Monday, March 28, 2016

workin' the steps

Anonymous groups do it faithfully.  If something has that much of a hold on you, whether it's porn or gambling or chemicals, there's not but one way out and that's up the ladder.  The old school way of looking at addiction served decades of people well during a time when mental health consisted of shock therapy and  more drugs.  We became enlightened later on and included addicts other than alcoholics to the fold, well...except for those old timers.  If you ain't a drunk, don't come to my meeting.  One of the hardest addictions I've found to let go of is control which is usually when I end up starting over. Again.

One of my co-workers told me I looked really tired this morning and she's never even noticed that before.  Everybody says that these days and I really am.  The decompression period is over and the grief pretty much comes reasonably so I feel the urgent need to just sleep a lot.  My house is pretty and not as cluttered and halfway clean so there you go.

It's chilly again but that won't last because it's Tennessee where you go from winter to summer in a week.  We were watching my new favorite show called Impractical Jokers yesterday when out of nowhere came a freaking monsoon from the south.  It last about ten minutes and sent baby's breath flying all over the place.  And still...the asparagus is absent, hiding from the mower guy.  Argggggggh!

The sawmill was the usual only not crazy busy during my shift, anyway.  I get calls at all times of the day and night about stuff and have actually been called out on not answering even when there is no compensation for that consult.  I suppose it comes with the hefty price of my hourly wage that I am to live and breathe work.  I am a lower middle class professional healthcare provider looking to retire within the next ten years.  And it doesn't look good.

That being said, Bernie is kicking ass and taking names and is gonna' behead all of ISIS and I can't wait.


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