like clockwork.  I did notice that the manager of the chicken store was working like a normal employee today with only one other to help.  Normally they are running around there like chickens with their heads cut off.  Today was quiet.  

It's warm and sunny and the bean cutting is STILL going on.  Bless their hearts, what a year.  

Wishing you many leftovers ^j^

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

twas the day before thanksgiving

Back in the day I would be knee deep in food preparation but not this year.  I had forgotten that my 87 year old cousin named Connie from Utah was planning a road trip (yikes) to here and Florida for Thanksgiving.  He called today to say he made it as far as Santa Fe and ended up in the hospital.  I was worried about him making the trip, to say the least.  "Maybe next year" he said.  What an eternal optimist.  He always sends me cards for every occasion and mails them to Bubba's house.  It's a ritual.  

The doctor was tickled to death that I brought my own lab results and said that it made his day!  He thanked me over and over again.  All looked well according to him so he actually gave me a year's worth of refills!  My BP was 168/70 which is a constant conundrum with me.  When I take the med to bring the top number down it knocks the bottom one down to walking through quick sand mode.  There's got to be a happy medium.  I missed exercise today so the dogs and I took a hike down the hill and back.  Even when I'm walking, I focus on my breathing.  

My next writing assignment is due in January so I have plenty of time to get pictures and more interviews.  My dumb ass went for the initial interview at the sheriff's department with no memory card in the camera.  Duh.  What can I say.  It was a blonde moment even though I'm auburn now.  

I am thankful for so many things I could not begin to list them all.  My heart is full with gratitude for the people who have stuck with me and mine during the hard times and celebrated the good ones.  I feel at peace most of the time which is a blessing in itself.  Letting go of control does a spirit good.

On my way to church Sunday I noticed a perfect cross in the clear blue sky made from jet trails.  I took it as a sign that I was headed where I needed to go and that blessings would arrive, which they did.  My faith needed that boost.  

Y'all don't eat too much and PLEASE don't have salad.  That E Coli strain in the romaine is wicked.  It has been linked to contaminated canal water somewhere or another.  Meanwhile, Ivanka did the same thing that HRC did only according to Daddy it's "different."  Um.  Okay then.

Gobble Gobble!

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

el grande

I met with my friends at the new and improved Los Portales and we had a ball as usual laughing and giggling over the stupidest little things.  Carol brought me home and I gave her the ten cent tour of Calcutt Farms which includes a spot where her parents had a house at one time.  We think it was either before she was born or else she was a baby.  Mr Neely and Joey's bunch are still cutting beans.  

In spite of being thankful for the trusty old Camry, it was nice to drive both a Jeep and an Avalon in two days.  Gave me car fever bad!  One of these days my luck is gonna' run out on that hooptie of mine.   Fingers crossed and prayers up.  Since it's Novemblah# we haven't seen the sun in days.  I just got off the phone with Reaves and sang her a Christmas song.  She and Lauren were curled up with Elsa.

I go to the clinic in the morning, lab results in hand, to get my prescription refills.  Every three months, ya' know.  I've also not been taking the BP medicine to see what it runs now that I'm exercising.  I probably still need it but we shall see.  Progress rather than perfection.  It's a process.

Oh and beware.  If somebody texts you asking how long to mircowave a turkey it's a joke du jour.  Lauren sent it to me and I totally got it.  LMFAO.  My reply was two years. Mamye has come and gone after a much needed visit.  All is well with the world ^j^

Monday, November 19, 2018

dyersburg buddies

As of yesterday post church I had nothing on the calendar for today.  That all changed in a heartbeat and I was set for an adventure that was quite a pleasant experience.  Working as a personal attendant to someone who is honest and open about where they're at is pretty rewarding.  I saw a lot of familiar faces here there and yonder.  And I drove a decent vehicle way out in the boonies to hook up with this guy.  He was so appreciative of what his family had done for him.  

On my way back to the 'burg I stopped just before Roellen to visit Heather and Nanny.  They were entertaining two toddlers in a bedroom both of whom wanted Nanny's lap.  Jealous baby boys!  Heifer is my daughter from another mother and she's here for turkey week.  Yo...Bubba.  See you at Cracker Barrel.  

I have tomorrow free and plan to eat me some mexican fiesta bowl with friends.  And cheese dip.  And conversation and laughter!  We try not to talk Trump during these meals.  It's totally girl time.  

