morning chat

Ava and I left the hospital at around the same time for different reasons.  I learned a lot from she and the other members of the cath lab crew but she especially tickled me with her infamous "resting bitch face."  She's a traveler now and her contract is almost up so she'll be home in a few weeks and I want to see her so we talked this morning.   She giggled as I told her the bond I felt with that particular RBF.  Still do!  We were literally in the trenches together like so many of our co-workers. 

I stayed up late and woke up wonky because my BP was up and I could tell.  I haven't had any meds in two days so I had to re-up at the pharmacy and pay my car insurance before it canceled.  We are talking LEAN times here.  I'm hustling as hard as I can to sell stuff before the move and there will probably be a yard sale when it cools down....if ever.  The heat index is currently 114.  Did I mention how much I hate the heat?  As much hassle as the winter weather is, you can always put on another layer. Geez man.   

I've been life insurance shopping and have seen numbers ranging from 10 bucks a month to 120.  I think 5K will cover it.  It kind of bothers me that I have nothing to leave to Lauren and Reaves but my parents didn't have much either.  Had some kind soul not told us about a 10K policy Daddy was eligible for as a retired federal worker, we would have been out of luck on his funeral.  

By the time Mom died in assisted living, there was nothing left but the furniture and we had a yard sale by run by a woman who totally ripped us off.  I ran the 2nd one and Damascus picked up the rest.  It was as they say "a long process."  There was  no old money from the family inheritance because that was long gone.  It was truly a riches to rags story with mom's bunch. 

My parents did not own the cabin, the Calcutt family did and still does.  They lived rent free there for our entire lives on a gentleman's agreement with Daddy as farm manager.  I have always known them to be a part of our lives here.  That Harvey is interested enough in the preservation of this place when he could just sell it is very impressive to me.  He wants to carry on the family tradition.

After Pnoler and I married we bought a house close to the hospital when I was 7 months pregnant.  That is the home that Lauren landed in until she was 4 and we moved back to the farm.  She loved every minute of living life as a country kid and being so close to her grandparents.  

More and more I see my life here as a blessing.  Except for four years in college and a few in town, this place has been my bliss. I know every field road and the route of the river.  I have taken pictures of the structures before they fell.  Basically, it's a story that you can't make up.  There is one wooden barn left and the dairy barn with silos.  A good straight line wind or bump of the combine would knock down that wood barn like a stack of cards.  

As I look back on our days here, I realize that Daddy worked his ass off to provide for our family.  That his father-in-law is the one who gave him the job here makes it even more special.  Of course he had his day gig with the USDA but he was pretty much on call 24/7 as farm manager.  One of my favorite memories is of him coming in from pulling calves on a cold Christmas morning.  With chains!!

Well, this has turned into a ramblefest and brought a few tears but in a good way, ya know?  I feel time slipping away from me and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.  As Hoss would say "And so it goes....."

^j^