hurry up and wait

BG can testify that I'm  pretty impatient at times but will hang with the best of them when there's a chance of something good happening.  I got two frantic phone calls yesterday afternoon after leaving the hospital reporting very bad O2 sat numbers on Daddy.  The junk in his lungs is moving around and getting suctioned on a regular basis while he struggles to live.  For some odd reason I woke up at 4:30 this morning and called to check in with the nurse.  She reported a "good" night.  It is touch and go and they seem to be slammed today so who knows now.  They have my  number.

Mom is finally getting the carpet clean which has been something she's worried over for months, but then she worries over every little thing and would run the world if she could see.  Considering all the recent medical care there have been lots of EOBs in the mailbox next to the State Gazette.  That cute hot mailman in a van delivers to them too.  Must be running late today...probably Obama's fault.  This guy actually throws dog treats.  Gotta love the USPS.

BG and Mom are headed  for the hospital while I piddle in the yard since it's less than a hundred 100 degrees with a breeze. Our healthcare culture puts a lot of stress on physicians in the form of malpractice which many have found drives them to work for corporate.  It's not unusual to find entire systems of Wall Street commodities buying up clinics and whatnot.  They are "feeders" for the network of acute care facilities that bill Medicare and private insurance for billions yearly.  And their shareholders get a return on their investment.  It pays my rent and gives me opportunities to learn new things so I can't bitch much. There is a certain someone planning a trip to the 'burg whose neck I can't WAIT to hug.  Sugardaddy perhaps?



                                        

dead elvis

I was a recent graduate of an allied health program when the King died back in '77.  I remember driving the interstate hearing about all the hoorah coming up what with him being autopsied at Baptist by a team that included Dr. Flo among others.  I never was a fan so I didn't really understand what was so big about an aging rock star killing himself slowly.  Yeah, fools fall in love but, no to the impersonators in Vegas or your local corner bar.  There's a guy named Shelby around here somewhere who does that for kicks.

Daddy rallied today when we all came to visit and coughed up a bunch more shit probably so he can continue to enjoy UT football.  Don't tell the collectors but there's a piece of the old field at Neyland framed upstairs along with a lot of other orange things.  He is a rabid sports fan and continues to watch golf when cable allows in ICU.  I got more hugs today than I've had in a year and I seriously needed them.  That's what's up with Big Ernie and the universe.

I've spent a lot of time bitching and moaning about how hard it is to work at the sawmill and as we all know, that's how you vent and move on.  I don't care how many freakin' conservatives tell you that healthcare isn't a right, I believe that it is just without the profit motive.  It's a doable thing if only folks will begin to step up and explore their own life choices. I was raised a Christian and still believe but am firmly against any sort of mixing and mingling of church and state.  As for ISIS and all them, it has always been thus and so.  Just ask my Daddy.

^j^

  

divided we fall

It really disturbs me to see two camps of folks at war with each other over what is the worst tragedy, Cecil or Sandra.  There is a special place in hell for the perpetrators of both hideous acts and I know that because, karma.  She's a bitch!  I wore my Poehler/Fey "bitches get stuff done" shirt to the hospital for a daddy visit and you should have seen my mother's face when I told her what it said.  "You can't DO that!" she said.  Hmmm.  Hide and watch.  We visited for a short while and held Daddy's hands.  He opened his eyes once but is still mighty weak and will be getting nutrition via hyperalimentation which I had to Google.  Long.Road.

I emailed my class facilitator to thank her for understanding why I had to bolt on Friday.  This project isn't even done and I've learned enough to start another one which is much more attainable involving blood utilization.  People seem to forget that when someone gives their blood it's a damn shame to waste it because too many folks depend on it in crisis.  It was so sad after 9/11 when all those thousands of people donated and none of it was used. Every 56 days y'all.  Make it a habit if you're healthy.  The more dedicated of donors will do pheresis where the components like platelets and plasma are removed.  In the old days blood was separated out manually into the different cells and whatnot.  It all comes to us leukoreduced which means there's less chance of a reaction.  See? We both learned something today.

Today should be the hottest which is pretty damn steamy already, before noon.  I heard rumors of a cool(er) front that will drop us ten degrees to around 90 and I'll take that.  Plus a little less humidity thankyouverymuch.  Let's all hold hands and pray for the  TVA grid to hold up.

Peace~

halls of justice

Little did I know that I had walked smack into the aftermath of a double murder trial when I went to pay my ticket.  I passed the judge on my way in and found several law enforcement officers hanging around.  There was chatter of a verdict as my friend passed by but I didn't have a clue what had just happened in that courtroom.  I remembered being a prospective juror this time last year and shuddered to think about this one.  The accused received two consecutive life sentences for the grisly murder of his family members. According to him there were Mexican drug runners involved which is most likely true.  That being said, when you keep company with that sort of folk you end up in the hooskow at 25 because they all have connections and will let homeboy take the fall.  Prison is probably the safest place at this point.  Lake county has their share of drama, I must say but then all rural habitats do.  The counties situated along the Mighty Mississippi are all based on farming and transport clear to the gulf.

I'm loving all the conservative backing away from Trump because it's funny to watch them squirm.  I agree with him on two things only: student loans and Sandra's treatment on a Texas roadside.  I mean dude...you know the camera is on...WTF???  Thus the current talking point about THC being a dangerous drug that causes violent behavior.  This woman was being harassed by an officer of the law way past the point of being legal.  Light me up with a taser?  Somebody watched Mad Max too many times.

Planned Parenthood is an organization that has contributed many things to women's reproductive health.  My personal opinion and that of my mentor is that federal funding should be removed so that there are no rules and regs on how services are rendered.  A single payer would give women the right to choose what they do about their own bodies without interference from government and religion.  It could be done easily with grant funding and private donations and with a reasonable premium.  Preventive care is major.  Hep C is a public health crisis among baby boomers.  Pap smears and mammos should be free.  It saves a whole helluva lot of money down the line, if you know what I mean.

We have new favorites thanks to no cable including OITNB and Shameless.  I even liked Sons of Anarchy which totally surprised me.  It wasn't scorching hot this morning so I did a little gardening after checking in on a sleeping Mama.  She was alarmed that the paper was in and the door unlocked!   She was sawing logs when I left.  Daddy is holding his own in ICU with lots of good care thanks to my co-workers.  He won't ask for pain meds so they're going by his heart rate to figure that piece out.  Lungs are in progress being suctioned and improving.  Getting sick and getting well are hard work.

I found another squash this morning that's frying size so that's what's for dinner.  Peace and grace to all y'all and your momma'n'them.

