auld lang syne

Here we are on the eve of a brand new year.  For some folks it's a time for resolutions.  I don't usually set goals like that because I feel bad when I break them, which I always do.  Last year I was on medical leave during this time recovering from a shoulder surgery that was not very successful.   And that, was the beginning of my retirement from the hospital.  I could not lift and do the repetitive motion involved in the work I had done all my life.  Gay eased me through the rehab with MFR and got me in working order before the money ran out.  

There have been a lot of changes this year, some good, some bad and some to be determined.  I count among one of the greatest blessings that Reaves gained a "bonus mom" who adores her.  It takes a village.  I lost a lot of dear friends and made a lot of new ones as I ventured out into the world and community.  I had my first paid writing gig.  I practiced yoga for the first time and loved it.  And I resolved the three year struggle of going back to FUMC following my parents' deaths.  It's like I never left.  

There have been many lunches with friends and milestones with Reaves and Lauren.  There was fire and rain.  Many days I was in despair over the state of living as a retired person yet I kept going in faith that my path would become clear.  Yesterday's animal totem was a gray striped cat who was cruising the church parking lot.  There's a message there and it is uplifting.  

It rained cats and dogs this morning and I chugged through water in and out of the lane twice in the trusty old Camry with no choking out.  Part of the road is caving in next to the bottom where the ditch was widened.  Gotta' keep an eye out for that dont'cha know.  

I am grateful to be alive and blessed with the life that I have.  Every day brings another opportunity to test patience, belief and compassion.  There is nothing like a brand new ME calendar to make a fresh start.  Only I don't have one yet.  Duh.

Namaste ~

doubtful faith

I made it to church two weeks in a row and sat with my old friend Weezie.  We worked together for many long years in the hospital lab.  She retired early to help her husband take care of his business.  Now he, along with so many others, is gone to glory.  They were a fun couple and we spent a lot of time with them over the years on rafting and canoe trips.  Much younger, we were. I can't imagine anything more fun than rafting the Ocoee.  

Today's sermon was about Joseph and Mary "losing" 12 year old Jesus at the temple.  According to tradition the kids just traveled with the pack and it wasn't until they got back to Nazareth that they found him missing. And you know where he was right?  Still in the temple with the teachers BEING the teacher by asking them questions.  That's a real thing, ya' know.  

A lot of people think that true faith is discipline but our message today was that discipline is the opposite of faith.  If you are truly convinced that you know it all then there is no room for your spirit to grow.  Asking questions, doubting and wondering why are all a part of staying faithful.  We like to believe that if we are obedient to certain laws and mandates that have "made it."  The truth of the matter is it ain't over 'til it's over.  Every day brings with it a kazillion ways to show kindness and ensure justice by doubting and speaking up for what we believe.  

I loosely know the history of the Old Testament but I would fail a test on it quickly.  Most of my bible study has been in the other half because that's where the good news is.  I was probably 40 years old before I actually felt, in my heart, the sacrifice that was made for me.  And you.  He doubted, even as he was dying in agony and that says volumes to me.  

Each of us was born with God given gifts.  To ignore those gifts is to not practice faith in the true sense.  It doesn't matter if it's art, teaching, spirituality or healing.  Being an advocate for social justice is a rough road sometimes but worth the effort.  That doesn't mean that what I say or do is "right".  It's just what I believe to be right.  

I have had nothing good to say about this presidency.  Try as I may, I can't find a thing he's done except polarize us to a tipping point.  Here's hoping that Mueller has his ducks in a row and picks the right time.  Which will be after January 2nd.  

I've started over with The Handmaid's Tale and I'm seeing things I missed before which is always fun.  Laura Jane Hedge is responsible for this binge!  She put the worm in my ear.  I watched her grow up into a courageous strong woman who has fought breast cancer long and hard.  

Yes, I believe.  But I also have plenty of doubt and questions.  So as Mr. Billy Yates would say "Leave room for the spirit to work."   This too shall pass ^j^

as the world turns

My paternal grandmother Lottie was a religious viewer of "her stories."  That's the only one I remember from back in the day.  Heck, it may still be on.  The only one I ever watched was Days of our Lives, all the way back to when the grandparents on that show were alive.  Sometimes when I'm at Lauren's that is on and I don't know who anybody is anymore except for Hope.  I remember the twins back in the day, one evil and one good.  And of course Victor and Bo.  

Fast forward to now where I watch nothing but Netflix and Hulu and get my news online.  FB has me pegged as a liberal so my feed contains a lot of pieces that are critical of Trump.  This doesn't sway my feelings a bit.  As I said before, critical thinking is a must.  On the flip side just imagine what the FB conservative feed looks like!  I don't even want to know.

This is what I know, or believe.  The government shutdown is a power play that is hurting millions of Americans. This is not Nancy Pelosi's fault.  She is not POTUS and did not make the decision.  She also did not cave, nor did Schumer, to the demands of an out of control president on a mission.  Listen closely to those outgoing Congressional seats.  They are speaking their truths to us as they exit the mess.  They have been in the trenches with this presidency and it hasn't been pretty.  There are plenty of Republicans speaking their minds now that they aren't beholden to the party.  None of this has to do with Hillary or Obama or Dubya et al.  That is history and this is now and it looks scary to me.  I do have faith that there is some bright spot in our future but it takes daily prayer to keep that in focus.  

I saw one of my clients today and we watched dogs on TV and discovered that we have animal love in common.  She wants me to bring Sam, the only calm one, to see her and lay by her feet.  Gotta get him a collar first so I can use the leash.  Ellie's collar came off when I gave her the first bath here and it smelled like skunk, still.  Thank God I'm a country girl.

