word power

For many folks sharing emotions is not something that comes with their skill set.  My father is one of those   and I know why so it's okay.  I have written about he and my mother and their families for years, detailing little skeletons in the closet and whatnot. Mom is mortified that somebody might know who I'm talking about but it's pretty much one of those "you gotta' know those people" reads unless I'm on a rant.  For most of my mother's life she has been a perfectionist and over achiever...always the hostess with the mostest.  The problem was all those extra pounds she carried and what it did to her self esteem and knees 30  years down the road.   For some odd reason when I started to feel the pain of trying to be her and fix all that I just lost it and promptly went into therapy.  I called her out yesterday for being self centered in the midst of a serious family event and lovingly sternly told her it's about more than whether her face is red from crying. She's still a bit huffy over that.

Daddy didn't look good yesterday so I got on the phone and talked to a lot of people about getting him closer to me so we can do lunch or something.  My new best friend Shala even found a channel guide for him!  We'll see if the hospitalist and surgeon can manage this while the PCP vacations in France.  Dude can't hear thunder without his hearing aids.

Sawmill?  Always chaos on Monday and a remodel underway next door to us.  There is HVAC work going on and still we soldier through it.  I remember the time that Forcum Lannom re-designed our old lab on the west wing.  There was sawdust everywhere as they made benches  and we ran tests.  Speaking of dust, Noler's ashes are still in a box in BG's room waiting for transport to parts  unknown.  Time will tell.

If ever there was a day I needed a benzo to help me cope today was it.  I haven't seen a healthcare practitioner in eons and feel seriously overdue for self care.  I may be co-dependent, but I ain't stupid.

faith~