^j^

smokin' hot

Now granted, the past few summers have been rather mild as in nothing over a hundred.  I remember the year that BG graduated from college when we had six straight weeks in the 90s and my AC bill was 350 plus for three months straight.  Ah...the good old days.  We went to the beach that year in May and had a blast.  Wonder when we can manage to get back?  I'm thinking spring.  

Today involved off-site work with a selected population so I stayed in touch with Daddy's nurse by phone in between visits.  He's weak and resting up for the fight ahead.  I heard that all of his docs were on board and consulting this morning so there's that.  Lauren has gone now to take Mom for a little visit in the one vehicle that we have with air.  And the front right tire is almost flat.  *sigh*

The home called and said that they might need Daddy's spot  for "somebody" so I schlepped on over there to get his stuff which included lots of Hershey bars and birthday cards.  This journey began a month ago with a late night EMS call and it's been a Chinese fire drill ever since.  Sorry if that offends any of my Asian friends but it is what it is.  My next to last stop was to pay the ten dolla' fine for not wearing my seat belt while transporting my mama back from a pre-July 4th visit to the home.  Court was this morning and, of course, I missed it.  I will be late for my own funeral.  

The big red truck is still sitting out there in the heat locked up tight as a drum.  When time and temperature allow, we'll deal with that and other things.  Right now, it's just best to hunker down in the cool air and keep faith ^j^

running stafford fits

Anybody who has known my daddy will tell you that if you haven't seen one of those outbursts, you should be VERY afraid.  That hair trigger temper and a dose of smartass little man syndrome give you a good old southern ag man who works hard and rarely plays except for bowling and poker with the guys.  Penny ante, no less.  They played in the old Vaughn's record store downtown which is where I spent all my Xmas club money one year on 45s.  Yes, I'm that old.   My father loves this country and we have had plenty of conversations about me being a liberal and not wanting to salute a local Vietnam war vet who was his friend. His service time was done during the Korean conflict and there was assignment in the Azores close to Portugal.  I still have the basic language book from that trip along with a conch he brought back from Miami when he was sent to meet the boat people from Cuba.  That was about retirement time.

There have never been a lack of opportunity for improvement on this farm.  My father and brother have molded it into what it is which is a little slice of heaven with some somewhat toxic farming practices.  Slowly but surely we are living out our past and preparing for something different, each of us in our own way.  That we have been allowed this many years as guests on such a beautiful place is indeed grace.  I am growing yellow squash and 'maters in my father's honor this year, all straw bail-i-fied.

Mama is scared but then we all are.  Our future as a family here is dependent on the generosity of those who receive the legacy of the farm and keep it alive.  An entire chapter in history has been played out on this patch of land and I know every player along the way.  One of the strangest things is that Noler's grandaddy got shot at a bar across the road called Cottons.  It fronted as a grocery store but river access gave them a great way to smuggle booze.  It was hidden from the road by cotton and other crops and most likely a bunch more trees than are there now.  Where the Quinns lived.  Old Mr. Roy was all the way past our log cabin and halfway to the slough. Martin Ware the horse whisperer lived in a freaking schoolbus at the end of Pecan Lane with mules.  You can't make this shit up.  The Johnson family has been here the entire time with us, spanning several generations.  I need to go give Mozella her B12 shot when I'm not doing what I do.  Daddy was resting when I left looking peaceful and all and I was tired so there you go.  Once again let me say that knowing who has your back is always something to be counted as a blessing.

^j^

the universe provides

Like many people, I tend to be impatient with the process of letting life unfold as it should.  Always one to need a plan or two, I set myself up for failure and drama every time.  For years I've been trying to convince my parents that assisted living would be just what the doctor ordered, and now Daddy's health issues will make that decision for them.  I sincerely adore not being the bad guy in that one.

One of my co-workers offered me today off since we weren't real sure about how the surgery was gonna' go. I stopped by there to approve my time after checking into the unit with my favorite nurse Doreen.  RT was there monitoring the C-pap and there are good doctors on call for the weekend.  He tried to talk to me, probably wanting to know if I had his ring, watch and phone.  I just patted him and told him to rest.  There is a certain peace in walking away from a seriously ill loved one knowing they're in good hands.

I plan to use this day wisely, centering and focusing on myself.  When life gets tough, the wise take a break when the cosmos allows.  Thanks for the continual support and love.  It means more than words can describe.

^j^

modern medicine

Five hours after my father went to surgery, we're still waiting to hear what's up.  That's a long time for an old guy to be under so he'll be having mechanical ventilation for awhile.  I knew when I walked in this morning that things were bad  and I was right.  He kept whispering to me and I couldn't figure it out without putting my ear next to his voice.  Since I was scheduled for a class  today I showed up and made an effort but quickly took an exit when I found him incoherent with doc at bedside.  Risks were explained and outcomes discussed.  There was no choice other than to die from a massive infection.  I took the ring, watch and cellphone again and dropped them in my purse.  My brother was there off and on as well as cousin Mo who is named after Mama.  She's a hotel design artist and foodie who always makes me laugh.  We talked about putting Mom on some swimmies and plopping her into an inner tube over at Doris's old house on Summer. I've yet to get wet in that pool.  Speaking of cousins, Freddie and Marilyn just stopped by for a rolling hug.

There's a small plane in the air nearby, possibly spraying crops or some other toxic thing.  It's hotter than shit and humidity is about 100%+.  Pure July in TN if you know what I mean.  We are consistently in the mid to high 90s these days and as we all know, Poopie hates to sweat.  As gawd is my witness, I'll never be hot again!  BG got her hair did today and it's much prettier than mine so I must have a weave if the $ holds out. If not, I'll just go gray.

Whatever happens here, I know that I've done right by my parents.  And that?  Is one of the Big Ten.  

hair day

I haven't had a haircut in a long time.  My friend Chucky did the deed this morning and we talked about everything under the sun while Cream played in the background.  For 45 minutes, the master worked and waved his hands and I now have a hairstyle that allows me to smile.  Nothing is as depressing as having ugly hair up in a clip all summer.  A few highlights by Jennifer will be my next move.  I passed Mama on her way to get hers did at Angel's because we MUST get the big hair at least once a week, almost always on Thursday.  It's raining off and on and she has to go see Daddy so we'll see how all that goes.  She may require a WalMart sack for protection of said hairdo.    

Daddy remains in the hospital because of umm..several reasons and it's the best place at the moment for him. The surgeon is  hard to catch as usual but the nurse is trying to pin him down to look at the whole big hernia festival he's got going on.  It's a lot to have going on for an 84 year old guy, no matter how tough he is. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes and please keep 'em coming.  

