peace of mind

Today was one of those where I never much looked up except to see somebody else with an attitude wanting to hassle the blood bank lady. She is, by definition, almost psychotic from the emotional wear and tear of the past few years. If you are a young whippersnapper buck who dares to be rude to said pushed into a corner and weary post menopausal woman, you will be ignored. Got it ya'll? Quitting time was within sight and BG called to tell me that the wonky window in the trusty old Camry had fallen INTO the door and shattered. I went postal! That was about the time I started crying and asking Big Ernie what in the hell it is I'm supposed to be doing because this sure ain't it. I have literally turned my life over to the situation as is which is totally not acceptable nor safe for any of us. One day at a time ya'll.

Cousin Donna is on a roll with keeping me on the WWW which tickles the shit out of me because I do so love to type. My very first PC was a second hand deal bought from the local community college by my parents. That's the one that BG used for school and games and I mostly just rearranged cords on. Back them ICQ was the big thing and I caught her emailing some 24 year old guy when she was 16. He apologized profusely and said she had lied about her age. Right. I bought a Dell after that and wore that sonofabitch out. The hard drive is still in my mommy box just in case some Indian feels like helping me clean it up. It's history, and I refuse to let go of the importance of the past. Currently I have my mother's PC complete with sight impaired keyboard which really helps, truth be known. I figure I'll be blind early on like her so we better get this shit done while we can.

I know that I am past the point of being able to control the whole deal. Right now, I'm just looking for direction and asking questions, with faith.

^j^