Tuesday, January 10, 2012

never know 'til you try

After a slow beginning, my resolve for the year 2012 is beginning to take on some steam. The very reason is not quite clear to me because I'm really BAD about putting things off when they seem to be too big for the moment. The plus side to that slow journey is that I've had plenty of time to discover talents and flaws that will guide me through the rest of my earthly life. The faithful side of me believes that what comes after will be better because I took the time to find out who I really am as a person. It never ceases to amaze me how little self reflection some people are willing to do. It's easier just to blame somebody else.

So that is why I am content with my legacy and committed to finding ways to make the world a better place "one life at a time" as Lorna says. A pecan farmer like myself, she's been there/done that just like me and has learned to toughen up when it comes to leaving things better than you found them. Really? It's the only chance we have to give our kids and grandchildren half of what we have enjoyed. Several of my friends are big river people as in "carve your own canoe and teach kids after school". There's not much money in it, but it is a venue for teaching otherwise doomed to failure kids how to explore and do something with their lives. In most rural southern counties, it is a serious problem. Local business has shriveled up to the few lucky establishments who have family money to keep operating off of. Otherwise, it's dead as a doornail. Most of our industries have either drastically downsized (sold out to China) or been sold off multiple times. Or both. The friend who gifted us with Sammy D is one that will forever more be the poster child for how corporate America treats their hard working middle men. He is currently living his dream, watching sports and drinking beer in his own bar. You go boy.

Somebody looked ahead and told me it's gonna get really cold soon but then it's January and we've been blessed so...at least there are the dogs. Right now the boys are scrapping on my bed while Faith lies to my left slowly drifting off. She'll be snoring real soon. Pride is still wandering wherever whenever he desires and hasn't caused a problem yet. It's amazing how much time and energy we have spent over the years to keep him fenced in when all he really wanted to do was his own thing. I have seen that with my parents as they've learned to rely on others for their ADLs, thanking us the whole time for giving back to them for our raising. At times, I am humbled to tears by that.

The sawmill is still running and I'm on a five day before daylight streak. For me, it's easier to just get up the same time every day..except on days off, of course! I realize that the physical demands of cheap tennis shoes on concrete floors won't take long to catch up with me, so I'm exploring some opportunities myself. BG's schedule and mine are in a nice tandem where I have time alone and so does she. Our favorite thing to do together is huddling up in her room with all the dogs and watching comedy. Sometimes beer is involved. Always, we laugh out loud.


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