Today is devoted to me, whatever strikes my fancy to do or think or listen to.  The rain overnight soaked the mini-garden out back where squash is doing well and there is finally one tiny green tomato.  The barn lot pigweed got cut and I about has an asthma attack this morning right after the heavy rain.  I hear others say the same thing, and we are grateful for the rain that makes the humidity that makes us sweat like hogs.  

And Amen ^j^

fathers...be good to your daughters

John Mayer is one of my ultimate musical heroes and that song just resonates with me about the perfect idea of parenting.  So many times it's not that way through no fault of their own.  We are born into an imperfect world from parents who are probably totally confused about everything and everybody and who do the best they can for the kids.  All kids need diapering and feeding and guidance until they are of adult age when they may or may not grow into useful and inquisitive adults.  Or they give the eff up and live off the government and support conservative redneck candidates who are racists and bigots and liars carrying the Holy Bible as their torch.  That type of ignorance is bred and usually ends up hurting a lot of people.  See: Charleston. Chattanooga. Ferguson, on and on and amen.  Just STOP IT!

I have an evangelical friend who believes that using fetal tissue for research is like the worst sin ever because babies are being murdered.  An organization that has dealt responsibly with planned parenting for many years is being attacked in the name of anti-abortion activism.  I say to you who feel this way....have your church raise these unplanned children in other ways than vacation bible school.  Personally, I am not in favor of abortion when there is a decent chance for that child to grow and learn and break the cycle.  In today's society, that is often not the case.  Women's reproductive rights are being governed decades after Roe v Wade became law.   That's probably a factor in the national debt that's "obama's fault."  

James Taylor is one artist with whom I've spent many many hours of listening pleasure and a friend pointed out to me how if he had given in to his addictions years ago he wouldn't still be creating music that is timeless. That same friend sent me a personally made copy of Copperline that I still play on occasion.   His name is Mark and he is a fine musician who always leaves room for the drummer.  

I was blessed with the opportunity to spend surgery day with my father while at work.  Removing his ring and watch this morning I dropped them in my pocket along with his phone which charged all day on TinaBelle's device.  By the time he was recovered I replaced that 60 year old wedding band and put the watch on upside down.  Patrick rolled him back to the room where his TV works and MBP took over.  I left knowing he's in good hands.  Mom has worried all day so she's relieved that it's over and arranging things over at the home for him remotely.  Not many paid days left y'all.  We may have to move onto Plan C.  Friday is class which means I get hit with balls because I'm always late coming back from breaks. Since I'm ADD  the chaos of multiple teams working in a confined space kind of works on my head but it's nice to be out of the box.  There is a chick on video constantly recording all that team building and whatnot.  It better work.

My Wednesday is your Thursday.  See you at the sawmill ^j^  

tale of two surgeries

A little over two weeks ago my daddy was taken to the local ER and found to have a strangulated hernia with bowel involvement.  It was very painful and he actually ASKED to be taken.  When he finally made it into the OR two days later, it was discovered that an old hernia repair site had infected mesh down really deep.  He was closed up and sent to a SNF for evacuation of the wound.  That went on until Thursday of last week and the treatment nurse said it appeared to be clearing up.  When we saw the doctor he removed the apparatus and found that the site was still infected and quite um...gross down deep.  His take on the situation was that it was too deep for the tubing to reach so he just bandaged it and said it would have to be surgically repaired on Tuesday.  I called on Friday to see if all the t's were crossed and there were no arrangements made.  Ditto for Monday.  That's when I went apeshit good daughter and called the substitute PCP for a hospital admit to get the ball rolling.  His partner had given report before he left the country.

A direct admit involves bypassing the ER and all the duplication of services that are involved with that route which is a good fit for those with recent health issues.  He was put in a room on our favorite floor and moved promptly front and center when the closer room was vacated.  As of this morning, nobody knew anything about a surgery that was supposed to happen today.  I notified the office that if there wasn't some kind of plan by the end of the day we would be doctor shopping.  Then (miraculously) all doctors involved began  to communicate and I negotiated with my favorite to get it on the schedule in the morning.  Their plan was to put it on the end of today's schedule after the surgeon had been in the office all day.  *Not.  That would mean hours of OR and recovery with everybody sitting on pins and needles waiting to see how it went.  Mom has a new best friend who is an honest to goodness taxi driver for seven bucks one way and I'm her ride home. Daddy got to eat and will be NPO after midnight like everybody else pre-op.  I just could not handle the thought of remotely or even in person doing one.more.night in that hospital after being there day in and day out.  I'll let y'all know how things go.  Prayers are welcomed and appreciated.

Lord help those who don't know what's going on with their healthcare or have an advocate who does.  The biggest barrier to quality care is lack of communication.  Had we known on Thursday that surgery would be Wednesday everybody could make plans accordingly.  I mean, I work there...imagine what it would be like to not know when you needed to take off from your job to be present for a loved one's surgery.  It's insane and why Medicare reimbursement is now based on patient satisfaction.  There are so many places in the chain where the ball can be dropped and nobody catches it or even realizes the impact that it has on the patient and family.  I did, however, see the surly housekeeper almost smile for the first time today.  She puts her cards out and trolls the halls looking for cleaning ops on the primo floor. I'll probably get dooced for all this but I could care less right now.  I am, as they say,  past all that.

^j^

 

word power

For many folks sharing emotions is not something that comes with their skill set.  My father is one of those   and I know why so it's okay.  I have written about he and my mother and their families for years, detailing little skeletons in the closet and whatnot. Mom is mortified that somebody might know who I'm talking about but it's pretty much one of those "you gotta' know those people" reads unless I'm on a rant.  For most of my mother's life she has been a perfectionist and over achiever...always the hostess with the mostest.  The problem was all those extra pounds she carried and what it did to her self esteem and knees 30  years down the road.   For some odd reason when I started to feel the pain of trying to be her and fix all that I just lost it and promptly went into therapy.  I called her out yesterday for being self centered in the midst of a serious family event and lovingly sternly told her it's about more than whether her face is red from crying. She's still a bit huffy over that.

Daddy didn't look good yesterday so I got on the phone and talked to a lot of people about getting him closer to me so we can do lunch or something.  My new best friend Shala even found a channel guide for him!  We'll see if the hospitalist and surgeon can manage this while the PCP vacations in France.  Dude can't hear thunder without his hearing aids.

Sawmill?  Always chaos on Monday and a remodel underway next door to us.  There is HVAC work going on and still we soldier through it.  I remember the time that Forcum Lannom re-designed our old lab on the west wing.  There was sawdust everywhere as they made benches  and we ran tests.  Speaking of dust, Noler's ashes are still in a box in BG's room waiting for transport to parts  unknown.  Time will tell.

