lean on me

I can't tell you how long it's been since I slept in the same bed except with a cat who warms my butt.  Lauren and Reaves don't stay overnight because there's one full bed for the three of us.  Of course there is a couch but that's critter bedding.

I woke up this morning and headed to the doctor to get Poopie checked out and he gave me some valuable advice about my gut situation.  Less invasive is better.  Every time you have a surgical procedure it's a risk.  Then today I visited my GP to get enough meds fo' free from the corporate pharmacy.  Who the hell knows what I'm taking.  With multiple health issues it's always a grocery list of drugs.  I'm about ready to quit all of them and just die peacefully.  Nope....not giving up.  Just looking forward.  

When Reaves graduates from high school I will be 80 and her daddy will be 70.  What are our odds, really.  Lauren and Kim are kickass moms who love that girl to death.  They would do anything for her, literally.  They each have their own struggles yet they have managed to raise Reaves up right.  At five big old years old she is wise beyond her years.

I got a surprise phone call from an old friend today about a writing opportunity which I am all about.  I'll be a stringer, so to speak.  More later on that.  I don't do nights or holidays but I can interview and write like a mofo.  I have always believed that Dyersburg and the entirety of West Tennessee has a lot to offer.  Small business is rocking, not only this town but many others in our area.

I don't have any answers to what is going on in our little world right now.  Too much bickering and partisan politics.  Extra bad abuse of Mother Earth.  Lots of gun violence.  Blame in on who you will but I believe that it's a wakeup call for all of us to hold hands and sing for peace ^j^

here comes santa claus

Tonight is the annual Dyersburg Christmas parade. FUMC does a lasagna supper before and I dropped off my cake this morning on the way to paradise.  I know I should be down there helping but I've been there done that.  I haven't been to the parade since Lauren was a little kid.  The hospital used to sponsor a float and I would work on that.  Those days are long gone.  

We had a joyful day and I had the privilege of visiting Angie at her office and got a great big hug.  We go wayyyyy back.  My daddy donated his O neg back when Chelsea was born and needed immediate transfusion.  I don't remember who did the delivery but she's alive and well and has a kid of her own.  

Me and my partner in crime are about to hit it hard after the possible tornado and do some pecan business.  It never gets really rolling until December after all the leaves are gone.  I'm selling them for 5 bucks for a gallon bag un-cracked.  Buyers can then go to Pennington Seed and Supply and get them cracked there.  

play that funky music

Welp, this old lady shook her booty last night at the Funkmonster concert and maintained quite well.  It was a fun show, as usual.  These guys are masters of the game and you just can't NOT dance to their music.  My friend Churlisha celebrated her 60th birthday in style and even got called onto the stage by the band.  I'm usually in bed no later than 9 and last night I was up until 2AM.  My gracious DD brought me home about 1130 because I know my limits but I wasn't ready to go down just yet because of the adrenaline, I reckon.  Hey....it was good exercise!  I played hooky from church today even though I was awake in time to go.  My body said "just no."  That's the extent of my partying for the year.  

It never ceases to amaze me how I can go to an event like that and don't know but ten people in the room.  Of course Bubba knows all of them and their mama'n'them.  We had a special table right smack in front of the stage.  That was one of my perks for being a sis who helped out.  There was an Indian wedding going on next door and they bumped up their music way before we did but were gone before the show was over. 

The wind is howling today and I can hear pecans hitting the tin roof like bombs.  If you are on my gift list, that will be your present.  Money is tight and 'dat baby needs some toys.  Well, actually she doesn't NEED them but she still believes so there ya' go.  

Y'all keep it in the middle of the road ^j^

partay

It's amazing what three people can do when they're on a mission.  Me and Bubba and Mayberry got the whole room set up for tomorrow night in two hours.  The folks from the night before left it quite clean which is nice.  We are expecting a mayor or two to attend because well, it's a big deal in this little burg.  There is also an event going on next door which should be interesting, to say the least.  

I woke up this morning way early because bedtime came quickly after serving up all that food and two hours of playing.  Like the little hostess that she is, he was gifted with a Chickfila mint put from her little hand  to Uncle Bubba's after he left.  He don't do kids but I think this one has him wrapped.  In many ways, I still think she looks like little Janie.  She for sure has the attitude.  Sassy and sweet.  Truth or dare.  Smart and emotional, but learning.  A friend and I were talking about the mess that gets left behind from all that super energy.  Next time, she picks it up!

