deck the halls

We're still a long way from affording a tree here but things have been much worse and somehow my Pollyanna little self believes that if it's meant to be, it shall. The ornaments look stunning in baskets anyway. When I first moved here there was the ultimate cedar out in the pine grove where the peonies live. In the interest of improving my view he cut it and hauled it across the road to the gully where mountains of tree limbs and leaves cover the old appliances below. The ridge over behind special needs house is the greatest place in the world to watch the sun set on this farm. Nope...I take that back. Behind the dairy barn.

I was up early with BG and Boogs so I went down to hit the pecans in the currently warm sunshine only to hear my parents screaming at each other in the house because I don't know why. I guess they're mad because they're old and can't get around. Daddy actually knows his limits and will sit there and watch TV 'til the cows come home. Mom, on the other hand, is a lot of histrionics. She baits him with requests for things that he could never deliver like understanding that she is blind. Kinda'

Today is Saturday November 30th in the year of our Lord 2013. Tomorrow morning Christians of many sects will attend services at mostly denominational churches governed by gigantic boards with political agendas. This is not how our founding fathers expected it to be when they fled the gluttony that was England. That our forefathers raped the natives and destroyed their lives enough to reciprocate with a big casino deal, I am truly sorry. They were here first ya'll. If it wasn't for them there would have been no corn or dressing or turkey on that day of feasting. I don't think green bean casserole had been invented yet.

Every day should be a reason for thanksgiving of some sort. Honestly, if I didn't take quiet time to meditate about the bigness of life, I'd be a basket case. Been there and done that and don't want to go back. If you're the praying sort, please keep John and Jerry on your list. The part of the story that I always remember is on the road to Emmaus where the early believers talked about how he rose again following a terrible death on the cross. Everybody was mean except for the ones who knew him and had seen the miracles he performed. BIG law and infighting among tribes was common.

That's the beauty of faith, i think. Even when it looks like the whole world is falling apart (according to FOX) we still have each other to share the journey down that road and talk about reasons to believe in goodness.

live from the lane

I've already made my (hopefully) one trip out into the hysteria that is black friday to pick up some necessities like toilet paper and burlap bags for pecans. TWO freakin' fifty each, mind you. Oh, but they'll buy them back when you return with them full of nuts. Okay, then. I'm good with that. I saw the owner out having a cig in the courtyard when I pulled up. In the summer it's like a little piece of paradise out there. Right now? Not so much.

I'm lifting some folks up today including Count Z and my dear friends in Nashvegas because they are dealing with some very serious health issues. I've seen the medical helicopter go over twice today so I'm hoping nobody got mangled at wallyworld. I am steadfastly boycotting their business until "made in the USA" is more visible on the shelves. Same for all the other retailers who use slave labor to support their corporate bosses.

Speaking of politics (you knew it was coming, right) Tennessee now has a NORML chapter to help introduce the idea of legalization and or medical use without jail time for possession of said hemp based products. One of the biggest impediments to moving forward with this idea is that a whole BOATLOAD of court systems, police departments, etc. have a financial stake in prohibition in the form of fines and seizures. Of course there's also that gangsta' type mentality that is against it because it cuts into their dime bag fortunes. For the life of me as much as lawmakers want to regulate things why our state legislators don't jump on this. Big tax breaks for agriculture, as you and Monsanto know very well. It probably won't happen in my lifetime, but you never know. When I first heard of Ethan Nadelman and the Drug Policy Alliance ten years ago I never thought I'd see ANY state legalize. Good on you sir!

My brother posted a picture of me holding his little two year old hand on the road in front of our home...gravel road, fence and all. One summer I was bored and wanted to earn some money so I started painting the fence. And as usual, I never finished it!! I don't remember when it was torn down and replaced with pine trees. Funny the little things we remember just by jogging things a bit with pictures and thoughts. He and I have always been like super close because we're both rather "ethereal" in a cosmos related sort of way. We've done therapy at the same time and spent hours on the phone talking about challenges and moving on. He has been my neighbor two different times and it's pretty cool having him in the hood since I'm a single gal. Now the special needs bunch comes to ME for stuff. Yikes.Like they said on Hill Street Blues: "Be careful out there." Don't let some bitch in spandex on crack steal your bargain crock pot!


Peace

gratitude and grace

All things considered, Thanksgiving day went fairly well including work and a brief takeout meal with the grands before my brother and I had to get back at it. Thank you Mary Lou Parker!! Muahh. BG and her dad also went to her place and she met Mr. Ralph who did several pieces of art of places in our family. How cool is that? She's elbow deep in dressing for yet another meal at Booger's crib. I'm taking a rain check until the crowd thins :) I'm telling ya'll, they're a tribe to be reckoned with and Shannah leads them always forward. Jordan has made a difference in more than one or two lives. Our family has grown during the past year in ways that I never thought possible. God has smiled on us, most definitely.

Work wasn't bad so I had time to give my dear friend a goodbye hug before he leaves ER to move into another position in Nashville with a lot of potential for advancement. I first met him when he was a health occupations student from the local high school who did a rotation with us when I was a young'un too. We hired him and he went on to find job after job in the field of laboratory testing. Following the death of his life partner, he returned to west TN to regroup and came once again into our fold. His extensive knowledge of not only specimen requirements but ordering patterns made him quite valuable. I'll miss you Mickey Allen Cole. Holla'

Have I mentioned how freaking awesome it is to be halfass warm and able to cook. Honey, I did the happy dance when those burners fired up! I'm losing track of days now, occasionally not really knowing if it's Saturday or Christmas. Anywho, as long as I set my alarm early, it's all good. And I do know that it's Thursday and Thanksgiving before you call a mental health professional. One of the things that I've learned about healing is that until a hurt has been verbalized and grieved it will never go away. Now granted, some people go through their entire lives as victims of some sort or another and those you just have to avoid. To grow and learn spiritually, we have to let down our guard and leave room for the spirit to work.

^j^

group hug

This day started like any other one for me including the quick in and out from cold spots to warm. I was downing a sausage biscuit from the chicken store when I found evidence that all was not well in my world...nay FAR from it. Last night my brother called me from work asking that I check in with the grands because he was busy and they were fighting. Again. I spoke sternly with both of them and headed back to sleep. They have had multiple opportunities to change the living arrangement which she finds so terrible that she has regular sobfests over her lot in life. Neither will budge. Both are competent (kinda sorta'). Not in my realm of power until they're not, but we're getting close. I can't believe the number of times over the past five or six years that we've rigged up plans where he can watch TV in the middle of lightning storms or blizzards. Generator. I'm talking a real survivalist. His hearing is about to go which should be easily fixed by an FNP holding a wax removal bulb.

