Tuesday, December 17, 2013

twice a child

I got to sleep in this morning and it felt really REALLY good to do so. Our Christmas dinner at the sawmill was set for today planned to the last detail by my birth sister JoAnn. We were born on exactly the same day in the same hospital. I think she's older because she seems much wiser! The past five years with my parents has been a real struggle resulting in lots of spur of the moment cries for help or an ambulance. Mama refuses to sit in the chair and feel useless so she gets up now and then to "dust" and piddle. Without her walker. She started in on that today while Ms. Faye was cooking lunch and Daddy went ballistic like only a Stafford having a running fit can do. I had just finished my plate of delicious homemade fare when I got the call to come running. Daddy worked himself up into a frenzy and was cussin' like a sailor because she was up without the walker and is "gonna fall". His rants are becoming more and more powerful as he tries to cope with his own failing health and watch after her stubborn self. This woman who is blind is bound and determined to keep some sort of order in her world even if it means fumbling around and making an even bigger mess.

Anybody who knows the history would tell you that it's been a long ride and a constant battle of wills with my brother, daughter and I putting out fires as they pop up. At least I know not to expect wrecks anymore since we take them! That went on for about five years prior to five year segment. As their child, the eldest and only daughter, I've been given the unofficial title of volunteer fire department by my close proximity. Time and again I have found my mother crying uncontrollably over something that was either in the past or probably never going to happen. A worrywart, for sure. I was raised during a time in the south when women were just beginning to get out of debutante phase and sow some oats. Most of them, like me, got married young with all the trimmings that includes a 75 piece set of china and crystal that I never use.

I know that it's a blessing that I'm able to be with them at this time. Sometimes gifts come with accepting what is and working on a plan B all the while enjoying plan A to the hilt. My plate is full with that and more and I've soldiered on. That fall told me the other day that I'm not young anymore and it takes a body some time to heal. I got chosen picked by default today for delivery of our blessing. Most everybody was there when I got the call to leave and there will no doubt be pictures. Above and beyond the normal blessings, I thanked Big Ernie for the healing, both physical and emotional, that has taken place with our team this year. Our old friend Louise always shows up still and calls us on the 24th of every month without fail. Don't want anybody to miss out, ya know ;)

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