Sunday, June 21, 2015

more sadness

This whirlwind of a week ended last night when a hysterical BG called  me from work with the news that her daddy died.  She had talked to him on Friday and his continued health problems had turned into a case of cellulitis in his leg. Someone at the house where he lives found him yesterday afternoon following what looked like a peaceful death.  That is about the only blessing that I see at this point.  Pnoler was a good man...the kind that everybody knew and loved.  He was a hard worker and provided for our family for many years, even helping us out a bit recently.  Divorce doesn't change love and respect and I have both for him.  Lauren was his reason for carrying on with life along with helping others who were where he had been. Almost ten years sober, he worked with those starting recovery at a facility in Jackson.  Not many of them will keep their sobriety like he did, and I admire what it took for him to get there.  I have a lot of fond memories of our many years of marriage that I will carry with me until my own death.  Peace be still my dear friend.

I woke up this morning confused and not remembering why the heaviness in my heart, but it came to me quickly.  BG is still sleeping and faces the task of going to get his things and look for life insurance. He has no family except for a half brother  and it took me a lot of years to understand who he was and how he was raised which was much different than me.  At the age of 13 he found that the woman who he thought was his sister was actually his birth mother.  I urged him for years to reconcile with her and he insisted it wasn't important to him.  He was raised by his grandmother and step-grandfather both of whom were a piece of work.  There is a giant void on that side of the family for my daughter and I hate that.

Right now, I don't know what else to expect because the hits just keep on coming.  Please send prayers and good karma for me and mine.  We are struggling with grief and loss on a lot of levels.

^j^


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