Mom has periods of really dramatic queenhood where if Big Ernie himself told her to make a list she'd say "But I have no pen. I understand her frustration at being elderly and blind and not able to take care of ADLs like she used to but oh.my.lord. Me and daddy call them her "spells." How very southern! I'm not fond of crying because it makes my eyes hurt after an extended boohoo. Pity party. I'm going out and eat a worm! I've had plenty in my life and I recognize how hard that hysteria was on a marriage, even the whole family. If you think about it, getting all worked up about something is the least faithful thing you can do. I mean, if you believe in God and that heshe has a grand plan the rest is just details. That's when you let it go and move on.

I never expected to be where I was today, surrounded by people and hugging them with all my might. My daughter was among them and I see her in a whole different light now. The dogs like the fact that it's warmer and I'm ready to use that oven! Oops. That's the thing about having no stove...food is limited!

This too shall pass ^j^

the church lady

Once upon a time in a land far away there was a middle aged smartass country girl who lived on a hill with four dogs, one cat and a horse plus some crazy neighbors. I remember describing myself on some site or another in early interweb days as "what you see is what you get" and that still stands true. I've been staying inside waiting for propane guy to show up so I can turn the oven on for the first time in two years. Just in time for the holidays too! And pecan roasting!!! Here's a recipe for you who might want to make up something with the nuts that takes a'hold of you like crack. Four cups of pecans coated with a melted mixture of one stick of butter, and 4T of your favorite seasoning like A1 or Country Bob's. Bake at 325 for about 45 minutes, stirring and salting every 15 minutes. Drain on paper towels. In case you lose this, it will be in the cookbook. I checked out Indiegogo and think that it might be a reasonable way to raise the capital needed. We shall see.

Meanwhile the Tea partiers are backed against the wall because the healthcare plan is becoming more manageable in spite of filibusters galore. I wish Big Ernie would just swoop down and make it all good. I rarely check phone messages ( hey...there's no tone to tell me) but today I did and heard several rambles, one from mom and another from somebody who knows the drill. And then there was the student loan collection hangup. Because I co-signed and all believing that a college degree means something in today's world. Obviously that's not the case in the current economy.

Yep...I'm in a mood. Not a bad one, necessarily just one that needs to be worked through and not ignored. It involves quite a bit of grief for things gone by and a firm belief that there are good things ahead. There will always be peaks and valleys as the little general says. But the important thing is to support each other along the way. I can honestly say that her joining the UMC was one of the high points of my life. That being said, I'm pretty pissed that the preacher got kicked out for doing a same sex marriage on his son. I mean, really? And yes, I remember people jumping off the balconies at that big conference when it all came up. Dear UMC: Jesus would not like that type of discrimination or interpretation of LOVE.

Faith ^j^

we know what a miracle you are

Last year we had so many pecan poachers that my brother made an executive decision to ask for law enforcement patrols on the lane with instructions to call them if there's somebody that doesn't look right. Ahem...well. BubbaWayne and his tribe (think duck dynasty)showed up today to pick up on the halves for my Bubba. It only took the three of them about an hour to scour my yard and the road. Meanwhile, special needs mama down the road called the law (for once, not on them) when she saw them. With two cars in my driveway indicating that yes indeed we are home, I would have said "Hmm..must know them." Nada. When the patrol car pulled in the driveway I went out to give official permission and he told me they'd gotten several calls over the past two weeks. I guess that explains why there's nothing much left on the lane except the wild ones. There are several younger trees planted by my daddy that are just beginning to produce. In their yard are two huge trees and that's my honey hole. If it wasn't sleeting right now I'd be on the ground with gloves. Maybe this weekend.

While I was visiting mama and daddy Ms Faye told me a story about her son-in-law and his miraculous survival from a heart attack at work. He had been having chest pains and was at work across the Mighty Mississippi when the big one happened. They took him to the closest ER only to be turned away for some reason or another so they went ahead to the one with a cardiology interventionist. Faye and her daughter had driven in separate cars with family members after she asked the preacher (they were at church) to have special prayer with a cloth that she took to her son-in-law's bedside to prove what a miracle he is. As it turns out, he ended up Memphis at my alma mater, Methodist Healthcare, where a surgeon and OR team were waiting to put in two stents and repair a broken vessel. Miracle? It's the power of prayer.

I keep up with posts from Michael Yon and today's was particularly special because it was about a child trying to understand how and why he was shot in Syria. They are the children of war who won't be going to Wallyhell on Black Friday for cheap microwaves. Instead, they will be covering their ears so they can't hear the violence that surrounds them daily. I am sick to death of both parties spouting what their benefactors spoon feed them. I began my political career as a teenager for Lamar Alexander not really knowing what being a Republican was about. I've always been a bit to the left but moreso now because I'm honestly scared of what's happening in Washington. If the facebook contract killer isn't put promptly in jail for threatening Obama nobody will ever learn that freedom of speech and right to bear arms are luxuries not to be used to hate on others. Just sayin.


I believe ^j^

too cold to ramble

I've done my duty the past two weeks serving patients in a variety of different "venues" if you will and I must say it beats the hell out of being bored from doing the same things day after day. I'm what could be called a butterfly worker because if I put my butt down it's for several minutes but usually I'm circling the benches, answering phones and otherwise doing whatever needs to be done. I've been a reliable workhorse from day one and worked through some ungodly nights on call before we finally got night shifts fifteen years later.

One of the things that strikes me about the interactions between departments is how different the directors are both in personality and purpose. I can most relate to the ER gal who loves her dogs like I do. She's pleasant, non-nonsene and to the point which is the mark of a good leader. Things are slow because of the holiday except for ER which is always packed on weekends and holidays. That's when they kill us!! One of several important improvements was the installation of a tube system so that nursing and lab can work together to decrease turnaround time. In delivery of patient care there's not much room for not getting along with co-workers because in the end? It's the patient who suffers.

I've never been a big fan of Jackass type comedy but Bad Grandpa is hilarious and much more interesting than a bunch of guys jumping into a snake pit or something. Knoxville was perfect in the role on a mission with his sidekick grandson. I've tried watching the Millers three times and never got all the way through so this is the project at hand. Well, that plus warming up. I'm steady looking for things to hang over the bare windows to keep the little bit of heat in 'til Butch can get here. Let's just all say kumbaya that I have enough $$ to get him back on my good side.

I don't know about ya'll but I'm tickled to death over the past week frankly. First the nuclear option and now the ultimate peaceful decision. And hey...to whoever you are in Syria executing freakin' INNOCENT CHILDREN stopitstopitstopit. That does not make you a holy warrior..just a baby killer. They did nothing wrong at all besides being born at the wrong place at the wrong time. Something's gotta give there and I'm thinking that since Iran has cooled off maybe they will temper you little pit of evil. A little target practice maybe?? Every time I see a picture of that British wife I just want to throw up.