Sunday, November 18, 2018

come ye thankful people come

That is one of my favorite traditional hymns and it always reminds me of my parents. The entire service today was uplifting and hopeful.  As every good Methodist knows it is stewardship month and though I'm not in a position to pledge for the budget, I give what I can when I can.  The good Lord knows where I'm at.  

I hear a plane overhead enjoying the sunny afternoon.  That's a soothing sound to me and one that I recognize with pleasure.  Not like the army helicopters and air evac.  I've also heard gun shots which I assume is a deer hunter which is hard to get permission for.  Ducks come in season next week.  I'm reaching out to others for training tips for Ellie.  My friend lives on a lake where she could easily test the waters.  Gotta work on that stick retrieving first.  Then we'll see if she floats.  She will never be a hunting dog but I want her to enjoy the water like labs do.  Ain't nothing happier than a lab swimming, just saying.  

Years ago we would take Faith and Beau down to the riverbed and let them play in the mud.  Those were the years that I learned the lay of this land on a four wheeler.  Prior to that, I knew nothing about how the river runs and the sloughs.  The banks of the river are sandy and hilly but there's a beautiful view from up there.  I saw turkey tracks in the nearby fields and a beaver dam. 

That is when I claimed my redneck southern liberal snowflake self and enjoyed life for once.  Exploring is cool, especially when you have a vehicle.  I'm not much on walking all the way there, ya know?  

Give thanks for one new thing every day ~ Patti Lou Parker


Saturday, November 17, 2018

wild child

Reaves was running wide open when I got there today and never stopped until I left.  Lauren went to a meeting and then we cleaned the living room and I put her tree together.  They were running on a tight schedule because they were due for a birthday party but by the time we got her all decked out she was cranky for a nap and not giving it up.  I ran into horrific traffic on the way OUT of Jackson presumably because both the by-pass and S Highland were both closed.  They're doing some kind of roundabout thing downtown.  Beware of Country Club Lane exit going west.  It was backed up a loooooong way.''

I took the singing Christmas clock over for Lauren and Reaves to enjoy and she grinned ear to ear when she heard it.  She likes to be read to, and to be sung to.  She gave me her little uke and I did a carol or two to her delight.  We played hard for three hours.  She was learning the "nono" of the tree lights when I left.  Her table and chairs are set up right next to the tree.

First thing when I got there Lauren told me that her neighbor and father figure Sam is coming home from the VA on hospice.  She calls him Pops and he has literally taken the place of her late father right down to adoring Reaves.  We both sobbed and clung together in grief.  He's a one of a kind guy whom I am blessed to call friend.  I am glad that he will be at home among his tribe at the end.

Grace and peace to you and yours ~


Friday, November 16, 2018

the cost of living

I try not to whine about finances a lot but the truth is for most retired folks it's like working a puzzle to figure out how to pay the bills.  The income is fixed and prices keep going up.  Even at that, I feel blessed to even have an income.  My money management skills are poor and always have been.  If I had contributed to the company sponsored 401K over the years I would kinda' sorta' have that, though their stock isn't worth much these days.  Last time I looked it was hovering around 4.50 from a high of 60 two years prior. A lot of people lost a lot of money. That is because the company took on WAY too much debt buying up every little thing they could find and merging with HMA.  There was much restructuring and selling off.  Dyersburg, Martin and Jackson were sold this year right after I was officially retired.  I visited my peeps up in there today and got lots of hugs.  They seem content with the status quo.  That was just a really crappy last year for me, if you know what I mean.  Water under the bridge.  

We used to have tons of primary care physicians around here.  Now there is a handful with FNPs doing the bulk of the work.  They usually know more anyway, just saying.  High five to Kelly, Leigh Ann,  Lisa, Brad and all you other troopers on the front lines.  Healthcare must return to rural roots mentality and move away from big pharm for the sake of patients.  Just because the good insurance is there, don't use it for diagnostics that are not necessary every three months.  Don't charge a stable, reliable and compliant patient for a visit every three months just to get refills.  Enough.

I have a big mouth which we all know.  Healthcare was and always will be my passion because I'm such a little nurturer.  If insurance companies and big pharm were throttled down, universal healthcare could be a reality.  I paid out the ass for 40 years to get company sponsored insurance and find myself in that gap between can't work that job and Medicare.  The marketplace has been good to me this year but my deductible goes up by a thousand bucks in 2019.  Do I wish I was 65 so I would qualify for Medicare?  No.  That would be stupid.  I just hope it's still there when I get there.  I paid for it.

