Monday, September 5, 2016

changing gears

It has taken me two days to realize that I have nowhere to go and I can wake up slowly.  This is a rare pleasure for me as I'm usually up and at 'em by 5AM.  What a great feeling to wake up and see the sun already climbing over the house!  I've been digging and organizing and absolutely love using baskets to sort with.  There is a pile by the door waiting to be loaded in the Camry for several friends.  

So much stuff from Casa Grands is in this house now that I actually catch a whiff of the homeplace when I pass by a piece like Daddy's dresser.  The grief is still fresh in many ways and it blindsides me without notice.  I've been so busy that there has really been no time to deal with the business of mourning.  That is what these days off are about to me.  Emotions bubble up every time I reach into a box of history.

It's quiet here with nothing but the hum of the refrigerator and a random dog snore.  I had intended with all my heart to go to opening night at the fair.   Emotionally, I'm a hot mess and the thought of taking this tired old body down the steps to the auditorium is something I can't fathom.  People will understand because they're good.  

Acceptance ~

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