If ever there was a day I needed a benzo to help me cope today was it.  I haven't seen a healthcare practitioner in eons and feel seriously overdue for self care.  I may be co-dependent, but I ain't stupid.

faith~

middle of the road

One of the cool things about living where I do is that once you get past the dangerous crossover on the highway, it's acceptable to drive down the middle until you get to Pecan Lane and take a left where you may ALSO drive all over the road.  I just came back from a ginormous garbage haul and observed South Dyersburg with sadness rather than the usual rush rush of my daily commute.  The former grocery store that I visited every day is now a parking lot for farm equipment.  The two gas stations close by and the dolla' gentral are what we have in this food desert.  That is unless you count the squash I have growing.  Those two floods ravaged the place and it will forevermore be a memory to many folks.  The crackhead motel next door was demolished and sits empty waiting for a business opportunity.  The owner said she's going to plant dogwoods.

12 hours sleep helps an old girl out a lot, and so does Benadryl.  An old friend came to visit yesterday bearing gifts and we enjoyed catching up on every little thing.  I was in bed by six if that tells you anything about the level or weariness I feel.  It's like a hamster wheel of sorts, going around and around in circles trying to "get there" and there doesn't exist.  I see everybody doing it trying to juggle work and family responsibility.  Yet, nobody is getting ahead except for the rich ones who are already there.  Yeah, that means you Kochs and Trump.  I'll throw Soros in there too so the conservatives will have something to nibble on.

My work peeps just called to settle a disagreement about blood and it was an easy one.   TinaBelle won hands down!  It reminded me that we all need to talk more about processes and whatnot.  Most of the time we're just too busy trying to keep the boat floating.  I got a call this morning from the home saying that Daddy fell during the night and has a little skin tear on his head.  Unfortunately that's part of eldercare and they have to be reported, by law.  Mom and I are going to visit after while with more clothes.  He could care less what he's wearing as long as the TV works.

As Old Horsetail Snake would say "and so it goes."

in the dark

My house is so old that many of the light fixtures don't work and the windows are covered with sweat so it's sort of hard to see up in here except for the kitchen.  The ceiling fans have maybe one bulb each where the others have blown up and I just haven't turned the main breaker to dig them out.  It is, as we say in the South, sultry.  I'm awake by daylight so I've gotten some laundry and bills done plus a little organization of papers.  I seriously need some Adderol to help with that!

Exactly four weeks after Pnoler's death a big red wrecker pulled into our yard with his red Dodge on board. I still had in my mind the days when a truck carried the vehicle up in the air on a chain.  The price was reasonable on the tow and I just added it to what I paid on the Camry repair.  They will also be the ones who install door handles and tail light when purchased from the scrap yard up the road.  Yo Patterson Brothers...y'all rock.

We're still in purgatory on surgery and other arrangements until one of the docs returns from Europe and the other has time to do the procedure.  The maintenance guy fixed Daddy's TV and he's happy with channel 3. Mama is about to worry herself to death over him having underwear and whatnot but it gives her something to plan so that's always good.  I've stepped back and let her do it as long as she can.  I refuse to be the devil any longer.

Babyman spent the night with us and went to see the Minions yesterday during matinee hours.  He knows all his body parts now and talks a LOT.  I've not laid eyes on him in a couple of weeks and it's amazing how quickly they change.

As I got in the car to go to Walmart ( where i said i'd never go again ) shopping for the grands I realized I didn't have the card and BG had lost it only it was in her jeans pocket, thank you sweet baby jeebus.  By then, I was out of the mood.  I hate to shop.....literally.  If I can do it online, so it shall be.  If I could buy food that way, I'd do that too.

It's too hot for much of anything but housework.  Fortunately, there's plenty of that around here.  Peace out.

birthday boy

Billy G or "uncle Billy" as he is universally known, made it to the age of 84 today to enjoy a visit with his bride and grandgirl bearing cupcakes.  I scurried on home from the sawmill since I spent quality time yesterday in the doc's office with him and even saw his butt.  We still don't have a surgery date but that will come in its' own time just like all things. I'm so bad about trying to make a plan and execute without thinking things through. This past month has taught me that  shit happens when you least expect, often in successive blows.  Then, there goes your plan A so you better have a B and C.

In case y'all think Amy Schumer is something new let me remind you that I was LMFAO at this chick years ago.  We are big fans of comedy and the women just really rock.  To this day I'm still FB friends with Julie Scoggins whom I met in Jackson at their club on somebody's birthday.  She's a "thing" now all hooked up with John Boy and Billy.  Rock on people.

Yesterday's shooting was tragic and again underscores the importance of gun control.  I don't give a rat's ass if it was a terrorist act.  If dude didn't have the automatic weapon, those people would be alive.  I can believe that he wasn't on the radar as a terrorist because neither were a lot of others who've been raising hell. The anger is palpable and the hopelessness overwhelming for many.  Mental illness and guns don't mix especially when drugs and alcohol are involved.

Goldman Sachs is getting blamed for a whole lot of financial meltdown that includes that of our own economy and Greece's.  To everyone involved I say Big Ernie will smooth put you in the goats pile when the roll is called up yonder'  Our boss sent out an email today asking us to do one kind thing and mine came on the way home at the chicken store.  Ethel was telling about how somebody was rude to her and what's her name was all looking mortified and they missed a couple of items ringing me up which I promptly pointed out before they ran the check.

Speaking of checks I wrote a very big one to Patterson Brothers (again) and the Dodge truck should be here soon.  We still have to get a locksmith but at least didn't have to drive over there in the heat and deal with that chit.  I am still amazed that the Camry didn't decide to blow up on my way to my legal business last week.  I'm supposing that BAD and her sister prayed for me to make it there.

Happy weekend kids.  Over and out from the lane ^j^

an inconvenient truth

Daddy and I went to the surgeon's office today to see what's up under that wound vac and it's not good. Evidently there's some infected mesh up in there that is deep in the groin tissue.  Always the healthcare provider, I noticed the pus right off when the doc removed the software. Therefore...this must be dealt with before the new one can be even thought about being repaired.  And he's 83 tomorrow, by the way.  He called me way early and told me he was sitting in the wheelchair out front waiting but he gave it up before I got there for lunch parental medical transport.  It was cooler today...probably didn't hit 98, so there's that little blessing.  