I can hear metal being crunched down the road at the scrapyard where I take cans.  Unfortunately that is the only recycling available here.  I've got glass stacked up from here to next year waiting for Dyer County Recycles to get up and running.  It's a long uphill battle for them like with most non-profits.  Today has been glorious to say the least.  It was warm enough for me to clean the car up a bit and not wear a coat.  I'll take it any day over the snow. 

I hope Reaves remembers me.  It's been awhile, ya' know?  I think their tree is going up soon because Lauren will be having knee surgery right after Thanksgiving.  I'm sure there's a Norman Rockwell for that kind of Christmas!

Thankful ~

Thursday, November 15, 2018

dilemma of the day

I have to watch ATT  to make sure they draft my payment arrangements so as to not get cut off over and over.  I made one for internet on the 14th and noticed today that it did not go through.  Again.  I didn't have a bill available but I called customer service to make sure I was not going to be cut off.  I thought I knew the account number by heart but it was nowhere to be found in the "system"  by the rep that I spoke with.  I should seriously learn to use their app, and I will if I don't get cut off first.  The struggle is real with these folks.  

My friends gifted me with a cut and color at their salon just because they love me and know I'm broke.  How awesome is that?  My spirits certainly needed a lift and Marla did her magic as usual.  As if on cue, a new walk in customer appeared as I was leaving.  That's karma at work.  When you give from the heart with no expectations, you receive.  

The snow went as quick as it came with just a small amount on the ground and trees left.  I saw two kids building a mini-snowman in their yard as I passed by, bless their hearts.  I feel sure they'll get another chance later.  I mean it ain't even winter yet for another month.  My car door opened without deicer this morning, thank you Lord.  I went by the Damascus thrift store to add my name to their yearly letter for support to donors.  That ministry has a place in my heart for a lot of reasons.  

Ellie was quite curious about the snow because I suppose she's never seen it.  She ran around like the puppy that she is exploring the foreign white stuff.  I have ceased to try keeping her from following me down the lane because she has to learn where home is.  She was waiting in the yard when I got back today.  

No negative thoughts today.  I'm just going with the flow and happy to be alive.  The universe will take care of all the chaos and hatred.  Not my job.  All I can do is the next right thing.


Wednesday, November 14, 2018

take a deep breath

One of the things I love most about yoga is the concentration on breathing.  So many times we take shallow breaths and practicing yoga helps to focus on taking deliberate breaths in and out during moves.  I had errands to get done before the "wintry mix" hit so I skipped the core and bought 50 lbs of dog food which I now cannot unload without help.  Then I met a couple of friends for lunch and the ice started falling pretty steady.  Snow, I can handle unless it's 8 inches.  Ice is a whole 'nother story.  That is how I tore my subscapularis tendon in half four years ago.  I heard it snap as i hit the icy parking lot.  

While we were having lunch I got to visit with a couple of other dear friends whom I have not seen in eons.  Jere T and Aleece and I chatted at length before I hit the road. School was let out early and I heard that the grocery stores were a madhouse.  Probably not a loaf of bread to be had anywhere.

A Christmas miracle has appeared and I will be getting a cut and color tomorrow compliments of Headlines.  Lord, I go all the way back with this bunch.  This came, as if by magic, when I was at my lowest point yesterday.  I love it when that happens.  

Plans are for me to go to Jackson on Saturday to see my girls.  This, without the driving glasses that Ellie ate.  At least the weather should be nice by then.  

Y'all all stay merry and bright.  And keep the faith ^j^


Tuesday, November 13, 2018

let it snow?

Honey, please.  Normally Thanksgiving time around these parts is warmish as in autumnal weather.  We have fast forwarded to a chance of snow tomorrow and Thursday.  WTF.  This is paranormal even by Tennessee standards.  There was a bit of sleet on the porch and car this morning but nothing big.  While I was at the 'gentral I picked up some deicer just in case.  Lord, I wish I had a garage.  There is nothing worse than trying to get an old car unfrozen.  That's how I lost both door handles.  

