doubtful faith

I made it to church two weeks in a row and sat with my old friend Weezie.  We worked together for many long years in the hospital lab.  She retired early to help her husband take care of his business.  Now he, along with so many others, is gone to glory.  They were a fun couple and we spent a lot of time with them over the years on rafting and canoe trips.  Much younger, we were. I can't imagine anything more fun than rafting the Ocoee.  

Today's sermon was about Joseph and Mary "losing" 12 year old Jesus at the temple.  According to tradition the kids just traveled with the pack and it wasn't until they got back to Nazareth that they found him missing. And you know where he was right?  Still in the temple with the teachers BEING the teacher by asking them questions.  That's a real thing, ya' know.  

A lot of people think that true faith is discipline but our message today was that discipline is the opposite of faith.  If you are truly convinced that you know it all then there is no room for your spirit to grow.  Asking questions, doubting and wondering why are all a part of staying faithful.  We like to believe that if we are obedient to certain laws and mandates that have "made it."  The truth of the matter is it ain't over 'til it's over.  Every day brings with it a kazillion ways to show kindness and ensure justice by doubting and speaking up for what we believe.  

I loosely know the history of the Old Testament but I would fail a test on it quickly.  Most of my bible study has been in the other half because that's where the good news is.  I was probably 40 years old before I actually felt, in my heart, the sacrifice that was made for me.  And you.  He doubted, even as he was dying in agony and that says volumes to me.  

Each of us was born with God given gifts.  To ignore those gifts is to not practice faith in the true sense.  It doesn't matter if it's art, teaching, spirituality or healing.  Being an advocate for social justice is a rough road sometimes but worth the effort.  That doesn't mean that what I say or do is "right".  It's just what I believe to be right.  

I have had nothing good to say about this presidency.  Try as I may, I can't find a thing he's done except polarize us to a tipping point.  Here's hoping that Mueller has his ducks in a row and picks the right time.  Which will be after January 2nd.  

I've started over with The Handmaid's Tale and I'm seeing things I missed before which is always fun.  Laura Jane Hedge is responsible for this binge!  She put the worm in my ear.  I watched her grow up into a courageous strong woman who has fought breast cancer long and hard.  

Yes, I believe.  But I also have plenty of doubt and questions.  So as Mr. Billy Yates would say "Leave room for the spirit to work."   This too shall pass ^j^