My friends have sold their store in Nauvoo and are headed to Key Largo soon which is almost as cool as Fiji or Belize.  I noticed the demo site when I drove to rescue BG from the non-existent Bogota store after the Camry died.  You cannot make this shit up.   I ordered us each a happy and they arrived today via the USPS god love 'em.  The dogs were inside so didn't get their mailman treats.  I feel bad for them, don't you?

My skin is breaking down and I'm not exactly sure why.  MRSA perhaps?  Or maybe toenail fungus. Whatever the case, I'm sick of it and Hempz plus tea tree and coconut oils are helping out.  I was a front line provider when HIV was discovered and later with HepC.  There was a mad rush to CYA with lookback testing that was FDA mandated once the tests were approved.  All of these things are public health epidemics that should scare the shit out of people who think they can't possibly be affected.  The same can be said for the blood supply.  

Moving toward plan P ^j^

the un-sleepover

We had a pretty heavy thunderstorm that resulted in widespread power outages for customers of the rural provider, including my mom and dad's house.  My brother called to tell me that there were a lot of limbs down and Mom was sitting in the dark so I headed on down to see if she was okay.  All seemed well around here except for one of the funeral plants being blown over.  I told Mama she could stay with us so as not to bake in the red log cabin and she said she would wait it out.  Alrighty then.  Back up the hill I went and when BG got home we checked again to see if she was powerless.  Umm..yep.  That's when we sort of pushed her to come on up and stay and she reluctantly agreed. We arrived to find her clutching a complete set of clothes, her medicine card and the walker.  We decided the front entrance would be easier because the back is like a jungle.  She kept saying she could NOT make it up those steps but grabbed the rail that was built just for her and climbed her little self up and into the house.  We settled her on the futon in BG's room and scurried around looking for Fried Green Tomatos.  Lily climbed up in her lap like she owned it and Mom chatted with her and fussed when she stuck that tail in her face.  The puppies lost interest pretty quick because BG was cooking supper.  Mama didn't want to eat, as usual.

I could tell she was very uncomfortable and in a defensive kind of posture so I wasn't surprised when she told me it was time for her to go home.  I didn't argue and was quiet as she apologized 100 times for the chaos and inconvenience.  I never heard from her again but found out just a bit ago that it came on about 10.  Me and daddy have a date with the surgeon during lunch and hopefully the infection has healed properly.  It's a process, you know.  I saw my friend who works on the floor where he was and told her he'd be back soon for another ride!  At today's sawmill event me and Candyland exchanged cuss words and snide remarks while serving multiples of  patients and noting what doctor can be a real jerk.   Talk to the hand dude.  I have worked with and for a boatload of you who think that just because you're an MD you are God.  I can name on one hand the ones that I respect and trust as practitioners.

As for the rest of the world?  I have not a clue, and I really don't want to.

becoming a verb

Once upon a time there was this highly useful search tool called Google and it became the savior of everybody from game show contestants to preachers.  Somewhere all the circuits are humming with all the answers to life's questions EXCEPT how come Chrome wants to mess with me when i use Firefox which I adore.  I just read that Mozilla will be blocking Adobe's flash player which is, as IT nerds would say, "not good."   I could care less actually.  My new technology will be much more user friendly and focused on my tasks which is not a whole lot of gaming or web surfing.   I'm so predictable it's pathetic.  With age comes an unwillingness to compromise on important issues.  Learning to pick your battles is something that takes way too long.

One of our co-workers is my hippie soulmate and we talked about politics today, particularly the rebel flag. She gets a very narrow view from the politically active member of her family and my middle of the road philosophy intrigues her.  My honest opinion is not that the Confederate flag is a symbol of racism but a part of the history of the South.  That being said, it could have been lowered a few days out of respect for a tragedy caused by a true southern redneck followed by several copy cats.  I mean gah.. She shared with me the great economic success in the state of Alaska where she and her Army husband were stationed.  And (i can see russia from my house) Sarah Palin got the credit for it.  What's good for Alaska ain't necessarily what's good for the country but she's kind of entertaining.

I don't want an entertainer in a leadership role while this country struggles to be reborn.  Racism and persecution have always been the American way even from the time that our founding fathers decided raiding an entire continent was a good idea.   Ask the native Americans about that one.  Their casinos and alcoholism rates are astounding because they continue to be paid out of guilt.  I'm sorry to say it, but that is what happens with a lot of others from non-whitefolk backgrounds.  And women.  Especially women.  I am looking to Bernie and his crew to shake things up and if Hillary or one of the clown car wins, I'll be digging up my money from the back yard and heading to Fiji.

that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

hind sight

My friend TinaBelle gave me a ride home and as we passed the service station I waved at the Camry all up in the air getting a new freakin' radiator.  Oh yes, kids.  That fourteen year old radiator sprung a leak and that was the cause of a huge mess under the hood.  There's a towing fee first of all, then oil change and tuneup plus radiator.  Yowza, that's a big lick!  I see now why the credit counselors advise a thousand buck emergency fund.

I ran into cousin Bubba ( not to be confused with brother Bubba ) today and he just happened to have a very valuable piece of information concerning some history I'm working on.  I do so love it when that happens.  We caught up on the fam and I had not even heard about his lodge over in Lake county or we would have covered that too.  His sister Debbie and I worked together for years running the halls of Parkview hospital.  She and her husband later went to work for the one doctor who made me cry like a baby, Dr. Joe.  I'm not sure where he practiced before he hit podunk but he was used to a whole helluva' lot more than a lab tech on call with a water bath and spectrophotometer to report creatinines.   The history of the place is mind boggling, a true case study of the shift in healthcare practices over the years.  Forty of them, in my case.

In the end, the vision of  Methodist Healthcare did not include the 7 facilities in West Tennessee including Parkview that they paid 10M over market value for, just to spite Baptist Memorial.  I feel sure there was some money changing hands under the table somewhere because the entire community supported Baptist and the county elected officials only saw dollar signs as presented by a slick front man in the county courthouse.  "Some people call me Maurice..."

It is what it is and what it was.  This time around, it will be different.

the not so trusty camry

God love it, my car died with BG on the way back from work in Ridgely last night.  I had already had a round with Mama (  I am the devil ) and gone to bed when I got the call.  Sooo....here I go in boxers and a t-shirt in a 95 Cadi to retrieve her from the old Bogota store.  With no air, which is why she was in the Camry.  We were both so hot and tired and disgusted we just stopped for cherry limeade and headed home to bed with the dogs.  Mom has lashed out at me several times saying that I talk down to her and make her feel "stupid."  It is sometimes hard to control my frustration with the way she micromanages everything while blind and homebound but I never get angry.  I suppose she senses that I'm talking to her as if she is a child which is totally how she acts sometime.  That's when I just shut down and walk away from the drama.   Drama is not my friend.