Peace, be still ~

world weary

One of the things that I am acutely aware of with the elderly is that their perception of the world changes so dramatically. Little things that most of us ignore become paramount to them as their scope changes from the outside to being confined.  My parents had me and my brother running 24/7 the last five years they were alive.  I remember it well....things like Mama telling Ms Faye how to do what she was being paid to do.  Same thing every day and Mom eventually treated her like a servant.  She bit her tongue and did her job because she was so fond of Daddy and he was appreciative of the wonderful lunches she cooked.  That was the highlight of his day, home cooking. 

It's what happens when you get old and not long for this world.  Being around the elderly again has given me serious thought about how close I am to being there and wondering how I will be.  Hopefully by the time I become a total nuisance, I'll pass on over gently.  Being a caregiver takes a lot of patience and I lost mine many a time with my own parents.  Then I would feel guilty.  Mama was mad at the end and took it out on me because I was safe.  I'm glad we did what we did but thankful it's in the rear view.  I'm just now recovering from all that stress added to the job and my personal life.  That's why I'm just fine with solitude.  My prayer is that I don't lose my vision like so many do.  I would be a miserable blind person.

One of our local industries shut its' doors last week only to re-open.  I'm not sure what happened but yay for those 200 some odd folks who still have their jobs.  I just killed a mosquito so I assume the first round of freezing temps didn't kill them or they've hatched again.  After a day long rain there was a beautiful sunset that cast a pink glow over everything.  I tried to capture it but a phone cam wasn't adequate.  That's okay...I enjoyed it.  I haven't checked the news in a few hours so I don't know who's hating on whom at this point.  There are number or prospects for the Democratic presidential nomination and only one for the GOP.  If I were a member of that party I would suggest starting a head hunt for somebody that outclasses the Donald.  Shouldn't be hard.  

It makes me sad, indeed, that we are going through all of this.  John McCain stated the Iraq war was "a mistake" which I thought from the get go.  It is important to identify which wars are vital to national security and which ones are a power play.  I respect the people who have served since that war started but I don't think they were treated right.  Even moreso now that they're out.  I also thought we should not go into Syria like we did.  Not that I think ISIS is defeated like Trump, but because it was another conflict that was none of our business. Getting in the middle of civil wars that will never be won leaves our country at risk with homeland security  See,  I'm not a total Obama slave.  It's called critical thinking.  

Y'all be happy and seize the moment as if it were your last ^j^

the lost day

Like everybody else, I'm confused on the day because of the holidays.  All day long during the septic tank adventure I thought it was Tuesday.  I tried to set my alarm last night for Wednesday and it kept setting for a week ahead.  Hmm.  What's up with that.  I woke up in time for core exercise and that is when it hit me that I had missed it...on Wed.  And this is Thursday.  Alrighty then.  Bless my little air headed heart.  

I stopped at the store after visiting with a prospective client and halfway home thought I didn't have my purse.  Nowhere in the seat or floorboard.  I had wallet and phone so I turned around and headed back to see if I left the purse there.  No purse.  As I getting back in the car I noticed it hanging on my shoulder.  Bless my heart again!   It's pouring rain with water standing on the lane.  Winds are blustery.  Cold front coming I do believe.  

The dogs are restless because it's rainy and they can't play outside so Ellie is destroying old Christmas ornaments.  Better that than my shoes.  I suppose we're still in shutdown and it's all the Democrats' fault.  Alrighty then.  No comment.

What floors me is the number of people who think that this wall will solve the problem and who believed him when he said Mexico would pay for it. And continue to believe every lie he tells.  Okay, that WAS a comment.  To each his own until my civil liberties are tampered with and then all hell will break loose.  I have not worked and paid taxes all these years to be faced with a crumbling infrastructure and a broken down government.  Fix it dammit and quit arguing!  We're counting on some clear headed decision making.  When your own political party thinks you're overboard, that's a pretty good sign to get off your high horse and tweetstorm.

I'm still exploring options and right now my life consists of being in limbo and trying out new clients.  You have to go with the flow on that because they go in and out of the hospital and rehab facilities so much when they're elderly.  Once client #1 is released next week I will have a clearer picture of what my schedule is.  We shall see.

The plumbing is working like a charm with not a gurgle audible.  Thanks to Bubba, Greg's crew and ProMo and wifey.  Y'all made a bad situation a lot better quickly and beat the worst of the rain.  

And so, today is Thursday right?  Keep the faith ^j^

holly jolly

I was snoozing away when the phone rang this morning but I could tell it was early so I rolled over.  Shortly after that the dogs went wild and I met the plumbers who did a whole bunch of digging and unclogging only to discover that the septic tank is full.  So full, in fact, that it was clogged between the tank and the house.  They left it with the top off to be sucked out.  Man I would hate that job.  I can use the water just no clothes washing. Fortunately I was pretty caught up.  And this...is a very good time to NOT be a homeowner.  

While they were working I was rolling change.  When I thought about how many hands that stuff had been through well, I just tried not to think about it.  Or about what's in that septic tank!  I checked with Google to see if SS payments will be affected by the shutdown and supposedly they will not. Who knows about SNAP because as of next week 95% of their staff will be furloughed.  A lot of people depend on that to eat and most are not workers of the system.  Because of low wage jobs and the sky rocketing cost of living, they need it to get by.  Supposedly payments will be made in January but no promise after that.  Because of course we must have that beautiful steel slat wall to keep the kids from coming here to die.  Two of them now. 

I so enjoyed looking at everybody's Christmas pictures and I keep revisiting the ones of Reaves.  I had to go to the 'gentral this morning and the poor checker dumped two carts full of 70% off stuff pulling them outside.  "Bless your heart" I said as I went in.  He reply was "Just another day at Dollar General." As this company expands and opens more new stores, the older ones are going into a very sad state.  The one at Four Points usually has things packed to the ceiling and along the aisles.  The checkers have no time to stock because there's only one.  This is also why they get robbed a lot.   Looks like corporate would take care of that to ensure their bottom line.  Ahem.  

