Karma has a really cool way of coming back around to teach us lessons that should be learned, though not necessarily enjoyed at the time. It's the learning curve of "do unto others". Once you experience what it feels like to walk in another person's shoes, perspective changes. It's happened to me a million and one times. The hardest thing for me ever has been to let go of worry and the what ifs. As I have grown in spirit, I realized that my taking on the universe instead of trusting Big Ernie to work things out in time is not a very faithful way to live. Slowly and painfully in fits and starts, I lost that desire to control. Fatigue is a major factor. When it all gets to be too much, I choose peace.
So yesterday was a slow news day except for Kimaye getting robbed in Paris with an absurd amount of jewelry. What she carries around the globe in a case could feed a third world country for a year plus provide healthcare. I have no sympathy, nor will I ever. The entire Kardashian empire was built on people exploiting each other for entertainment. If I want reality I'll watch Crisley or Amy Schumer or Trae Crowder gettin' his red up.
I haven't seen my brother since my birthday so I cruised by the fuel center to pay rent and we chatted. He has created a nice farm memorial in his home office that includes things from the cabin and daddy's clock from the fair. We have weathered the worst of it this past year and settled into a comfortable mode where everything isn't an emergency. When we see each other it's relaxed and informative. Ohmmm. We chatted about the sawmill situation and he wasn't aware other than his own personal opinions about where to seek service.
The Watsons came to visit yesterday in between pressure washing the house and we howled like hyenas over every little memory. Mamye's incense was burning for the occasion. She and I pulled out our worry stones and Hippie dug out his buckeye and we all just communed with the universe. And laughed....a lot.
If I knew what the critter was that outran me this morning I'd mention a totem but this one I'm not so sure about. Solid black with floppy fleshy feet and not real fast. Groundhog maybe? Perhaps a giant mutant ninja rat. I've never seen a porcupine but could be.
I'm a slave to habit and one of my favorite mashups of all time is the one Chucky shared with me called "i don't give a fuck no more." I listen to it daily to remind myself that my powers are limited and God given. The ball is in his court, always.