I spent yesterday piddling and and playing and even dropped by Gigi's pool to cool off.  She's in transit to a new home and having the time of her life decorating.  She buys 'em quite often and if you're lucky enough to buy or rent from her, you can be sure the decor will rock.  I heard from the pool crowd that she's planning a pool at the new place too!  I've had many a fun day with she and her fam and friends in that water.  Many times ? There is alcohol involved unless children are present.  Mostly it's just about sittin' in the sun and gossip with plenty of olive oil spray and plastic floats.

There is still a truck parked in Jackson to deal with and no death certificate after three weeks. The entire process has been shifted toward the PCP which takes a lot longer if you know what I mean.   Our local coroner told me the other day that the ME in the county of death can sign if nobody else has after a certain period.  Whatever.  There are other fish to fry around here.

Looks like I'll be renting a car unless the Patterson brothers can get me going tomorrow.  With two jobs starting at two different times, it's a must for each of us to have a vehicle.  Plus there's the grands to   haul  tend to and groceries to buy.  We actually have money to get food and no time to get it done so we eat out a lot.  I picked the first squash off of my gorgeous plants yesterday and they're about to take over the small straw bale plot. out back.  There are two stalks of corn leaning sideways and lots of bean pole climbing.

There have been no animal sightings lately except for dogs on my bed and a cat wanting attention.  I'll have to google that and see what happens.  Y'all keep the faith ^j^

a perfect world

One of the tools we used yesterday on our projects is that of macro viewing which means, quite simply, to look at the big picture and identify steps in a process.  Then you look for things that could go wrong because we all know they will.  I backed up recently and did a macro on the last month of my life and am truly amazed I still know my name and SSN.  Beginning with my aunt Nancy's death on June 12th, life began to unravel at warp speed for us here on the hill.  There was her last days and funeral followed pretty quickly by me almost running daddy down in the Camry.  Luckily it was just his foot!  Mom was admitted with a fractured pelvis for a couple of days and I still don't really know why because she was walking fine.  Just an I to be dotted when an exam shows something.  The fall happened two weeks prior so she wasn't really "emergent."  Pnoler died suddenly on June 20th which put both BG and I into survival mode for several days.  She still struggles with it but is busy with work.  Grief is a process which finds its' own time.  There has been lots of paperwork and many obstacles to getting things tied up.  On the following Sunday evening, my daddy was admitted with a strangulated hernia following an all nighter in the ER with a screaming banshee next door.  Repair turned into  wound care when it was discovered that his OLD hernia site was infected and had to heal before the NEW one could be fixed.  Alrighty, then.  Which brings us to today with him at the SNF getting treatment and Mom at home running the world.

I inherited the desk that my sister in law made for her many years ago and it took a couple of weeks to get it done.  It's a beautiful piece that is perfect for spreading things out for organization.  13 is done except for the required post counseling session which is running as I type.  According to the experts no more than 50% of your disposable income should go to fixed expenses and 20% to savings.  Um..okay.  That has been my goal for some time now and I've only got one chance left to make it work.  It will not be wasted, I can assure you.  I have been the poster child for fiscal irresponsibility out of sheer frustration with life.

A friend posted a vacation spot in Fiji which just about sent me searching for plane tickets because it's always been my dream since The Truman Show.  I would take Belize though, just saying.  Maybe I'll get some sand in my future if things don't go south again.  We are watching Orange is the New Black and loving it.  JK is a genius creator of drama and humor mixed in just the right combination.  One of the saddest days of my life is when Weeds ended.  Seriously.  BG used to say "But Mom...it can't come on EVERY day!"

Y'all enjoy the weekend.  Come on by and I'll put you to work on the laundry and dishes.  Peace~

mad skills

We all have them, those things which make us unique and valuable to a team.  One of the beautiful things about diversity is that when we all come together for good, Big Ernie takes the lead.  It's only through harsh times in the desert that we learn to rely on his strength.  There are harpies everywhere who will call me a witch because I don't capitalize the name of our creator in every context.  So, burn me at the stake.  You gotta catch me first.

Mom had a busy day with hair/daddy visit/doctor and between Tippi and Bubba they got her from there to here.  He's on vacation so that worked out.  My friend Lori left expectedly but unexpectedly isn't coming back and I will miss her.  She showed up at just the time that I was about to lose faith with the whole parents' thing and allowed me a bit of rest.  She's a hard worker and has elderly parents of her own to take care of.  Love ya girl....mean it.

The wreath from Pnoler's funeral is laying in the sun on the porch swing getting drier by the day but that's okay because it's sunflowers and pods.  A big thank you to KK for advice on that plus a whole lot more.  It's insanely hot and humid which is, I suppose, normal for mid-July.  I spent today in a conference room with several nurses of the year and other assorted great thinkers.  White boards and markers with post its are our best friends.  My partner will be AWOL for a long weekend at the lake but I'm just grateful that I've been teamed up with her because she's a go-getter and very detail oriented, much unlike myself.  Plus she's a lot younger.  The one individual that I spotted across the room from me looked weary  like the rest of us and I remembered when she put herself through nursing school while tending bar at her husband's place.  She has done home health with my parents as well.  Nurse of the year, I'm just saying.

BG is full time now and putting in a lot of hours during the training  process.  I guess they want to see if she'll stick with it, and I understand that.  Not everybody is cut out for caregiving as a profession.  When folks end up in the hospital they want to be treated nicely.  As we all know, stuff happens and I've even been the cause of it.  That being said, the truly loyal ones will keep on trying to make it perfect and "as if" the patient were a family member.  I've had lots of practice with that lately.  The same applies for care delivered in the home on taxpayer funded programs.  Do no harm and try to help people.

It's Friday and officially beer thirty.  I'll have one for your mama'n'them.

^j^

turkey in the hay beans

The soybeans that got planted after first pass on wheat have begun to come up amongst the stubble all no till and shit which I totally love.  There is nothing quite as scary as a wheat field on fire plus it stinks and looks ugly.  As I inched toward the lane I spotted a turkey knee deep in wheat straw just picking away at it much like the deer have been doing.  Country living at its' finest!  I want some chickens but that will have to wait until another day and time.  I've heard they eat all the bad bugs so there's that.

