Thursday, November 26, 2015

give thanks

I have this tune stuck in my head from church that starts with "give thanks to the lord above..." and I want to hear it but it's not in the hymnal and who knows who wrote it.  I remember hearing the choir perform it when  we returned to the fold as a family for something or other with BG in tow.  Our family had been separated and we were ( against all odds ) together church, no less.  Our spiritual upbringings couldn't have been more different with he as a walkaway from the wrath of God and me the faithful one believing in love and forgiveness.  In his eyes, he couldn't  allow himself to worship while he was still "sinning".  I never really understood that philosophy other than a way to avoid the whole thing.  I've been in and out of love with the church proper all my life, but never stopped believing in the goodness of humanity.  It is what makes the hellish dialogue that is our daily life worth struggling for.

Chicago is and always has been a tough town.  I cannot imagine being in law enforcement anywhere that big and crime ridden.  With that being said, I will tell you that if the work situation is so out of control that something like that tape I saw can happen, somebody needs EAP.  The officer in question had been reprimanded time after time for bullying incidents but no official action was ever taken.  Now, granted the tape was blurry and I didn't see the knife, only when dude shot his ass more than once on the ground.  And the talking heads say "this shit can be altered."  Alrighty then.  I guess that's why it took so long for it to be released ( without sound ) and viewed by the general public like me.  I'm sure he had a knife and was waving it around like they said.  He was running like a scalded dog when they cornered him  and probably way high. fill in the blanks.

We had a brief but enjoyable lunch at the home out of a Cracker Barrel box and the leftovers are in the frig.  Beats the hell out of cooking for a day.  Here there and everywhere people are gathered with their family du jour for a meal and some happy thoughts, well.  Except for the ones with drunk GOP uncles!  T and I had a three way convo with Peyton yesterday while I sought advice on wifi.  I am seriously glad we talked because I was about to make a HUGE mistake with a sat company.  Contracts are for the birds.

Somewhere in late spring of this year I could see that my ship was sinking and I needed relief.  That's when I visited BAD with the law dog and got my train on the right track.  There will be 5 years to pay and I might die before then but hopefully the court won't take my life insurance from BG.  She'll need that to move to Fiji and spread my ashes.  We are world weary around here to say the least and, at this point, just going through the motions.  Sometimes though, that's the best thing to do.

Keep on believing, no matter what.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

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