Friday, September 12, 2014

against the wind

Most of the time, that's how I feel about trudging onward when adversity comes to stay for a spell. My entire sick leave has been spent sleeping and multitasking. There are certain behaviors which I must own in order to get past, and I'm working on that. Still, I am perpetually surprised at the capacity of some to smack a girl when she's down. Me and Big Ernie had a chat about it earlier and he told me to let him have it. It's cooler now and the sun should come out tomorrow (tomorrow!tomorrow!)if the weather person is correct.

The loan check did finally arrive yesterday 7 days after the postmark and I was tickled to see the cute mailman pull up in the yard to deliver it EXCEPT...he had me sign for a registered letter from the IRS reminding them that I still owe then 900 bucks and some change. I say take it out of the salaries of Congress and we'll call it even. The GOP won again yesterday with their unanimous defeat (by filibuster, of course) of Common Cause. I hear a lot of bullshit about how the Dems get all their PAC money from labor organizers so what's the difference, they say. ONE HELLUVA lot asshats! I read a piece yesterday by Michael Moore who is not to happy with our POTUS right now that said, in effect, that perhaps bin Laden won after all. This is what I say about ISIS and that whole argument: Drone the holy shit out of 'em but no more boots on the ground kind of crap. It never ends well, if you know what I mean. One more life lost because of these idiots would be too many.

Just like clockwork, my duties as a case manager for Mom have kicked in and I'm fielding calls from a teary woman who got told she might go to a town an hour away. We specifically did not tell her prior to the evaluation because of the way she worries and frets over every little thing. Somebody spilled the beans this morning without giving us a heads up so there you go. I explained it all in a calm voice giving objective options A and B and the price of each. The rest is up to she and Daddy. BG just went to Hastings to try and sell some of these bazillion books and they only bought four at a whopping price of 4.75 in store credit. So much for that idea! I guess it's time to crank up the antique sale once again. You can't take it with you.

I've cried every day for a week over one thing or another and sometimes multiples. I watched the memorial video from the DHS Class of '74 and sobbed all the way through. Lots of deceased schoolmates. I'm a tender hearted soul anyways and all it takes is a day without a happy pill to send me into the ugly cry. I have five days between me and real life and I'm not feeling real prepared. On the other hand, maybe a routine will be better than a 24/7 piddle and nap fest. We shall see. There is a dog bed that laid in the flower bed for six months and I pulled it out and cleaned it. Now all four of them take turns napping at the "special spot" in my bedroom floor. The other three guessed it. On MY bed.

My brother,daughter,mother,father and I have just finished a conference call of sorts on mama's "situation" and there's a lot of angst and drama floating around not to mention self pity and fear. I'm just sittin' here saying "ohmmmm" and taking deep breaths.

Ya'll help me keep the faith ^j^

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