I am scheduled to be a liturgist at FUMC on December 4th.  It is not the first time I have spoken from that pulpit but a first at this.   What started out as a staff shortage has turned into more interaction with laypeople who are willing to serve.  That is my happy place where I turn off the phone and forget about everything but the word of God.  I may not always make it to Sunday School but I'll be there for the service, Lord willing.

I went over by Curlisha's place today to bring her a ticket and some real live vanilla.  We watched The Bradys with Mark and then sang along with Adele.  She has a big birthday coming up tomorrow!

Y'all be well and believe ^j^

afterglow

Well, as usual, it took us about fifteen minutes to eat what I spent a week cooking!  Reaves skipped the rich stuff and had a banana with yogurt.  I ain't at all used to eating like that and Poopie let me know right off the bat that she didn't like it.  It's just sooooo good going down. What followed was a rowdy couple of hours playing everything that the princess wanted. She cheats at cards, BTW.  When she tried to swipe three of my forks we had a lesson on stealing and going to jail.  She broke a little trinket and as she repaired it with a glue stick I told her it wouldn't work.  By golly it did.  

Bubba and I have a couple of busy days ahead of us prepping for the Funkmonsters.  I'm really just a groupie at heart and I love seeing an event get pulled together.  He's a master at it with tons of nightclub experience.  Once when they had a really good bluegrass kind of group I was the official cook.  I had spent 300 bucks on food from Sysco and many hours cleaning up that nasty kitchen.  Needless to say, the food went away.  That was while I was still at the hospital.  The kitchen was an absolute grease pit, left by the previous owner. Good thing we never got inspected.

The rain has begun for real and I'm praying those girls make it safely back to Jackson.  Lauren met a lady the other day who said she had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving.  She will be delighted by the leftovers as well as the other girl.....umm at the vape store maybe. There was enough there for 10 people but we didn't let it go to waste.  

Going to the doc(s) next week is on the schedule.  Something is going on that lets me know that things ain't quite right.  If you are in tune with your body, you just know.  IMHO, I've had a sinus infection for about six months.  Taking antibiotics with an ostomy is tricky even with a probiotic.  My stoma is a source of chronic pain, even on a good day.  And because of renal issues I can't take any sort of NSAID.  

We had a couple of teary moments today, mother and daughter like.  Our friends gave her some money to help with gas and stuff and I pulled out pictures of her Daddy that I had found.  She sat with Reaves and told her who was in all of them.  She is such a good mother.  She even taught her how to meditate.  "Be the pond" is the chant with palms together, eyes closed and legs crossed.

I am thankful for all of you for being a part of my life over the years.  We have many memories and it's odd how they pop up at the strangest times.  Keep the faith ^j^

thanks be to god

Yesterday USPS delivered me the most comfy outfit I have ever worn.  I slept in it and wore it all day today!  There is another set on the way.  This is what I live in during the cold months.  It's been pretty warmish so that's nice.  Rain all day tomorrow!  I noticed this afternoon that somebody raked my front yard under the pecan tree.  Surely there are some nuts still left.  If not I will call the law and turn in my video.  Just kidding!

My friend Churlisha and her niece LaShonda went shopping today and bonded.  That really makes me smile!  They make jewel creations as well.  Shon has had a hard life and deserves a better place to live closer to family.  It's her decision I reckon.  You can go to court and divorce your parents!  Sometimes it's the next right thing.

I actually went to Kroger on Manic Wednesday before Thanksgiving to get Reaves some fruit in case she doesn't like the menu.  Who loves you like Gaga kiddo?  Surely you can find something you like among all the goodies.  I actually found a pack of 24 huge paper cake plates at the 'gentral today.  Much better than those plastic ones with Frosty.  I have one due to be cooked on Sunday and delivered to FUMC on Monday.  Plus I promised the crew at Headlines another. With holly, no less.  Drake gets deviled eggs because he's cute.  Dude almost knocked me down today while telling a story. It was hilarious!