Holidays have turned into non events for me.  I suppose that working so many of them have numbed me to "the day."  I plan to eat with my brother on Thanksgiving and other than that who knows.  What used to be traditional annual family gatherings have gone by the wayside.  I know, that sounds really grinchy.  Being broke has a lot to do with it too.  I miss my girls.  A lot.  Maybe watching Christmas movies would help.  

Reaves is at the age where she'll probably either be scared to death of Santa or giggle like a maniac.  50/50.  If I know her she'll pull his beard and glasses.  She'll get lots of toys but not much from her broke old grandma.  That's okay because it's about joy not things.  Might as well learn that early!  

My mother gave me a book one year called A Stranger for Christmas which was about a family taking in an elderly person for the holiday to join their family.  It's in the stack of Christmas stuff and I will read it again, including my mother's hand written words.  She absolutely loved it....she and Daddy both.  

I know from experience that the firsts after the death of a loved one are the worst.  Christmas.  Birthday. Mother's Day. Etc.  I have albums on top of albums where my mom documented every occasion that we celebrated.  Once my brother Bubba was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia on his cold January birthday.  Things happen and we end up where we least expect to be.

After being pissed off yesterday, I'm kind of misty this morning.  If I'm lucky I have 20 years left to live and deal with declining health.  I try not to dwell on that and focus on today and the blessings I have.  The only good thing I can say about the cold weather is that the bugs are dying and the kudzu too.  

My biggest fear is drowning or burning alive.  My heart goes out to the folks in California for their devastating losses.  The deforestation is bound to make things so much worse in an already ravaged state.  I read that the Republican congressional candidate in Arizona has conceded before the recount is complete.  The ploy behind this is for her to replace John McCain in the Senate.  There's always an end game.  

I had forgotten what havoc cold weather plays on arthritis but have been reminded of late.  Thank you Ibuprofen.  


Monday, November 12, 2018

rainy days and mondays

I should know better than to read the news because it infuriates me.  In one morning, I've read two stories that makes it all seem ass backwards.  As troops are deployed to the border to put up barbed wire for the "invasion" the Department of Veteran's affairs is not paying vets for housing and education as agreed, so many of them are homeless.  Trump is running his mouth 24/7 doing everything he can to polarize the country.  I imagine he is scared of what's gonna' happen with the new Congress.  He has stretched his powers way beyond the limits of the Constitution on more than one issue including the dismissal of Sessions and Rosenstein.  And that's just ONE example.  It makes me literally sick.   I do not understand those who blindly follow him.  It's like a cult.

And the fires rage on in California.  Not climate change, of course.  Neither are the extreme deviations in weather patterns world wide.  Those who deny are a part of the cult because science ( remember that subject? ) has proven time and time again that global warming is real and causing climate change.  I remember hearing that 20 years ago and not really grasping the reality of it.  

These are dangerous times.  When white supremacy is accepted as the norm and embraced by so many, it pits us against each other.  There is no chance for peace or compromise with these people nor with Trump.  A friend sent me an article about a fundamentalist pastor who has proclaimed that yoga is "of the devil."  The poses are designed to open up to evil spirits, yada yada.  All I can do is shake my head.  

There's a dead skunk on Samaria Bend which I have carefully navigated twice this morning knowing from experience what happens when you run over one.  Ellie still has a faint odor of skunk stink.  I spoke with someone about a prospective client today and she was brutally honest about the job which I declined because of lifting.  I have to baby these shoulders, for real.  

Otherwise, it's all unicorns and rainbows.  Day by day I count my blessings as I see what people are suffering with.  I'm pretty much alone in this world family wise except for my brothers, two cousins, and Lauren and Reaves.  That is more than many have so I am blessed.  In addition I have a lot of friends looking out for me.  We do welfare checks and compare bank balances and whatnot.  It ain't pretty a lot of times, but it is what it is and we have to stick together.  It takes a village.

My daughter posted something about emotional sobriety which rang true with me.  All good points about self awareness and letting go of the past.  Owning your own emotional issues and not blaming are key.  There have been times in my life where I've played the victim with academy award winning angst.  I am not a victim at all, just a product of my own choices.  

I also read a piece about the emotional toll on the pathologists who do autopsies on mass shooting victims and the horror that they take home with them from the job.  These shooting VICTIMS are truly a sign of our times and they are becoming more and more commonplace.  Never forget.