So Trump is really mad and said it's a disgrace that we're in this mess.  I won't even go there because it doesn't deserve a response.  HE did this.  Not the Democrats or anybody else.  His stubborn persistence on having his way has put the entire country into a tailspin.  This is the third time this year it has happened.  That's bound to be a record but I wouldn't swear to it.  

Here's to a new year full of peace and prosperity ^j^

 

 

a very reaves christmas

Christmas with a toddler is amazing to them and to everyone around.  I hit the road early in the dim light and traffic was exceptionally light.  By the time I got to Jackson thinking I had missed it all, I found that Lauren had to actually wake Reaves up for Santa.  She was sitting there in her diaper under the tree and they were ready to open presents.  Of course she didn't get that so we did it for her but boy could she play when we got the stuff out.  Her favorite was a walking unicorn that Santa brought on a leash!  Seriously cute.  We ate and we played and then she went on to round 2 at her Daddy's house.  To say that child is adored is an understatement.  As I was pulling out I got a kiss from Galen who was going to hang with friends.  

I kept hearing rattling toward the rear of the car and thought to myself lord have mercy what now.  When I got back to the 'burg I found the culprit.  There was a stick hanging out behind the tire ( probably pecan ) that had been hitting the pavement the whole way there and back.  Der.  I passed Bubba on the main road and he was just out enjoying the pretty day.  I have plumbing problems and he's got it on his calendar to call Greg tomorrow morning.  

I have leftover cheese grits and cinnamon rolls so that will be dinner.  What?  It's Christmas ^j^

feliz navidad

This old gal stayed up late and slept late.  I managed to find a beautiful colorized HD version of It's a Wonderful Life on YouTube and I ate up every second of it.  In spite of the number of times I've seen it, there was stuff I didn't remember.  It was just the nostalgia that I needed.  I had to go out for dog food etc and watched an old lady swipe some Altoids right in front of the cashier.  Hey it's Christmas, and he let it slide.  

Earlier when I stopped for some caffeine at the chicken store a beautiful young lady accidentally got in front of me in line and apologized over and over.  I told her no problem....It's Christmas!  When Ashley rang her up, the young lady told her to put my drink on her.  What sweethearts, both of them. 

Sooooo poor Trump is all alone in the White House and I hope the ghosts haunt him all night and day because it is of his own making.  I seriously doubt he has an angel like Clarence. 

I had a craving for tacos so I stopped by El Patio and waited for a to go order.  The cashier was wearing an elf shirt for the occasion and there were lots of folks coming in and going out with presents.  What a happy atmosphere for Christmas Eve.

I will be going down early like a good girl because I have an early wake up call to go see the girls in the morning.  Now that the days are one nanosecond longer, it's still dark by 4:30 but at least we're on the high road to longer daylight.  

To all of you who read, send good wishes and support me and mine, Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, whatever you prefer.  Diversity is what's up.  

Noel ~

away in a manger

My cousin Millette makes Martha Stewart look like a slob, seriously.   Everything she creates is with grace and beauty including our annual family Christmas gathering this afternoon.  There were a ton of cousins running around and a houseful of relatives and friends.  Reaves was shy at first until Cooper started playing a game of run up and down the couch.  When Olivia got there they bonded almost instantly.   Livvie is 3 and Reaves is 15 months.  She ate nothing but chocolate so we got her a crispito from the chicken store for the ride home.  

Church was festive and joyous this morning.  I sat with my usuals Delores and Hu.  The kids all gathered for small talk in a tiny stable down front and were wired for the season.  I brought home the poinsettia that I bought in memory of Mama and Daddy and I will attempt to keep it alive.  Any tips would be appreciated.  

Reaves' daddy and bonus mom got engaged which just tickles me to death.  Kim is crazy about dat baby and appreciates Lauren as a friend.  That goes a long way toward a stable loving co-parenting situation.  

Families everywhere are gathering and celebrating the holidays.  I remember Daddy saying that the loneliest time of his life was when he was in the Air Force on Christmas and away from family.  Being apart during the holidays whether through death or distance is just part of life but it's tough.  Everybody gets nostalgic, especially when there aren't many left.

I talked to Tommy two days in a row while he was driving so we're pretty much caught up.  Mamye came by today with gifts for me and the girls and we visited for awhile talking about every little thing.  As for me, I'm just the receiver this year because well, you know.  Times are hard.  I sent Christmas breakfast back with Lauren so it should be ready when I get there.  

O come all ye faithful ~

spirit of the season

My brother LOVES deviled eggs so that's what he got for Christmas.  I delivered them this morning to his #2 job where they can be in the 'frig until he leaves tonight.  I picked up my homemade cinnamon roll order from Dakota and then swung by to give Larry's cat her insulin.  She's been in jail at the vet's office while his floors were being done.  

I had just gotten home when Lorna called and I headed back to town to meet up with she and the kids.  They were tickled to see me and shared their delicious sugar cookies with me.  "The secret ingredient is love" said Gracie.  Indeed.  

The sun is finally out and that makes everything better.  I'm wondering if Congress gets OT for working on Christmas weekend to try to fund the wall, or not.  If so, surely they will have to wait for that additional pay while all the other workers do.  So many folks are in government jobs where they are forced to work without pay thanks to this tomfoolery.  It's either that, or lose the job forever.  The only bright spot in all this is John Roberts.  God bless him.  Melania went on down to Florida without her hub who will join her if and when things get worked out. 

