hands of hampton

The title is my feeble attempt to help Kristen Hampton of flashlights and happy stuff product testing fame.  Today's episode was about five different brands of mayonnaise and I must say she outdid herself.  Go.  Watch.  She's a hoot! Plus she wants her defensive moves in street fighting go viral.  She picked my favorite Duke's as number three but that's okay.  That's why they make different brands for different folks.  One thing we ALL agree on is that Miracle Whip is not mayo.  Never has been and never will be.  End of story.

I treated myself to a salon day at Headlines and ended up with a hairless face plus a way cute short cut.  The whole thing actually cost me less than the pet meds down the road.  I have not administered those yet because I've been busy goofing around and procrastinating.  That's my specialty.  I am on lockdown, you know.  Kinda' sorta'.  Hey...I wear my mask and use hand sanitizer.  That's about all you can do besides staying outside of crowded places.  I am consider compromised because of my age, not to mention all the other drama.  

Turn your flashlights on kids.  We need all the light we can get right now ^j^

too much

For this old girl.  I have been outside with daddy's loppers trying to get the tree off of the tiger lilies. It's kind of a rose of sharon sort of deal and not blooming much.  Mostly it is in the way of the pump house and the garden.  I ran the redneck waterhose just in case that rain don't come.  I am covered in trumpet vine and virginia creeper and a patch or two of poison ivy.  The ancient pecans are dropping limbs ever which a way.  I try to pile 'em up to save Mayberry's crew some trouble.  

Back in the day I mowed it all with a push mower.  An entire acre, mind you.  So for now, I try to keep the overgrowth off of the house and burn it when it's a dry day with no wind.  It is too much for a single gal to handle, especially one who is recovering from surgery and a butt injury.  It is peaceful here and I should just enjoy the peace.  Yet when I go outside I think of what could be. I need gravel in the driveway and over the deadly rocks out front. The house needs to be washed but I only have a 15 foot hose for the garden.  Next to the pump house that needs a new cover.  

This is neither here nor there and not under my cotrol.  I am a tenant, dependent on the landlord to do the next right thing.  The gutters are full of leaves and sprouting little trees.  According to him that is the responsibility of the renter.  I paid an extra 175 bucks for four years to pay for windows on a property that I do not own..

I have an appointment with an EMDR therapist in Jackon in a couple of weeks in anticipation of the next surgery.  I need to erase the trauma of what was and embrace getting my life back if the COVID ever lets up.  If not, I'll just poop in a bag for a bit longer.

Yall be safe and happy and wear the mask dammit!

dust to dust

It rained a lot yesterday, but I noticed today that the dust plume is passing through all the way from the Sahara.  And my eyes feel it!  The girls and I went to some friend's pool and Reaves actually learned to swim with the floaties on.  She insisted Lauren jump off the board and loved every minute of it.  

I was sent on a mission the other day to Cumberland Presbyterian Church.  One of my mother's dearest friends is Ms. Annie who lives in TX and she wanted some pictures of the baptismal font that she donated in memory of her parents.  So I snapped them and will have to get them printed to send down to Cedar Park.  I have a lot of ties to that church as well.

So, Ellie and me are covered with blue paint where Reaves did art in the office floor.  I have this little wooden statue of a med tech that my mother gaves me eons ago and Reaves calls it Gaga.  She ended up with blue hair but I think it gives her character.  That's not "me" anymore so, there ya' go.  

Yesterday's supper was chicken pot pie and I had forgotten how good that is.  Lauren lunched on it and I have enough left to gorge again.  It's time to go watch church so y'all keep the faith.  Mine is strong right now coupled with a lot of outrage so I'm expecting miracles ^j^

and so it goes backwards

More and more often I hear about people that I know and love who are COVID positive and fighting for their lives.  Yet our current POTUS denies that it's a problem.  "We are winning....like really big!"  He will lose the election and there will be hell to pay.  The Lincoln Project is a prime example of the GOP divorcing him and all the lies.  His primary motive seems to be reversing everything Obama.  So far SCOTUS has stood up to him. I pray that will happen with the ACA. Affordable healthcare is a right.  

I'm still trying to sort out all the drama with my abrupt termination by the Marketplace four days prior to my emergency surgery.  I accepted an informal resolution from them which stated that I was eligible as of Jan 1st 2020.  That involves the carrier which is BCBS of Tn.  I talked with them today after I got a letter asking for me to pay them back 250 bucks for "over payment."  We shall see how it all turns out.

I haven't seen Reaves in two weeks and I'm in withdrawals from that sweet sassy girl.  Maybe on Sunday?  Who knows with this world.  Love will keep us alive ^j^

hot as heck

As we all know plans are made to be changed.  Originally my friend and I had planned to go swimming after a lunch meeting but it was the heat of the day and I avoid 2-4.  I am a morning floater.  I went to a church meeting before lunch, all properly distanced and whatnot.  

Mary Gwyn sat on my porch and at the round oblong table for a couple of hours and brain stormed about what we learned from the meeting about art and running with the football.  Our lunchmate is also an artist with great vision and knowledge.  I just ate my burger and threw in a comment or five.  Y'all all know I can't keep my mouth shut.

