too much

For this old girl.  I have been outside with daddy's loppers trying to get the tree off of the tiger lilies. It's kind of a rose of sharon sort of deal and not blooming much.  Mostly it is in the way of the pump house and the garden.  I ran the redneck waterhose just in case that rain don't come.  I am covered in trumpet vine and virginia creeper and a patch or two of poison ivy.  The ancient pecans are dropping limbs ever which a way.  I try to pile 'em up to save Mayberry's crew some trouble.  

Back in the day I mowed it all with a push mower.  An entire acre, mind you.  So for now, I try to keep the overgrowth off of the house and burn it when it's a dry day with no wind.  It is too much for a single gal to handle, especially one who is recovering from surgery and a butt injury.  It is peaceful here and I should just enjoy the peace.  Yet when I go outside I think of what could be. I need gravel in the driveway and over the deadly rocks out front. The house needs to be washed but I only have a 15 foot hose for the garden.  Next to the pump house that needs a new cover.  

This is neither here nor there and not under my cotrol.  I am a tenant, dependent on the landlord to do the next right thing.  The gutters are full of leaves and sprouting little trees.  According to him that is the responsibility of the renter.  I paid an extra 175 bucks for four years to pay for windows on a property that I do not own..

I have an appointment with an EMDR therapist in Jackon in a couple of weeks in anticipation of the next surgery.  I need to erase the trauma of what was and embrace getting my life back if the COVID ever lets up.  If not, I'll just poop in a bag for a bit longer.

Yall be safe and happy and wear the mask dammit!