I saw my brother talking to a guy with a yellow lab etc in the back of his truck at the gas pump.  He looked familiar...hmm.  As I got closer I recognized one of my classmates from DHS 1973 whom I have not seen in many many years.  No luck with the duck hunting today, he said.

Yesterday I set out some cookie dough to come to room temp.  Later when I got to looking for it there was none.  Guess who ate the whole thing, wax paper and all.  Oh yeah.  Things have to go up real high to be safe from Ellie.  

Y'all enjoy no matter where you are or who you're with.  That's what it's all about.  ^j^

own it

In spite of the fact that several options were offered to avoid a government shutdown Trump seems hell bent on having his way as always. He's afraid he'll lose some of that power when the makeup of the house changes which is probably our only hope.  Even his own party is saying that this is not a good move.  I try to stay informed but not dwell on it.

I went down to the cabin today and took a picture but couldn't bring myself to go in and hear the ghosts of Christmas past rattling around.  There has been nothing done in months and it just sits there half finished.  I went to Kroger which was an absolute zoo on the Friday before Christmas, even mid-day.  I had to get the stuff to make Gaga's cheese grits.  Some traditions you just don't let slip away.  

Everybody I know is sick with some sort of upper respiratory epizootie.  I talked to my mother's two remaining best friends, one in Memphis and the other in Austin and they both have it too.  So do Reaves and Lauren.  And I'm not feeling too great myself.  It would help if the freakin' sun came out.  

I am prayerfully considering another job opportunity with an additional client.  Everything is in limbo right now so we shall see.  The need for assistance with the elderly is staggering and it's very difficult to find reliable help and keep them.  The cost to families out of pocket for this type of assistance is astronomical.  I've had some very strange and scary dreams lately, usually when I fall back to sleep after letting the dogs out.  My little psyche must be in overdrive trying to figure out the world.  Which is not gonna' happen.  It is what it is and is in God's hands.  

This year, more than ever I am focusing on the gift.  Not the gifts that I give or receive but the gift of that baby in the manger.  I remember reading the story from Luke to Lauren when she was little and I asked her to do the same with Reaves.  Unless you tell them, they just assume it's all about Santa.  Due to all the illness we may not even get to be together for the holiday.  We shall see. Ain't nothing like a sick kid on Christmas.  

My thoughts have turned to all those who went before me this past year and there are a bunch.  Even though I have worked all my life with death and dying, it is still personal. That ministry was a part of my work that kept me going.  Mama's friends both lamented that there are very few of them left.  

Though I am surrounded by caring friends, I still wonder what it would be like to be loved unconditionally by a life partner.  I've been single for a very long time and it would be an adjustment.  That is why getting a sugardaddy has always been a joke for me.  It would be a win win but they're all either married or gay or set in their ways like me.  

Joy to the world ~

and the rich get richer

The POTUS is pitching a fit because his 5B dollar wall was not included in a recent bill.  He has threatened a government shutdown to get his way before the House goes under Democratic control.  This would mean that the Secret Service agents assigned to him would be working UNPAID to protect him while he enjoys the holidays at Mar a Largo.  What.A.Crock.  Same thing for those Sears execs who grabbed their bonuses and ran leaving loyal employees to fend for themselves prior to BK liquidation of the company's assets.  This is greed and corruption at the highest level.  The markets are bottoming out because of an extremely unsteady global financial situation and the White House is doing nothing but making things worse.  Sad state of the Union, indeed except for the 1%.

I got a 2.8% cost of living raise in SS which is more than I ever got at work based on merit.  What's wrong with that picture?  My company never gave cost of living raises and you had to walk on water to get 3% based on performance.  The facility average had to be such and so and one year I got 1/2% with a very good evaluation.  That's for profit healthcare for you.  There was no incentive financially to be a front line star.  I retired making less than most LPNs currently earn.  This is why I got out when I did and also because of the limitations on my physical abilities due to two bad shoulders.  I am cash strapped but that stress from work no longer exists.  It was slowly but surely killing me.

This is not a rant, just a reflection of reality for many people these days and I know I'm not alone.  In fact, I am more fortunate than a lot of others.  My health is good except for the usual aches and pains of osteoarthritis.  My cardiac risk is the lowest it has been in years.  This sounds like a poor me post but it's not really.  I'm just trying to keep the faith ^j^  

Manifest ~

 

a lesson learned the hard way

I have spent four hours on hold with the IRS during the past couple of days.  Had I not dragged ass around and let this paltry amount go to collections it would not have been nearly so hard so that's on me.  I did finally get the arrangement done today.  Both agents that served me were patient and helpful.  One more thing off the list.  Being on hold that long gave me a chance to catch up with my hospital peeps and gossip a little.  

I've glimpsed at the news and seems that things are looking darker and darker for those in the White House.  I find no joy in this whatsoever.  I do not feel smug.  I feel very sad that we as a country are going through this chaos.  Like my friend Trish said today..."live each day to the fullest.  you never know what's coming."  And indeed we do not.

I made some cookies last night from the refrigerated dough and they just didn't taste right.  Not at all like my mama's.  Maybe they were too thick?  Who knows.  Maybe it's just because she didn't make them.  

I stopped by the live nativity scene at a local church and visited with the critters.  There was a camel, a few goats, a bull and a cute little black and white calf.  Plus assorted others like a miniature horse.  It is a tradition at the Cumberland Presbyterian church and one that I've always been "too busy" to stop and visit.  Tis the season.

Humility ~

following instinct

I've been soul searching and looking for alternatives to cut the cost of living here.  I'll spare the details but I was approached by an old friend about becoming a roommate.  At first I thought it was the answer to my prayers but the more I thought about it the more my gut said "no" based on past experience and my current state of mind. That's not something I need....I have enough on my plate already.  Sometimes when you ask for something it comes out sideways.  That is the case with this, I believe.  Discernment is imperative. 