I got a new storm door today only Oscar didn't know it and he ran head on into it because....glass.  He wasn't used to that.  I think it stunned him for a minute but now he knows. I'm about to round all the furbabies up and call it a day.  Thankful for all y'all ^j^

the real deal

I'm gearing up to make cakes around here and I happened to remember back in the day when Mitzi Lou would give me some that her aunt had made with real vanilla beans and liquor.  You just can't beat it.  Sooooo, I hit her up for some and picked up a huge bottle today.  She giggled when she told me to take it easy with that stuff, and felt kind of embarrassed about being seen in a liquor store at 10AM buying some to start another batch of vanilla.  The beans are quite expensive and she said sometimes she reuses them.  Then it has to sit and simmer for a few months until you get full flavor from the bean.  That's what you call REAL vanilla extract kids.  

I feel really bad for those folks in New York buried in six feet of snow.  I bet there was not a loaf of bread or a half gallon of milk left in Buffalo grocery stores because they knew it was coming.  While talking with an old friend about this that and another and he schooled me on deer hunting and how their migration patterns have changed over the years, which was totally over my head.  We chatted about theology and grandkids and told each other Happy Thanksgiving.  I love friends like that, who tell you to "call if you need me" and mean it.

Patty shared some of her decadent fudge with me and that got shared,  This is the woman who volunteered to take me home last Funkmonsters after I had worked the door and actually had only two beers.  Better safe than sorry.  I can't see at night anyway.

Mamye just left me with a couple of pieces of pizza from the Grab and Go.  Most delicious!  And with that, I'm off to watch something totally mindless.  Y'all be safe ^j^

 

Mama

Were she still alive she would be close to 90 like Daddy.  They died five months apart and those stories have been told.  I live in their home now, me and the furbabies.  And sometimes random visitors come by and make my day.  It's been cold since I got up after changing Poopie twice during the night.  Needless to say, the washer is running.  While I planned on making a pajama run to Kroger pickup the lort' blessed me with a cleanup and warm clothes.

It is a burden, but at least I'm above ground.  Tomorrow is church day and LP is joining me without Reaves.  Dat' baby has a sleepover tonight and a birthday party tomorrow.  She cut her own hair, BTW.  I have nightmares of Lauren's sleepovers during the early years.  When she was little it was always just Allison and Julia and Cyd Mitchell.  I made the serious mistake of taking on a bunch tweenagers on a couple of occasions  Lerd, what was I thinking.  They were a rowdy bunch out here in the country.

Sleepovers and play dates.  That's what makes a kid's world go around.  Plus strong parents with an equal devotion to the child as a little person learning who he or she will be.  I wish that I had spent more time talking to my kid about emotions.  Unfortunately I was just figuring it out by the time she was four.

Y'all be merry and bright.  And most of all thankful ^j^

and you're next

Actually, I love everybody and you might be next.  I was out and about today and ran into another Stafford getting a shot.  Mine was pneumo and hers was flu.  She noticed that my tags were still hanging off of my jacket and kindly reminded me to rip 'em off.  Everybody thinks we are related and probably are somewhere down the line. I paid off my pharmacy bill and got some levothyroxine because that's important for my hypothyroidism.  It's time for me to visit my GP and check out what's happening with my overall health.  I love this guy because he talks to you about what's going on and keeps a check on things. There's also a GI appointment on the books to find out about the condition of Poopie, the stoma.  

I finally scored some FRESH frozen purple hull peas so Thanksgiving will be complete.  My friend gave them to me and I gave her one of Athena's suncatchers to remember her son who died this year.  She is facing first "everything" without him which a really rough patch.  He was an only child who died way too young.  She is now raising his son.

I've been wondering why Oscar is trapped on the back porch for the past few days and figured out that he can push the screen door open and then he's stuck.  Note to self:  fasten that latch when you leave girl.   Next week will be warmer so it will be pecan central around here. I'll check it out tomorrow because I have absolutely no where to go, thank you sweet baby jebus.

Peace and love to all y'all ^j^

trending

FedEx delivered my new barn jacket in bright blue today.  I've ordered other things that I like the looks of because I have some money right now.  There was a Kroger order for, among other things, frozen purple hulls for Thanksgiving.  That is a staple on our thanksgiving table.  Back in the day they were hand picked, shelled and frozen from my daddy's patch.  Not so, anymore.  I miss that like, a lot.  I am not the farmer that he was.  I can preserve it and cook it but definitely not keep a garden going all summer.  Too many weeds here in the South.