Suppression of the MSM is dangerous to say the least.  Jim Acosta is a prime example.  The man asked straightforward honest questions and had his White House press credentials taken away.  Sounds like he was baited into it.  Just another way to get rid of somebody who doesn't idolize the POTUS.

I haven't been on a rant in a long while so this is my day to vent.  I still see lots of goodness in the world as we cling to each other through the hard times and I try to hold that thought but I know too much to play Pollyanna.  Sometimes I wish I was oblivious to it all.  

Peace and grace to you and yours ~

Sunday, November 11, 2018

heavy lifting

My friend Larry gave me some second hand wicker furniture that he picked up on the side of the road.  He graciously offered it to me so Bubba and Sally and I went to load it up and bring it to Casa Poops this afternoon.  It sounds like the cabin is months or years away from being finished so I brought it here.  Hell, I could die before that restoration is done.  He bitched at me about Ellie chasing vehicles which I can't stop.  She's still a puppy and loves to run.  

I didn't think Trump could outdo himself but he did with the tweet about the CA fires being due to poor forestry management.  Why send aid?  Puleeeeez.  This country is coming apart at the seams, literally, due to global warming which he firmly denies.  Enough about him.  I'm ready for Mueller to get it done.  There is too much to ignore here in addition to collusion.  Like money laundering and such.  Of course SNL had a cold open sketch featuring a Sessions goodbye.  

So, today's surprise is that I got two scam calls from MY OWN number today and customer service is closed.  I'm not sure what all that is about.  Has it happened to anybody else?  I answered the second one and picked up immediately that it was a scammer wanting my account info.  Damn these people!

I'm kind of giddy that they're recounting votes in Florida.  Never go down easy, ever.  Especially when Rick Scott is involved.  

My friend Teresa has turned the corner with her illness and is off the vent and doing much better.  I tore a chunk out of my hand while moving the wicker so there is a new wound to tend to.  My strength ain't what it used to be.  The chaise lounge is still sitting on the porch because I can't get it through the door without help.  

Y'all hang in there.  It will get better ^j^

Saturday, November 10, 2018

open house

I've never been one to go to Christmas open houses because I'm always broke and it hurts me to not be able to buy.  Today was different because I am totally committed to Downtown Dyersburg economic growth and development. South Mill Street is at the epicenter of this and a couple of friends, in particular, along with the Chamber are responsible for making this happen.  There is activity there now where formerly there was "not much."  Kudos to Chris and Mike and Charli for being a part of it.  

I can tell I worked out yesterday plus it's really like, uh cold.  Typical Tennessee.  Three weeks ago it was 90.  Now, it's 50 on a good day.  Meh.  What happened to autumn??

I was gonna' go see a movie today alone but decided to save the five bucks for something else.  Gotta' weigh your options, right?  Lauren is now on the phone again and we had a nice chat today.  How in the world did we ever manage without smart phones?  I'll admit, I'm chained to mine.  Not only are there calls to be taken but there are pictures to be taken.  

I am keenly aware of the value of community these days.  So much is so wrong that if we don't stick together we're screwed.  There is no room for negativity and back biting or blaming.  It was what it was so if you let the past hold your spirit back, it's on you. Look for a way to become free.  

I am thankful for you ^j^

Friday, November 9, 2018

expanded horizons

I cannot tell a lie.  It took me nine months to get over leaving a lifelong career and shoulder surgery to get to the point where I can actually plan things and have a life outside of this house.  I slept a lot during those months, recharging my tired old body but not really rehabbing it after I stopped MFR with Gay.  I started by having lunch with friends and doing one thing different every day.  Truth be known, I was finding out who I really am.  It's about time at 63.

I'm a mother and grandmother of course.  Those girls are my heart even though I don't see them much.  Thank goodness for Facebook!  Speaking of which, Lauren should get her new phone today to replace the one she left on top of the car and ran over.  UCMTSU.  I did that with my wallet one time and luckily it was still there when I went back.  

I have many friends.  Some of them are new and others old as dirt.  I learned long ago that friends are in your life regularly for a certain season but they're still friends as time passes and you don't spend as much time together.  The bond is always there.  

I've always been a writer and being unemployed gave me time to explore my talents.  I became a staff writer for a periodical which is a long story so I digress.  That experience has given me confidence as a writer outside of Pecan Lane.  I have explored write for pay sites on the innerwebs and that's a lot of stuff to wade through but I've touched base with a few.  We shall see.  

