Monday, August 15, 2016

letting go with dignity

I feel a whinefest coming on so it might as well be here on the internet where I feel heard.  After I fell and dislocated my finger then worked two days with it I noticed that my head had a sore spot and like ALL my joints hurt.  Now either I have Lyme disease or that fall was a bit worse than I remember.  It did ring my bell, literally.  The soreness from an injury like that takes awhile to show up except in the case of crooked dead finger which was immediately apparent.  Even my neck muscles were sore.  

With the sale date fast approaching I busted my smart ass every day off I've had for the past couple of weeks.  Yesterday as I sat at that massive oak table with my brother wandering around, it sank in that home really is going away.  We are a unique family in that my parents lived in one spot for 61 years and we all grew up as a farm family old school style.  Telling the history of the place as we prepare to end that chapter is bittersweet.  The heritage of this village runs deep and stays alive only because of the passion of our forefathers for telling stories and recording history in the making.  When I look at the headlines right now, I see nothing as interesting as the past.  

I remember the day we took Mom away from her home for the last time in early September last year.  We made it an event and visited often.When Millette drove away with Mama behind the moving van, Bubba and I had an ugly cry moment before we headed out.  Worse than the funeral. that month before.  The dynamics of this past year could be made into a hit movie because UCMTSU.  

I miss my BG something awful but it's time for her to soar which is all I ever wanted.  She has a good solid support system and so do I.  Sometimes you just gotta' be pitiful to be strong again.  If someone is kind enough to validate your pain, you've got a friend.  

^j^


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