Sunday, March 20, 2016

meet me in the middle

BG and me hit the road yesterday on a day trip to drop her off with childhood BFF Heather.  Because the Camry isn't interstate worthy, I rented one from Enterprise where Kendall runs the store like a professional.  And, of course, he's gotten a promotion and will soon be gone.  Hes served us before during the wreckathon of October.  I had made the reservation on Friday and hit the bank up early for some cash ONLY to find that they don't accept it because of holdups at gunpoint.  So.  Back to the bank and to pick up a piece of mail which is required for use of a debit card.  I was supposed to be getting a Fusion and got an upgrade to full size '15 Altima.  Can you say "car fever?"  Both Camry and Cadi,  neither road-worthy, are tied up in BK which is as Hoss would say "unfortunate."  Meanwhile, my credit score is excellent because everybody's getting paid as long as I'm working.

I've crunched the numbers on retirement and things don't look good for supporting my current lifestyle which is ridiculously simple.  I don't shop for fun, go out for dinner or otherwise do things that normal people do to blow off steam.  I don't like that kind of thing and that's okay.  My cage has been rattled again at the sawmill and it was a tough week what with that and all the flooding.  I am a really tough broad most of the time, but enough is enough.  The eternally upbeat doctor who heads our show gave me the best pep talk he could along the lines of "next week will be better!". And it will be.  I was so confused that I thought today was Easter thus the long ( and early ) Maundy Thursday reflection.  Today is REALLY the day that children worldwide will wave palm branches for a triumphal entry.

The coming week would be one of preaching and miracles, promise and betrayal.  The very people who had seen what he could do banded together and handed him over to Pilate.  It sounds impossible, but then we all do that every time we fail to act with love and faith.  What he did for them, and for us, in return for that betrayal was to give his life so that we might be forgiven.  My theory on forgiveness is this: If you don't know in your heart what you're doing is wrong,  it's not even really  something you're accountable for except to say "Hey, I was wrong." and ask for forgiveness.  It's always there.  Always.

The sinning part comes when you know an action results in harm to others or yourself and you do it anyway because it feels good.  That's why I don't really blame a lot of people for their actions because they are operating from some place of insecurity that manifests itself as control or survival.  When push comes to shove, anybody will throw you under the bus to save their own skin.

The neighbors invited me for dinner last night but I was already clean and snuggled up.  I hate to drive and it wears me out, even in a nice car.  I-40 is filled with trucks on any given day and it's also spring break so there you go.  We met at a Pilot center near Loretta Lynn's ranch which is still very much a thing.  Hurricane Mills, TN.  After I got home, I spent time on the phone with Cousin Clarence in Utah and  Mahala over there in the holler of NC.  Her voice sounded just like I expected it to and she caught me up on all the things that happened at the asylum.  Lerd.

Hosanna ~

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