Wednesday, October 8, 2014

and so it goes

I had duty at the "alternate" site today and was busy as a one armed paper hanger. Mid afternoon I got told in very unfriendly terms that I am SO LOUD because a co-worker and I were laughing and cutting up. Not by anybody with any authority, mind you but some bitch who is unhappy with life and everybody in it. Right before that I got a call from the nursing home telling me that mom needs further evaluation for worsening dementia and would I give consent. Certainly, I said, like I didn't already know that. It's a state mandated tool to see if the resident is in an appropriate setting which is kind of odd since everybody there ranges from totally incoherent to wheelchair or walker bound. It was right after that when I took off on a delivery and returned to find that my phone had been stolen. To say that this is most inconvenient considering my current financial status is an understatement. Even with insurance there's a 50 dollar co-pay and it might as well be 50 million at this point. I try so hard to look on the sunny side and the hits just keep on coming. The house phone is long gone, a victim of past budget cutting so here I sit a quarter mile from the crazy neighbors with no way to call the law if things go south. Once again, I have to ask the universe what lesson it is I'm supposed to be learning. Perhaps it's that life just sucks most of the time and then you die? The phone theft was my last straw.

This has been the hardest two years of my life both physically and emotionally as all the issues that have dogged me worsened to the point that I totally wanted to give up, yet I didn't until now. It would take a miracle to save what's left of my life and make it halfway enjoyable. Over the years I've been a drama queen on occasion over things of little significance but I've morphed into a low angst highly optimistic form of keepin' the faith. My life is a litany of services being interrupted and crises arising at the worst possible times, thus proving that sometimes the devil just takes over and runs the show. You can't fight that kind of karma, only Big Ernie can. I'm just waiting for something to blow on the trusty old Camry and then I don't know what.

Honestly I've tried to keep the faith and to help others do the same. Today just ain't one of those times ^j^

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