inner child

I have always been headstrong.  Over the years I have developed boundaries and learned to identify many personality types and act accordingly.  My self confidence has never been higher due to the fact that I'm a grown woman who understands that everyone has an opinion and we are each entitled to that.  To claim that there is one truth is ridiculous in my eyes but every day's business for many.  

That being said, there is a little girl inside me who can still be shamed on certain occasions.  There are triggers, which I usually identify and work through.  But at times, I feel that I am never enough.  When that happens I put myself in time out and cry until I'm past it and can find the grace to embrace ME again.  Fortunately I have a tribe that lifts me up when I least expect it yet need it the most.  

For many years I was everybody's darling at work because I was an overachiever.  The last few years there were literal hell because I was burned out from all that striving for perfection.  I am generally reliable, dependable and do what is expected of me in any particular situation.  But, everybody falls short.  And we are forgiven because of the Cross.  

I used to play the victim pretty regularly rather than owning up to my part .  I'm way past that to the point where I prefer to address the elephant in the room and move on.  If I am wrong I admit it and ask for forgiveness.  What hurts is waiting for that forgiveness until it's freely given.  

I forgive most things easily but there are some things that I will never forget, mostly involving people who put their own self interests above those of others.   I could tell you stories by chapter and verse where I have witnessed this, some including my own family.  But the re-telling of the story does nothing but keep the memory alive of something that was painful.  

Forgive others, but mostly just forgive yourself.  Shame is a soul killer ^j^