Tuesday, May 31, 2016

more of the same

Vacation was lovely while it lasted.  I returned this morning at the buttcrack of dawn to face layers of issues that are so out of my hands it ain't even funny.  I prayed all the way there never expecting what ultimately happened.  From experience, I should have known better.  If the intention was to make me feel one inch tall, mission accomplished.  It was just one more nail in the coffin that is my lifelong career.  There comes a time when it just doesn't matter anymore and it is what it is.  Once a person has burned out peaked careerwise, they are a liability to some companies and that seems to be the case with me.  I have six years until anything resembling a possibility for retirement so something has to give.  And it will most likely be my soul.  Much of it I have done to myself by propping up a system where I did more than I should have at times, and not nearly enough at others.  I own that like the big girl that I am.

Much is said about the current generation and their work ethic in the sense that they don't see upward mobility as a priority.  They have seen what happened with my generation and the multiple crash and burn scenarios involving corporate America.  Compliance and progress mean change and that's a good thing when it's handled properly.  I try really hard to not let the trauma of the past year color my outlook but the truth is plain and simple...I am still grieving in a lot of ways and will be for some time.  Empathy is the ability to see that in another person and feel their pain.  It is a rare gift that many people do not have.  It can be dangerous when there are no boundaries, but with those in place it's a gray area for compromise vs black and white mentality.  A lot can be accomplished that way.

The Camry had a low tire and I had to all act like a girl during lunch and get help putting the air in because I was too traumatized to think straight at that moment.  God love him for not being down right nasty like the cocky little manager at the chicken store.  I had picked up some cigs on the way to town this morning and the clerk gave me the wrong kind.  I noticed it and returned AFTER work to swap them out.  He promptly explained to me that the FDA forbids that even though it was HIS employee that made the mistake.  I have seen this guy publicly humiliate every cashier in that store and cringed over it.  Stick it up your ass dude.  From now on I'll go to money mike's

As for me and mine, we will think unicorns and rainbows.  And above all.....peace.

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