I delivered cake # last this morning.  My friend wasn't there so I left it with his staff.  That was evidently the wrong thing to do but I meant well.  Maybe they'll save him some.  

An old friend died which we all knew was coming.  Still, it hurts a bit like always. I know that he's in a better place because he's been suffering for a mighty long time.  RIP Wayne. 

Lauren said that both she and Reaves have strep.  Lord have mercy, that's the second time in two months.   Looks like somebody could come up with a vaccine for that, ya know?  It's hard to get rid of and very contagious.  

I'm still pondering life and which way mine will go.  The isolation that I cherish so much is often an escape from social interaction as in "becoming a hermit."  It is what I know and it's easy except for the money part.  I've lived alone for a very long time and have grown to love it.  This afternoon will be dedicated to job hunting, again.  Something's gotta' give.

Peace and grace ^j^

when it rains it pours

I started out on a simple mission to get a pound of butter for the last cake.  And then, according to Murphy's law, everything changed in a heartbeat.  I stopped at Mickey D's for a McMuffin and pulled over to wolf that down.  When I tried to start the car, nothing but clicking.  I raised the hood, scoped out the battery and thought maybe it was the corrosion on the one wonky terminal.  So I went inside, bought a coke and proceeded to pour it over.  No help.  My brother boosted me off and I headed to the place where I bought the battery to have it checked.  It was dead and six months out of warranty.  Alrighty then.  That was 150 bucks I didn't have.  Adding insult to injury, one of the terminals AND the wire need to be replaced.  Estimate on that was 45 bucks at Lake Road Amoco.  

I have noticed that the driver's side window doesn't go up and down properly so I went to the glass place that took care of the passenger side.  He rolled it all the way down and it took both of us to get it back up.  Needs a new regulator.  I'm currently searching for one at scrap yards because a new one is way over a hundred.  While I'm at it I'm also looking for a passenger side door handle which has been broken off forever and requires a tricky move to get somebody in and out.  Fortunately I rarely have passengers.

My mind is spinning trying to figure out what the priorities are and how I can afford them. Everybody I talked with was polite and helpful thank goodness.  Well, except for one.  A sweet lady at McDonald's offered me a boost but I told her my brother was on the way.  People try to be good, seriously.  I'm thinking Mercury must be in retrograde.  It's been that kind of day.  As I was leaving the service station I side swiped their bright yellow pole and now have a glowing streak down the side.  Lerd.  

I know I need another car desperately.  I also know that the way I'm struggling right now it's looking impossible.  As I know from experience, miracles do happen.  I'm thinking that God has something in store for me that isn't quite ready to happen yet and when I find myself beating my head against the wall I have to let it go.  It's not in my hands.  One foot in front of the other and do the next right thing.  

I am grateful that ATT extended my payment arrangement so I don't get hammered so bad at the bank.  I am grateful that the car runs to get me where I need to go.  And I am thankful for a warm house and my loving healthy family.  I reckon the rest is just small stuff.  

Keeping the faith ^j^

rabbits coons and dogs

I was getting ready to turn in last night when Ellie went ape shit over something outside.  I looked from the door and could hear yelling and and a dog and could see a light moving around across the field.  I don't normally get scared out here, but this freaked me out enough to call the law.  They got dispatched to some other place but did show up and were very polite.  They searched with spotlights across the road and found nothing.  It wasn't until today that I found out it was a coon hunter with a 22.  The neighbor said it sounded like a pistol with three shots in succession. Lerd, I was expecting a dead body.

Then this morning Bubba called to tell me to keep my dogs inside so as not to interrupt the rabbit hunting. They were all going ballistic to get outside but I managed to keep them in til they were gone.  As I was going to town I stopped and chatted with his crew and their FIFTEEN beagles.  All I could see was little noses sticking out of the kennel.  They were having a tailgate lunch of bologna and ham sammiches.  

I made another cake yesterday to sell and it was the most perfect one yet.  Until, Ellie took a big bite out of it while I wasn't looking.  I just cut the dog part out and gave it to the customer on the house.  Never waste a cake.  I've got supplies for one more and this one will be watched over like a newborn baby until it's delivered tomorrow.  This is why we can't have nice things.  

Y'all be merry and bright.  ^j^

a christmas story

Most of my holidays resemble those in the movie.  I've never been out for Chinese Christmas dinner but the rest is pretty spot on right down to the dog clearing off the table.  "You'll shoot your eye out" indeed.  On several occasions I've asked for a chainsaw and was summarily told that I am not safe to operate one.  Alrighty then.  I would probably cut my leg off.  

I made up a couple of batches of my mother's butter cookie dough last night and got really nostalgic.  She used to make them by the dozens to send to our classes at school and the Santa faces were intricately painted with different colored glazes.  She was the ultimate room mother.  She also made them on Valentine's day in heart shapes and that was a very cool present when Daddy would deliver on the gator.

I went downtown briefly to see what was going on and things were still slow due to the rain.  The rest of the day should be dry and perfect for holiday shopping at the many participating businesses.  If you have the money, of course...lol.

The extent of my shopping was for Reaves and it's all wrapped and under her tree.  I'm still on a furlough from my part time job so things are kind of tight even by my standards.  I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop with income tax because it's gonna' be complicated this year.  I may end up owing even more.  

They're dropping like flies under Trump's rule and I'm just sitting back to watch it all unfold.  History in the making, once again.  I'm just ready for it to be over, whatever it will be.  This constant change of cast and policy is bad on the nerves.  