Lauren was needing to get out and float a bit so that happened and she stopped by on her way home.  The late afternoon sun did her some good like it did me last week.  I maybe have to float a bit before tomorrow's gig.  

If there is anything I have learned it is that life is unpredictable because we are not in control.  God is.  I believe that he reaches out to believers all across the spectrum to guide and direct us on the right path.  I believe in one God and happen to be a Christian yet I respect other beliefs.  Who am I to judge?

Happy almost the weekend to you and yours.  I feel blessed to know what day it is, but I keep the faith ^j^

okay, so i lied....

I've been a blogger since 2005 and many times I thought the muse had left me.  Writing daily, or as my fellow blogger Chuck says "consistently" is my therapy.  I never know who reads or how they take it but then again it's more for me.  A journal if you will.  My friend Mary Beth said that I have a certain element of snark that intrigues her.  So...here we go with another day.  

This morning I went to the dermatologist and got a few spots frozen and had a long emotional visit with my PA friend Kim. We worked together for many years in the lab and became fast friends.  We actually spent more time catching up than treating!  She didn't know about my surgery and all that and I didn't know her mother had died.  I had one squamous cell CA lesion removed a few years back so I wanted her to check my whole body.   We laughed and cried and generally caught up with each others' world.  I love it when that happens.

I got an SOS from Mamye who had a flat down the road at Sonic so I stopped to check on her and went to the service station to get her lined up for a service call.  Ironically she had just been there to gas up and get her oil and tires checked.  Somewhere between there and Sonic she ran over something that immediately flattened that new tire.  I tried to cheer her up but I know the feeling when you get caught like that.  I'm sure the car behind me when I let her out thought we were gay because we kissed in the parking lot.  Whatever.

I watched a very long and tension filled video this morning of a Palm Beach county commission meeting where they revised their masking protocol to mandatory because of the staggering rise in cases.  People were pissed to say the least and the guy leading the meeting had to threaten to clear the room more than once.  The vote was unanimous to proceed with the ruling.  Better safe than sorry.

The stupidest theory that I've heard is that the whole COVID thing is a ploy by the media and Democratic party to sabotage Trump's campaign.  I mean what the what?  Talk to the hand.

I was surprised by a up close and personal deer as I was driving  up the lane.  It jumped the ditch and ran ito the corn children and back toward the river.  A deer is always a good totem.  

Y'all be blessed ^j^

hiatus

This smartass snarky girl will be absent from Pecan Lane for a minute. The things I write about are repetitive and don't do much for my soul lately.  Perhaps it's time to move on.  When I quit Poop Happens I ended it with the final scene of The Truman Show.  Sometimes I feel like that....baring my soul to the world and looking for the real door.

I visited my friends this morning and walked their yard like I do my own. Rick and Deb told me the name of every single plant.  My favorites were the coneflowers in three different colors  I had never seen any besides the purple but they had white and red too.  That is faith in action.  

Pray for me please as I do my withdrawal from social media. I will certainly be back but for now I have more important things to do.  It has been over six months since I drove 412 to Jackson.  They have been coming to me, praise the lort'.  I'm feeling strong enough to make the journey once the oil leaks is fixed.  

ashes to ashes

Yesterday was the day for Pnoler to be scattered.  He rode in the front seat of Lauren's car all the way from Madison County and Mamye joined us for the casting into the wind.  I've never handled cremains before and we all got dusty from the spreading. He's here there and yonder on the farm.  It was a cleansing experience for all of us who knew and loved him and a very appropriate Father's Day tribute.  When Lauren first arrived we had a good cry and then commenced to giving her pops back to the earth from which we were all created.  

Our church does noon devotionals every day and Mondays are notoriously hard to fill.  So, I raised my hand and Mary Beth got a Monday off.  My subject matter involved the history of the serenity prayer which we all know and love.  It is spoken in unison at every AA, NA and all other anonymous meetings.  Until Lauren told me yesterday I did not know that there was another portion so I included that and gave personal testimony as to how that prayer helped me when I was losing my mind after the big surgery.  I was sleep deprived and as heck.  While researching the history of that prayer I found that the author was a liberal progressive Christian named Reinhold Niebuhr from way back when.  He graduated from Yale and went on to teach at the Union Theological Seminary in New York until his retirement.  Mary Beth told me that he had a brother who was an ethicist.  Live and learn and pass it on.  Emily was patient with me since I was a newbie at FB live.  

I got to visit with the crew at Curry Funeral Home this morning which included Ann and Stella.  Stella climbed Ann like a tree and laid her head on her shoulder.  Magic love!  I then made a delivery to my client and got my next assignment.  And I even made it home before the rain started.  