I would like to have some chickens for fresh eggs but the coyotes would more than likely have them for a late night snack. Plus there is no roosting place for them.  I'm all about big dreams and no action.  Just sittin' here waiting for somebody else to do it for me.  It's just me now and I can't even manage to keep a flower bed alive through multiple droughts.  My kickass raised box is now a place for "the cat" to take a dump.  Better there than inside.  I hate litter boxes! Oscar does his business outside as well.  They are both ready to go poop and pee around seven so I let them out and go back to bed.  They sleep inside trading bed space and food.  I reckon when it gets really cold I'll have to improvise.

Part of my lifestyle now is making amends when I know that I have hurt someone with my actions or words.  Often I have told tales on this blog that, though I never called names, brought hurtful feelings to others. I apologize for that.  I ain't got a mean bone in my body but I do tend to write about my life.  I suppose I'll have to make it fiction from now on.

Be blessed and get that dressing made!

new tricks for an old dog

My friend came by last night and gave me a demonstration on how to use this putty stuff kind of like play dough on my ostomy appliance to help with leaks.  So far so good!  I have been pain free today.  He also gave me a belt and showed me how to hook the whole thing up.  I don't know many folks who can help with that sort of thing so I was glad for the advice.  He and his wife have been fast friends since around the time of that big ass surgery that changed my life.  She had to talk me out of leaving the nursing home AMA when I was having a "moment."  I hated everything about being there and only lasted 7 days in a room with a patient totally on life support.  There was a cranky old lady on the other side of the bathroom that kept locking it.  That was no problem for anybody but me, a new ostomate with a wound vac.  Lerd.

Once again I have left my phone elsewhere so I hope Sugardaddy doesn't try to call.  Maybe he'll leave a voicemail, ya' think?  I didn't realize it until I got almost home but I wasn't about to drive ten miles back to get it.  I rely on messenger in those cases.  I don't need the alarm because I wake up on my own.  Let's just pray that hatchet man doesn't pick me tonight.

I almost hit a deer the other day as she was crossing Lenox Nauvoo road and the guy behind me was right on my tail when I slammed on the brakes. It's a blessed thing his brakes were in good shape as well.  That would have been both a front AND rear hit to my car.  I can just see me and my passenger squished by airbags.  Neither of us weigh very much!

I'm about to get used to the cold but that doesn't mean I have to like it.  Usually after a deep freeze like this we get a warm spurt which is when I'll hit the pecans hot and heavy.  On my way home from town this morning I visited with Mr. Holmes who has staked his claim.  He's the only one with permission and Bubba patrols the area twice daily.

My quirks are forgetfulness and procrastination, among others.  Part of this is the distraction of running hither and yon and carrying everything in a big ass purse.  If the purse dumps, I'm crawling on the floorboard for the valuables.  Lauren and I have decided to have a hard candy Christmas and give all we've got to Reaves.  Five is a magical age for kids to believe in Santa and the magic of the season.  I have the nativity set laid out already for her to arrange.  It has been relocated to where "the cat" won't go wandering and break all the pieces.  Jesus would probably laugh!

Faith. Hope.Love^j^

waking up slowly

After years of having to wake up and rush to work and childcare and school and all the other things that mothers do, I now have the luxury of not jumping out of bed and hitting the pavement until I go to work later in the day.  My morning routine usually features a lot of internet time to catch up on the world and visit my new favorite blogs by John Tuft and Sean Dietrich.  Both of these fellows touch my heart with their stories of miracles.  Very talented....check them out.  

I just talked with my favorite ostomate and he is bringing me some stuff to try and help with the painful stoma.  He has lived with it much longer than me and knows all the tricks.  At three years post op I'm still a novice.  The decision not to re-connect is firm and based on my chances of a better quality of life.  I just can't take two major surgeries six months apart.  

I have a very special prayer request for a single mother and her adorable child.  Times are hard.  Mama's hours have been cut in half and it takes a minute to find a new job.  Both of them are happy and healthy  but they need a miracle.

The farmers are finishing up out here and I'm glad to go dormant for a bit.  All the flowers are dead and the nuts are falling.  That could be Christmas money!  Peace and love to you.  And also gratitude ^j^  

the good samaritan

I started my week off right with a couple of hours at church.  Our SS teacher Allison finished up her series on daily prayer and I now have a new regimen for morning noon and night.  I usually pray daily when I have a quiet moment that's not taken up with phone, emails and messages.  Overlooking the lake at Paradise is the ideal spot.  We watch the little fairies as they move across the water and every time it's magnificent.  It all depends on the wind and the sun.