Lately my journey has taken me to a physical fitness spot with customized training from instructors who love what they do.  Amy and Natalie are the bomb!  I'm sore a lot but I feel my body strengthening.  

I'm learning to take care of household details in a somewhat timely fashion.  Today I replaced the heat lamp and threw a concrete block on top of the pump house.  I'ts dripping faucets time in Tennessee.  I love to read but have gotten into that social media thing where you don't actually allow down time.  I got a new library card today and picked up a Janet Evanovich that I have not read.  Stephanie is my hero. Oh, and Lula of course.

If you are a House of Cards fan I won't do a spoiler but I will say that the ending was, though predictable, very disturbing.  Shhhhhh.  

Joy ~

Thursday, November 8, 2018

when tennis shoes die

You can pretty much tell when it's time.  The support isn't there like it used to be.  I've been shopping online for Black Friday deals for Brooks and Sketchers.  I bought the Launch that I'm wearing almost a year ago and they lasted longer than usual because I haven't been pounding the concrete halls of the hospital.  Now that I'm in an exercise class, I need something new.  Sketchers are cheaper, by a long shot.  

Freezing temps are on the way so buh bye kudzu.  The heat lamp in my pump house is broken so I made a trip to Lowe's for a replacement and hit up Sonic at the same time.  Also the 'gentral for cat litter.  I am animal poor.  

My friend remains in critical condition and it's a wait and see game.  She has a large circle of friends and family who are worried and praying ^j^.  Hang in there sister :)

Soooo....Sessions and Rosenstein are history and Mueller is getting ready to pull the trigger.  It gives me little comfort to think of the possibility of Pence as president with a Republican Senate majority.  Meanwhile some fool with a Glock committed mass murder and then shot himself.  I am clueless as to what the resolution is to this when nobody is willing to make the changes necessary.  If mental health is the issue, tighten that control.  From what I understand this dude was an active duty Marine for several years.  Never underestimate PTSD and the danger of putting a gun in someone's arsenal.  

Mental health is in crisis and has been for several years because of all that we have experienced.  The system, for the most part, is for profit and is actually reached only by those who realize they have a problem.  There's a lot of drugs involved yet mental  health issues are at the root of most addictions.  Co-occurring disease, if you will.  Hey...i'm almost a social worker too!

My yoga instructor brought up Melody Beattie yesterday and I immediately felt her.  The Language of Letting Go is my favorite book of all time.  She reads them religiously like I did at her age.  I should probably go to the library and get that one for a refresher course.  

Stay warm.  Don't worry, be happy :)

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

minute by minute

The exercise classes that I'm a part of are a real challenge.  I'm doing 45 minutes of yoga with Natalie Burks Patterson followed by an hour of core and strength training with Amy Carroll.  They have helped me to customize my practice and target areas like the weak shoulders.  There was somebody new there today and she was totally kicking ass.  I learned the hard way doing aerobics years ago that you have to pace yourself to avoid injury.  

My friend Teresa is in surgery right now to treat a brain aneurysm.  Y'all keep her the fam lifted up, umkay?  That perky little candidate that I stuffed envelopes for WON her race by a very small margin.  I'm ecstatic for her, to say the least.  Seven of the eight alderpeople are new.  A new day in Dyersburg!!

As for the Tennessee election, no surprises there.  The opiate queen devil beat Bredesen.  Nationwide, Dems took the House but the Senate remains GOP.  At least there's a chance for balance there, ya think?


Tuesday, November 6, 2018

V day

I slept in kinda' sorta' in between letting dogs in and out.  They wake up when it's daylight and want to go roam.  Then they want back in for a snuggle.  There were errands to run and whatnot.  I got a call from Mamye as I was leaving the insurance agent's office ( thanks Brian Hinson ) and she told me that Teresa had a brain aneurysm and was flown to Memphis.  Prayers up, warriors.

My friend Larry gifted me with some wicker porch furniture so I scoped that out and made a plan to get it moved with Bubba's help.  The table is in my back seat, BTW.  Lauren ran over her phone with the car several days ago and it quit working today.  Guess who I had to call?  Why ATT of course.  With insurance, it will cost 115 bucks to replace the device which is not even paid for.  Jesus H.  We're communicating by messenger via tablet until the new device arrives.  That involves paperwork at the store tomorrow.  Gotta have a phone.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning the shit show will be over.  I'm learning not to be so anxious about outcomes when I do my best.  The only thing constant is change.