Y'all be blessed and remember who you are.  And always keep the faith ^j^

peaceful easy feeling

I have been hesitant to go swimming this year because of the ostomy so I read up on it and felt good about going to my friend's house for a dip this morning.  It is a beautiful pool and I was all alone except for the golfers.  As I floated around with my eyes closed I could feel every muscle in my body relax.  Very soothing.  I let my mind wander to neverland and just soaked up the sun like a turtle...but not for long.  I am super cautious about sun these days and it was my first time out so I only stayed about 30 minutes.  That was all I needed to restore my soul.  

Speaking of golfers, they are currently lined up over at the Dyersburg Municipal course.  I have a very clear view of the second hole and watch the faithful ones from my office window and porch.  They will NEVER find their lost balls in that corn field.  

Daddy has a little marker beside his headstone that originally held a little flag.  Last time I was by there it was gone so while I was at the 'gentral I picked up another one to place there tomorrow on Father's Day.  As a veteran and a patriot he always had a flag flying in the yard and when they wore out he burned them appropriately.  

Last night I fried up some 'taters and onions the old school way from the free produce.  I had forgotten how good they are!  They were a staple in our house when I was growing up along with purple hulls and biscuits or cornbread.  Mama's biscuits are like none other that I've ever had.  

To all you guys who have fathered children or mentored them, Happy Father's Day.  I was very blessed to have not only an actively engaged father but plenty of mentors like my Uncle Jim.  They were as different as night and day but I adored them both.  

Happy weekend to y'all!  

faith without works

I was out and about for my client this morning and did a bit of meandering.  I had noticed that my front tire was low so I stopped at a self service air thingy which I couldn't get to work plus I almost passed out from trying to get it to work.  I took a detour through Southtown back to Tucker Tire and pulled into a lot packed full.  As I was waiting my turn, an elderly black gentleman who was also waiting said '"I guess I'll find somebody to talk to."  I told him I had nothing but time so let's talk.  He asked if I thought I was going to heaven to which I replied yes.  What followed was a litany of questions about my baptism ( the old Methodist sprinkle didn't count in his opinion) and my profession.  Writer, healthcare advocate, yada yada.  He told me there would be no need for those skills in heaven.  Then we got into the whole Pentecostal speaking in tongues thing and he kind of lost me.  I told him about the speaking in tongues that I heard at drive in worship on Pentecost Sunday and how it made an impression on me.  Then it was my turn to get air.  I also spent some time chatting with a previous co-worker from the hospital and we got caught up on everything.  You just never know what a day will bring.  

Somebody got my wicker chest that was to be for Reaves plus a heckuva deal on the whole set.  Now the search is on for another one.  If you see one holla'.  That baby likes to pick out her own clothes and needs her own dresser.  Just saying.  I started painting the mirror from the piece that I salvaged from Mozella's house yesterday.  It's falling apart but my buddy told me to get some liquid nail and keep painting.  

The corn children are now at least 3 feet tall which means if Reaves gets loose we would never find her in the maze.  Lauren told her there was snakes and bugs to stop her last time they were here.  She promptly turned around and came back!

Our church was set to resume in person worship this Sunday and the team that is planning met this morning to discuss the rising COVID rate in Tennessee.  Dyer county has jumped way up there.  So, they made a wise decision in my opinion.  It is very risky to meet in large groups with this first wave continuing to surge.  I kind of enjoy online worhip in my shorts. Years ago I gave my piano to a fellow church member so she could practice for Sunday evening worship.  All I asked was that it be returned to me at some point.  Now, I have no place for a piano plus I don't play that well so it's going to the church eventually, in honor of she and Cooper Patterson who tuned it for her.  

That's my story.  It's almost the first day of summer and it feels like it.  Y'all don't overheat and remember who you are.  Especially when some guy questions your faith ^j^

let there be light!

My tall neighbor with a stepstool came and replaced my light bulbs and smoke detector battery.  I have one that works.   His MIL delivered some boxes of free produce so that was a win win.  We talked about anything and everything like we usually do.  I appreciate the help.

I was all over the place in the trusty Camry that leaks oil this morning.  Note to self:  check.  The bargain vault sold the entire wicker set out from under me yesterday.  I should have had cash and a truck.  That's not my reality.

I'm still waiting to see Reaves in the new dress but it may not happen.  She is NOT a girly girl but prefers to go nekkid.  I got the redneck water hose going on the garden and washed one side of the car yesterday.  Maybe I'll do the other side when the sun goes down.5

I heard that the grain company up on  51 south burned TODAY.  Could have been a rumor but I think I saw the smoke.  Just saying. Somebody prolly threw a cig in the corn.   

Y'all be happy and blessed.  And pray for me to speak the word of God on Monday morning ^j^

saggy britches

I have ( not trying ) lost 20 pounds this year due to the surgery.  There is one pair of shorts from last year that will not stay up and I forgot and put them on this morning.  Thus I found myself up in the shady 'gentral with my underwear shining.  Oops.  From there I headed downtown to try and catch the Bargain Vault open because there is a wicker chest in the window that I want for Reaves.  Dude said the owner had it priced as a "set" including a table, rocking chair and several wall pieces.  I was disppointed, to say the least.  He took my name and number and said he would ask the guy if I could buy that piece alone.  I'd love to have the whole set but ummm....$$$

I caught Mary Kate Alford in action down at the Tencom building working on her fabulous mural.  It has been a joy to see that thing come to life and to watch Andy Jayroe's progress on the Forked Deer walking trail.  Young folks making a difference!!

