Wednesday, May 13, 2015

snowball reality check

My cousin used to refer to the snowball as that giant mass of debt that builds until it rolls right down the hill at you and it's do or die time. Everything we own and or do is based on credit, much of it predatory lending. That a middle class hard working should almost be retired person like me lives that way is a shame. I had a chance. I could have saved when the money was free and easy but the crashes of 80s and 08 pretty much put that out of reach. I was busy raising a child and trying to make a living as a healthcare provider mom, much of that time single. I was the poster child for my church's acquisition of our sawmill. They knew what a miracle I was and all. I've still got a t-shirt somewhere with their web address and that very slogan on front.

Against all odds Daddy is becoming a bit more umm, compliant, shall we say. That includes nighttime protection and me as pill counter. Poor mama still has to run the world and ask me how many pills he's taking and if it's too much. I see a big change since Lori came on board because she can make him mind and he never even knows he's been had. Ms. Faye still does lunch and oooooppppps! We forgot dilly bars on Monday. She's got me lined up for hair and a chest x-ray tomorrow so that should just about round out my week as parental advocate. She's all like "i'm sorry you're wasting your vacation, yadayada" and honestly? I'd much rather do it when I'm not working and trying to manage it all after getting up at 5AM. I've not slept past 7AM a day since I've been off. This bitch is on a mission.

So here's the thing with the economy. I make good decent money by standards set 20 years ago but others don't even make enough to survive on. When the middle class struggles to stay afloat, somebody is spending way too much on food at football games. I say this as I prepare to shove the dead dryer out on my back porch all redneck like and try to figure out how to buy a new one when I'm dead broke. Even in the best of days, I have never lived an extravagant lifestyle. I was raised humbly by one parent who knew what it was like to be rich and another who never dreamed of it.

I love the stream of consciousness thought that comes with an escape from reality. My days this week have been categorized thus far as fun,productive and lazy. Not real sure about today yet, but it's early. Whatever comes, I'm keeping the faith.

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