To my surprise my good buddy, who is a Republican, congratulated us Dems on the Senate.  There were several high fives and hugs from my stealth liberal friends at church.  I know I know...separation of church and state.  To me it's all about true bi-partisanship.  You know like reaching across the aisle and  for the good of the people who elected you, no matter what party.  This business lately has been a shit show and when I see Trump going down in flames I wonder to myself why it took so long.  

I spent a lot of yesterday cooking.  I was craving RoTel dip so there was that plus a nice pork tenderloin for dinner.  With green peas and lots of leftovers.  I have to be in the mood because that involves intense concentration.  At this moment Rosie the cat is knocking around the wise men surrounding the ancient manger.  I see a big problem here with knocked over holy folks.

Y'all be safe and blessed.  And remember who you were meant to be  ^j^

the price of eggs

You just never know what a day is gonna' bring.  It was almost 80 degrees on Wednesday and snow is in the forecast tonight.  I can hear the wind howling and blowing in that cold front but it's cozy here beside the logs with my critters.  I'm trying to stock up on groceries for the holiday season because I do bake cakes for special people and of course I'm responsible for Thanksgiving.  Hell, I may put up my Christmas tree tomorrow just to see the lights.  The Christmas cakes are a tradition for very special people in my life.  I doubt seriously that one of the recipients knew that my lab took a bite out of it while it was cooling.  I'm also making one for the lasagna supper at church.  I remember very well working that gig when Lauren was one of them.  Lots of work by kids and volunteers for a good cause.

Believe it or not it's supposed to snow about an inch tonight. Y'all know how that goes..might or might not.  It should rain first and then change over as the temp drops.  When I lived up on the hill snow was a beautiful sight out of that big bay window.  And treacherous on that road with ice.  Actually Samaria Bend is usually worse because it's a flat surface.  I have slid past the lane on many an occasion.  Once upon a time I dragged Lauren behind the car on a sheet.  I know...stupid as hell but it was fun and she survived.  Just a good memory.

The clock is ticking until Dr Zarr's Amazing Funkmonster returns to the Dyer County Fairgrounds on November 26. Door opens at 7 and show starts at 8.  Tickets are available at City Liquor for $40 in advance or two for $35 each.  And if you know Bubba, he can hook you up.  I'm looking forward to it because it's a tradition with us.  Sibling bonding time, so to speak.  If there are any seats left on that night, it's fifty bucks at the door.

Tuesday my family has an appointment to view our family's honest to goodness homeplace on College Street.  I'm really excited to see what it looks like now and grateful for the opportunity.  I may just take some pictures of us for posterity.

Y'all stay chill and keep the faith ^j^

social work

I have long been attached to that particular health care field because I'm a "people person" with a strong urge to, not fix, but act as an advocate for someone else.  Kind of sorta' a conduit.  I have always held it in my heart that if you have a giving spirit it increases your serotonin!  Not speaking about money exactly but acts of charity by helping others.  Each of us has a life history that is scarred by pain and troubles.  Holding on to those emotions results in all sorts of health problems.  People with mental illness have an even harder time just trying to be normal and function.  Often this leads to substance abuse and anger issues.  Drugs and anger are bad, umkay?  

The other day I was telling somebody the story of way back in the day when some ER doc tried me to draw blood from a dead guy who had been in a cold wet ditch all night.  As we all know, there was no blood to be gotten from his veins so he went to plan B.  "Draw it from his heart!"  I was like WTF????  You're the doctor here.  And I remember the guy's socks on those cold dead feet.  Needless to say, MD got his own sample and I went back to the call room for a nap.

Here's the thing.  Every day we have a chance to do the next right thing like saying thank you for an opened door or appreciating good service.  I was at the Chick today and was amazed at what a well oiled machine they are.  Great customer service and atmosphere.  The lady next to me in the waiting area for carryout was actually picking up her sick daughter's lunch on her OWN lunch break.  There are no limits to what moms will do for their kids.  

