fear of death

I remember when I was much younger not being able to wrap my mind around either the concept of physical death and spiritual eternity or the infinity that is creation with no beginning or end.  I would retreat into a safe spot and block those thoughts until I was onto some other issue less fearful and what must have seemed much more important to a 30 something like cookies or birthday parties.   My poor tired little mother is afraid now, even after telling me over and over she wished she were dead.  I have no comfort for her because I know the feeling on both counts.  Sometimes reality sucks.  I think it is the waiting and worrying that makes death so stressful, not the act itself.  I have noticed that grief from sudden vs not-unexpected deaths is experienced afterwards while most of the time with a prolonged illness there is some time to accept and make peace with it.  Both ways are painful and both take months to years.

I did my first ever liver cleanse last night and woke up for the first time in 6 weeks not coughing.  I don't know what's up with that but I"LL TAKE IT!  Hopefully healthier skin and gut action will follow.  Lorna told me the basic recipe and I did mine without the epsom salts like I've seen online.  There was no milk thistle laying around so I guess I'll have to visit Donna for that.

It's cold again, so much that we have to leave the water running and the Camry is loud as hell.  Me and the dogs stay warm on the south side of the house at night.  Soooo...I didn't see the debate but I heard Hillary came out swinging and Bernie took it like a champ.  This woman is shooting herself in the foot if she thinks rich Dems will "trump" the Sanders platform.  An honest to goodness excuse she gave for not electing Bernie is that the Congress is GOP controlled and you can't do anything with them anyway.  Like they're gonna' play nice with her?????