Lily is over there perched on my daddy's Bible that is open to a passage on patience and faith.  I remember in vivid detail laying in that hospital bed, sleep deprived and aggravated and praying the Serenity prayer over and over.  "God help me to accept the things I cannot change."  It brought me peace every time.  That was just when COVID was cranking up in Wuhan and before visitors were restricted in hospitals.  I dodged a bullet on that one because I would have lost my mind without the folks who surrounded me that week or so.  There were Memphis peeps and Dyersburg peeps and probably some I don't even remember.  

Yesterday was the first time I had seen LPT since the day he and Patsye were there while I was extubated.  His comment was "Well, you look a helluva lot better than the last time I saw you!"  No kidding buddy.  

Y'all be happy and healthy and watch out for that virus.  The first wave ain't over yet y'all.  Wear the mask or not, your choice.  As for me, I'm at risk because of age and whatnot and I'm not taking any chances.  I've been snickered at and such but I could care less.  

Grace and peace to you and your mama'n'them ^j^

from whom all blessings flow

Little miracles are happening.  Not huge ones, mind you but small things that show me that my faith has allowed me the patience to weather the storms.  There was a check in the mail today just when I needed it most.  I spent a couple of hours down at "the cottage" on the front porch with Patsye and LPT and Sally.  Then on the way home I got to see two of my favorite farmers cranking up to thrash the wheat.  It's a great day to be alive.  

And my patience and tenacity, both God given, allowed me to soldier on with the Marketplace appeal until I received an acceptable resolution.  It took six months, but it was worth it.  Praise be.  All during the time that I was down and out with the surgery and the nasty ass fall, I was being taught by God to slow down and appreciate the little things like my grandbaby running in the sprinkler, hugs from everybody and grace.  My front porch is a haven now that I cherish.  Back in the day I never slowed down long enough to enjoy just being.  

I pray that you are well and happy and if not that you find the grace that comes with acceptance of what is.  Life is hard on us sometimes.  Love is what matters ^j^

a day in the life

The girls came yesterday and it was, as usual, a circus but a fun one.  We had planned on going swimming but Reaves was in a mood so we played in the sprinkler and that was just as fun.  She figured out how to pick it up and move it around so Lauren and I got soaked more than once.  She watered my garden and I told Lauren what everything was.  Her inner country girl is beginning to emerge and she is fascinated with growing things.  We never had a garden when she was growing up but I remember her getting mad at me because I spent so much time on my "stupid flowers."  Hah...she loves them now and so does Reaves.  She lives in an apartment so there's no way for her to grow much BUT....someday.  

A great victory was delivered by our SCOTUS and that gives me hope for equality in these turbulent times.  One friend put it like this: "I know a lot of y'alls spouses and they are assholes.  How would you like it if you got fired for being married to an asshat."  Hmmm.  Excellent point Lisa.  It was indeed a high point of pride month.  

So now we wait for November and whatever comes then.  I have a feeling it's going to get worse before it gets better.  Trump is holding a rally in OK where they wished he would not come and pack an indoor arena holding 19K people shoulder to shoulder.  People come from other states for these things and there will be lots of COVID passing around I imagine.  If you are stupid enough to sign a waiver promising not to sue if you get it you are just, as we say in the south, "special."  

I did a run for my client this morning and that was about the extent of my activity because I'm kind of dizzy headed when I look up or down.  Maybe it's all the drama these days, ya' think?  Probably vertigo.  I should probably wait to put up a new nail for the hummingbird feeder!  

That wooden trellis that I couldn't use is now planted in the neighbor's cherry tomato.  Mine is coming along nicely with tomato blooms and baby squash.  I have enjoyed this project a lot and will probably get Johnny and Billy to build me another one when they have time.  

Y'all have a happy Monday and fabulous week.  Do good and say nice things.  Shine your light on everybody you see ^j^

cemetery chat

I attended a graveside service for my dear friend Keith's sister this morning and, as usual, got to see everybody and their mama'n'them.  I was talking with Vicki and Barrett and she was admiring my earrings made by Cari Houston Hayes when she spotted a TICK in my ear.  Barrett got rid of him for me and stomped him with his boot.  That's the second time I've had one in the ear with the first one being retrieved by Nina at Headlines.  I hate them!  I know where I picked this one up and it was from being under the trees at Larry's house and then over at Parks's.  Larry is pretty much bedridden with neck pain, bless  his heart.  

I went by the crack store known as Pennington's and got a couple of more cages for things to climb on.  Stanley tried to warn me that they weren't big enough and the tomato would outgrow it.  I'll take my chances and stake it later.  

The funeral was very well led and inspiring.  The preacher captured the real Marilyn and focused on her love for everybody and how she told them so.  That is how I'd like to be remembered.  He mentioned that children who are raised being told that they are loved grow up with greater self worth which I totally believe.  Unconditional love is what it's all about, not just with kids but with the world.  My offering for the bereavement meal was a bag of delicious cheese biscuits.  I've taken them to many a cookout at their house and they're gone in a heartbeat.  

