Monday, September 22, 2014

rock me mama like a wagon wheel

There are things that I see at times which I've not noticed before because I had my blinders on. The type and extent of um, how you say.....selective blindness has a lot to do with trust and lack of experience in certain situations. Once I am smacked in the face with a lesson I will probably make the same mistake a few more times until ultimately, it schools me in reality.. For all of the pain that I've experienced because I've allowed others to control my destiny and my life, there has been an element of willingness most every time. Until my mind hears the "click", that is. Once that snaps, it's all over but the leaving. I've left a lot of people at the train station emotionally because they have done things to intentionally (or not) hurt me in the course of sticking to their own agendas. As we all know the biggest problem for those of a co-dependent nature is that we are not strong enough to be assertive particularly in difficult situations. Looking back over the past five years I can honestly say that I should have quit giving all of me to those who demanded it a long time ago. Like the man said, I did it to myself. My standard response over the past five years to being over stressed has been to cry in spite of SRUIs and phone therapy. I won't dare go into all of the issues involved but trust me, they are layered out the ass and cover every area of my life. It's my choice to finally grow up and be who I am no matter what anybody else thinks or wants.

I was kind of shocked yesterday to see a random angry post by someone on another person's wall, both of whom I know. I sent the poster a private message asking "why the rant?" and got told in no uncertain terms that if I had the nerve to ask that question then I didn't know jackshit. Alrighty then. Please see previous paragraph concerning lessons learned. Had I not asked, I wouldn't know the history so there ya' go. Lemonade out of a lemon! Kimowasi planted a Darius Rucker seed in my mind when she went to his concert in the Garden and I'm glad Hootie left the Blowfish for this new career. Her friend Jennie P and I have been brainstorming about job opps and that may be something that gets incorporated into the business plan at some point. There are so many young people with educations that this job market simply does not place value on. If the world is gonna' be saved, they're the ones to do it because most of them have a good set of skills that we baby boomers taught them to go along with all that book learning. Well, except for the Koch brothers' grandchildren. A bachelor's degree means nada in today's world unless you have the family $$ or Sugardaddy to back it up.

Mama is wore out from therapy at the "new" home where they work you so you can get back to from whence you came, which in her case was flat on the bathroom floor with a broken femur. I'm working through the pain of using my shoulder more and more without much problem. I've been told it takes about a year to recover which I totally didn't realize but whatever. It is what it is. We'll be road tripping to see the patient tomorrow afternoon and I should get back just in time for class. As for the headlines, Congress is out (AGAIN) so they can all hit the campaign trail before the mid-terms. I don't care, I mean it's not like they've accomplished a damn thing. Do would you like for that to be your legacy? ISIS wants us all to feel unsafe in our bedrooms which is pretty bizarre considering they have to get past my dogs. It they're going to come and behead me I'd just as soon not know ahead of time. Just saying.

Evidently I have a style that is recognizable now because a cousin/friend told me the other day he's got tales that need to be told. Don't we all honey! He is one of two attorney cousins who live large and belong to mama's side. Don't ask me to diagram it, I just know my kin. The other dear one is a former car salesman who kept me in Camrys from the first year they came on the market in '84. I was a pregnant cow with BG on board when we bought that first one in April. I've never looked back at American made in the vehicle department. There is just no comparison in my book. In other news, my melungeon friend Mahala who lives in the 'holler in North Carolina got rid of a giant pain in her ass at work and she's probably STILL doing the happy dance. Joe is the cheesecake king of Canada and fairy blogmother is helping to cure Alzheimer's. All is well with the world.

Call your mother. Pay it forward. Keep the faith ^j^

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