It's 51 here in the office and dining room so there won't be much time spent here. I can always move to the bedroom and shut the door. Except that the dogs want in and out every time they hear a squirrel or coyote. Which is a lot in the winter!

stay warm and keep the faith ^j^

group hug

As I headed home from the sawmill I drove past the packed out church lot where they are holding a funeral for a young man who took his own life. As a parent, I cannot think of any fate worse than burying your own kid yet it happens day in and day out. I remember when Carrie died and then Jason...victims of childhood cancer that ended their lives way too soon. I bought Jason's piano, the very one where he practiced scales and trills before the chemo robbed him of that pleasure. Carrie Beth was only five or six and the same age as BG. Her family lived in a duplex where BG's daddy ended up moving to after our divorce. Go figure that one. Those threads that run through life never cease to amaze me. Both were treated at the world renowned St.Jude center in Memphis.

Living in a small town is a real bummer in a lot of ways, but tribe wise it's good to know who has your back instead of relying on the good nature of strangers. I read a blog post gone viral today written by a young wife and mother who is juggling two jobs, college, kids and a husband. She speaks from experience when she writes that the poor cannot imagine ever NOT being that way. As a result of this she has started a career as a writer and is being supported by an online community. It's so sweet to read that she and her hubs are eating expensive pizza and staying in a nice hotel when she's come from weekly motels as home. Linda Tirado...remember that name because you'll see it again!

Remember I'm a Pollyanna at heart and all. That being said, when I witness random acts of kindness the likes of which have meant the world to me, I can't help but believe in the inherent nature of goodness. Of course the new Pope doesn't hurt things in the "keeping of faith" department. We rescued Oscar from some people who were sharpening their knives on his back so he's got quite a bit of neuralgia in that layer of scars which is sensitive. I've learned to not make any sudden moves when he's asleep because his high strung terrier ass will bite hand or foot. This time it was left hand and not deep enough to cause cellulitis like the time when Millie the HUGE brown lab chomped down on me. That was a whole 'nother life and story. Remind me sometime to tell it!

Actually some of my closest friends were people who were there that night on Watkins Street and most of them were men because I crashed the party to make a statement. I'm not sure now what it really was but by golly it got made! One time I got mouthy with a bitch friend's woman in a bar just for fun and then cried afterward as she yelled at me all the way out the door. Her guy Terry was my friend and I couldn't stand to not just get up in her face and tell her that everybody knew about how she was spreading it around and using him to help raise her boys. He and my ex- hub and brother Wheeler were inseparable in those days come party time and just because we were divorced he didn't get custody of all the guys. Just saying.

My husband grew up in a household where he thought his mother was his sister because she gave birth at age 16 to his puny little self. Never did find out who baby daddy was but I suspect a step brother. Nothing was ever acknowledged and he was raised by his grandma and stepgrandpa who died at the age of 55 in our old ICU. Needless to say it was not pretty because he had organic brain syndrome from years of alcoholism and work at a rubber plant which was mighty toxic at the time. As far as I know Sis still lives in Broadmoor.

One last thing before I go to the warm room and watch The Millers again. If you can read this and aren't hungry and are warm? You are blessed beyond belief. I know, I know...we take it for granted. But my mother is blind as a bat and warm as heck. If it gets much colder up here on the hill I may be sleeping on their couch.

I'll let ya'll know how it all turns out. Promise!

live strong

One of the craziest things I've ever heard of is that Lance Armstrong got stripped of all his medals and stuff when he did what he did to compete and then had a bout with prostate cancer. Everybody wants a hero...one who can go farther and kick ass better than the average guy. Competition breeds addiction to being #1. Great coaches will put together a team of players who know the rules, play fair and are loyal to their teammates. It's the only way to win unless you're a rich professional politicians making a living off of lobbyists. Both parties do it and it's becoming quite a transparent process what with the interwebs made easily available. I feel oddly excited about what I'm seeing right now. Nothing would tickle my fancy more than voting for an independent candidate who files his or her financials up front.

This is what I've learned about Wall Street speculation during the past 20 50 years. The great depression was caused by a run on banks and that happened again in the eighties and again the next time people believed that corporate America gives a shit about who you are and what you need. They do not, by the way. Most of their headquarters are some place far away where an asshat who doesn't know you from Adam makes decisions that affect your life at every level. A large part of me is expecting a burning bush at any time if not an ark. The asparagus is yellow but wet, and it shall be cut whenever my back recovers from today the past few months. Whiskey for my horses and all that.

Ya'll have a glorious weekend before Thanksgiving and try not to run out to Wallyhell at all next week but especially on Friday. That just feeds the Koch brothers and the Waltons. It takes a village and a very loud voice to change things. Keep the faith on that^j^

80 is the new 60

Yesterday was my mama's birthday and I was working so we took her to Joe's downtown where the aroma of Yankee candles hangs in the air. The food and service are wonderful and there are beautiful pieces of art on every wall and nook. It's what I would have wanted for my own kind of place if I had been given the opportunity. Fortunately for the propane guy, I have a day job that pays fairly well. For a woman. In the South. While that shouldn't matter in the least, it's definitely something for women in the workforce to consider. One of the greatest things about all this scary end of times talk is that we're learning to barter again rather than pay out the ass so some can enjoy a rich lifestyle.

We've barely driven the Cadi in two weeks so yesterday BG went for a spin and it eneded up in our friend's shop overnight. He got us back on the road in no time so it's street legal with registration on the grands after the birthday lunch. She had ice cream AND a to-die-for chocolate chip cookie. At that particular moment, I said thanks to Big Ernie for the pleasure of keeping company with the two women who are the sandwich with Poops right in the middle.

One of the areas that interests me in healthcare now is advocacy for patients. So many people know absolutely nothing about the human body, or not enough to realize that the lifestyle they lead contributes to their illnesses. Excesses of any kind can turn into a full blown addiction. That's why there's anonymous groups for just about every one of 'em! I've been told that the oldtimers in AA don't like NA and all the others because their addiction is socially acceptable and the other A's are not. Whatever people. My favorite movie scene is of Jill Clayburgh in Bridesmaids pretending to be an alcoholic so she could pick up men after meetings.

Mr Gerald lives all the way at the end of our road by the river and he just stopped by to pick up some pecans for pies. The word must have gotten out that I have a gun am keenly aware of movement out there because he asked permission. I was like "really?" This guy grew up in our little community and is one of the few elders left along with my parents and Mozella. I remember when Miss Willa was alive somebody would bring her riding out this way almost every day. That was back when I had the time and energy to do yard work. Now I'm letting it naturally mulch itself. When the leaves blow off the pecans, I'll commence to picking.

In many ways it seems like a blink of an eye since Thanksgiving of '12 which we cooked in mom's kitchen and was a lot of work. Plus, we got all over daddy's nerves. I would love nothing better than to have a nice roasted turkey to carve. And you know what? I hope nobody has trouble getting into WalMart. The ones who will go through that kind of frenzy to save a buck are beyond my scope of imagination. I'm more of a cyber Monday kinda gal.