Keep the faith ~

karma made me do it

That's the shirt that Gay wore today as we tore into the closets and drawers and filled up at least ten bags of clothes, etc.  It's really cool watching her say goodbye to so much of her past and reliving it along the way.  It's the only healthy way to properly purge, right Lorna?  I delivered cake #2 this morning before we went at it.  Also, I overslept.  And that's okay.  Huck follows us from room to room and finds a little spot to snuggle into.  

It's rainy and dreary, the kind of day that just blends into night.  I've been so busy I've neglected chores around here so I need to get back on track with that.  Every time I make a cake I end up with a sink full of chocolate covered mess to clean up.  Mamye brought me an Old South salty caramel Christmas present yesterday.  I had forgotten how good that stuff is.  

And so, we move along slowly to compromise.  I see very alarmed Republicans getting a little less conservative as they realize the ship is about to shift courses.  Compromise and term limits are all that is necessary to correct this country's wrongs.  

It sounds so simple.  

^j^

three way

In spite of the rain, Grammaw soldiered on to Jackson this morning after delivery of cake #1 and a hug from Stella.  I was met as I hauled in presents by the princess of joy herself, Reaves.  Wearing a red onesie with a fancy tutu that read "Tis the season to sparkle" she had me from the get go.  She is fascinated with chairs now and climbing.  She loved the new Minnie Mouse one and Lauren hung Uncle Jim's wooden Santa on her front door.  It was the first time I have been there since Sam's death and we avoided that conversation.  Happy stuff!!  I got to watch The View and Jeopardy but had to run when WBBJ came on.  It was nap time for them and I was dodging rain showers.  We said our goodbyes in the kitchen with a group hug and kisses and I remembered that her Dad and I used to do that with her.  We called it a 3 way.

Whoopi and them girls raised hell on some Republican nonsense today. I just wish they wouldn't talk all at the same time.  All of these women are intelligent and well aware of the political state of our country.  Are they biased?  Of course.  So don't watch it if you no likey. 

I am loving the massive sweep by states to finally embrace the concept that THC is a very valuable healthcare tool and certainly not a reason to go to jail.  Schedule 1 my ass.  Fentanyl and heroin are the biggest threats for overdose right now.  That must be addressed and I don't think a 5 billion dollar wall will fix it.  But hey, anything is possible.

Mike Pence is the butt of everybody's jokes because of his elf on the shelf performance at the "very big" meeting.  To me personally, he just looks like he wants it to all be over.  Like the rest of us.  

Anticipation ~

queens

I went to yoga this morning and, as usual, enjoyed the practice with Natlie and our little tribe.  I was going to stay for core but decided to go work with Gay for a bit.  My cousin Sandy was there too and we kicked some butt, including hauling off everything that was blocking the front door.  As a bonus we did a carpool karaoke with Queen as we cruised to return the truck.  My circle grew by one today in the shape of a new friend through that little adventure.  

While we sorted and cleaned we talked "black magic" which is pretty much gossiping.  Nothing surprises me anymore.  It's as if "expect nothing" and wait for it to unfold is the name of the game.  I picked some holly today to go on the cakes that may or may not be made.  I'm planning a trip to see the girls if the weather doesn't get all wonky.  My poor little Camry struggles on a good weather day.  If I had one wish it would be a nice reliable car, after world peace of course.  

Y'all don't be naughty and if you are, don't get caught.  You know who is watching ^j^

christmas cake

I broke down and went to Kroger today to get the stuff to make multiple triple chocolate bundt cakes for friends and deviled eggs for Bubba.  I ran into him while I was shopping and we caught up on life as in who died and whatnot.  I'll be spending Christmas eve with the girls, weather permitting.  Lauren posted pictures of Reaves with Santa and she did NOT care for him at all.  She won't know still what it's all about this year except for new!toys!  I haven't wrapped anything in so long I actually had to buy a roll of paper.

I was told that no propane would come until today.  Like a true holiday miracle, Butch pulled up after dark with a load.  I was prepared to hole up with the electric heater that Mamye brought me.  Those things eat electricity like nobody's business but in a pinch, they're wonderful.  Thanks to both of y'all for not letting me freeze.  It was a three dog night anyway, as usual.  Ellie is finally learning to stay on her side of the bed.  

I was at the shady 'gentral on the way home and noticed this woman all flighty and running around.  She asked the guy at the register if they had any fall stuff on sale.  Then she went back to browsing and left in a hurry, buying nothing.  She smiled and called me Sweetie when she passed.  Dude at the register said that she was a shoplifter because he can see it all on camera.  He said it was "little" stuff and not worth calling the cops because she was history.  If the police came every time somebody stole something at a dollar store that would be their full time job.  That's on corporate.  If I were them I would pay for a guard.  

I learned that I'm being given another reasonably priced package for fitness which makes me smile because Lord knows I need it.  I can tell that I've overdone lately with my shoulders so it's been nice to rest them and eat ibuprofen.  It really works!  Throw a naproxen in there and you've got better pain relief than a hydro with no risk of opiate addiction.  Of course CBD oil and arnica would do the same thing.  Right kids?

These asshats up north have crossed the line with their hamstring tactics toward the incoming elected officials.  There's a special place in hell for that kind of mean crap.  They'll have plenty of company I'm sure.  I may be a lot of things, but I don't have a mean bone in my body.

So, it's all unicorns and rainbows here on the lane.  The sun is out and it's warmer(er).  I'm about to arrange the kitchen for full on preparation.  Hide and watch.

^j^

therapy

I was out and about today and had to pick up something I left at Kay's office so I got a chance to bond with Stella, the official therapy dog at Curry Funeral.  She has  made herself at home with the staff there and interacts easily.  This was our second meeting and she lets me pick her up and snuggle.  That's good for the soul.  

