It was snowing this morning when I got up after tossing and turning for an hour or so. Right after Daddy died I did that for months because it was during that time that he passed and I somehow knew it. The moon was full then, just like when Mama passed 17 days ago around the same time. There were several inches of snow on the ground that last day so it was a bittersweet reminder driving to work in the dark to save some more lives. Fortunately it wasn't that bad but it can change on a dime, I'm telling you. I have a double ear infection because: Clinical lab in a busy hospital + zero immunity. Stress related, if you will.
There will be no long daily updates of parental mishaps except in the rearview, which I'm certain will happen. It has just recently smacked me in the head how very sick my Daddy was walking around with that hidden time bomb of an infected hernia mesh for who knows how many years. The operation was at least 30 years ago. While scrubbing his belly to prep for BRAND NEW hernia, a small scab was dislocated and guess what came out? Um..eww. Thus began his saga of three surgeries in five or six weeks. He was in the rehab on his birthday and I didn't go by because I had see him the day before. My bad, indeed. His checkup with the surgeon was on for Tuesday but when I visited on that Sunday I noticed he seemed very sick so he was direct admitted to the hospital. At that point, it had to be done. I was still reeling from the loss of my ex and BG was, especially.
It was a very bumpy ride through the fall landing us right smack at Maple Ridge as headquarters. Once we moved Mom out of that house, she never went back and I'm glad. It would have just made her sad. She spent six weeks alone in the cabin except for Ms. Faye and home health plus the girls here on the hill on call. James Frank was the watchman over his old and dear friend. Every single time an ambulance pulled up over the years, he met me to find out how they were. You can't buy that kind of loyalty or friendship.
There are certain people who will take the time and effort to coax out of you what's swimming around wanting to be talked about, and pull it out gently. Kim is one of those, and I was crying when I left today after she and I and another co-worker shared the grief. She made me promise I'd tell her what to do. Lord, girl. That's not my strong suit.!
I was hoping the snow would stay around until I could watch outside the new gigantic picture window but there are still white patches to admire. There are notes at every faucet that say "DON't!" turn the water off. We forgot sometime in December and ended up trekking down to the deserted Casa Grands for showers and flush water. That's probably how I got infected.
I've given up impatience for Lent because that is one of the most unfaithful things about me. I want, usually, what I want when I want it and often try to "push things along." The gift that I carry into Ash Wednesday is the knowledge that all things come in God's time not mine.