Peace and love~

things i screwed up

One of my literary heroes is a woman named The Bloggess who gets to write like I wish I could if people would just have a sense of humor and not all act like your mother or drunk uncle. We discussed Thanksgiving plans today and talked about the disadvantages of beer and turkey together. Not so for distilled spirits! My ex husband and his buddies would go through cases of beer at a turkey frying in their day and one time Eddie's grandmother in law remarked that she had never seen a woman (meaning me) drink like a man..like out of a can and not disguised in something. With me, it is what it is. I remember talking to Ms Olive about having fun as an elder and she lectured me on smoking enough that I took notice. Today's visit to the FNP was productive in that I have a radiology order for the achy hip. All my blood stuff is good and the BP goes up and down according to whether or not I remember the pill. There are so many!

It's cold again but thank you sweet baby jeebus for not letting us have a tornado this time around. In cold months they are scary as crap. The last of the orange and yellow is fading into brown and dropping off in the sunset rays as I type and look out the window. I'm tempted to buy that boy a blue bicycle just because that's what Santa would do, or my mama. She sure does love surprises like that. At one point in time there was a fair amount of money floating around following my grandfather's early death. I was only 3 but still remember the sad moments in that house on College hill when he died at age 45 of heart disease. That was before EKG/stress/cath/activase days so most everybody died. When surgical intervention in the form of cardiac by-pass and clot busting first responder drugs didn't exist.

BG is busy in the kitchen whipping up some groceries and that's good because she's not working at the moment so she can take the time to give it the finishing touches and keep laundry current. We go through a lot of covers for the privilege of sleeping with dogs! I'm telling ya'll for real: When I'm old and about to die, please bring a dog to lay with me 'til it's over. On a lighter note, it looks like Obama's Katrina is just another example of what fierce partisan political moves can do to a formerly hard working and proud America. How sad for all of us.

I splurged and bought a seven dollar movie at the drug store today because I've only seen it about 50 times and I might forget some of the plot. Bridesmaids is what we watched for the time between lapse of service with evil sat company and return of equipment. Since then we've been through two more TVs and assorted DVD players. The last one came from China the dollar store and that's not in the least intended as a racist remark. It just is what it is.

It is a wonderful feeling to finally admit that you have warts and people love you in spite of them. Nobody is perfect except for God who knows every hair on your head and sees what you do. That's what just slays me....the way people think that who they really are will never be found out. Somebody didn't read about Big Brother.

Food for thought: Pride's buddy Becca is outside feeding and grooming him. She absolutely freakin' LOVES that ornery old horse and I love it. He'll go face to face with her much more easily than with me. Then again I usually have a pack of barking dogs on my ass.

golden shadows

I'm not lying kids, that is exactly what is laying heavy over sunset at the top of our lane. Yesterday's high winds and rain are history and it's back to business as usual. I haven't started stooping and picking yet because I'm waiting for the wind to blow some of those leaves away, so there. The crazy neighbors are hot on their end of the road with buckets and whatnot. There are two boys and one of them just drove by on his older sister's pink bike. I don't ask....afraid of the answers sometimes. Every time the dad enters my yard, the law is called. I don't play.

It was a typical Monday that came way too early and went like they usually do...filled with stupid people and annoyances. My friend got to go home to her own bed today and that's a miracle in and of itself. We've seen quite a few lately if I say so myself! It's really odd looking around here with all the extra furniture gone and neat piles of stuff too good to pitch. I bit the bullet and dug in today on budgeting more wisely and being able to afford propane. When Poopie don't cook, she ain't happy.

Sometimes I think that I'm all alone in this adult child still dependent thing but then I look around at others who are taking in not only their kids but their grandkids and I feel strangely blessed that it's not something I've had to deal with yet. The bottom line is the babies can't help it and they need hugs. That's why Booger is so special because he's got not only a loving biological family but an extended one that has known him since he was in the womb, literally. I remember going to see him and his mama which I felt was something we all needed because her own mother had recently died. Since then, I've fallen head over heels in love with the kid! What a first birthday party that will be. If we have gas, I'll even make the cake.

Speaking of cakes, I'm thinking the first one baked post-fill will be a quadruple chocolate pound cake with chocolate candy icing. Devil's food cake, chocolate pudding, you name it and it's pure heaven. Sour cream AND oil! After that I need a cheese biscuit fix. Once again, there's only so much one can do with a crock pot and microwave.

The most interesting thing I saw today was a video of the damage in the Phillipines taken via drone. That's what they need to be used for dude..not killing people! I'm very disappointed in the Dems on that one but haven't turned yet. Well, maybe soon I'll be a libertarian who doesn't like Rand Paul. We shall see.

Over and out. Peace and love ^j^

heads up

There's a big fat honking weather system moving across the Midwest that includes West Tennessee in a tornado watch. My brother the VA weatherman posted that there's a very high risk of dangerous storms from this thing so we're keeping an eye out. The bottom of Pecan Lane receives all the runoff from the hill and when it rains really hard like it did before daylight, the road gets covered and we drive through it. Same thing happens when the Forked Deer floods and creeps across the main road out. Every lug on the trusty old Camry is rusty from all those trips through standing water!

Eggs and doughnuts today, without mom because she doesn't get out in the rain with her walker..too much trouble. Daddy and I got there at the usual time and BG called right before I left as I was listening to Red say "OMG...there comes two biscuits and gravy guy." When the door opened there stood none other than my last ex-roomie and his current woman. He greeted me with the usual "How are you young lady?" which is what he says to every damn woman he runs across. I'm glad he's gone but it was surely a lot of misery getting there. More power to her if she can put up with that ornery ass attitude of his.

We took a drive way out into the country to pick up the title for the Cadi from Count Zubrovka. He's got as many dogs as us, plus maybe a few more! He got the car from his parents estate many years ago and gracefully thought of us and our one vehicle predicament. BG is unemployed again (long story) so tomorrow is another day of looking for a decent job in a small town with a dead economy. There is a new industry coming soon, but ground was just broken and it's still just a vision. Industries come and go here and some of the largest have just pulled up and moved on after working the locals to death. We had several publishing companies that were particularly bad about that. Whenever corporate is in Canada or Ohio or something, you've gotta worry. Thanks to Congress, that's not even beginning to change. PLUS the ones who are laid off and losing bennies and spendable $$ that could pump up the economy if people would just quit being greedy. CEO pay in this country is obscene and the richer the company the higher the pay. See AIG.WaMu, Citi and JP Morgan Chase. Jesus does not approve guys...when you can live that kind of lifestyle while veterans of your dirty wars get their food stamps cut because there are NO JOBS when they come home, something's wrong with the moral fiber of our country. Unfortunately, that all plays out just like some horrible apocolyptic film in our daily lives. In that type of atmosphere, keeping the faith is essential.