Love you to pieces.  And your mama'n'all'them ^j^

Monday, November 5, 2018


That is what my friend Pax calls this month and I agree.  The darkness and rain wear me out. When I got up this morning the sun was rising red which told me the rain was coming and indeed it did....only earlier than expected.  I was having a nice lunch with friends and we noticed it got dark like really quick.  By the time we checked out it was run for the car time.  We had intended to see Bohemian Rhapsody thinking that there was a Monday matinee but nada.  Nothing until 4, so we went our separate ways.  

I met with an old friend and new client this morning to get the low down on my duties for the next gig which starts on Thanksgiving day. Unless some of her family rolls in, it will be just me and her.  Lauren is working and so is Bubba.  I can be thankful wherever I am and with whomever is around.  The last Thanksgiving we spent together as a family was at the Highlands when Aunt Nancy was there.  Millette reserved the conference room and the whole tribe piled in there for Cracker Barrel and family fellowship.  The next year, Daddy was gone so we did the Cracker Barrel thing on Mama's bed at Maple Ridge.  And then there were none.  It used to be a huge to do back in the day and Lauren and I helped Mom cook in the later years.  I think the last time she attempted it she ended up slinging sweet 'taters with the mixer all OVER the kitchen.  

I inherited her vacuum cleaner and haven't used it much because the bags don't fit.  One of today's chores was finding some that I hope will work.  It's a ten year old Electrolux so I'm not really holding my breath.  High five to the cool Lowe's employee that helped me.  Truly fine customer service.

By the time I got to the chicken store it was raining so hard you couldn't see and Ashley was steady mopping the floor while folks tried not to get it even wetter coming in and out.  Pecan Lane was almost invisible as I approached.  

Well, tomorrow is THE day.  There has been a record turnout for early voting and I suspect it will be heavy tomorrow.  And there will be some surprises, I'm  sure.  Trump has mounted a really insidious hate campaign for the GOP seats at stake.  Lots of people see right through that.  If I were a candidate, his endorsement would be one I would decline.  

Y'all stay dry and cozy and careful not to hydroplane!

Sunday, November 4, 2018

catch up time

I've been so busy this week that I was down to NOTHING to wear because laundry was piled up.  This is because there has been a snafu with the washer where it wraps certain random things around the rotator base and I've had to literally cut them out.  With that accomplished, I'm on a minimum five load mission.  

I was out of everything including bras ( thanks Ellie ) so I hit up the gentral' this morning to replenish the basics and get some support for the girls.  The girl at the checkout lamented that she can't go into a store and buy a bra because she's an F cup and has to order.  Lerd.  Bless her.

And the storm rages.  All this time I've been thinking the election was on the 8th when in fact it is on Tuesday.  Thus the time crunch on that huge mailing.  I am ready for it to be over.  I haven't watched SNL yet so I have that to look forward to.  I've started the final season of House of Cards and I just can't get into it without Frank speaking on the side.  Spacey is a genius in that role.  

Gotta go fold towels.  I didn't have any clean so that was priority number 1 followed by jeans.  Once I got all the clothes off the bedroom floor it was evident that Ellie has been busy this past week while I was gone chewing up coat hangers and anything else she can get to.  Must move things off the floor and up.  High up.

Later 'taters.  Love ya.....mean it. 

Saturday, November 3, 2018

for hire

I didn't have a clue what I was getting into but I took on the job of stuffing envelopes for a local candidate whom I admire.  There was a timeline of course, and one delivery made to USPS yesterday.  I brought the rest home and proceeded to sticker the remaining envelopes, then fold.  It wasn't until this morning when the stuffing started that I realized how wonky I had been when folding.  We refolded and stuffed and folded some more and stuffed some more.  Getting to know each other better was a huge blessing.  We beat the clock.  Kinda' sorta.  

Ellie has eaten three of my five bras.  Hell, I needed new ones anyway.  When I headed out this morning the fog was DENSE as in "turn on your lights fool."  By the time I got home the sun had burned through it and it's quite nice out.  The golf course will probably be packed.  I haven't walked in a few days because I've been so busy.  And tomorrow?  More rain.  Meh.

