Most days I do good to remember my own name and find some shoes. Socks never match but at least they're new and so is the underwear. My drawers had so many holes in them that I was truly afraid I'd end up at the ER and all my co-workers would laugh. Nothing there matches either, but it's clean. Poor Mom is worried to death because she only has one pair of pjs meaning only one pair that buttons up the front old school style. She hangs out in those little cotton dusters and is tired as hell of the Big Orange cast, particularly considering their season thus far.
The Vols memorabilia still sits in the 80 degree house surrounded by neighbors who know what cars should be around which is a mighty good feeling. Sometimes I just go in there and wander, hearing sounds of the past like my brothers and I giggling in front of a giant window fan upstairs or Daddy decorating the Christmas tree under Mom's watch. He loved it as much as her and couldn't wait to get out those little white candles to put in the front windows. The original house is a log cabin where you can actually see the logs inside of the living and dining area. The rest is primo wood for walls. The windows are not much better than mine and we actually had to put plastic in front of the one behind mama's bed to keep the wind out.
Today is my baby brother's birthday and I sent him a happy early on just because I love him. He enjoys the special things like me. Bubba says it's "just another day." Alrighty then! I'll take cake even if it is a week late. This is what my Daddy meant when he told me that the older you get, the faster time seems. I have maybe ten good years left in the workforce and no possible way to survive on SS if it's still there. And you know what? It pisses me off too that so many disability recipients are addicts. That's not a disability...it's a life choice and there are options other than chasing the dragon.
As with most of my life, the addictions are simple. Ultra, Salem and 10 hours of sleep keep me in the middle of the road as we wander through this next phase, whatever it may be. I visited the tombstone store today and priced various combinations that would include Daddy's bronze plaque. It was hot but I was determined to at least start the process and I'm glad I did. At least now I know where it's going to go.
Peace and love ~