family tradition

I'm laying the groundwork for a lot of ideas and leaving room for the spirit to work as Mr. Yates would say. I spoke with a nurse today who is a co-worker of my cousin Sandy and we got into a long conversation about the history and current status of all my relatives. Talk about depressing! The thing that struck me was how intently she paid attention to every detail responding with another question to help me fill in the gaps on my family tree. Gaga had this painting of an apple tree with everybody's name on the fruit and the only one laying on the ground was my uncle who died at 36. Her husband died at 45 from heart disease and she never remarried. Terri and I talked about my aunt, since she knew her from doing business at the frame shop. I had totally forgotten about that chapter until she brought it up. Nancy and Debbie did that biz together and passed it back and forth. Both of them had the extreme OCD personality required to make a perfect frame. Auntie's last piece was BG's graduation stuff from UTM. Iris and Bob had the store by then and now some other guy who drives a hog is selling high priced photography AND high priced frames right next to the tattoo shop off court square. I'm just wondering which CEO has that kind of money to spare.

The memories that are shared with friends and family are something unique to each of us and help us to tweak the definition of who we are in the whole scheme of things. BG and I were having an emergency budget meeting at the ovalround table a little while ago and I found myself in tears describing how I feel about my parents being so dependent. Mama has cried to me over the years about being impatient with Geraldine during the last years and I have to say I think she was justified. G Inez could be quite demanding and melodramatic on occasion and obviously loved being waited on like my own mother. But...here's the thing. My mother is much sweeter about the whole deal resulting in tons of co-dependent meltdowns. About the only time I ever saw Gaga cry was when she spoke of Harold and how all the money from his hard work was gone. My friend Kay the undertaker is about to be involved with a business move that has taken a long time to accomplish. The history of Curry Funeral Home is awesome and I will never forget the day Bubba and I went all the way up top looking through death records for farm history. There were birds in there..for real! Kay and I played there as kids, not realizing that the business of putting one under was so serious. Great place for scary bunking parties, I'm just saying. Ms. Ann, God rest her soul, paid for my divorce following her death. Y'all figure THAT one out.

For about a year now I've felt my right hip popping out of joint unexpectedly to where I have to straighten up and walk right. This is probably Big E's way of reminding me that if I don't use it I'll lose it. Everybody thinks I look thin but my weight hasn't changed since before surgery. It was just a damn harrowing time, if you'll excuse my French. I'm trying not to "think too much" and just roll with it because at this point things look pretty hopeless on several different levels. I'll not bore with details because it's history as of this day. I feel the prayers and karma and I'm trying really hard to get out there and make things happen for myself. Sometimes? All that's required to move forward is slowing down long enough for an honest conversation.

^j^