context

Sometimes in this age of instant everything that includes social media and email, we forget that the reader may not take what we say for what we mean.  I am particularly guilty of that but have learned not to ever send an email  without sleeping on it first if it involves something serious.  After the yard was mowed yesterday there was a clump of grass left standing over Sam's grave and I had a flashback to finding him dead on my office floor.  I was still pitiful and recovering from surgery and my neighbor Gerald came up to bury him so I wouldn't have to deal with it because well....I couldn't.  It was cold and rainy and he insisted I get back in the house because I was still sick.  He is in his late 70's and I tearfully watched through the window as he laid Sammy to rest.  

Yesterday I made a post on FB that my dog died and I was still grieving only it didn't say WHICH dog.  I woke up this morning to dozens of sympathy notes from folks who thought I had lost another one of the pack.  I felt really really bad about that, though it showed how many people care about me.  I've been on the phone with Yaya and relived all that just minutes ago as I told her the story.  Grief has no timeline.

It's looking stormy again.  I was going to go for a walk this morning but noticed that corn spraying was going on and I don't like to be out in that mess breathing it, especially when the wind is up.  I'll just chill in here with the critters.  Ellie is the guard dog these days, sleeping outside at night and inside during the day.  Oscar just follows me around as I wander, and Lily will jump up in the chair with me just for a head rub.  The purring is great therapy.  So is listening to them snore.

Like everybody else I'm wondering what's next.  Who knows.  All I know is that it's out of my hands.  Remember who you are ^j^