I do see a huge movement of people moving toward greener lifestyles, particularly in the area of organic gardening to avoid additives and chemicals during the growth cycle. If you actually think about what you're putting in your mouth, you might want to grow your own. I plan to...and yes I've said that before. Not this time! There will be at least some tomato plants in 2014. Yesterday was a total slugfest for me and I never left the house, even to check the mailbox down by the road. It's really funny how the last few times BF has flown, I've been sitting here typing when he dropped the box on the swing. The mailman now leaves biscuits for all the furbabies and it they're not outside, he puts 'em in the box.

My friend with the big girl panties has convinced me to be smart and careful and watch my back. I'm such a freakin' Pollyanna that it really puts a hurt on my soul when I see somebody's dark side and it's directed at ME. It happens in all walks of life when we put our trust in people who aren't worthy of it. I honestly believe that the state of our country is due to just that. While 99% of us struggle to make some sense of what the hell Obamacare has to do with Benghazi and why we're suffering for it the chosen few yet around living lavish lifestyles that don't include EBT food from the dollar store. I just found out that my state has a NORML chapter which tickles the crap out of me. And an actual legislator who said that while he hasn't used it in 40 years ( wink wink ) he sees hemp production as a cash cow for our state considering our growing zone.

It's Sunday, Big Ernie's day and I'm gonna take rest like he said ^j^

oh happy day!

We're still fakin' it 'til we make it here on the hill watching Booger sleep and trying to clean some of the mess that is our home. All but one quilt in the house was dirty on my floor so I slept with a sheet and a baby quilt last night! Well, plus some dogs for warmth. "The baby" as we call him woke up at 5AM so he's down for a nap again following breakfast and play. We pretty much tag team with him so that he's never alone. Now that he's mobile, that's a necessity. Seems like just a week or so ago he was learning to crawl and now he's off in a flash!

I'm sitting here in my "life is good" shirt from BF and trying to let things go one more time. No matter how I try to believe that good things are coming(really,I do) I still fall back into that same old pattern of worry and fret. Not over little things, mind you. During hard times is when you find out who your true friends are and I have many. Seems like each catastrophe that hits brings another one out of the woodwork to comfort me. There are prayers swirling daily as I go about my life tending to business and seeking laughter to go along with the tears. Glass half full? Most of the time.

Sometimes, you know too much about something to be really unbiased and I've found that I'm that way sometimes when people that I love are sick and I try to "fix them." Not my job in real life, you know? You gotta' wanna to accomplish anything and the will to live is there in abundance for those who have vision for a better tomorrow. Right now, I think and pray often for all those poor Filipinos who are living a nightmare. It reminds me of Katrina in many ways.

My high school biochemistry teacher also taught history and was one of the first conspiracy theorists around concerning the JFK assassination. I remember watching the Zapruder film on an ancient projector in his apartment as a student. This was powerful stuff for one who witnessed his death as a child. Wally is still going strong and did a community presentation this past week on the subject at our local library. Some things just don't go away even if you cover 'em up!

One of my boyfriends was even more into the conspiracy stuff believing and convincing me to a point that 9/11 was in part masterminded by the government. Why else would something that ridiculous happen when we're the "safest and strongest" around. Well, except for the fact that jihadists hate us with a passion for our fat and sassy lifestyle. If they only knew how many Americans are struggling to make it while the rich squander and rip folks off even more. I haven't been to a WalMart in about five years and don't plan to ever go back until they treat their folks better. I don't care how cheap it is, I'll go somewhere else. Anywhere but Wallyhell.

Everybody's doing the number thing which used to be called a "meme" in early blog days. Give me a number and I'll tell you how much I'm grateful for or little known facts about me. Everybody knows EVERYTHING about me because I put it out there every day for public perusal. Nothing to be ashamed of...just a smartass overaged hippie country gal with a big heart and a serious attitude.

^j^

experiment

I've noticed that when I don't publish the link to my blog on FB that the traffic is about one third of what it is when it's plastered out there for the whole world to see...or not. I know the service is free but hey, you asked for it so you got it. The young ones are mostly over it much in the way that BGs generation moved past ICQ. Remember those days? I hear a train in the distance and that always reminds me of one particular person who shall remain nameless. Boogs is coming to stay the night so we'll be out like a light by 9 I bet. I am weary again and need to recharge. Since it's gonna rain, that's a good enough excuse to chill.

Seems like everybody's out of the woods health wise and the team is working together like never before. Much of that is having a man in the position to make the decisions that women have a hard time making. Trust me, I've been on both sides! My 37 years in the lab have taught me a lot about the human body and how the disease processes work that can kill a person in a heartbeat. I've seen everything from an autopsy to bedside gospel singin' to send somebody home. I've seen newborn babies get born and old people die. Even some not so old ones. There are always kids that make a mark on your soul. I suppose my employment in the field has been a long lesson in what really is and it's all about the journey, not the morgue table or the cemetery. Clinical diagnostics is a great tool for providers. It's also a very lucrative one and mucho corporate providers have made a kazillion off of my knowledge and loyalty.

I chatted with a friend today about how mean people suck and whatnot and she told me to just remember who I am and not be that sniveling crying little girl. I think it scares her, and really everybody. I reckon I got the hysterical gene from my mama who, Lord knows, has had a time with being an overachiever all her life. My career as her clone got cut short by intense therapy and big life changes the likes of which I probably wouldn't have gone for had I known how hard it would be. See..there's a blessing in that even. I'm off for two days and don't have to do much which is, as Martha would say "a good thing!" Still can't cook due to no propane and the world is kinda' closing in on us again so we have to keep the faith and depend on each other. BGs face is less red and not so scary but wow..that looked painful and really itchy. Poor thang.

Ya'll remember JFK and how all that went down and try to believe that it won't happen again, umkay?

^j^

antihistamine high

I have to pick and choose which times to believe that BG is like REALLY sick and not just being a diva. When I saw the red welpy race in person today I had a flashback to her childhood at this time of year. The high priced pediatric derm guy said that it wasn't really a reaction to anything like an allergy, but a very tender state of skin that is easily irritated, especially when living in the freakin' middle of a farm. Can you say steroids, again?? Thanks Tracy :)

I talked with my friendboss today because I was missing her and MS at the lunch table. When you eat alone it doesn't take nearly as long! We're all in a state of limbo right now wondering if there will be anybody left for the new year. The little general is retiring soon so she can care for worry the shit out of Big John every single day. I only live about 8 miles north so it's an easy visit to their house. I will miss her face and her faith and her wisdom. A Quaker by birth, she joined the UMC after moving to D'burg from Mt. Vernon IL. I imagine a fruitcake will be delivered for this festive upcoming holiday season. We played a game with it for years, one that was invented by my aunt and uncle one year when they slipped one of those dollar Claxton bricks into my present. Because you know what they say: "It's always the same one comes back around."

