tears of ??

As I passed on by the lane today to check out the cabin progress, I found myself driving home in tears.  All of a sudden it hit me that what has been three years in the making is about to become a reality.  All change, even the good kind, involves a sense of loss for the usual.  I have lived in this home for 32 years.  I spent a lot of blood sweat and tears cleaning out the attic and basement yet they've never been used in spite of my grand plans.  I raised my only child here along with a lot of her friends.  I have cherished and buried many furbabies in the yard.  There has been a ton of robbing Peter to pay Paul just to afford living here.  We've had parties, prom dinners and bonfires.  Lots of meeting of the minds at the (not) round table.  There have been numerous neighbors down the lane including my brother and his wife, some crazy guy and his bunch and the wonderful ones who live there now.  Even though it was Council Rd for most of the time I've been here, that changed and has caused a lot of umm...confusion since the new road name won't track on GPS.  I went to DES today to get proof of residence and both road names were on the account.  Plus the name Stafford which isn't my legal name because I never changed it back in the courts.  Lerd, what a mess.  

My surprise in the mail today was an EOB stating that I am responsible for 2800 bucks worth of home health care post surgery.  If you have been a reader here for long, you know the saga that is my Marketplace woe.  It's out of my hands.  Stand in line behind all the others I say.  I am retired and I have no assets.

I spent five long years doing what I thought was the right thing by doing Chapter 13 instead of 11.  I still believe that I did, but that doesn't help me out credit wise.  A BK is a BK and credit monitors tell you so.  I am going to a dealership tomorrow to negotiate with them on a more reliable vehicle.  I spent a minute getting all the required documents together and I think I'm good to go.  If it's not the one I got pictures of, maybe they can work with me on something else.  It always helps to have your brother along, which he will be.  

Anywho, I'm still looking for a home for the fabulous Ellie and that makes me sad too.  She's my baby and even though she eats everything in sight, I love her dearly.  I'm steady working to find her a perfect place, preferably where I can drive by and see her. 

I'm hoping it's clear the night of the Christmas star.  That will be way cool.  I'll be seeing those girls soon and can't wait.  Oh...and btw.  The army is back.  Keep the faith ^j^