Saturday, April 11, 2015

auto correct

I turned mine off because it spells all the wrong words from how I talk which is nowhere near grammatically correct. We in the south tend to do run on sentences with a lot of expletives and quotation marks for emphasis. At least us redneck girls do. It's a glorious day on the lane with perfect weather except for the pollen. One of the puppies went to a new home today and we're praying and pimping hoping that they all find somewhere special to be snuggled. I would just die to think of him or her getting used as Vick bait or made to sleep in the cold.

I learned today that an old and dear friend and co-worker has received a quite horrible diagnosis and it is ironic in that she works with those patients. She has been the heart and soul of our local cancer clinic for many years. Oncology is a double edged sword offering hope to many and nothing but heartache for others. The difference, a lot of times, is in who you meet along the way. My friend has not changed one bit over the years still sporting that white blond look from Chucky. We are all in this together, and it's for the long haul.

Another patient who has become close to our hearts returned home with hospice care following many years of an unidentified ailment that lets her literally bleed to death. She has never given up and still now I'm sure holds hope for a peaceful passage to a world with no needles or pain. Here's the thing as Rodney P would say...Allowing yourself to truly love someone or something causes a whole lot of pain when there's loss yet we do it over and over again and you know why? Because life is too short to waste not feeling appreciated and valued as a person.

Sleep has come easy and hard since that tear filled all night vigil with Ryder by my side. When she went in and settled down on the futon my first thought was "Please no, don't die there right where your mama did." I know it took everything she had to crawl into my room and plop down next to the bed. What a beautiful soul she is.

I am applying topical chemo to my forearms and waiting on a biopsy report on my chest. Considering the negative pap smear (finally) I'm feeling blessed plus Skin Doctor said it didn't look serious. Gotta make sure, you know. I mean, some pathologist's kid needs the money and all. I have been in the business long enough to know that diagnostics are a business that can be either very helpful or very lucrative, but not often both. Screening should be free or at minimal cost, including mammo,blood sugar and pap. If you can catch a disease EARLY there's no need for expensive tests and treatments on down the road. The big bucks for all of this are probably tucked into the pockets of the Koch Brothers or their evil twins Bill Frist and Rick scott.

I suppose you would call my writing style stream of consciousness in the loosest sense and downright hard to follow on days when I think faster than I type. But, it's my story and I'm sticking to it.


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