after the fall

I went to see my FNP this morning for some follow up on the butt pain.  She did another x-ray and gave me two shots and some prescriptions.  I reckon I'll be buzzed on steroids for another few days.  Whatever it takes.  I self adjusted my BP med today and told her about that.  It was wearing.me.out taking a whole dose.  I'm one to really listen to what my body is saying and I knew what was going on.  What is an "ideal" blood pressure is too low for me.  It makes me sluggish and weak.  Even with only half a dose it was 138/64.  I'll take that and run with it.  

Yesterday was a long one for me emotionally.  I watched as people fought on FB all day long about the POTUS's latest move at grandstanding.  Even the folks walking with him had no idea it was a photo op, except for Barr that is.  He has been called out by Espey, and rightfully so.  I suppose he will get fired too.  Something ain't right about this y'all.  We do not answer to Donald Trump, he should be answering to us for his wretched handling of every crisis we encounter.  Cancel the G7 and call them wimps.  Okay then.  Cut funding to the WHO.  Really?  I'm sure they've already picked another state for the convention because NC was umm, lukewarm and insisted on social distancing and mask wearing and whatnot.  It is the perfect storm for another rigged election. 

I grew up with black friends and neighbors during a time of segregation so even though I SAW color, I saw no difference between us.  They were just people who loved me as a sister and, in fact, still do.  I never heard either of my parents say the N word....ever.  That is how I was raised in the integrated community of Samaria Bend.  Sure, it wasn't the inner city but we had our own little piece of heaven here.  Still do.

I do not believe in reparations.  It was some bad history but that's the past.  My parents came from English and French ancestry, respectively, so their ancestors were immigrants as well as everybody on the Mayflower and yada yada.  We took this land from the Native Americans little by little and glorified cowboys fighting Indians.  That was our first injustice as a country and it continues today as their tribes struggle to survive COVID.  I do not believe that confederate statues should have been taken down because they serve as a reminder of what was and could be again.  

I have no answers here, only my opinions and beliefs.  If you respect mine, I will respect yours even if we differ.  That's how I roll.  My daddy told me long ago never to argue about politics and religion and I try not to do that.   My God is a loving one and not filled with wrath unless the people piss him off.  Then it's on when you haul out the golden idols.  I think that is where we are today, personally.  

I talked with my NP this morning about my insurance situation and upcoming Medicare.  I will be actually paying more in premiums that I now am but everything will be covered.  With an ACA out of pocket max of 6600 bucks I'm sunk from the get go.  Still no word on my appeal so I'm just kicking back to see what the next step is.  I have had some legal opinions and was offered an option that will more than likely happen.  At this point, it is what it is.  

Do I worry?  You bet your sweet ass I do, most particularly about the world that Reaves was born into that my generation left for she and Lauren.  But you know what?  I see change on the horizon in the voices of peaceful protesters all over the world.  I see people doing the next right thing.  And that gives me faith to carry on ^j^