Thursday, September 18, 2014

true love

If I had a buck for every time I've given my heart and soul to a man who used me for undying adoration and an ego fix, I could immediately retire to Fiji with money left over to pay St. Peter at the gates of heaven because that is most certainly where I will go. All my friends were happy to see me back at work and I got to show off my scars and range of motion. Yesterday afternoon was my initial call to the local EMS inquiring about cash pay arrangements for Mama's transport in the morning. I told that month old story condensed to about five minutes about 18 times. At one point I was at the desk and flowers arrived with me just knowing they were for me! As it turns out it was Miss Anita's birthday eve and her bestie decided to start a day early. She was happier than anybody to see my faithful self show back up. They all wanted a Booger update and saw his latest pic looking all innocent and devil child at the same time. That little dude is tough to catch as fast as he moves. So, my brother is the original cheapskate who has his first buck framed and he challenged me to get a good price on the ride for Mama. The deal we were blessed with was about 1/3 as much as we expected. God is good, all the time.

So back to the adoration freak in me. I've done it time and time again, projecting my need to be loved onto various and sundry people...some of them men, who just don't feel the same. Usually there's a wife, character defect or some sort of trigger to that type of unavailability. Could just be me looking for a loving father figure, who the hell knows. At any rate, it's caused quite a bit of pain in and of itself but someone using that kind of knowledge as a weapon to cause hurt just seems pretty much evil. To be fair, none of them have ever felt the same way about ME so it was just me doing what I do best...playing the victim. I own that and say a hearty goodbye to the entire deal. Life is too short to spend with people who won't meet you halfway.

The leader of my class who just happens to be one of my best friend's sons has hooked us up with a terrific learning experience and a chance to network out the ass. As we all know, that's what's up besides ISIS and Joan Rivers' doc taking a selfie while doing that secret biopsy. Puleeez Louise. Wonder what the Kardashians are doing these days? Until Wednesday I can sure as hell stay in touch with 'em but it's just not the same without Chelsea after. Um, I mean lately.

Currently I'm listening to Del Rea Watson sing her heart out thanks to a hattip from my benefactor Count Zubrovka. Very tribal and quite spiritual which is what I need to get out of my stupid head and onto the yellow brick road. I'll text ya' when I find the wizard.

Still keepin' the faith here. Hope you are doing the same ^j^

1 comment:

  1. I can always count on you for a laugh or a smile, Poopster. I may be second in line about that giving-your-heart-to someone who ends up not caring, but for me, that was a long time ago and I'm over it.

    I got blood drawn today and on the way back to the car, my arm felt wet. Lo and behold I was bleeding out right there! That's never happened to me before and it was a bit scary - even though I have no fear of blood - my own or others. I had to run back to the lab and get a pressure bandage - perhaps that should have been done initially - seeing as how I'm old and likely to be on blood-thinners (although I am not.)