So back to social work.  I became interested in the philosophy of hospice care about 30 years ago and it has remained a passion for me.  My heroes during that learning curve were EK Ross, John Bradshaw and Melody Beattie.  Once I accepted my co-dependent nature it changed my life.  I knew when I was trying to "fix" things and saw them as opportunities to lose a piece of who I am.  Did I continue to do it?  Yes indeed.  It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.  

I left my career when the whole place was in total chaos and I had just gone through RTC surgery.  The guy told me that the ends of the cuff were torn and atrophied so much that they could not be reconnected.  Soooo...he scraped off the arthritis and here I am five years later. I am thankful that I didn't have the partial shoulder replacement that would have limited mobility and range of motion.  Or the cadaver patch.  Actually the doc told me he had no experience with that procedure.  

My first year or two of retirement involved having a lot of fun and learning things like yoga.  After that, I had to supplement my SS income with something else, thus my home health career.  I'm not talking through an agency.  Just by word of mouth.  I'm a pretty great companion for somebody who doesn't require a lot of intensive care.  There have been one or two who drove me into the ground.  

As we all age, we should remember how nice it is to have a caregiver who forms a relationship that will never be broken, even with death.  Some day we'll all be up there in heaven bumping spirits ^j^

red trickle

How exciting!  All the media were predicting a wave and the whole thing is a tight razor thin count that remains to be seen.  I am encouraged that Trump is paying for his actions for the past two years.  The GOP is shopping for a 2024 candidate and I imagine the Dems too.  I watched my president on TV today fielding questions from all sorts of media types and I think he did well.  According to exit polls, inflation is the number one concern for everybody.  I second that.

Bubba and I did a joint session this morning with our health insurance guy and we came away satisfied with the offer.  We stood outside the Baird Brewer building and gazed across the street at FUMC discussing the future there.  Who knows.  There are plenty of rich people there but the budget is still not met.  Of course everybody waits until the end of the year to finish it out but that may not be enough to keep the boat floating.  I believe that the current membership can figure out a way to maximize what we have by reducing the space that requires maintenance.  Just a thought planted in my head by a fellow member.

Me and Joy navigated our way to my salsa sister's house to purchase some of her famous suncatchers for gifts.  I am a valued customer so I got a discount. I got hooked on those way back when she brought her wares up into the lab in Freda's office.

Y'all be well and thankful ^j^

election night

Y'all can wake me up when it's over next week.  Today has been a pretty dizzy one for me.  Kind of dauncy as the Little General would say.  I'm talking holding onto door frames.   It was unseasonably warm which will change on a dime this weekend.  The sun sets now around five something.  I noticed on Weather Underground that tomorrow will be two minutes shorter.  It just depends on where you are I guess.  I'm in the low country so I can catch a sunset in a heartbeat if I'm here.  Meanwhile, I saw the partially red moon rising and now she is up in the sky all bright and white.  I can see her face! 

I began blogging as a way to journal my life and feelings.  Writing daily has helped me to process what I have lived as the end nears.  My good buddy Chuck called it "embracing your mortality."   As firm believers in a giving and powerful God, we believe that all are welcome, even if broken.  The only difference in the Lord's prayer is trespass and debtors.  FUMC and Dyersburg Cumberland used to do awesome choir concerts.  My Daddy and I did them together.  He was a tenor and me an alto.  We sang together for many years and poor Mom couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.  At the end, neither of them sang at all.  They died peacefully with family by their side when God called them home.  That's a win in my book.

Let's all meditate toward peace and love ^j^

novemblah

My good buddy Paxito coined that term years ago about the month of November.  Second rainiest month of the year and dark early.  It rained all day today and if I were the suicidal type I would have jumped into the lake and drowned myself.  I was up early for a doctor's appointment and kind of told dude I was taking a break from Prolia.  "Why would you do that?" he asked.  The short answer is that I can't afford the twice yearly co-pay on a 5K drug.  I am 25% at risk of a fracture which is where I was two years ago and 1200 dollars poorer.  I'll just have to be really careful and not fall.  Uh, yeah.  I almost fell this morning crossing from one room to another and, instead, whacked my hand on the door frame catching myself.  Surely it's not broken.  Just a small abrasion.