I woke up to a coolish house this morning and bumped the heat up only it was blowing cool air.  Dammit...out of propane again.  I ran through that last 300 bucks worth in a month.  It's always my fault because I don't run out there every day to check the contents.  Waiting on Butch for a miracle!  I imagine he's busier than a one armed paper hanger.  Not only does he deliver but he hauls to his business.  That's a lot of work.  

I visited my friend today in rehab and she's doing well with a couple of weeks to go before discharge.  She got her hair did by her personal stylist and looks like a million.  Next on the list is getting her nails done.

I scared the crap out of one of my ex-coworkers at the chicken store today.  After all this time she told me that she reads Pecan Lane.  Imagine that.   

Layer and bundle up!

the thaw

We ended up with what we call in the south an "icy mess."  The trees were all coated with glass and fortunately I didn't lose power.  As for those other folks, God bless 'em.  They've got a bunch of snow to deal with PLUS the ice.  My brother is doing weather in Charlottesville VA this weekend so he should be knee deep in it.  We talked yesterday ( while he was driving, of course ) about how much the gray of winter depresses us now.  

We need our Vitamin D people!  If I could blame it you know who, I would.  

Cold weather equals bored dogs and they have been following me every step of the way since I got up.  I finally got them to go out and Ellie did a cartoon like slide on the icy back porch.  She does nothing slowly.  Girl almost fell off sideways into the flower bed.  I can hear the drip drip of melting now and the sheet on the Camry is about ready to slide.  

Okay.  Not really a political rant but a red flag.  The US demanded that Canada detain what's her name.  This puts both countries into "strained" relations with China but Canada is being used by the US to play a game.  They are required by law to do what they did.  I believe, with all of my liberal snowflake heart that this is the biggie diversion prior to the Mueller bomb.  It is dangerous to play those kinds of games with the global powers.  Put down the damn tweet machine and tend to business.  This is not a drill.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. ^j^

oh the weather outside is frightful

If I had a fire, I'm sure it would be delightful but no.  I woke up to a wintry mix and decided that I needed to go to the 'gentral to get some food because I had NOTHING.  While there I stopped in the quilt store next door and met a lovely lady who learned from her grandmother 40 years ago.  I consulted with her about how to proceed with my old quilt/window project and she's going to cut the pieces for me cheap.  She teaches classes also and rents out her long arm machine to the public.  Most of her business is doing the actual batting and backing on quilt tops that clients have brought to her.  Learn something new every day.  

Yaya called as I was going into the dolla' store so I stood in the corner by the refrigerators and we gossiped up a storm.  She was putting up her tree and thought of me.  I ran into a couple of friends and we chatted a bit.  Good times.  There didn't seem to be a break and milk panic going on so that's good.  I got snacks and my usual big bag of peanut butter M&Ms.  Definitely a cheap date here.

Y'all stay warm and dry.  ^j^

purge 'til you drop

My friend and I spent another four hours today digging through stuff, pitching and sorting.  We work together well with little conversation required except "does it stay."  She emptied the shredder multiple times and we made some headway on the scary back room.  It's half empty now.  I remember the process following my parents' death and it was a real chore going through 60 years worth of stuff.  We got ripped off by the sale lady, but I won't go there because I try to stay positive.  Let's just say I had to BUY something that was supposed to go to me because of her ethics.  It was taken out of my part of the sale proceeds.  

God is providing me, one day at a time, with what I need.  I've let go of the agenda that I had such a tight control on for long and just go where the spirit leads.  There's a lot of peace in that.  One day there's not squat but other days are an adventure.  I've always been one to stick to a schedule, mainly because of the hospital.  You don't play in that kind of job.  

I just got a text from my rehab buddy and they're working her hard which is what she needs if she's going to be able to go home.  If you don't use it you lose it. I feel like a part of the staff there as many times as I've visited.  I know right where the social worker's office is!

Weather permitting, I will hit 412.  Or maybe body permitting.  That little workout today kicked my butt.  ^j^

killing us softly

I just read about the arrest of the Chinese CEO in Canada and all I could do was shake my head and ask "wtf."  Our relations are already strained with this country to which we owe billions on top of billions and the trade war isn't helping matters.  But who cares about how all of this affects we the people?  Um.  I do.  

I found myself 9.15 in the hole today so I deposited my last ten bucks to avoid an overdraft charge.  Must.Check.Daily.  I'm trying my best to get a grip on this thing.  If they cut my SS somebody might as well rent me a room.  I honestly don't see that happening because everybody in the country would revolt and end up on the White House steps looking for food and shelter.  It's a slippery slope, as is.  

There is wintry mix in the forecast for the weekend which bums me out because I wanted to go to Jackson and see the girls.  We shall see what Tennessee weather brings.  It has its' own way of throwing you a curve.  

Tis the season to be jolly!  Or not.  The holidays are a very tough time for many for a variety of reasons.  The "first" Christmas, birthday, etc following the death of a loved one is always hard.  So is being poor and not having enough to eat.  Or spending a holiday in jail or away from family in the service.  At the end of the day, we're all just people who want to be happy.  

If the planets line up just right mama dog and all six puppies will be adopted tomorrow.  Keep your fingers and toes crossed.  

Peace ~

new kicks

My 40 dollar non-Brooks shoes came in today's mail and they feel just fine.  I met my friend at her vortex of an ex-home and we silently went at the mess on a mission.  It is time to purge, for more than just me and her.  Lorna's doing it too.

I was visiting  the nursing home prior to that and was blessed with being able to watch the funeral for President Bush.  I did not know the story about him being shot down until his biographer detailed it.  It was odd seeing all those presidents and their wives sitting together in silent tribute.  I think I caught Trump napping but I can't swear to it.  