My mama's 80th birthday is next week so we'll need to plan a celebration of some sort but not a "party" per se. We always come up with something simple like going to Java Cafe or anywhere besides the eggs+doughnuts place. There's a really cool eatery downtown now that's a deli/gift shop and it's divine. Think a new generation funky type of GAFCO. Their wreaths are already out on the brick buildings but to be fair, they have to get ready for the parade. That's permitted before Thanksgiving because Santa Claus comes to town the Monday night after. I don't know who he is now, but over the years he's been mostly Mr. Lipford, god rest his soul. President of the bank no less! The FUMC youth always throw a spaghetti supper prior to the parade to raise funds for something or other. I have washed many an industrial sized kitchen appliance in my day.

Sadness followed me home yesterday and I can't really pinpoint the reason. Maybe just tired again after four days of what-the-hell-can-happen-next. That's why blog fairy's recent gift was so sweet. Nothing that you sit and watch over will ever turn out right so forget it. Play it by ear, go through the motions and try not to climb the water tower. My friend told me about her buddy who married off a daughter in a very conservative southern town and proceeded to dance with the yard man and all the cooks from the club. That, my friends, is keeping the faith.

on being an advocate and thanksgiving plans

I had the distinctly solemn duty of witnessing a legal document signed by my friend with me as a witness. She's very sick and all she wanted at the time was to make sure everything was kosher for her surviving adult child. Since then, she has turned the corner and is improving so thankfully that's one detail he won't have to worry about later. The attorney was an old friend who has always been a crush since i first met him my divorce (#1) By the time I got to 2 I was too tired to even think about using energy for that kind of relationship. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and most of them involve giving my power to somebody else. I won't say that it will never happen again, but I'm pretty much enjoying "it is what it is." Less drama.

In the Phillipines it is horrendous and the lack of organization for relief in the area is pathetic. Evidently their government doesn't have a regular seminar on what happens when the shit hits the fan. The sat images that I saw look sickeningly like NJ and NY following Sandy. All the major news folks are talking about how the Dems are outdone with Obama and I can understand that position plus support it. It ain't rocket science and it's tax dollars paying for it so, get ya'lls shit together. Do not bail out big banks owned by filthy rich people and corporations. Take care of your homies. Like the next president always said "It takes a village."

My brother and I are both working on Thanksgiving so we're making plans to do plates=to=go all around when I get off. Mary Lou will be open selling to the public and I noticed that my home church is serving that day as well. I will be off for Christmas so we will cook breakfast and enjoy each others' company as long as we don't go past daddy's scheduled window. It can be tricky, but we keep the faith. Here's a big shoutout to my friend and previous co=worker Tommy who trained as a nurse and is now the patient. This too shall pass, brother. With faith, all things are possible.

didn't take you to raise

Lord God almighty and praise sweet baby jeebus the annual soybean harvest is almost over because it looks like the desert around here what with all the dust flying and the leaves swirling. About a thousand acres of beans and corn have been harvested over the past month. Daddy said he always remembered finishing up beans on Thanksgiving day. It's colder now, and the air will soon be clearer as soon as the rains and snows cleanse the earth. I must say that most of what I've seen around this place is very well planned so that no amount of land is wasted, and to my brother I have to give credit for that miracle. When we moved here Daddy was living out his golden years wandering around fixing ancient barbed wire fencing to keep cows in. Bubba chased calves for a couple of years and said, I think not. And there went the mooing on long winter nights. Things, they change.

Hopefully they morph into something a bit kinder to the earth because really? I've never been a survivalist but I'm thinking batteries and bottled water. Hopefully Big Ernie will coming swooping in to us like John Denver in "Oh God!" Or, umm, like Kevin Costner and that adorable cast in the corn field. Sometimes we have to look at where we've been as practice for what's ahead. And of course if you don't give up the race? I was speaking of weather phenoms the other day and forgot to mention the back to back Mississippi/Forked Deer floods in south Dyersburg. Coincidence..nope. That was a clear message that there needs to be another way to get off of this high place that didn't get submerged. For that, I'm thankful because I'm scared to death of water snakes. I mean total panic!

We have extra people around who all belong to Boogs so there's never a dull or quiet moment unless you claim one for yourself. At that, I am a champ. We had to boost the Cadi (yes already, my bad) this afternoon in the cold dusty wind so that BG and Daddy can get it street legal. She's a beautiful piece of art on wheels and I will always remember the love that came with that gesture and others from a family that is a solid part of my legacy in the 'burg. BigE works in mysterious ways when you have faith.

^j^

busy season

I began to write about visiting with a friend in a hospital bed when I realized that I was sharing PHI on my blog which is totally not cool. Just ask Dooce! So when I realized I'd get canned for that I switched gears and headed to neverland where thoughts swirl like these gorgeous yellow maple leaves. I usually do a Veteran's day post for my dad but I told him yesterday and meant the thanks. He was just a farm boy wet behind the ears when he traveled the country for Air Force service. On a break, he and mama got married on Valentine's day because she's always been about having a theme. Sometimes I wish I had inherited more of that creativity, but then I'm one who will admit when the fatigue is too much to fight. She didn't quit trying until there was no other choice. Even though I have manic moments, my mood is usually pretty stable because I concentrate on making it that way and letting things collide rather than me micromanage them like a freakin' remote controlled plane. Chill sister.

So my friend Drew wrote today of having no friends other than the electronic ones inside a computer and I related to that type of loneliness. And like he said? We have done it to ourselves. What if Lewis and Clark had required an IPad to make that trail? They did it the hard way, without technology to guide them. They relied on their extensive knowledge of nature which was pretty predictable back then (i.e.pre-global warming). It makes me particularly mad to see that the oil producing nations yanking us around like a dog on a chain. My observation is this...due to the economy people don't buy any more petrol than it takes to get to work and go back home to do it all again THUS the price of product goes down. Really! Meanwhile NK has enough synchronized Hitler wannabes' to kill every man woman and child in the southeast which might not be a bad idea. I'm beginning to hope that the stupid gene will just morph on out into the ozone. Hey...it could happen!

Peace

hibernation as sport

The sciatica that has plagued my right side for weeks is not improving, even with meds. I'm very careful about posture now and spend a whole lot of time stretched out on the bed just vegetating. Thus I was in bed when the sun set yesterday and up when it rose this morning. The light is glorious, filtering through the colored leaves as shadow play. I rarely take pictures in morning light and that's a shame because the clarity is awesome. Two nights of 11 hours helps Poopie to keep going. My cousin called late and was alarmed when I said I'd been in bed since five. "What's wrong??!" Just tired, that's all.

There is time to kill between now and eggs+doughnuts and I intend to not waste a minute of it. Yesterday I wandered from room to room, stopping now and then to watch a movie or move clothes from washer to dryer. The dogs napped, the leaves fell and all was right with the world for just one day away from reality. When I heard about the biggest typhoon ever wiping out the Phillipines it just made me want to crawl back under the covers. Okay, now see? I began to watch weather patterns closely after that first big tsunami in Indonesia and have a healthy respect for the wrath of mother nature. What bothers me, though, is the fact that a lot of it is man made and the result of not being good stewards of the earth. It's a gift ya'll. Treat it as if! Please don't quote the stats to me about local weather phenoms when it's obvious that global warming is real.