Tomorrow is election day and already the deniers are lining up to sue.  This is a ridiculous waste of time and money.  It is what is is when the votes are counted.  The GOP still cannot accept that Trump lost two years ago and so there you go.  Leading the way for more obstruction of democracy. I have already voted and trust that my ballot counted no matter who wins.  Of particular interest is the Dyersburg mayor's race.  I can't vote on that because I live in the county but....we shall see.  I can tell you that the streets in Dyersburg are deplorable and there is no new industry coming in.  There are a little band of pioneers trying to populate downtown which would be swell.  Our county mayor was a long shot and he won.  Anything is possible.

As for the Senate and House, I pray that there is no huge flip.  Dr Oz is the physician equivalent of Trump and even Oprah has turned against him.  She is the one who "discovered" him, by the way.  In my mind the main issue is sensible gun reform.  Every single day we read about some idiot with a gun shooting up a mall or a birthday party or other places where innocent civilians are going about their business.  Grocery stores.  Schools.  Churches.  This ain't rocket science people.  NOBODY but law enforcement and military should have repeating weaponry in the style of ARs.  They are weapons of mass destruction.  I was about 50 years old when all the school shootings started and every single one of them could have been avoided.  Because I have a five year old granddaughter, Sandy Hook still chills me to the bone.  How does anyone ever get past that kind of horror?

I suppose that we hope and pray that common sense will prevail over the almighty dollar.  After witnessing live what happened on January 6th my faith has withered on the vine.  It seems that the idiots are in charge of my world and that pisses me off big time.  I don't believe in the death penalty to this day.  And I certainly don't believe in privatizing prisons.  I do believe in a woman's right to choose about her reproductive health, heartbeat or not.  I truly cherish the right of a person to die peacefully without hopeless intervention.  

And I pray, a lot ^j^

hurry up and wait

I know better than to visit the 'gentral on Saturday, but there I went to Four Points which is the junkiest of them all.  All toys were buy one get one 75% off and I got stuck behind a woman who was obviously buying Christmas presents for a hundred kids.  I'm talking FOREVER in line.  Self checkout wasn't working.  I could barely maneuver in there with all the inventory parked in the middle of aisles.  I should have gone to Forrest Street to the shady one.  In spite of their location, they run an easy to access store.  The thing I miss the most is that they don't sell clothes anymore.  I was looking for sweat pants and ended up with some fuzzy pajama ones.  And two toys for Reaves.

I woke up to no internet this morning so I found myself crawling around on the floor with tech support on the line.  We had a big thunderstorm pre-dawn so I figured it was due to lightning.  Both modem and router were dead as a doornail.  Until he suggested I check the outlet.  It's a double one and the only in my bedroom but the lamp that is also plugged in was still on.  I unplugged the lamp, plugged in the computer stuff and immediately got power.  Funny thing is, when I plugged the lamp back into the other one, it worked.  I don't know....just glad not to be without my one form of entertainment for the weekend.  

Today is a big day for UT fans with a powerful opponent in Georgia.  I wish my Daddy was still alive to see this comeback by his precious Vols.  But then again, I guess they have TV in heaven.  Poor thing hung his head in shame the whole time I was at Memphis State but I did end up as a UT Memphis graduate so that made up for it.  

Tomorrow is All Saint's Day at church and hopefully I'll have my girls there with me.  I will never forget my friend Kay coming to sit with me on All Saints Sunday the year that my mother died.  It was tough hearing her name read aloud as a saint but brought me comfort as well.  Lorna and I talked about the afterlife the other day and we both feel that it is a cosmic kind of thing, unlike the pearly gates deal.  That involves judgement which I don't think God is into.  Who knows?  After almost dying twice in one week, I can testify that there is, indeed, a God and He is good.  Jesus definitely took the wheel before I crashed into a ravine on the way to ER.  And a pox on the ER doc who brushed me off as "not having diverticulitis" without even doing a scan.  Normal white count, off you go old lady.  I remember very little of what happened when I went the second time, eat up with sepsis.  And that is a blessing.

I feel oddly separated from the holidays this year.  It's just me and the girls and Bubba and nobody ever has the same schedule.  I've already purchased a couple of things for myself ahead of time...little things like a day planner and wall calendar to start the new year.  The last time we had Thanksgiving dinner together, I cooked at the old house and we ate on a folding table down here in the new one.  I didn't move in until February of the next year but it seemed like the thing to do.  Moving became a necessity when my pipes froze up there on the hill so thank goodness we already had some furniture down here.  Bubba and I went around to all the utility companies and got me signed up shortly after.  