Evidently FedEx is so overloaded they're hiring drivers from other companies because a Penske truck just brought Reaves' toys.  As for the puppy adoption, the wheels are turning for all six to go to a women's prison to be raised by inmates.  I think that is such a cool thing.  They are also working on a home for mama dog if they can't go as a package.  Thank goodness for people who actually care, ya know?  High five Amanda.  

Bubba is bringing my Snoopy tree today and I've already got the lights ready.  Y'all stay happy and healthy and keep the faith ^j^

spontaneous as heck

I was up this morning just piddling around when I got a call from a friend who wanted me to ride shotgun to Jackson.  I had nothing planned so there we went for lunch at Rafferty's, a visit with Lauren at Best Western and a stop by Macy's.  Then she hit up Sam's while I sat in the car trying to make phone calls. Traffic was light and it goes a whole lot quicker in a nice car with somebody else driving. Just saying.

 I'm knee deep in trying to arrange a transport for a litter of puppies to an agency in Union City to be sent to Nashville.  I don't know the owner, but these puppies have kind of invaded Mamye's porch so she's trying to help the neighbor find homes.  

FedEx called again because my "new" road name still won't track on GPS.  It happens every time.  USPS, 911 and everybody else is on board but the package delivery is a different story.  I think UPS has finally figured it out since I'm right down the road.  My mailman delivered (another) ceritifed letter from the IRS.  All I can say is wait your turn.  Trump spends 1300 an hour on bullshit.  So do all the other government officials and agencies.  

It was also a pleasure to meet Terracita today, Lauren's work pal.  She's as sweet as pie and is taking good care of the gal with the bad leg.  She's doing remarkably well for one week post op, already back at work.  

That's all for now but tomorrow is another day.  We shall see what it brings ^j^

nothing like a card in the mail

I rarely send cards because I never have my s**t together enough to do it but I do so love to get them.  When I got home from town I found my first two Christmas cards.  Christmas card people either do it religiously or not at all.  I can name you the ones I've gotten a card from every year for the last ten.  As a bonus I got the last two issues of Blue Ridge Life with that card.  One of these days.....I'll make it there.

I stopped by the funeral home to meet their new therapy dog and she is to die for gorgeous and sweet as pie.  Just a pup.  She will go for training at about 4 months to become a service dog.  I just think that's the coolest thing EVER.  Then I traveled down to Sunflower Health's Manic Monday and open house.  Got some cute cute glasses for 4 bucks and a light lunch.  I could spend the rent in that store, just saying.  They were having mini-reflexology sessions but she was busy so I moved on.  

I checked on a car I've had my eye on that is low mileage and owner driven.  Red, I'm saying.  The price is reasonable but sadly out of my reach at the moment.  We shall see what January brings my way financially.  I will be forced to hire an accountant this year for the first time ever due to all the stuff that's happened since December 6th, 2017.  

Y'all stay merry and bright ^j^

coulda' shoulda' wouda'

I think often about how we got from there to here, politically and otherwise.  9/11 was a pivotal point for this country.  Thousands signed up for duty in Iraq and Afghanistan in the wake of "weapons of mass destruction" supposedly masterminded by the man found hiding in a hole.  I believe with all my heart that the size of this deployment was way overboard and planned by Dick Cheney to make himself rich via government military contracts.  Our entire country was in shock and recovery mode and everybody wanted justice.  Only it wasn't the one they found.  It was the one whom they killed under the Obama administration who was behind all of it.  Go figure.  I don't blame Dubya at all.  He was hoodwinked.  

Fast forward to 2018 where said veterans are not receiving the benefits they were promised at enlistment.  Many of them have extensive PTSD from the violence and harsh conditions they endured.  I have a friend who served in Iraq and he has been fortunate enough to spend a year as a contractor there before going back to school to become a nurse.  And soon a CRNA.  He was married to a gunner and when they got out, it wasn't what it was before.  He is now happy and healthy and living the dream.

I don't know about y'all but I bought gas for 1.95 today.  Take that, Kuwait Of course the down side is that fracking is tearing this country to pieces so we can become "independent" from foreign oil.  How about ethanol made from hemp?  That's a good cash crop and doesn't harm the environment like carbon.  Just a thought.  

I skipped church today but it was hanging of the greens so when I go back it will be all Christmas looking.  Instead, I visited my friend again at the hospital.  Things are looking up!  I'm unemployed for a couple of weeks so if you need errands run give me a call....seriously.  I've gotten used to the extra money and it actually allowed me to buy presents for Reaves.  Am I grateful?  You bet your sweet ass.

Light a candle for Advent ^j^

ho ho ho

I never go shopping but I have a grandchild to buy for now so I hit up the mall to look for clothes for her and tennis shoes for me.  I scored two really cute outfits for her but no luck on the shoes.  I guess I'm gonna' have to budget some more before that happens.  I found some that were reasonably priced and I wanted them but someone had STOLEN my size.  There was one on display and an empty box.  Old salesgirl was pissed to say the least.  

It was time to meet Carol for lunch by then so we shared an appetizer sampler from Applebee's where we almost froze to death.  It was a madhouse at Bath and Body so I just cruised on by.  As I passed center court I saw all these cute little kids having their picture made with Santa.  I don't think Reaves has seen him yet but I'll bet 'ya she will grab his glasses and beard.  

It rained hard all night and when I left this morning I found myself driving through some very deep water at the bottom of the lane. The old Camry almost choked out on me but got me through.  All of the water from this hill drains down to that spot during heavy rain.  It has also been known to be swallowed by Forked Deer backwater.  

Checking on Lauren I found that she was in the shower with help so she's improving.  It's still balmy here like it normally is unless there's a cold snap.  It is rare for us to drop below freezing and stay there for a week, but it happens.  

Y'all spare your nerves and shop online or local small business.  It's worth it, I promise.  Happy holidays kids.  Enjoy every minute of it.

De-stress ~