I have decided that for me, personally, a once a day glance at the headlines will do.  Until this election is over there is no news unless the caravan makes it to the border which is unlikely.  Meanwhile the circus continues.  With no ringmaster!

What strikes me the most about these mid-terms is the use of the words "Christian values" and morals and whatnot.  Jesus would NOT be pleased with what's going on in my opinion and faith.  Exclusion is not okay.  Ever.

See how well I've adjusted to withdrawing from the big picture?  I see it and go with the flow.  It is, most definitely, out of my hands.  And with that, comes an easy peaceful feeling ^j^

Friday, November 2, 2018

my tribe

My dogs miss me when I'm gone and that's been pretty often of late.  After a year long retirement I'm back at work in various ways.  I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you so that wouldn't be good.  God has provided me with a couple of opportunities this past week which was just shy of a miracle.  I actually have grocery money.  The is gratitude day 2.  I totally skipped day one.

Reaves was the most stunning fairy princess ever for Halloween.  I haven't seen the girls in about 2 weeks so I'm due for a road trip, weather permitting.'s only 45 minutes away, right?  The price of gas is down, probably due to the Saudi stunt .  Or maybe....just maybe.  It's because people are trying to make the world a better place and not polluting so much.  One can always dream.  They are my number one blessing.  We are a tribe of strong wise women.  

I'm ready for November 8th whatever happens.  I'm sick of seeing the ads on TV and killing trees for campaign tactics that arrive in my mailbox daily from political candidates.  For the first time in my life I voted along party lines about two weeks ago.  Marsha Blackburn is the devil and Bredesen ain't no saint.  That Kavanaugh thing was pretty measly.  He lost his position as a serious contender two months ago because of it.  

What I find really amusing is the scam where the guys tried to set Mueller up.  It sounds like there was alcohol involved in that little setup.  Hide and watch.  After mid-terms, it's on like donkey kong.  If it will help I will burn some sage in his honor.  


Thursday, November 1, 2018


No I'm not talking about Cheeto head this time although he does seem to be working on 2020 during the mid-terms while the rest of us plot how to get ourselves out of this hot mess.  No, I'm speaking of myself.  Some time ago I created a second FB account and like to have never crawled my way back to the one I was using.  There might have been alcohol involved, who knows.  Today I somehow managed to get myself logged into BOTH accounts.  Now I gotta' find a geek to help me to get rid of that other one so I'm not all being two people.  It's all I can do to take care of just one of me.  

I'm equally as bad with the ROKU remote so me and Joy and Pearl ended up watching hours of Adam Sandler.   "He's a good entertainer" she said as Pearl growled at me like I'm the devil.  I lit a candle where I was parked in the kitchen with the laptop and communed with the saints on this, the first day of their season.  My first thought was of my parents, and then Spike and Hazen and Anita and Amy.  Lots of others were there with us in spirit.  We enjoyed Mexican together and hand fed Pearl.  By the time I left she was sitting by me...not close, mind you.  Progress.

Now, back to the orange one.  I understand that he was elected because of the electoral college and Hillary hate.  I totally get that.  At first I thought, give the man a chance.  He has become totally unhinged to the point that our country is in danger of a large amount of civil unrest.  All anybody cares about in that party right now is maintaining control of Congress in spite of the horrors we have going on daily.  He is never on point these days and tells so many lies I'm sure there's a cabinet member designated just to see what he's tweeted and said.  He plays to the audience, the rowdy ones.  And he stirs up anger among his followers.  White supremacy is evil.  No wonder he's being compared to Hitler.  

Today was the last day for early voting and Colbert will be live on election night until it's over.  I suspect if the Dems don't pick up some numbers, he's gonna' lose hope like me.  I don't want a domination by one party.  I want equality across the aisle and some baby step solutions to what is rapidly becoming a dog and pony show.  We are this country.  All races, genders, sexual preferences.  We pay taxes for this bullshit that is the new norm.  It makes me grateful not to be shoveling out hundreds of dollars to them by being a full time corporate employee.  

Gratitude is the key to a peaceful soul.  No matter how bad you have it, it's worse for somebody else.  The universe/God manages to give you what you need right when you need it most.  This week with Joy has been a joy and I am grateful for the shakeup in my routine.  Larry will be back at work next week but I'm glad I got to spend a couple of days sitting on the deck looking at leaves and water.  That revived my spirit and will to keep going.  

Love one another ^j^