I am tired to the bone and my stamina is very low right now.  Is it age?  Perhaps.  Maybe just soul sickness.  I look for the positives in all situations and try to be humble and grateful and do the next right thing.  It's just a melancholy time of life for a single old gal.  Sleeping a lot doesn't help.  And when I sleep too little?  It's pitiful.

Y'all wear your orange loud and proud today.  Good old Rocky Top ^j^

connected

I am not a newbie when it comes to troubleshooting an internet connection on the phone with a tech.  I don't even call until I have rebooted both modem and router.  A couple of times.  All that crap is down in the floor because the whole thing is in progress.  Got to get that stuff up high!  That will require a power strip or two but, what are you gonna do?  As for me I'm over crawling on the dusty floor without my glasses because I put them down somewhere.  Thanks to Forked Deer Connect, I am back online.  I told the guy it was no big deal and I could hotspot for tonight, but by golly we fixed it.  

How did we get this way?  Totally hooked on electronically communicating instead of in person.  I can tell you honestly that if there is an important issue on the table, I want a face to face rather than an email.  Texting is a handy way to communicate but, like email, you can't read the tone of the person.  That's why I don't text much.  I'd rather talk.  That's why I go through my head and figure out who to check in with.  Sounds crazy, right?

The beans are almost gone but the dust still lingers, thus the AC is on in November.  Well that and higher than average temperatures.  As I watched this year's crop come and go I was kind of reminded of The Grapes of Wrath.  My grandfather was a product of the post depression era when you grew your own and worked for the man.  A sharecropper.  He and Lottie had three girls and one boy who would later take on agriculture as his life's calling.  He fell in love with Mama during their years at DHS on College Street.  He was senior class president.  Her house was right across the street so that's where all the kids hung out.  That very house is for sale again.  I would love to see the inside now, one more time.  I guess I'll have to contact the realtor.  

I have an idea.  Let's all just hug each other long and strong.  I got one this afternoon from a guy I haven't seen in six months.  There is still a faint smell of his cologne on me.  You will never find me wearing anything stronger than amazing grace ^j^

playing to win

Unlike most folks, I never buy lottery tickets.  With Powerball at 1.2 billion today I decided it was time to fork over a few bucks and take my chances.  I was asking the lady who sold it to me how to see if I won and she laughed.  "You'll probably win and you've never played before!"  If only. With my luck, if I won I'd get hit by a bus.  My friend Sue took me to a casino one time and declared me snakebit by the time the night was over.  We sat at the bar for a long time watching Memphis State basketball and flirting with the bartender.  I just don't get the thrill of pouring money into games like that, but I was on her dime so there ya' go.

Speaking of my dear departed friend Timmy D. he gifted me with a dog named Sam one time that was wayyyyy too rowdy for his daughter's apartment in Memphis.  Sammy D was a Jack Russell mix and just a young 'un when Tim and Amy pulled up in my yard with him.  Daddy's dog had just been killed and Sam needed a home so that was the plan.  Only it didn't work.  After one night Mom told me to come get him because it was "like having a stranger in the house."  We never had a house dog when I was growing up.  So Sam lived a long and happy life up on the hill with Butterbean and whatever lab I had at the time.  After Tim left "the company" he was traveling to Jackson for his next job and I would run into him at sixish up at the chicken store .  I had to be at work at 6 and often stopped there for a breakfast sammich'.  I would also run into Pierce White on his way back from the farm to the office.  That was back when Christine was still there and they had a total ass of a boss named James.  I called corporate on him for treating them like that and he eventually went away.  They have a super cool boss now named David.

The dust is flying again with the beans across the road being harvested.  I'm ready for all this to be over.  Bubba told me that Daylight Savings Time is going away following this "fall back."  I always thought it was to help out farmers but he said it was so kids didn't have to catch the school bus in the dark.  Live and learn.  

It's open season on supplement renewal so Bubba and I are comparing notes and chatting with Rick Brubaker at White and Associates.  I definitely pays to shop around and find the best deal.  I don't know who is paying for all those zero premiums but God love them.  Believe it or not, we are moving closer and closer to universal healthcare and you just KNOW that it's my dream.  Always has been.  I'm sick and tired of Big Pharm.  Hell, big anything.  Y'all can thank Bernie Sanders for all of the bounty.

Y'all be safe and brave.  And don't do anything stupid ^j^