Death is inevitable which is something we don't like to think about but it's a reality.  Losing both of my parents within six months was quite a blow but pretty common for folks who have been married for sixty plus years.  As for me, I will be buried in the Carter family cemetery at the tail end of Samaria Bend.  It's a lovely little grove of a place that is kept up by the property owner and he has given my brother and I permission to have that as out final resting place.  Very appropriate, I think.

Y'all be peaceful and grateful and above all kind to one another.  And keep the faith ^j^

i am the church...you are the church

Today's noon devotional was presented by none other than my good friend Delores.  She adopted me many years ago and has shown the love of God to me and mine in many ways.  Back when we had in person worship I knew exactly where she and Hubert sat and often joined their family unit.  Ridge and Valley and Jason.  The whole crew.  She always had her bible and looked up the scripture even though it was on the big screen.  FUMC has held me up and prayed for me through the hard times of this year....heck I'm still on the prayer list.  I had just begun volunteering with the food assistance when I got struck down by the diverticulitis and COVID hit.  I spent several afternoons in Karen's office listening to volunteers and staff and getting to know them better.  This is God at work.

What is the new normal?  Who knows.  All I know is that I live in the moment now more than ever and enjoy every little bit of serendipity that comes my way.  It is a faithful way to live, I think.  Believing in things not seen when things do not seem possible.  I went to get a trellis for my cucumber today and almost broke it trying to hammer it into the ground.  I'll use that for something else because Jeffro at Pennington's advised me to use a cage.  

I'm looking forward to my first pool time with Reaves on Sunday thanks to some super generous friends who love us.  Of course I can't go under because of, umm...you know.  But I can sure soak my feet and legs and splash a bit.  I went there a couple of times last summer and totally enjoyed it.  There's flowers everywhere and whatnot.  People playing golf across the fence.  I ordered the baby a new summer dress that is to die for cute from a local online boutique.  It's more than I usually pay but *squeee* it's so freakin' cute.  Gaga can't help herself!

I ask but one thing of you today.  Please show the love to someone....anyone.  Cross the fence and shake hands.  Find some common ground.  It's what Jesus would do ^j^

grace and peace

Today's noon devo was by my good friend Will Clark.  His message was based on the beginning of Romans chapter five.  It speaks to those of us who think that perhaps we can EARN grace by repenting or whatnot.  His message was a heartfelt plea for us to agree to disagree and pass the peace even to those who are hostile toward us.  I have faced that on one or more occasions myself and I normally just walk away and pray for that poor angry damaged soul.  Some things are easily forgiven, others not so much.  Betrayal by a friend is something that cuts like a knife.   

Once upon a time I was at a meeting for a benefit and one of the attendees took offense at an offhand comment I made to one of the others.  Dude proceeded to get all up in my face and shake his finger like I was a little kid and he was still in a position of power.  I kindly asked him to back off and we didn't see each other for months.  

I ran into him one day and we made up and became real friends.  He has been there for me ever since, through thick and thin.  Had we not passed the peace that day, we would not have known each other nearly as well.  We are Christian friends and this guy knows his Bible, just saying.  I flew in a plane with him and his dog and was scared shitless, though it was a great view of flooding.  We worked together briefly on a project and it was a real learning experience for me.  

We do not all agree on everything.  Apples and oranges and all that.  But we can love one another in spite of our differences.  Christ died so that we could be forgiven...that was the deal.  Once he did that, there's no begging for forgiveness.  It's there and free.  

Keep the faith y'all ^j^

flashback

I talked to Delores yesterday and we were discussing one thing which led to another thing that I did not know.  Patsye and LPT came to see me in the hospital in January as I was being extubated.  They asked them if they would prefer to leave the room but Patsye was intrigued so they stayed.  She described in detail my reaction.  I never even knew they were there.  Small world indeed.  I do remember the nurse asking me if I had ever had one pulled and I nodded no.  There are some things I'm glad not to remember!

Today is payday so I made a run to the 'gentral and have been steady sorting through bills.  I'm feeling better enough that I can focus on the piles and prioritize.  It's not my strongest trait but I'm giving it a good effort.  I have found during the Medicare enrollment process that I jumped the gun on things I was not educated about.  Live and learn.  Talking with an agent face to face helped me there.  

When I was doing the funeral thing with Kay she also explained it all in detail so that I felt comfortable with what was going on.  This makes all the difference in the world.  People want to understand the plans they are making and what to expect.  I had no idea going into an emergent situation earlier this year what I would deal with in the aftermath.  

Today is beautiful and sunny and the birds are singing so that's good enough for me.  I hope that wherever you are there is sunshine in your heart if not outside ^j^

blowing in the wind

Cristobal is still blowing through here since late yesterday with periodic downpours and a whole bunch of wind.  I had an appointment with a client for errand running this morning and was up by 6:30 but I waited for the rain to stop before I set out.  Now the sun is trying to come out which means nasty humidity but the next few days look much more pleasant.  