Yesterday was a long one and the first of four that promise to be that way.  I did get home by 2:30 which is usually the goal but rarely happens.  It's hot as hades and stormed last night as I was drifting off to neverland.  It's amazing how soundly I rest now that $$ and grands are not a 24/7 worry.   Being financially strapped which is where a whole helluva lot of folks find themselves, gives rise to all sorts of free floating anxiety about "what if"  I lose my job.  Or my insurance.  Or my car to get to work and buy insurance.  My appetite has finally returned and I've eaten more in the past three days than I have in eons.  Gotta watch out for the end times though and grow your own food.  I have one big squash bloom and a few on the tomato plant.

It's a slow news day when the only headline is about some guard at a privatized prison getting moved to a county courthouse.  I figure that whole institution is punishing the ones who were just doing their jobs while a few did the deed and helped convicted murderers escape.  I'm sure there was money involved, don't you think?  I'm enjoying the little things right now like having the cash to stop and get a coke or lunch or a beer or five.  Previously, it was all a juggling game mostly on paper.  I'm lucky my bank loves me.

As it turns out, ER docs don't sign death certificates because then they would be in court all the time and not working for the man like me.  I chatted with several peers today about the process and it reverts to the PCP if the deceased has been seen in the past four months, which Pnoler had.  It was like an episode of CSI trying to figure out the doc's name when it was right there on an EOB from May.  BG is still exhausted and so am I.  We tread lightly and talk just enough to be sure we're both okay.  I'm respecting her space right now and it's a painful one that can only be navigated alone.

I may have mentioned before that it wasn't until ten years after my grandmother's passing that I grieved for my deathbed experience with her.  My family and I take for granted the knowledge that I have which helps us to figure things out with healthcare but I sure feel sorry for those who don't know an MRI from STAT. You're at the mercy of those who truly like helping people.

Y'all should really take daddy some candy.  Room 111 at the home :)

survivor pecan lane

Today was 13 day and I'm grateful I didn't have flat on the way to Shannon Street in the trusty old Camry. Maybe the THP would help a girl out on the side of the road, ya' think?  I actually took the time to research animal totems recently and learned the meaning of multiple snake and deer sightings.  Sounds like I'm in a good place.  Lake county cuz called to check on us and I caught up with her after sawmill duty.  She has a lot on her plate too but still offers help whenever we need it.

I had time to kill between then and the sawmill gathering so I paid ATT and did some "mandatory" training on my off time because it's way too busy to get it done while saving lives.  Hey..we do what we can do, ya' know?  Daddy is still being nice over at the home and his roomie got moved so it's just him and the teevee until somebody new shows up.  Mom went to visit him today and deliver clean undies.  Her driver is also 80+ and I'm sure she buckles up, unlike me.  BG and I talked about my seat belt ticket and decided I was pretty lucky considering all the chances I take with a 14 year old Toyota.

I failed to listen to BAD's directions and ended up over by the Methodist church by mistake so I promptly pulled over and called to ask where I was in relation to the federal building.  That Chester street exit is tricky for out of towners.  The guards and scanners were as expected and they kind of laughingly told me to put it all "in the tub."  The closest bathroom was in the basement with one sink that works and another that doesn't plus no paper towels.  Or even hand sanitizer!  I blame Obama. On 412 today I noticed my friend's farm equipment place and stopped by to get a hug on return to the 'burg. He was missing but his lovely wife Suzanne gave me a big old hug and let me use the ladies room.  Lots'o'tractors around that place, if you know what I mean.

^j^

career day

It troubles me greatly to hear of the most recent mergers in the healthcare industry that include several insurance companies which pay their Os millions, much like the banking industry.  Which, if you think about it is one and the same since the whole house of cards is built on Wall Street.  Yeah, the very same ones who raped us after the financial meltdown.  Nobody...not a sports figure or a politician or actor or ANYNODY is worth that kind of money.  As a society we have gobbled up the media frenzy that comes with branding and that includes healthcare.  Hide and watch how many times there's free lunch from the pharmacy reps. Ahem, with a sign in sheet of course. And a power point presentation.  Anyone who has diddled with Verizon v ATT knows that big can be good if you provide good service.  We're funny about that with our "devices."  Yet we get the care we get from providers who do so, for the most part, because they want to help people not to get rich.

My employment began at a county owned facility in 1977 following graduation from UTCHS allied health with a BS in Medical Technology.  Dr Jimmy Noonan was the one who recommended me for admission and my interview was with none other than the ultra smart party girl Brenta Davis.  She was all up in national politics getting us more certification and respect.  I made the top score on comps and she called to tell me that which was totally surprising 'cuz I didn't study much except for class and late nights. I can tell you right now that the pharmacy bunch was party central.  Med students played pretty hard too.  Mostly I think lab folks were all scientific and a bit overwhelmed except for Gaylon our president.  Marvin Wagster was our favorite instructor and he went on to bigger and different things in Nashvegas.

In 38 years, the entire picture has changed.  We have gone full circle from having house calls to being lucky if you're awake when the hospitalist shows up.  The staff is underpaid and overworked.  I noticed today that it was quieter than usual and had a sigh of relief over that.  Daddy's surgeon showed up when I was headed to pick up lunch and we talked about a probable two week stay at the manor then surgery again.  Mom is doing well and even has a lilt in her little precious southern voice.  All is well on Samaria Bend.

Healing is an art and a gift not a commodity to be bought and sold like grain futures.  It may be too late for anybody to change things but I'm not going down without a fight.  Most diseases can be attributed to unhealthy lifestyles perpetuated by an insane desire for more.  I've been there with food and a lot of other things.  Two solid years of therapy and a lot of mistakes later, I still try to think outside the box.  Can I help it?   Sure...I could be obedient to authority and I will when forced to.  But don't ever ask me to go above and beyond that line.

I was the mom who typed everybody's blood in BG's 4th grade class.  That's when we knew she was A neg and would need the shot.  If I'm not mistaken my younger brother was a weather man at the time and he brought his boss for a big hoorah with her class.  Miss Linda had them all dressed up and I think she was a cloud or something.  I do believe Peggy Jane was in in too...and Allison?   I interviewed with a local high school a few years ago for the task of preparing students for healthcare careers.  The pay wasn't good enough to justify the change, but I felt honored to have gotten the phone call.  If we do not speak up now about the crisis in caregiving, pretty soon we'll be seeing Zombies and Hunger Games.   While far from an alarmist, when I see the deer for a second time early morning, I pay attention.

