soldier on

2015 was a year of funerals for me and mine.  It started in January with Ginner where we were not very warmly received by the surviving family.  There's a story there but I won't go into it.  Both of her daughters preceded her in death as well as her husband Bud.  We attended the service at Cumberland and my friend and ex-sister-in-law and co-worker was there greeting.  She was interim DON until they found somebody who wanted the job permanently.  She left in June which is when Noler and Aunt Granny passed away.  I shared my concerns with her about work but she was on the way out the door.  Noler had cellulitis and went to his local ER at Jackson Madison County Regional for treatment where he was sent home to the Bobby Carter house to die the next morning on father's day eve.

Daddy got sick in July and ended up at the sawmill with three surgeries in two months. It was the perfect storm of strangulated hernias with 30 year old infected mesh which was removed pronto by a local surgeon.  Well, not really pronto, but...it was removed.  He went from there to the local rehab facility with a wound vac for recovery.  I stood and watched as the treatment nurse tried to get it in and working and it was pathetic.  His PCP went to Europe while he was there and told me to call Dr. Haynes if anything went wrong.  That resulted in a direct admit back to the sawmill where he had surgery #3, a colostomy.  He was in ICU for a week struggling to breathe and my friend Dr. A advised just letting the whole thing go.  We did and he died on August 4th, peacefully thanks to Caris.  

Mama moved to Maple Ridge in September and promptly broke her wrist getting from bathroom to bed.  There was a bright orange cast thanks to Randy Olson and she struggled to get things done in that predicament.  The cast finally came off and she was able to go to the All Saints day service at her beloved FUMC.  We heard the bell ring for Daddy together.  

A week or so before Christmas she just couldn't stand it and got Tracy to take her back to church for holiday festivities.  Lauren was on the way to meet her there and i was shopping at Gigi's house of jewelry when I got a call that she was headed to the ER with a broken hip.  Lerd.  The hip was pinned and we celebrated Christmas at the rehab with cheese grits and sausage casserole.  

In January the pinning failed and she was readmitted for yet another surgery to replace the joint.  The procedure was long but she handled it well.  A few days later she developed severe abdominal pain from a perforated diverticulum.  Four IV antibiotics didn't fix it so we called Caris again.  The day before she died I was working and had to scrape ice and snow off the Camry just to get there.  BG was at Maple Ridge and everybody there called in but she managed to get to the hospital and take a nap next to Memaw while the snow fell.  Tommy was there...and Lisa Todd the angel of mercy.  

She was buried in her powder blue honeymoon suit as requested.  A few months later things got ugly for me at work and I just about lost all faith in everything.  Sometimes control can be a really bad thing for the team.  A few friends stuck by me but not many.  When I asked for some empathy for what I'd been through I was subjected to a rant about how I didn't know anything about suffering and I was not doing my job according to corporate standards.  It was a very dark time in my life.  

BG moved to Jackson in the spring and it's been hit and miss what with her having NO car and me having the not so trusty Camry.  We have managed to stay in contact and even visit on occasion thanks be to Big Ernie.  I have very little family left and she is a big part of that.  I miss her face.  

Here's the thing....I know in my heart that it's been "a lot" and I keep asking folks for affirmation of that.  Yep..it was and it always is.  One of my kids Allison and her family lost their Mom today.  Nobody knows why it happened and actually it doesn't matter.  God was ready for Grace to do different things. All any of us ever need is empathy.