Friday, December 21, 2018

own it

In spite of the fact that several options were offered to avoid a government shutdown Trump seems hell bent on having his way as always. He's afraid he'll lose some of that power when the makeup of the house changes which is probably our only hope.  Even his own party is saying that this is not a good move.  I try to stay informed but not dwell on it.

I went down to the cabin today and took a picture but couldn't bring myself to go in and hear the ghosts of Christmas past rattling around.  There has been nothing done in months and it just sits there half finished.  I went to Kroger which was an absolute zoo on the Friday before Christmas, even mid-day.  I had to get the stuff to make Gaga's cheese grits.  Some traditions you just don't let slip away.  

Everybody I know is sick with some sort of upper respiratory epizootie.  I talked to my mother's two remaining best friends, one in Memphis and the other in Austin and they both have it too.  So do Reaves and Lauren.  And I'm not feeling too great myself.  It would help if the freakin' sun came out.  

I am prayerfully considering another job opportunity with an additional client.  Everything is in limbo right now so we shall see.  The need for assistance with the elderly is staggering and it's very difficult to find reliable help and keep them.  The cost to families out of pocket for this type of assistance is astronomical.  I've had some very strange and scary dreams lately, usually when I fall back to sleep after letting the dogs out.  My little psyche must be in overdrive trying to figure out the world.  Which is not gonna' happen.  It is what it is and is in God's hands.  

This year, more than ever I am focusing on the gift.  Not the gifts that I give or receive but the gift of that baby in the manger.  I remember reading the story from Luke to Lauren when she was little and I asked her to do the same with Reaves.  Unless you tell them, they just assume it's all about Santa.  Due to all the illness we may not even get to be together for the holiday.  We shall see. Ain't nothing like a sick kid on Christmas.  

My thoughts have turned to all those who went before me this past year and there are a bunch.  Even though I have worked all my life with death and dying, it is still personal. That ministry was a part of my work that kept me going.  Mama's friends both lamented that there are very few of them left.  

Though I am surrounded by caring friends, I still wonder what it would be like to be loved unconditionally by a life partner.  I've been single for a very long time and it would be an adjustment.  That is why getting a sugardaddy has always been a joke for me.  It would be a win win but they're all either married or gay or set in their ways like me.  

Joy to the world ~














1 comment:

  1. Trust and faith, hope and prayers, and the rooms that await us.

    ReplyDelete