^j^

let freedom ring

No BBQ for this old girl, though I've eaten pounds of it freshly cooked over a lifetime of hanging with grill teams like the groupie that I can be.  There's this really secret sauce recipe written in 'Noler's hand that came from one of the masters of local pork, Eddie Gregory.  Our friend Charlie said that it should remain an eternal secret but his wife said I can put in in the book if I give her one.  Sounds like a win-win.  I know there's a lot of apple cider vinegar involved and that's what makes it ummm...from a spray bottle.  Once upon a time Mr. Ed Morrow in Missouri made these ginormous metal cookers just for that type of thing.  Lots of people had them, and used their talents to raise money for benefits, including the former ACS event at Moody Wadley.  Matter of fact, that's where I met Mrs. Precious, aka sister Lisa.

So, nobody got drunk and had wrecks that came to the sawmil yet but it's early and there's a lot of stupid people out there.  I stopped by the drug store and got new readers at a twofer price and noticed somebody across the street in the church parking lot blowing bottle rockets out the back of a van.  Where's the law when you need 'em?   Out giving tired ass middle aged women tickets for forgetting a seatbelt in the middle of town.  Kiss my ass officer.   I feel an Alice's Restaurant moment coming on.

Here's the thing about enlightenment.  Once you see and feel in your heart what is right and good with your own soul, decisions can be made for a happy life.  Identification of road blocks and assets is always a good starting point.  Usually there's a whole lot more of the stop signs.  The ability to make a dream happen is something that only a critical thinker can do.  I haven't always been one, but I grew into it.

I failed to mention that BAD has a sister who is older a smartass like me and bought Aunt Granny's frame shop along with her hubs.  Their brother takes the Grands home after church and brings magic brownies for all.  It's just a regular family reunion with that bunch.  Mayor Mozella'n'them gathered earlier for some partying but it's raining now so I hope you didn't give your kids caffeine.  It's gonna' be a long night if you did.

alrighty then

I spent two hours talking to my brother ( and his kids) on three way this morning as we caught up with our lives concerning everything from Daddy's health status to conspiracy theories issues that we all deal with due to "big business."   Tommy got blamed for something that Adam did which is quite comical.  I could hear  Peyton's sweet voice talking about whatever little girls talk about in magicland with their playmates.  We discussed the five year plan and what that can be.  I'm here to tell you guys, I'm on board with change like never before.

Mom and I went to see Daddy this morning and he was having a treatment so we just watched and chatted while Mom signed papers.  It was 5PM when he got there yesterday and I had all his stuff laid out like a good daughter.  We moved around furniture and wheelchairs and managed to get it all done.  His roomie needed a treatment too so we scooted on out toward the house only to be PULLED OVER in the hospital zone because my seat belt wasn't on.  Fortunately ( I'm not making this shit up ) my registration was paid yesterday and I had all the paperwork.  The state troopers kept me fuming there with my elderly mother while they ran my record to find that I'm just a girl with a crappy old car trying to take care of her parents and the world.  Otherwise, I'd be looking at more legal business.  It's only ten bucks for the ticket with an admonition to get that taillight fixed because it's not "bright" enough without the red.  Soon as the money evens out, that will be a given along with door handles and hubcaps.  And an oil change and exhaust repair.
The older and cuter one kinda' stood back and let the young guy do his drill.  I'm down with that, you know?

I have never been so happy to see anybody in my life as I was to see Dr. A walk up in the parking lot where I was picking up Mom from our visit.  We chatted and I'm sure he noticed how really fragile we all are in this life together. I'm thinking that's the true meaning of advocacy...taking on a client and following through.  The same can be said for BAD  and everybody else who has stepped up and taken my hand during the past weeks.  I can't tell you when the drama started or where it will end.  All I can promise you is that I will always keep the faith ^j^

are we there yet?

As I type, Daddy is probably being loaded into an ambulance for transport to the SNF where he will be treated following the previously documented hospital visit.  All of this started about 11:30 Sunday night and will hopefully be over in time for supper.  I left him a stash of mini-Hershey bars on the bedside table and some clean jammies on the bed.  He was clutching his cell phone with his ass hanging out of a hospital gown when we last talked.  Mama said he had landed in his room with a very nice young man that I met today who is learning to walk following an ATV accident.  Mysterious ways, and all that.  I have met my new best friends once again and they all know my # by heart because I direct dial.  Shayla and Rhonda know me pretty good plus all the nurses.  We are frequent fliers lately on 2N.

There were multiple delays including, but not limited to the fact that for profit healthcare is all about juggling the contracts that big insurance uses to get richer.  Hoss would say that scientists would say "not good."   Healthcare is a basic human right that Jesus loves and approves the message of.  To split hairs over reproductive rights and reduce funding for public health is a disgrace that can only be attributed to ignorance. POTUS hit Nashvegas yesterday to try and convince the gop idgits that turning down federal dollars for home improvement is just plain stupid.  I don't care what you call it...just get 'er done.

I'm tired but blessed ^j^

 

parental medical update

To make a very long story short, Daddy did not have his right inguinal hernia repaired yesterday because it became un-strangulated PLUS the site of the left repair from about 20 years ago turned out to be massively infected.  The surgeon said they noticed the other side pre-op and kind of opened it up and ewwwwww. Old staphy mesh.  There will be  some time in skilled care for wound vac, antibiotics and restricted activity so the new one doesn't get out of whack prior to repair.  Not sure of the time frame but thank goodness I have a day off for transport.  Mom already has his suitcase packed including the newspaper.  He told me to pick one up remembering the days when he was a volunteer and they were fo' free.  I didn't even have three quarters to rub together for that one.  TCM is his new best friend.  There was lots of drama while he was coming out of anesthesia and it was all settled by phone with my work peeps.  What.A.Blessing.

I'm still in a fog from all those hours awake, sleeping for awhile but then waking up like you do when not on a normal schedule or anything resembling it.  I saw my friend Dianne today at the sawmill and she looked beautiful as ever.  There's something about a bald head and ball cap that gets me every time.  I didn't have on my faith bracelet but got a huge hug anyway.  After serving the patients ( and getting Daddy settled ) I stopped by to check on Mom and found her visiting with her favorite nurse Angie.  Yesterday Delores brought muffins and was thankfully there when I got  home to give an update.  Way too much drama, y'all.  I'm feeling like an episode of ER meets Orange is the New Black.  Where's that chicken?

My brothers are busy with their own lives and check in often enough to know when somebody is in immediate danger of dying but it's mostly my job because I'm a girl.  And the oldest.  And the closest in distance.  I can honestly say that without my partnership with BG on this, I would have already  had  a heart attack myself.  I need to relax so badly but hesitate, knowing that it's touch and go with old people in the balance.  Angie told me that dealing with health crises of her own family members is what drove her to become a nurse.  That's what's up.  When I think about the pain my father has been suffering  and not getting help, I feel like it was a blessing in disguise that the pus pocket got found.  After all this, he'll live to be 120.