Saturday, January 23, 2016

morning has broken

When I left mama's room yesterday and headed home, I kissed her on the cheek and knew that I would not see her breathing again because the interventions were off limits.  It is a testament to her fighting spirit that she survived this long through all the various ailments that kick the elderly's collective asses.  We shuffle them around from one little box to another that involves corporate profit margins and they die miserably unless their caregivers are in it for something other than the almighty dollar.  Fortunately, that has been the case with me and mine.  During the past five months this little team of villagers called Janice and Billy have pulled together to make things happen.  That there was a lot of medicare money spent is beside the point because : Everybody deserves a chance.  Which brings me to palliative care as a practice *cough*.  There comes a point where treatment is futile and comfort is what's important.  Any practitioner worth their salt will tell you that if they're in it for the right reason.

T spent the night because mom seemed anxious and straight up asked him to not leave or let her hurt.  She was looking him in the eye when she passed and I was still asleep but headed that way after his call.  I've been watching the moon like I did with Daddy and it was low, full and golden early this morning.  The snow makes it especially pretty.  Lorna said that full moons are portals of transition so that makes sense.   Before we left and hospice pronounced plus FH picked up, I bent to kiss her and Millette removed her chain holding the angel from Noler and she and daddy's wedding rings.  It's a little something BG put together for her.  I am amazed at the family bonds that support me right now, and not just blood kin.  Dell explained to me that my parents were so much the love of God that this is their payback and I like that idea.  A life lived with devotion to a higher power and loyalty to the least of these is what Jesus would do.

Thankful today for my sweet mother's life ~


  1. It's not been an easy time lately but it sounds like you gave all the lie and support of a village lifting you up.
    May the peace and quiet knowledge that they are in a better place ease your heart.
    Hugs and many prayers.
    Love, Cowboy

  2. This made me cry, Janie. So sorry for this loss. Hold your memories close.

  3. I'm sorry for your loss. Losing both your parents so close together has to be difficult. Thinking of you and praying for God's comfort in the coming days and patience in all that you will have to do.

  4. You were a wonderful daughter to her, Janie. This post is a sweet tribute to her.

  5. My heart aches for you. The love and bond between you and your parents has always been one of the things we've shared in common. I feel your pain and know your blessings, all in the same breath. Many hugs to you, Janie. <3