Tuesday, May 3, 2016

forward motion

I'm creeping along, but still moving which goes to show you that determination trumps fatigue, for today anyhow.  I'm sitting under the central air away from outdoor pollen and listening to music on my itty bitty phone because that's how I roll.  Without buds, by the way.  But even there, the ads are everywhere.  I'm in a 2 year TV contract and never turn it on except for an occasional random search.  I definitely miss BG in that respect because she recorded all the good stuff.  I'm rummaging through piles and posted some old pics of high school friends many MANY moons ago.  We've all gone our separate ways over the past 40 plus years, but we never forget to walk on the wild side.

My mind has been opened on a number of levels over the past years.  I've learned a lot about how a grieving family stresses and breaks then comes back together without the others.  Sometimes sudden, often prolonged....death comes randomly according to lifestyle and heredity and choices made.  Sometimes it's just a "shit happens" kind of deal.  I truly believe that the good lord knows the time and circumstances so that's one less thing to worry about.  That being said, life is short so get with it Poops.  I'm dreaming again and seeing possibility where I never thought it would be in my life.  It is acceptance and letting go and it feels mighty good.  The clock is steady ticking.

The beach looks a little closer and I'm glad not to be there lately with the monsoons and such.  I would be sooooooo pissed if I didn't get at least one sunny day out of it.  I can play cards anywhere, ya know?  I was a lifeguard at the Moose Pool during  high school summers and that's what we did when the rains came and we had to kill time until the sun came out.  Spades and Hearts all the way baby.    We flipped burgers, made cokes and babysat for a bazillion kids whose parents dropped them off or settled in for some quality time with them.  I can tell it now because the statue is up but I was once impaired on the lifeguard stand.  The water was to die for gorgeous if you get my drift.  I never had to dive in and save anybody but I did pull a few out of the deep when somebody got stupid.

Grace ~

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