I'm still learning my new phone and got a message about excessive battery use so it told me to put some apps to sleep to help fix that.  We shall see.  I had noticed that it was slow to charge...like super slow.  

Our church is tentatively scheduled to resume in person worship on June 21.  This is a learning curve for the staff and congregation but we will adapt.  I'm really encouraged by the outreach and presence of the church during our time of suspended in person worship.  It will be different for sure.  My family unit of "just me" has to be six feet away from other units and we are asked to wear masks.  Since we won't be singing that's doable.  

I am still struggling with the back thing and hoping the medicine kicks in soon.  I can walk, but slowly and with pain.  But we all have aches and pains so I soldier on.  I do the exercises to stretch it out and sleep on the heating pad.  I seriously need an ice pack but have been making my own in ziploc bags.  Maybe that will be in the budget on payday.  

Speaking of random....I ran into an old work friend at Kroger today whom I thought had moved.  He spent some time in his home country but is now back local and working dialysis in a nearby town.  It was good to hug his neck.  I can't help it...I love hugs too much to give it up.  

Y'all be happy and healthy.  It's noon devotional time!

planning ahead

Not to be morbid or anything, but I just did a pre-arrangement for my funeral.  I'm not planning on dying but hey...you never know what a day will bring.  Lauren is an only child and it would be left for her to deal with and I don't want that.  Even if I'm 80 which is only 15 years away.  Wow...let's not think about that!  Happy thoughts.  I feel some peace having that taken care of.  

Mayberry's crew came and went quickly this morning so I struck out to town to avoid the noise.  It makes me happy to have a pretty yard, ya' know?  Slowly but surely I'm cleaning up what used to be a horrific mess from years of neglect when I was a working single gal.  

I'm wondering out loud if "defunding" the police is such a good idea.  Looks like that would play right into the hands of authoritarians who want to use military.  I will reserve judgement until it all plays out.  The times, they are a changing. 

My friend advised me to stop trying to solve problems and focus on myself.  I'm trying my best to do that because I have no choice.  It's just me out here with the tribe surrounding me virtually.  My reversal will be after September 1 for sure because....Medicare.  I was stuck with monstrous bills from the emergency and y'all all know that story.  Thankfully it is one that I lived to tell.  I used to wonder why I was spared but now I see that my journey may be help others in similar situations to just keep the faith when all seems lost.  

That's my story and I'm sticking to it ^j^ 

family circus

My girls came today and as usual it was a whirlwind.  It's too hot to get outside so I cooked lunch early and we nibbled on it and made to go plates while the laundry was running.  Meanwhile the dogs came in and out about ten times and Reaves ate yogurt, a cheeseburger, a Sonic mint and generally stole my heart.  We can entertain her now for short spans of time until she decides to get busy.  Then it's on.  Her new thing is wanting to "help" with whatever we're doing so I thanked her for washing dishes.  Plus Lauren cleaned the floor while I was at the store.  AND I have leftovers plus a plate for Bubba.  Who's a badass?

So Cristobol is headed for the Gulf Coast and Lorna is right there where the flooding will commence.  We should get rain here for a couple of days when it heads north after landfall.  Depends on which way it turns as to how much.  The wheat is ready and dependent on what the storm does.  Such is the life of a farmer.  

I watched church online today and couldn't hear but I was there in spirit while frying chicken.  My butt still hurts but I'm counting on Meloxicam to kick in at some point.  I got "sprunty", as my Mama called it, and tried to clean up the mess out back so they can mow over it.  There is mature pigweed sticking up over that spot.  I got most of it except for the old water hose and that can wait cuz garbage doesn't run until Thursday.  

The dogs ate well today and are seeking out cold floors and panting.  I am super attentive to keeping them watered in this heat.  And also the tiny garden in a box.  It's looking pretty good if I say so myself..

Peace and Grace to you and yours ^j^

a peaceful protest

I just watched a live feed from Cookeville TN where there is a large crowd gathered in peaceful protest against police brutality.  At one protest a person was injured by "the other side" so they have become super careful about sticking together.  They are expected a show by several hate groups.  Just in the intro with honks of appreciation in the background some idiot yelled "Go fuck yourself."  Not cool dude.  If you guys get up in there and start some shit, the organizers are not to blame.  The FBI is there and who knows what else.   I am proud of their courage and intentions.  Keep the faith...and thanks to The Tennessee Holler for streaming live.  

My friend Larry is the most avid gardener I know besides Delores.  He has this little space outside the back porch that is a virtual wonderland of nature complete with waterfalls.  We sat and visited in the shady morning and visited with Lily Cat the tiger cut girl.  She got sick and threw up so I was off to home and her to the vet with Larry.  He is also the animal whisperer.  She sat in my lap and tried to find her spot, knowing that I'm a cat person.  Peanut came up to the fence and kept us company.  Long story there.