Monday is Veteran's day and I'm full of respect and admiration for those who have served our country over the decades. My heart truly goes out to Iraq and Afghanistan vets because our government is not treating them very well in light of their horrendous terms of duty. I won't say that's purely a GOP thing, but you can bet your sweet ass the ones who got subsidies from the farm bill won't miss a meal. Just saying. In the style of true social workers, we borrowed a card have experimented with what can be bought with a monthly EBT allowance of $189 for one person. If you go easy on the junk food, it can last maybe three weeks, but after that it's mustard and ketchup in the 'frig. And that was before the cut.

Today is, as mama says, the Lord's day although she doesn't always rejoice and be glad in it because it involves getting up WAY early for church. She would much rather spend that precious two hours at home alone but daddy insists that he take every step he does....until he gets ready to do his own thing. Then he gets mad because she can't keep up with his frantic pace. I have seen him literally push her walker through a door and let it stop in her face! No patience. Nada.

That being said, I'm feeling pretty blessed these days thanks to Big Ernie and good friends and karma. I'm hearing gunshots as I type so I hope somebody's hunting and it's not the crazy neighbors having target practice. Dude likes to go down in the slough where the sound is bigger. O.M.G.

Bloom where you are planted~anonymous~

the hills are alive

My uncle Jim was an artist in every sense of the word and when he was out of school for the summer he did what any other guy would do...produce local community theater musicals. There were plenty to choose from in those years but I remember Oklahoma! well because my best friend Sisa was in it along with my good buddy for life JoelP. Prior to that was South Pacific and The Sound of Music. I never acted in them but totally loved it! When he wasn't busy doing that he was redoing some house or another. That family moved so many times I can't remember all of the homes. The one that sticks out, though, is the "new" old house on Main St. in Newbern. It was chock full of awesome antique pieces one of which I still have. There were also quilts but I didn't get one. My mother surprised me that Christmas with the very pink depression glass bowl I had lusted over. She has always been clever like that leaving notes for a scavenger hunt to something special or attaching a handwritten piece of her lovely prose to make a gift that much more meaningful. Now she tells you in her quivery little voice with the cute laugh that you are special and she's still your mama and you'd better listen. I told her we'll celebrate her 80th birthday the next two weeks on daddy's dime. That made her giggle even though he was mad as a wet hen because we were daring to not be glued to the teevee. It's a game now to see how long we can outlast him. Sad, but true.

The last gift that she specifically chose for me was a framed piece of embroidery from my friend Sue's antique shop and tearoom. I gushed when I saw it and she quietly talked to Denise behind my back and had it reserved just for me. Sue has since left the business and come out of semi-retirement to work again as a tech. We've been through some tough times together where both of us were just drama ridden but we've never stopped laughing together. She's one of those who will give you big girl panties whether you want them or not.

I've learned so much from the people I work with that I can't begin to say who was the biggest influence. That's a lot of years of people come and gone and sometimes we sit around the break room table and play "remember that one...". When I started work there my Gaga was an ER ward clerk on 2nd shift and the ER was about 1/4 the size it is now. Built in 1957 the facility would be added to over the years with each purchase.

During my time there it became financially attractive to offer substance abuse treatment. Most programs were paid through two weeks by insurance. If you've ever seen addiction up close and personal you know that two weeks is barely enough time to detox much less work on your "issues" with daily life and or the past. I am a firm believer in psychotherapy because it has saved my sanity on more than one occasion. Thanks Big E! BTW, that's one of the perks of the AHCA. Just saying.

Meanwhile back on the hill, it's Saturday morning and I'm in for the day, emergencies notwithstanding. The Cadi is parked lest we push our luck on the cops pulling it over. It's covered with gold leaves from the maple out back. Pretty!

Keeping the faith here ^j^

baby giggles

Having Booger around has been very different because the quiet is pierced now and then by the happiest sound alive which the pure unadulterated giggly joy of a 7 month old with two teeth. In a walker, playing with his TTW and eating. They nap together too and she rocks him to sleep while he holds the bottle. I don't believe she could love a kid more if she gave birth to it herself! We will be a special presence in his life because his grandma is dead and the rest of the family is scattered. This will be his Icangetawaywithanything hideaway.

The weather is picture perfect November with bright leaves and a nip to the air. Still propane-less, I'm pondering a venture to pull all the autumn clematis off the tank so propane guy won't have to do it (if) and when we can afford a delivery. This man let my debt ride for three solid years without anything more drastic than a handwritten note and a phone call now and them with my ASSURANCE that he would eventually get paid. And he did..well, all but 100 bucks of it which fits into the budget nicely. It usually doesn't get really cold until late December around here so the oil heaters will work nicely for the moment. With four dogs, there's always plenty of body heat. My last boyfriend thought I was the crazy dog lady, and lately I've decided that I probably am.

New York's new mayor looks like he probably doesn't know what he's in for considering the state of our infrastructure and economy but he wanted it so hey...go for it. I feel sure he'll look at more important things than stomping out obesity by banning large sodas. What a freakin' nazi man! I'm watching Rand Paul closely because I believe that he's a serious contender for prez and that scares the shit out of me. This man has done no good for the state of Kentucky and in fact took away the state sponsored healthcare that could have brought the voters out of the tobacco fields, at the very least. Tennessee is quite similar with the TennCare rolls that were created by Phil Bredesen have been reduced to "living on the streets" to qualify. That's just wrong. There was a lot of abuse at first and I understand that it was largely at the hands of the Ford family of West Tennessee. There's a whole tribe of them and most of the guys plus at least one auntie are players. The pharmacy and daycare pieces of that legislation got raped during the first years.

Pap smears are a regular part of my twice yearly routine now thanks to HPV and the changes it has made in my cervix. It's been going on for years moving from every 3 months back to six and I never expect it to be any different because after two procedures I had only one normal smear. I was asking our pathologists to read them just to save money!! The eventual course is toward cervical cancer but it is a slow moving type deal so that unless it's worse, it's pap smear as usual in six. Otherwise, it's onto plan B which is probably another LEAP. Oh joy!

I remember when my boss at the time told us that one day there would just be a few HUGE labs where everybody sends their stuff and by golly he was right. There are two major players in the diagnostic field and they process millions of specimens a year. Don't tell me they're 100% all the time because that's not possible unless you're Jesus which I certainly don't pretend to be. I'm more like one of the crazy disciples that bursts out into song along the road.

^j^

hump day

Aaand the muse returned today with a reminder that I haven't been babbling much of late choosing instead to pick and choose with whom I spend my valuable time. Today found me in a different work environment entirely and I must say it hasn't changed a bit. My co-worker has a tablet while I was struggling to stay connected with my not-so-smart phone. Most of the patients there are really sick and scared and the staff is very sensitive to that fact most of the time. I used to be a regular and it was good to visit with the crew if just for the day. My favorite gymnast/nurse was cooking something yummy in the crock pot for her family. Before she had her daughter I'd ask her to do cartwheels all the way down the hall and she could do it without missing a beat. Now her own daughter is becoming a gymnast as well. I love it when that happens.