I've been pretty torn about the whole protest thing, trying to grasp the good times when police and protesters kneel together and whatnot.  Seeing that shit in Buffalo where they knocked down an old man.....a freaking ADVOCATE for peace, and suffered a bleeding head wound from being push down.  I saw it myself.  There's one thing about live stream...you can't alter it.  What's happening is what's really going on and it is a powerful tool for defense in these times.  Change will never happen until we all see how bad it is in real time.  

Y'all enjoy the weekend.  I'm about to enjoy my own person garden of eden out here.  Peace ^j^

little miracles

I got a call from an insurance agent yesterday with whom I had made contact early on in the Medicare enrollment process.  Being overly cautious and actually stupid I worked with an internet based company and didn't understand much of what I was doing.  They were nice and polite but debited the first month's premium on the spot.  He hooked me up with something much more affordable and spent a lot of face time explaining all of it.  This is the benefit of having a local advocate.  His office is in the historic Baird Brewer building where my grandmother had a real estate office on the first floor and my Daddy worked USDA from the basement.  I was born there in 1955.  There was an old black guy named Herman who ran the elevator and he used to take me for a spin when I was there with Gaga.  I didn't realize that there was a 3rd story added.  The elevator still works according to Rick.  Only two in the state still operational.  Live and learn.

Shortly after I got home the heavens opened up and watered my garden again.  I really wasn't in the mood to hook up the redneck water hose so that was a blessing as well.  I can't wait for the first squash bloom.

I have no more comment on the state of our union.  Everybody knows what's up and if you are silent by vote and voice, you are complicit in the hot mess that is America.  I saw Trump bragging about the unemployment rate dropping because half those folks went back to work when the COVID is still raging.  That is the reason for the drop in unemployment.  My daughter is one of those who is back on the front line trying to earn a living with a heavy student loan debt and a two year old.  So is my nurse friend Mary Gwyn the nurse/artist/bestie.  Off of furlough.  

Tennessee will be allowing vote by mail for all because of the pandemic.  I say "baby steps" kids and pay it forward.  There are primaries in August so get out there and vote.  Do your homework on state and local candidates.  Don't vote blindly along party lines.  

Lord, I sound like my mama telling y'all what to do.  I am an orator and writer as she was.  If it's on my mind, I write it.  I pray that you are well and peaceful during these times in the desert.  We are all in it together, you know.

Keep the Faith ^j^

love loudly

I so enjoy the daily devotionals that FUMC has on FB live.  Today's featured a fellow church member whom I have not met but she did a bang up job focusing on love as in first Corinthians quoting "and the greatest of these is love."  She urged us to love loudly and openly.  I pretty much have adopted that as a way of life.  I will meet you where you are in life and go from there.  One of my favorite sayings is "I love everybody and you're next!"

My doctor's office called to report that on repeat xray there was no fracture BUT.  There's always a but.  There is degenerative arthritis going on down there that will probably be a lifelong thing.  I remember my parents suffering with that and couldn't relate at the time.  Now I can.  I am on a new medicine that will take the place of all the OCT things I've been taking.  I felt so good yesterday after the Tramadol and double dose of steroids only to wake up prior to a thunderstorm almost unable to walk.  It is not avoidable, the old arthur, if you live long enough so I guess it's my time.  I've been told in the past that the cause of my shoulder problems was degnerative arthritis.  We'll just add another spot.  

It gives me hope to see all the folks stepping up and calling Trump out.  Using military force on your people is akin to a dictatorship which is what he wants.  I remember an old aquaintance calling Obama Pajama Mama and referencing Muslims.  At the time I let it slide and he eventually unfriended me because he didn't want to see my demolibtard crap.  Notice I said acquaintance, not friend.  

I heard that there was a peaceful protest locally and that all went well.  That's what it is all about y'all.  Nobody should fear being tear gassed or shot with rubber bullets for marching in unity for change.  Dictators hate that crap.  

I pray for our nation and for our world daily.  For peace and understanding and unity.  Finding common ground is something that any of us can do with any soul who comes across our path.  If we don't agree on politics or religion, that doesn't matter unless you are disrespectful to me.  That's when I shut down and walk away.  

Today was 99 cent chili cheese tot day at Sonic so I stopped by after picking up meds.  I woke up to a monsoon in the making and listened to the storm until it stopped long enough to get out.  One trip a day is all I make so I consolidate errands, ya know.

Love Loudly ~ Kristen B

after the fall

I went to see my FNP this morning for some follow up on the butt pain.  She did another x-ray and gave me two shots and some prescriptions.  I reckon I'll be buzzed on steroids for another few days.  Whatever it takes.  I self adjusted my BP med today and told her about that.  It was wearing.me.out taking a whole dose.  I'm one to really listen to what my body is saying and I knew what was going on.  What is an "ideal" blood pressure is too low for me.  It makes me sluggish and weak.  Even with only half a dose it was 138/64.  I'll take that and run with it.  

Yesterday was a long one for me emotionally.  I watched as people fought on FB all day long about the POTUS's latest move at grandstanding.  Even the folks walking with him had no idea it was a photo op, except for Barr that is.  He has been called out by Espey, and rightfully so.  I suppose he will get fired too.  Something ain't right about this y'all.  We do not answer to Donald Trump, he should be answering to us for his wretched handling of every crisis we encounter.  Cancel the G7 and call them wimps.  Okay then.  Cut funding to the WHO.  Really?  I'm sure they've already picked another state for the convention because NC was umm, lukewarm and insisted on social distancing and mask wearing and whatnot.  It is the perfect storm for another rigged election. 

I grew up with black friends and neighbors during a time of segregation so even though I SAW color, I saw no difference between us.  They were just people who loved me as a sister and, in fact, still do.  I never heard either of my parents say the N word....ever.  That is how I was raised in the integrated community of Samaria Bend.  Sure, it wasn't the inner city but we had our own little piece of heaven here.  Still do.

I do not believe in reparations.  It was some bad history but that's the past.  My parents came from English and French ancestry, respectively, so their ancestors were immigrants as well as everybody on the Mayflower and yada yada.  We took this land from the Native Americans little by little and glorified cowboys fighting Indians.  That was our first injustice as a country and it continues today as their tribes struggle to survive COVID.  I do not believe that confederate statues should have been taken down because they serve as a reminder of what was and could be again.  

I have no answers here, only my opinions and beliefs.  If you respect mine, I will respect yours even if we differ.  That's how I roll.  My daddy told me long ago never to argue about politics and religion and I try not to do that.   My God is a loving one and not filled with wrath unless the people piss him off.  Then it's on when you haul out the golden idols.  I think that is where we are today, personally.  

I talked with my NP this morning about my insurance situation and upcoming Medicare.  I will be actually paying more in premiums that I now am but everything will be covered.  With an ACA out of pocket max of 6600 bucks I'm sunk from the get go.  Still no word on my appeal so I'm just kicking back to see what the next step is.  I have had some legal opinions and was offered an option that will more than likely happen.  At this point, it is what it is.  

Do I worry?  You bet your sweet ass I do, most particularly about the world that Reaves was born into that my generation left for she and Lauren.  But you know what?  I see change on the horizon in the voices of peaceful protesters all over the world.  I see people doing the next right thing.  And that gives me faith to carry on ^j^

breaking up is hard to do

Since I switched cell providers I'm in the process of divorcing ATT on everything except DSL service.  I tried calling them and of course got nowhere so I went to the local store where they gave me a phone number to call. *sigh*  After staying on hold for about 30 minutes I gave up.  I did get the wireless lines cancelled but there was something about another line with the tablet that is long gone.  I don't know.  Something hidden I'm sure.  Too tired to deal with it actually.

I was out and about this morning and got a couple of things done that were on the list.  While I was out I spotted Mary Kate Alford working at the Downtown Dyersburg mural on Tencom's brick exterior wall.  Makes new friends and keep the old!  There will be pictures after she friends me.  

One of my errands was renewing my car registration and I was surprised to find a deputy at the door making sure too many folks didn't come in and we were socially distanced.  Thank you for your service sir.  

Now for the rant.  Trump gassing protesters so that he could do a photo op at a church who did NOT give permission is the worst thing he's done yet.  I posted about it this morning with the Bible and all and I was astounded at the way some folks jumped up to defend him.  "At least he's holding a bible" said one chick.  Personally, that made it more heinous in my eyes.  Jesus doesn't like that kind of stuff.  

I'm beyond mad but I'm letting it go because it does nothing but bring me down.  I promise to focus more on the positive and show how we can come together as one united people.  And I rarely break that sort of promise.

Namaste ~

the reckoning

After a lot of thought and deliberation I finally listened to my inner voice.  That voice told me that as much as I want to get it behind me, I am not strong enough for surgery anytime soon because of the fall.  Therefore, we pushed my appointment date ahead to August.  The surgeon's staff is very mindful of my situation and attentive to my needs so I feel safe with that decision.  It is simply a matter of getting back the strength I had prior to the fall.  That was a huge nasty internal bruise and it will take time to heal just like the surgery did.   Patience, dear girl.  

Just like everybody else I'm thinking "what next."  The anarchy with random acts of kindness sprinkled in continues.  An arrest has been made in the arson case of the Nashville courthouse and it was a 25 year old white guy who was easily identified.  This is what is killing us folks.  Hooligans masquerading as legitimate protesters are turning things violent and it is happening all across the country.  Looters and hell raisers are intimidating all of us who want to protest peacefully.  I've seen a lot of good deeds done by police officers during some of these protests and that makes me feel good.  It is only by reaching out in love that peace can be found.  

I haven't been sleeping well and turned in at 5 o'clock yesterday for a long summer's nap until 7:30 this morning.  I feel a bit more rested but there will be some catchup to do on rest while gaining strength in both body and spirit.  It is definitely take care of me time and I can do that now.  

My little garden is looking good so far but you never know with such things.  I'm feeding and watering and there's plenty of sun to help.  I'll be happy if I produce anything...that will be a bonus.  It's just fun planning and executing a project like that.  

Y'all turn your flashlights on.  We need it now more than ever ^j^