One of the things that complicates healthcare so much is the demand for privacy and what constitutes following the law. I shake my head at the number of trees who died so that you can haul home a privacy statement to pitch in the garbage. But by golly you were told! I learned the hard way about reading the fine print after my previously described financial nightmare due to DirecTV. Yeah. We had been customers for years and were out of contract so when I complained about overbilling they offered DVR and a ten dollar a month credit. Fine, I said. What they failed to tell me is that when I accepted their offer they automatically put me into a two year contract with say, $475 worth of early termination fees. Which they proceeded to run on my DEBIT card in between paydays when it hurts the most, and it took three months for my bank to get it back because really? I had no clue. They told me when the installer left me an invoice the info was there. We've been major network deficient for almost a year now and watch tons of movies which I really like better than channel surfing.

When I came in this afternoon (following a lovely visit to the gyno)it was foggy and gray. I parked behind the Cadi and as I trudged through the wet grass I heard music. BG was taking a nap but I knew it was coming from the car. Lo and behold with no key in the ignition the radio was playing classic rock. Must have been the ghost of Mr. John and Ms Cissy! We're laying low with it because of low funds for insurance and reg but it's nice just to not be stuck with no vehicle! I talked to my cousin Patti today and she asked about aunt Granny then wouldn't shut up long enough to hear what I was trying to say. She's on mama's side and what we call here in the south "a character".

Things are changing rapidly now in all parts of my life and I'm really thankful for the hardships that have helped prepare me for what's coming. I've learned that as I grow and learn, Big Ernie will present me with a challenge that can be mastered with something I already found out didn't work for that particular problem. It's all about the movement toward something rather than away from a God of love and peace. Ya'll know how Google tries to mess with you and change your password all the time like EVERYBODY has GMail. Well they did that to me today and I had to remember my password to get to the blog. Any guesses what it is?

time for a rant

Well, not really a rant just some general pondering of what's going on inside this country and in regards to our status as a world financial and technological wizard. Our healthcare system sucks and many people don't have access to it other than a local ER. Many social work programs designed to lift people from poverty into a better life area threatened right now as the results of the famous Farm bill (thanks GOP) included cutting aid to lower income folks across the board. And that was part of the stimulus package that Dems put in place. Now, I may be simple but please explain to me how taking away commodities from the least of these who are there by no fault of their own makes things better? How does this threaten a millionaire Republican. You people make me sick, and that means Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck and all the other histrionic harpies that dominate conservative teevee. I am not anti-entitlement but a firm believer in "if you play you gotta pay."

So here's the deal in Virginia. This libertarian (republican/approves gay marriage) has the reigning parties looking over their shoulders and from what I've seen there a significant number of voters who want multiple parties. Hey///why not give it a try? Things couldn't get a lot worse if the pipeline gets built and the economy crashes and the infrastructure crumbles. Only this time it won't be on your HDBLUEray disc player. I feel oddly disconnected to the world when I'm home now, choosing to sit and think without having to be heard for validation. Of course that doesn't hurt! My body is giving out in places I didn't know were there. Even naproxen won't touch it.

If I had any doubt about how our government fails us, it was in their lack of intel prior to 9/11 or the failure to act thereupon. How do that many guys fly under the radar here for FIVE freakin' years learning to fly planes and nobody notices something's up. The wave of war mongering that followed that attack was initiated by none other then Dubya and Cheney and their cronies. War for sale, ya'll. Kids of my friends went there and some died. And for what? Nothing was accomplished. Now they're spying on us and getting caught which doesn't make "Mr. Snowden et al" so evil. As for Russia and Israel? I wouldn't want to mess with either of them...just saying. Other tragedies like Katrina and Sandy continue to haunt those who been rendered homeless by an angry Mother earth. Al Gore told 'ya so.

Happy trails on the week ahead ^j^

virgin voyage

I drove the Caddy yesterday for the first time to pick up the grands for a spin down the road. Mama couldn't get over how much room it has and how nice the seats are. Blind as a bat, she kept looking for the buttons to roll the window down and pull the handle. It's gonna be a whole new world for them, being ridden around in style as they should be. Every time I've brought the trusty old Camry with loud engine and plastic windows to the church parking lot, I think about how mortified she would be if she was what her carriage looked like! Ditto for Daddy's appearance. There's a blessing in every situation if you just accept it.

The corn is done and beans are next with some already harvested. Trees are golden and dropping their leaves fast. My house is still a mess but much less of one thanks to diligence on both our parts. There's been another shift in spirit the past couple of weeks and I feel confident that we're past the worst of things for now. More will come, but it's the first time in YEARS that I've even been able to imagine an end to neverending drama and hardship. Much of that is my new way of thinking which is fakin' it 'til I make it and counting blessings. There's nothing like gratitude to make a girl humble. The picking is done here so it's time to move toward plan B on that deal. I just wish the ones who came by and bought could all see the house when it's not covered up like a pawn shop or long term yard sale. Hey...ya'll know where to find me!

I got out last weekend with a good friend to a totally different type of gathering from what I've been used to which is none except for the class reunion. I sat on the tailgate of a truck and drank beer just like the smartass redneck gal that I can be. Gretchen Wilson's song says it all.

Ya'll enjoy your weekend while we save lives up in the sawmill. Peace ^j^

karma's gonna get you

Once upon a time in a land years ago, I became an unwitting player in a Nigerian conman type scam. It involved packages brought to my door and a UPS shipping label to NIGERIA. I'm sure they were all excited and laughed as they reeled me in. About the third day I got scared and called the law and then Nigeria threatened me with an operator assisted call at work. I paid for the return of all the items, even though HS told me I didn't have to. At that time my friend Count Zubrovka promised me good karma down the road for doing the right thing. I've always believed this but until I started receiving anonymous gifts from BF a couple of years ago it wasn't real. The mailman knows the story now and always leaves treats for the dogs when he comes by. That, my friends, is a miracle. Count Z has since then given me not only a badass camera but a freakin' CAR! Fo FREEEE.We grew up together since my grandma lived next door. Mama said Miss Cissy would dose the count up with paregoric as a baby because she didn't know what to do. He's grown up just fine honey!! Thanks to Z and his wife for an enduring friendship that I feel sure will go to the grave with me. I haven't driven the car yet because it needs registration and whatnot. That will have to wait until payday next week. We've been carpooling for about six months now and it will be a welcome change to have my own ride. I'm ready for a sale booth so I can get down to bare cleanable floors, for the holidays you know. This entire year I've been thinking that I'm working Christmas and New Year's day and I'm not. There's some more good karma ;)

As for you dear BF, you have given me a reason to believe in miracles and happy endings no matter how tough things get. You are an angel.

^j^